Brian Jordan Alvarez
@brianjoralvarez
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Joined November 2014
Ppl born in 2000 are now 40. Let that sink in.
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Ppl born in 2000 are now 36. let that sink in.
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I love triscuits. It’s like eating a basket.
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I’m not gay. When I hook up with a guy I am doing it as an ally.
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People born in 1996 are now SIXTY. Let that sink in.
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you ever get to a restaurant and you’re not allowed to order like normal. cause they have some little game they want you to play.
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Not everyone is gay. But some people are. And those people are gay.
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listen. we cannot kill this fucking pig. there’s a spider nearby who keeps writing things in her web and they seem to be friends.
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it is crazy that when you get an oil stain on a shirt it’s like game over.
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toddler on the plane told me I’m wearing a green shirt and he is so fucking right.
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It has happened again. Here I am again, I’m laughing, I’m a little sad, I can’t believe it. I can’t believe I let this keep happening. I have been routed by Apple Maps to a Starbucks that I thought was a real Starbucks. But it’s inside a fucking target.
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Hey! Sorry, I just saw your text. I was refusing to open it so that it wouldn’t say “read“.
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we all have that one friend who is someone we met and became friends with.
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You have to send hahahahahas of different lengths or it will seem fake.
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Most aggressive text you can get from someone:. ?.
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Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my 1500 calorie American breakfast that makes me tired.
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I’m sorry I had to!!!!! I had to let it linger.
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It has happened again. I have been delivered by Apple Maps to a Starbucks that is inside of a grocery store. This is not what I wanted. This is a catastrophe.
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This was the first girl you worked at a restaurant with if you grew up in the south
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I’m eating alone at a restaurant (by CHOICE!) and they’ve put me at the most public table, facing the whole restaurant. I can see every guest and every employee. I am a spectacle.
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hey, we saw you from across the bar and we noticed that you’re the bartender. Could I have a sparkling water with lime and he’s I think just gonna have a sprite.
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To the ppl saying this is wrong. u r wrong c u in math class.
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Every day that I am gay I prove my middle school bullies right.
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Days are real‼️‼️ years are real‼️ minutes and seconds and hours are fake ‼️‼️‼️ months are kind of real ‼️‼️‼️.
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What if there is literally no way to miss out on or waste your life. What if laying in bed or playing on your phone is just as interesting and full of life as “getting out there“ and “doing it“.
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Being gay is such a vibe. It’s like “ok, I’m gay”.
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i come alive in the back of a taxi. looking out the window is my job.
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i mean it is ultimately true that when the rhythm is glad there is nothing to be sad.
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cannot overexpress how much a one hour flight takes five hours door to door.
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FX's English Teacher - OFFICIAL TRAILER | A new comedy series that stars Brian Jordan Alvarez as Evan, an Austin high school teacher striving to meet the conflicting needs of students and parents amidst ever-changing rules. Premieres 9.2 on FX. Stream on Hulu. #EnglishTeacherFX
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Bald Ann Dowd endorsement.
ENGLISH TEACHER episode 6 is a perfect piece of television. obsessed with this diva.
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hey we saw you from across the bar. did you see us? can you see us. we are worried we are ghosts.
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not to be extra but I would have been bored during the Gettysburg address 😭😭 y’all know I am like that.
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Some men just want to watch the world learn. FX's new comedy English Teacher premieres 9.2. Stream on Hulu.
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a big part of growing up is accepting when you’ve been routed to a starbucks that’s inside of a target. you just walk in there and get your fucking drink.
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At Applebees in Times Square celebrating the success of English teacher.
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being vaguely miserable somewhere beautiful is actually just a more poetic way to enjoy it.
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Harry Potter newspaper vibes.
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well well well…. if it isn’t me…. waking up to an absolutely beautiful day full of promise and joy…. ready to bring a clear open mind to each moment…. welcoming all good things……and full of love….
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This one—specifically this one—is for the boys with the booming system.
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Mama they are tweeting about us in absolutely gorgeous French.
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Extremely excited for this!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😊😊😊
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Only heterosexual gay people at pride! No actually gay activities, just a very light counterculture vibe and a parade of bank floats that say “no homo”.
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this is awesome!!!!!!!!.
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If you cannot be the best at something, at least be gay.
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Me and Ice Spice had such an incredible year together ❤️
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Microwave would be a beautiful name for a girl.
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that fact that fish is bad if it tastes “fishy.” not good for the brand.
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is this good.
only tv show to ever tv so hard. it’s so tv coded. it’s a tv show that feels like a tv show. no other tv show could tv like it does ! #EnglishTeacherFX
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we all have that one uncle who is your fathers brother.
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Hearing a lot of people say “stream English teacher.” “Starting tomorrow you’ll be able to binge all of season one on Hulu.” Just something I’m hearing.
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i was just on the news in Australia.
HE DID IT! . After decades of others trying, @brianjoralvarez is *the* American actor who has absolutely nailed the Australian accent. We even pitched him some city names to try out — how do you think he did?
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When I chose to be gay, I honestly had no idea it would be this cool.
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Courtyard Marriott……Marion Cotillard…. rly makes u think.
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wow just streamed English Teacher on Hulu. Highly recommend.
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Don’t talk to me until I’ve had breakfast, lunch, dinner, a full night’s sleep, let’s talk tomorrow. Let’s touch base tomorrow and maybe we can chat but I may need to do a few things before you talk to me.
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Don’t ever talk to me!!!!! I am busy on my phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
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Still processing the fact that English Teacher got the coveted Bald Ann Dowd endorsement.
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there should be a site where they only allow fans!!!!.
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You guys ever have that thing where you can only listen to Fleetwood Mac?.
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the term “stan” actually comes from “fans of steely dan”.
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they love to tell you that it’s a COMPLETELY FULL flight. honey relax!.
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it's funny how "super size me" was such a revolution. this guy was like, if you eat only McDonald's every single day. it will negatively impact your health. and we were all like WHAT.
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“ok i just had an INCREDIBLE idea” -God thinking of gay ppl.
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did anybody ever think for one fucking second that maybe the world should be exactly the way i want it to be and not this other random way that it is.
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chat is this real.
chat, i am a fan of ENGLISH TEACHER on FX.
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