Triumph of Saint Katie
@kayfabegamergrl
Followers
790
Following
561
Media
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Statuses
16,795
fun gimmick account where I talk about misogyny in magic and people get mad at me for it she/her
Wilmington, DE
Joined September 2020
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@punished_cait
"I can't have sex with women my age because they can't have kids"
"I'm 19 and I can't have kids"
"Oh that's fine, we can still have sex"
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@fochti
The thing that kills me is that researchers decided that women don't have special interests, because they either didn't ask women, or discounted all the conventionally feminine ones from being special interests.
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@sbstryker
Was Harry cool though, if he didn't stop James from treating the waitstaff like that?
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Any sufficiently advanced card game is indistinguishable from Magic
You can copy my homework. Just make sure to change it a little bit
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@halomancer1
"These people might call themselves women, but would women GO SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES IN GROUPS?"/
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@magicsatanist
@VeryBadLlama
@FutureHasbeen
On AITA, the woman is asking if she's the asshole for ordering broccoli at a restaurant when her husband doesn't like it, and then you get to the part where he's abusive
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It used to be that if your opponent has all their lands tapped, you could assume they can't cast a spell. But you can't anymore. Because of convoke.
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@brdwchisbldeagl
@jamieleecurtis
She literally has a gay trans daughter who she's incredibly supportive of, you picked the worst person to accuse of an empty gesture
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One interesting thing I learned from my brief foray into minis gaming is that most other gaming communities think of Magic players as toxic and cutthroat
Putting aside feminism and the "right thing to do", just speaking as a self-interested straight man--
It would be nice if there were more women who played magic. Would be nice if this was a hobby I could bring up on a first date. Would be nice if this gif wasn't so accurate:
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"Flavor doesn't matter for competitive play."
Three time pro tour champion Paulo Vitor Damo da Rosa: "You see, I’ve always been fascinated by this topic...if Fireball was called Sonic Grenade and Shivan Dragon was Shivan Battle Tank, I’d not have touched M:tG."
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As someone with many years of experience pursuing and dating nerdy guys: the reason nerdy guys are single is because they're terrified of rejection and will do anything to avoid it
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A babysitter allowed our 4 year old to open 11 packs of Modern Horizons 3 today.
When my wife discovered this, she asked the babysitter why she allowed this to happen.
The response:
“She kept asking for more.”
I told my wife not to let that babysitter anywhere near our child
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@zachsilberberg
And he has the most important and under-appreciated pillar of himbo-ness: he seems really kind!
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They didn't include the first strike damage step only to give the others a chance
The Magic fandom on tumblr is asking the real questions.
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I don't believe that Commander players actually sufficiently randomize their decks, sorry
As much as I'm happy to see Yorion banned the idea that shuffling an 80 card deck is a problem in a world where Commander is the most popular paper format is really strange to me.
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@lingerie_addict
How do you pretend to have a job to your spouse for 10 years? The money is the unethical part, but faking having a job is the part that confuses me more
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So I don't mind the Disney IP for what it is (I work with kids, I'm a parent, it's part of my life), but I'm a little afraid of a game where the two player bases are Disney Adults, and people who complain about the EV of Magic tournaments on Twitter
Lorcana could be the most mechanically fun game in the world with a billion dollars in prizes, but as someone with no enjoyment of Disney movies, the IP theming will always feel incredibly silly to me and I (and many others) just can't get around that. 🧵
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@theserthefables
@deliriousglee
@MorganGodfery
You can want to be a parent and still complain about a rough and tiring day! But then you can say "I had a hard day parenting today", not write a bunch of nonsense therapy speak about how having to parent is oppressing you.
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I never learned the names of the New Capenna families, but I'm suddenly really inspired to learn them just to drive boomers insane.
"Yeah, it's a midrange attrition Riveteers-style deck."
balancing out the people who refer to eternal decks using magic color combo names by doing the opposite
"yeah i've been really liking rakano energy in modern lately"
"god i hate playing against feln scam that deck sucks"
"skycrag phoenix is kind of oppressive"
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Harold, they're lesbians
You can tell this is a skit because it depicts women in an LGS without their boyfriends😀
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People are saying this card is going to be DNT playable, and I just don't see it, sorry. Three mana for a 1/1? We can't play every card with an attractive woman on it.
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Yep, if a restaurant triples the number of dishes they make, going off in wildly different culinary directions with each addition, that certainly won't affect the quality or reliability of the items I previously loved on the menu, great analogy
Remember when your favorite restaurant added a dish you weren't interested in and how you said nothing while you quietly continued to enjoy the menu items you enjoy?
