jasper (unemployed)
@portabible
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461
Following
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they/them, i "write" "movies" and uuuuuuuuouuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Asheville, NC
Joined December 2017
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i havent watched
#Supernatural
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#destiel
canon and then immediately killing cas is the biggest homophobic power move ever and i am losing my fucking mind rn
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@MeganBitchell
I have information that will lead to the arrest of Andy the Goose's murderer.
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@jacobrspooner
twitter is fun because you can always tell who wasn't paying attention during middle school english class when they taught the basic elements of a story
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@NeilNevins
@punishedthumbs
doesn’t matter how good you are at realism if you can’t craft a world as stylistically convincing as incredibles, monsters inc, wall•e, etc. none of the pixar classics are beloved for their recreations of reality
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@fellawhomstdve
filoni read this joel coen interview and said “great! sounds like a great idea”
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ALERT: RED HAS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF THE POWER VACUUM. THE OTHER SPOKESCANDIES ARE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. MAYA RUDOLPH IS LOST. I REPEAT. MAYA RUDOLPH IS LOST
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@singtoconley
also pretty interesting that we’re at the ouroborous stage of memes now where a lot of new stuff is just circa-2010 memes but done in an ironic or cursed fashion
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@nibiru_TRUTH
people are asking a lot of questions already answered by my “i did not kill three cyclists on a single two-mile drive to the store” t-shirt
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@JennyENicholson
when a character i like is diverse, this is cool and good. when a character i dislike is diverse, this is forced diversity and this is bad and i hate this,
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@fellawhomstdve
remember when some people on here thought Oppenheimer being a real biopic was a bait-and-switch and it was actually going to be a stealth TENET pre-sequel
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@daddycrimeboy
you should have done a shittier job with the photoshop. then it would’ve done numbers
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@NandovMovies
i think he just doesn't harbor any illusions about the reality of what kind of a gig it is
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@yourpalchauncey
when are we gonna get the oscar isaac shel silverstein biopic where shel silverstein fucks a lot. just eats all the pussy
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@capybaroness
not even the technical categories is a huge insult, should have been able to pick up sound/visual effects with ease
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@undertheskiinn
yeah some of the comments about cis people's reactions to it have made me feel insane bc i've showed it to 5+ cis people and all of them have thought it was great, psychically and emotionally damaging, which it is!
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oh that’s really annoying. don’t say that please
Taylor Swift on re-recording her old albums: “I’m collecting horcruxes. I’m collecting infinity stones. Gandalf’s voice is in my head every time I put out a new one. For me, it is a movie now”
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@singtoconley
like cursed emojis and this new trend of like. short videos on tumblr with impact font set to Robot Rock by Daft Punk or an adjacent not-quite-meme song that hits the uncanny valley of being funny for reasons you can’t quite put your finger on
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@biggestjoel
aronofsky taking out the Bible at a party and being like “this shit is so fucked up. has anyone read it”
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@weedhitter
not their first album but incubus was 1000% better before they decided they were “too good” for nu metal
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@fellawhomstdve
nothing funnier than luke and ahsoka making the exact same mistakes as the jedi - even though it’s completely out of character for them - because the plot demands it
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planning on coming out to my parents tomorrow merry christmas wish me luck 🤪🤪🤪
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@ilyclemmie
every time a movie she's in gets really popular i see like three widely shared posts saying she can't act, she's the worst part of the movie, etc. like. i feel like these people live in a different world or something
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About to witness the greatest double feature known to humankind
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not for nothing but while making this i had the revelation that the Good Doctor's neck is WAY longer than dr. han's. what's up with that
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new jersey drivers can’t legally have sex. they just say “fill ‘er up regular” and then the gas station attendant fucks their wife
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@fellawhomstdve
no you don’t get it. she’s a grey jedi, they made the artistic choice for all the scenery to match her in (lack of) color. you just don’t understand filoni’s thematic genius
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@singtoconley
love the sea of comments on this criticizing your friend for not almost getting into an accident a little bit more
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@eventualforever
richard e. grant!!!! he needs to be in some better movies though please (besides withnail & i)
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@capybaroness
not coincidentally, pan’s labyrinth is probably the movie where his style is compromised the least and i think it’s his best!!
