margot
@margotfakir
Followers
665
Following
364
Media
127
Statuses
5,591
im a black hole, im a light bender
Outside, IN
Joined July 2012
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Pinned Tweet
hey can you point this at me. no, its not loaded. promise
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@Thinkin_on_it
@evangelionJPEG
its all fun and games until somebody Lainpills a 55 yro woman
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from august 2013 to may 2016 Drake employed me as his personal blunt roller. during that time he faced somewhere between 1200 and 1500 grams of catnip, never any the wiser. i was let go due to irreconcilable differences (i told him not to fuck kids)
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in 4th grade this kids estranged dad came to pick him up (drunk) and rolled up on the grass. he didnt brake. he pinned a fifth grader to the brick wall who died instantly but i can still see his head lolling onto the hood wide eyed at some unholy angle. chicken alfredo
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yup that's right. a REAL 16 y/o Nazi would iron his flag before he went to the desantis rally
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@lib_crusher
destiny actually going to israel is web2.0 version of christopher hitchens waterboarding
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@proudbugman
@hatesec
he died as he lived: insulin resistant
My piss smells really bad I better drink a bunch of soda to sweeten it up
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5K
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@hastifliche
haven't eaten much, but typically are the foodstuffs combined or otherwise prepared before consumption? i am a human person from this earth planet
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ME: Crazy Frog, im so worried about my upcoming cock transplant
CRAZY FROG: it will be okay
(after surgery)
ME: i feel better but where is the Crazy Frog?
DOCTOR: who did you think the donor was?
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@spiritnght2
its probably a good thing that people born after 98 have no memory of the 9/11 footage on every channel every day for a year
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@TraeWilson9
@ZeroNameless_
@TomStheVoice
grizzly man didnt even get cozy with them. he stalked and watched them but he couldve never done something like this. guy in this video is a sanctuary worker or some kind of actual specialist, grizzly man just had a fetish
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childlike wonder can only exist alongside a healthy sense of childlike fear
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maturity is realizing the 24 yro women matching with me on tinder when i was 18 were a little bit evil with it
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fella like me would never be caught dead donning gay apparel. just how i was raised
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BILLY WOODS: cant fuck with these cats like a horse vet / she asked why we not divorced yet? / i said hold your horses
ELUCID: vaginas can do sorcery
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JIGSAW: and now you see, that even I, have my sick and twisted morality of mine ?
ME, PENIS (AND BALLS) CLAMPED IN SOME TERRIFIC BYZANTINE VICE: well, who am i to judge
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password at 13: hitleraids!1990
at 23: la-recherche_2_temps-perdu~
at 33: aids!hitler1
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too much discourse about girldick. need to start talking about vaguyna
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just died of shrapnel to the temporal lobe after firing an experimental $14 handgun
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@RealGlennHughes
yes the second one, doesnt have to be at a protest, sooner than later if possible, thank tou
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@funeralpig
elbowing gf and saying look look quick. there's Become death, destroyer of worlds
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an all-female hardcore band called Dishonorable Discharge would go extremely crazy
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@ZeroSuitCamus
over 2000 is too many dragons to be credible. i would believe this if you said 200 dragons instead
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i came to this combination vape store and methadone clinic to find a wife
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if i ever thought of a conversation people weren't ready for i wouldn't even mention it
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@dsonoiki
@Khanyez14
@HootsFromAbong
@pegobry
@growing_daniel
for a writer youre pretty incurious about what its like to be someone who is not like you
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i share a birthday with lin manuel miranda and a social security number with one of the people in my fridge
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got put on the no fly list for making a gravity bong in the plane bathroom
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@JucikaDaily
last few posts have been uncharacteristically horny. is everything okay at home?
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@ryanposting
people hate the redditor because he is earnest but naive. people hate the punished redditor because he is reddit in a cloying worldweary way
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i only listen to murder music--that devil shit--but i nonetheless love Christ
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telling my wife to "buzz off, busy bee" and breaking into silent, gasping sobs as soon as she leaves the room
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oh dont mind me, im about to lose a hand after sacktapping your non-neutered mastiff so youll be forced to put him down
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it's nice of tobacco companies to include a little snack at the end of the cigarette
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using the word "shrooms" in your mentions so you're accosted by bots
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[trying to describe how bad a coworker smells] she's got a certain--je ne sais queef
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how many of the Goosebumps books should I have read before attempting to get a goth gf
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guy who has just seen Jurassic Park: mom can you turn on the hall light? getting a lot of dinosaur vibes from out there
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gf forcing me at gunpoint to watch "Love on the Spectrum" so we can "learn some new coping methods"
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