Hannah Rose 🥀
@hanalyst
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Following
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Writing as the ADHD allows / @UCR_MFA / 7w6 ENFP ✍🏼 in @Pshares , @havehadhavehad , @MastersReview WIP: One part Florida, two parts megachurch. 🐊 ⛪️
she/her
Joined December 2008
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Pinned Tweet
Am I Demisexual Or Was I Just Raised In The Church: A Memoir
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Ok, who made it to 2023 without ever having a positive Covid test? Tell me I’m not alone here.
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Just fyi to capitalism, my dad does not drink beer OR play golf and I’d still like to get him a Christmas present
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To the over-30 crowd: What's the saddest way you've injured yourself?
I leaned my head back to wet my hair in the shower and pulled a muscle in my neck.
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“And the worst paht is that this Mistuh Tate thought himself so clevuh, so untouchable with all his fancy cahs and glamuh, while right befoh our eyes was a Romanian pizza box that would prove his undoing”
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Pastors: “When are you going to say ‘Yes Chef’ to God’s recipe for your life?”
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@nienna121
Yeah I’m wondering if they’re gonna find some specific genetic thing that makes certain people more resistant, cause I have dodged it a *suspicious* number of times
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1/31/21: A cute guy on Twitter DMs me + we start talking nonstop. I’m writing a short story and I figure, I like his name, I’ll name a character after him.
1/31/23: That same guy is my partner and best friend. I’m heading to the bank to cash a $3000 prize for that short story.
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Do other ADHDers get on a high where you finally do one task that’s been haunting you for months and then BOOM suddenly you’re paying your car insurance, you’re making dentist appointments, you’re unstoppable?
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My professor has informed me that my lower-than-average workshop grade this quarter is due mainly to my “pattern of laughing at inappropriate moments during class discussion”
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These responses make me want to do yoga every day for the rest of my life.
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A student came up after my class to apologize for being “out of it” during our discussion. She said she’d thought about skipping but didn’t want to throw off our schedule.
I said “Oh, are you ok?” and she said “Well…I had a miscarriage.”
Be kind y’all. You really never know.
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Two years ago today, outside a cupcake shop in Lisbon, I broke up with an emotional manipulator who had almost convinced me to marry him. And I’ll always be proud of myself for that.
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I would like to take this moment (and the unexpected popularity of this tweet) to wish my gal
@E_Portale
a very happy birthday. She’s spending it in the hospital, unexpectedly...I assume y’all can relate.
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It bugs me that there are six letters in “WORDLE” instead of five
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Ok but am I the only one who’s been calling it an InstaPot instead of an Instant Pot?
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Few things get my proofreader goat like people saying “Awe” when they mean “Aww”
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Showed up for jury duty this morning and was part of the first group called. We were told to return in two weeks for selection on a case projected to last SEVENTY DAYS.
That’s three and a half months y’all. 🥲🫠
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@TaliaKolluri
He’s an engineer who likes puzzles so I’d guess Lego would fit the bill as well, as long as it’s not some massive structure my mom has no place for haha. Good thought!
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Can’t stop a war today. Can’t change a law today. But I can write, so I’ll do that.
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Me: Why can't anyone see that I'm amazing and a total catch
Person: Hi there, I think you're amazing and a total catch
Me: Well clearly there must be something wrong with you
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I just found out a synonym for homemaker/housewife is “henhussy” and now I want to be one
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Can’t wait to spend one more of my good skin years in lockdown
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When I say LA is a small town, I mean that a guy from my Christian college honors program just gave the Best Picture acceptance speech. What an epic night.
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Please keep all of your left-handed friends in your thoughts as we tackle another year of wrapping presents ✂️
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Me: “So to say ‘I am vaccinated’ would I use ‘soy’ or ‘estoy’?”
@theharriot
: “Estoy, because it’s not part of your identity.”
[pause]
Harry: “…cause this isn’t America.”