Yeah, that's this. Not every set needs to be for you, quit the entitlement and enjoy the gathering.
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Why aren't you better at Magic? (Play-related, not life-related, serious answers only)
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@KaelWrit
@AoifeMurtagh6
@BluesteinLinda
I have been saying that eventually research is going to show that trauma from untreated pain is just as bad for substance abuse and addiction
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"Is the stack empty? What are life totals? What are poison counters? How many cards in hand? How many cards are left in your deck? How big would my Tarmogoyf be if I cast one? Do you know how to get to the Chipotle? Oh that's far, can you give me a ride to the Chipotle?"
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@HDNoah
@GrahamB47
One of the best 30 Rock takes I've ever seen is that the show only works because the show within the show is supposed to be bad and unfunny
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@erinisaway
I just don't get how the rest of the relationship works once you've misrepresented yourself to initiate it?
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I just don't know if I could trust this vape shop to be loyal to me when I'm at my most vulnerable
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One time a man said, "why do MTG sluts dress like that?" to my face, so basically I kept dressing like this at Magic tournaments out of spite
I've got to get a head start on the most challenging part of planning for Eternal Weekend (putting together enough hot outfits)
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Easy Ender's Game
Can you name a book written by an author you vehemently disagree with politically that is in your opinion nevertheless a valuable masterwork?
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@KendraWrites
@dongwon
It's almost like all the evidence points to punishment being a universally ineffective method for changing behavior (let alone the fact that charging money to people who don't have money obviously doesn't work)
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Maybe I'm the asshole for getting noticeably upset at my prerelease opponent being glacially slow and horrendously sloppy, but maybe if I become a massive saltlord these opponents will stop thinking I want to talk to them afterwards (at least mostly they don't hit on me anymore)
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SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS?
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P1P1 cube drink? (Will do snacks a bit later)
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@MNateShyamalan
Why did he buy Twitter when he actually just wants to post jokes that would have killed on 2007 facebook
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If you want to move your leftism out of your bio and into the real world, I would also like to point out that Narcan is available at Target now
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All the players fought hard, but in the end it was no contest. Cube Draft is the most real Magic format.
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@olyonps
@OkButStill
Yeah they really buried the lede on this one. This wasn't her HOME, it was just a house she owned.
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@yellowveile
@thechosenberg
Yeah I don't get how anyone's reaction to this is "your relationship is over" instead of "why are you worrying about having sex with your suicidal partner who needs treatment immediately"
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Scorching hot take, but Taylor Swift dating Travis Kelce laid the cultural groundwork for everyone to be so charmed by Tim Walz now
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This is probably a healthy relationship to have with a card game for children right
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You can't say "so you're not on Manaless Dredge" when your opponent chooses the play anymore. Because of woke.
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@bad2sentence
I think this is just mid two sentence horror. It uses the "bad thing. narrator is actually bad thing." format that's super cliche, but this isn't a particularly bad execution.
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@DuncanWatson
@yayalexisgay
Wait, people are NIMBYs about WALKING PATHS? Being adjacent to a multi-use trail is probably the best perk a house could have.
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Let's decide what Real Magic is once and for all. I will not be taking feedback on what formats I included. Vote on round one below.
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Blocking transphobes rather than engaging with them, but I want to state one more time for the record that trans women in Magic are the reason I'm even playing now
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I'm looking forward to learning another card game only to be the most annoying Magic player who calls every card by a Magic card it's not even that similar to
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Monarch is so obviously busted; didn't they learn their lesson with initiative?
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@evvywevvy
@RiotLinguist
Obviously all women can feel lonely and unwanted, but I also find it funny how this worldview just doesn't account for unattractive women
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@clhubes
It's funny that you consider those the two categories of Starbucks drinks though, because I feel like their popularity these days is really in the non-coffee iced drinks (tea lemonades, refreshers, etc.)
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To be fair, that's only number two on my list of things people forgave LSV for too quickly
@Oltanya_
It really puts a bad taste in my mouth how quickly (in my view) the magic community forgave people like LSV for pushing obvious crypto grifts and scams to people just because they’re good at magic. At a min those decisions destroyed SBB and at worst people lost thousands in SBF
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@pervocracy
@anna__online
That you specified tall grass makes it sound like the world is a Pokemon game where you can only encounter couples having sex in certain terrain
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@caffeinebzz
@bad2sentence
You do realize it's possible to be legally blind and have that corrected with glasses, right? Some people have very bad vision
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Look I've gotta come clean...