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hi my name is jasper. jas for short. jasper for long. that is my name :)
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@hausofdecline
people used to watch it for smash bros. character reveals and now they watch it for the kojima appearance and deluded hope that silksong will be announced (it won’t)
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Do not respect a flamethrower. Incredibly try-hard weapon
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@Pangaea__
i ran into my good friend joe biden at the grocery store and he let me take a picture of him of course
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this feels like it’s from another universe at this point. i can’t remember the last time i heard dialogue in an MCU that actually felt motivated by characters instead of the plot
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@judysquirrels
yeah this is a wild response to have to the tweet you made. not the first time lanthimos made a film with a moral dilemma that’s barely applicable to the real world. dogtooth? sacred deer? surely there are lessons but nothing as politically pertinent as KotFM lol
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@autocastratrix
have i finally stumbled upon nethack twitter because i would like More of these posts please
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@VK_HM
@coopercooperco
dune but i start clapping like a seal every time a spaceship shows up like it's a star wars character i recognize
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ok that went as well as could have reasonably been expected i think! we good
planning on coming out to my parents tomorrow merry christmas wish me luck 🤪🤪🤪
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don’t actually think the “haha quirky indie game about depression!!!!!!” meme is that funny if that’s the main reaction to playing a video game that actually has Themes
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i don’t really like taylor swift but i think it was really fun and sexy of her to release an album so psychically powerful that it killed prince phillip on the spot
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@NapeMango
@100gecs
yes there's a video right there. are you seriously questioning it? wow............. skepticism levels unreal...........
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@dogshit95
very embarrassing wrt shows like Stranger Things which were always meant to be single seasons but are forced to trick you into thinking they were always meant to be 5-season epics (and then franchises) because their success, not the story, demands it
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@Srirachachau
he was the best part of the movie!!!! so many of the razzies are just hating on camp
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@AlexMaskill
@intellegint
unfortunately they're actually just the soundtrack to 28 Days Later
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Millie Bobby Brown is short for Millicent Robert Brown vs. Board of Education
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interesting how dunkey has distinguished his serious reviews from his haha silly ones by calling them “dunkviews” for 1000 years now. not sure why people are suddenly calling him out for “bad faith arguments” just because he made fun of a game they liked
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not sure why you deleted this one
@whoreby_parker
. it’s okay though i saved it for you
Search “this tweet has been deleted” in your camera roll and post your favorite
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@cacmrg
this is the most effectively an imagine dragons song has been used in the history of the universe
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I feel like someone should tell Daft Punk this is literally the worst time to hang up your masks.
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@EPM106
@punishedthumbs
it’s tom conti! who is wonderful in merry christmas, mr. lawrence but who i genuinely thought was dead until i saw publicity stills from this film
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@glamdemon2004
the melanie martinez song in the tiktok really is the cherry on top of this one
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shut up about pemdas. shut up about pemdas. shut up about pemdas. go back to 6th grade and learn the order of operations
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hey guys, i started a gofundme to raise money for my laser hair removal treatment. it's something i've wanted to do for ages to affirm my identity, but it's super expensive too. any help is appreciated, no matter how big or small.💖 thank you!
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@fellawhomstdve
in a previous episode they’re like “yea the guy who made the darksaber was both mandalorian and jedi” but we can’t do that again sorry. them’s the rules
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@theneedledrop
alice in chains so old now that they're basically the dinosaurs that the devil put here
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@MeganBitchell
[youth pastor voice] you know who among us was also sus? judas. good tiktok meg
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full offense but how do you become a published author and journalist without being able to distinguish between “good person” and “protagonist”
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@judysquirrels
it’s wild that i keep seeing comments (even from the academy!) that williams and dano were miscast in this. it’s spielberg’s family for crying out loud! who could be more qualified to make those choices???
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