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@KlauraLenda
Nah I’m gonna respond like a real writer and publish an essay called “How I Lost My 4.0 By Laughing”
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I had the realization yesterday that perhaps I’m not a bad friend, and instead I’m just a regular friend with ADHD.
This is big if true. Like, undo-decades-of-guilt big. 🧵
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@cowboymed
@DrNicoleC
@soonils516
aside from everything else wrong with this tweet, it is truly bananas that you would use a scenario where so many people died as an argument against her point about ED mortality
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So excited to see my boyfriend for the first time in two months…just plucked my chin hairs in preparation 😌
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After over three years of saying I’ll start therapy “just as soon as X thing is over”…I’m actually going to reach out for a consultation today.
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The other night,
@theharriot
told me he loved me for the first time...on the way back from helping me take out the recycling.
Just in case anyone needed proof he’s an Enneagram 2.
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Hot tip: If you want a bunch of new Twitter followers, all you have to do is announce that you’re dating
@theharriot
. 😎
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Why do evangelicals need celebrities so badly? Soon as we get disillusioned/betrayed by one flashy pastor we run and find someone else to be our holy hero.
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Not to brag but we have really done it again with our housemate Christmas card
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Got nothing snarky to say for once...can’t express how much I miss this already.
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Trying to out-manspread the guy in the middle plane seat, wish me luck
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I’m not a *regular* white-woman-under-35-writing-a-memoir, I’m a *cool* white-woman-under-35-writing-a-memoir
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Can you believe this kids have been together long enough to watch all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls AND the reunion special?
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@WedgeJonathan
my first impulse was to read this as implying that I don’t normally put thought into gifts, which is deeply offensive where I come from, but then I realized it would be very Internet and uncharitable of me to do that
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Please join me in wishing this precious compassionate and sexy boi a very special start to his Jesus year.
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Went in for stool sample collection today and I really could not give a shit 😐
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Anyone else panicking about a deadline that you could easily meet if you stopped panicking about it?
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Did any other sheltered kids spend later years “catching up” on the pop culture they didn’t experience?
At this point I’ve Mandela-effected my way into believing that I grew up listening to 90s pop, because I’ve faked the nostalgia for so long.
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Deconstruction check!
Type “I believe that God…” and let predictive text finish it.
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The number on the scale today was the highest I’ve seen in my entire life.
I weighed 25lbs less than this a few years ago, while on a juice cleanse my ex suggested I do. I was miserable during the cleanse & most of the relationship. I thought a scale could measure my worthiness.
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On this most fraught of Mondays, I just got my first big-deal essay acceptance 🥹
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@sewistwrites
Sure, but then Rory goes on to fully internalize everyone else’s belief in her perfection and become an entitled adult. 32-year-old Rory is significantly less mature than 32-year-old Lorelai.
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What’s the correct reaction when your hosts casually mention the pet raccoon in their bedroom?
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Happy Mother’s Day to y’all from someone who thinks the whole prospect of having/raising kids sounds lowkey terrifying. Like, they strip you of so much autonomy and in the process gain their own?? Rude.
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Inside of me there are two wolves.
One is me becoming my mom, and one is me becoming my dad.
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When Dylan Thomas said “rage, rage against the dying of the light” he was talking about Daylight Savings ending
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Just took a bite of something I didn’t realize was moldy…does anyone know how much longer I have to live?
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@racheljwelcher
You say you learned a few things, but it appears that “I made an authoritative blanket statement about something I don’t fully understand” was not one of them. You don’t need to speak/be an authority on this just because you have a big following. It’s ok to ask questions instead.
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Do I know anyone who buys clothes at Costco? Despite being such a Costco stan overall I’ve never even looked at their clothing.
I’m wondering if I have some kind of ingrained mental block that it’s just not *proper* to buy shirts the same place I buy steaks.
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@lbatc2_lou
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice I've been turning over in my mind ever since. Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, he told me, just remember all the people in this Four Seasons Total Landscaping haven't had the advantages you've had.
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Tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day of looking cute (and why didn’t I save mine for my first in-person school day tomorrow)
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