Once my opponent asked me if I had any good cards in hand and I said "they're all bangers" but I lied they were all lands 😭. Don't cancel me pls
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People still called Standard "Type 2" in earnest when I started playing in 2010 and now I do it sometimes because it's funny, maybe every aspect of this game doesn't need to cater to the hypothetical world's most incurious "new player"
Is "EDH" still a good term to call Commander? Do new players know that EDH refers to Commander?
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We’re saying ggs when it was actually bgs now?
Crazy.
lying isn’t against the rules but we’re not talking about that.
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I SAW A TEMPORAL TRESPASS CAST IN TURNS TO TAKE AWAY OPPONENT'S LAST TURN, THE DREAM IS REAL
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@lingerie_addict
Is this person's takeaway from Boots Theory that someone who can afford to buy a $50 pair of boots should instead buy five $10 pairs, so that they can keep up with trends?
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@punished_cait
Even if you believe the myth that female fertility instantly declines at age 35, there's a whole lot of women between 28 and 34, who don't STILL LIVE IN A DORM ROOM
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There should be a Thoughtseize that doesn't put the same card on the top of your opponent's deck
its 2024 why isn't there a thoughtseize that looks at the top of your opponents deck first
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I think it's very funny how in paper Magic we set stops with body language
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Competitive Magic and misogyny are pretty inextricable, and the fear of validating people's assumptions that I'm bad because I'm a woman, or making all woman look bad, isn't completely in my head. But ultimately this fear being crippling makes me a worse player.
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@RealDJCthulhu
Absolutely agree, but I wonder if there's a transmisogyny angle: if a trans woman detransitions and then goes "taking estrogen ruined my ability to compete in powerlifting as a man", they would have to admit that estrogen also has physiological effects
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@hovermyr
a hot magic take but the text is just centered over a very cleavage centric selfie I think is the ticket
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Played Legacy FNM tonight when I hadn't played a weekly since having a baby. It cost $10? My round one loss didn't just ruin the entire tournament? I have store credit now? Is this what it's supposed to be like?
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It came up last night that we've been together so long that people don't know this lore!
A long time ago (he looks SO YOUNG), I proposed to
@Akaleth
with a Mox Pearl
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I don't really see the issue with Initiative in Legacy. If your Legacy playground doesn't like it, you can just ban the mechanic with Rule Zero.
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@marinasmigielsk
@michaelharriot
Okay but Simone's gymnastics are also beautiful? Vault isn't a very "aesthetic" event, so this is a weird criticism in the first place (well, it's not, it's just racism from the coach), but her power and skill aren't at odds with aesthetics: they are part of her beauty.
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I don't think I could possibly make this better with a caption
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I'm pretty sure this joke still works off discord because everyone can figure out what's in the spoiler text
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@punished_cait
If you WANT house stuff: upgrades for daily dishware, higher end appliances (stand mixer, air fryer), upgrades for appliances you're just living with (10 year old blender), things you have to replace regularly anyway (sheets, towels)
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Surely a woman posting a reasonable opinion about a low-stakes Magic issue on Twitter wouldn't receive outsized backlash
They should stop giving us spin downs and give us like a pack of 10 set relevant tokens insted
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Me: 58 basic land proxy burn deck you have to stop. you smoke too tough. your swag too different. your bitch is too bad. they’ll kill you
58 basic land proxy burn deck:
Boros Burn takes 3rd-4th at
@HexAndCompany
RCQ
58 judge proxies and 2 basic mountains after a spilled drink before round 1.
@fireshoes
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I love telling people that theft of tournament material is a DQ offense FOR THIS SPECIFIC REASON
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"Rakdos" and "Evoke" are also not names of cards, though they do refer to words actually on cards. "Midrange" and "Tempo" are neither, so I don't understand how that method of deck naming is supposed to be more clear or accessible.
Played at the LGS today. People were taking Modern and one person kept mentioning they played Scam. Two players asked what deck is Scam. Another player asked what does the card Scam do?
Almost like it’s a terrible name for a deck.
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"Phoenix isn't supposed to just play two cantrips turn two and pass."
"The purpose of a system is what it does."
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As an autistic queer person, I often get confused which aspect of what I said is controversial. That's why this Pride Month, I'm teaming up with Sheldon Menery.
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@kennedytcooper
And I actually love the maintenance worker my landlord employs! He is super nice, listens to what's wrong, and is very good at actually fixing things. However, it takes three tickets and a text message to the property management company for the maintenance worker to come out.
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