oda 澹雅
@ghastlymilf
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☭ ML-MZT | not for the faint of heart. 中文/en - OK!
she/her/她
Joined October 2020
my transphobic neighbor just moved out, his wife had been feeding the same local stray for about nine years and he took over when she died of covid two years ago. i asked him if i could take over for him feeding the cat now that he left, and he came over and cried on my shoulder.
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you get in a car crash.>fall unconscious.>you are taken to the closest hospital.>its a catholic hospital.>they can refuse care for religious reasons.>the religious reasons: you are transsexual.>you die.
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this man used to mean-mug me whenever he saw me and misgender me easily twice as often. but when i offered to do something kind for him his heart melted and he showed me a vulnerable side of him that i'd never seen before. he gendered me properly for the first time as he left.
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increasingly i feel like the way out of transphobia is going to be unearned kindness, to others but also to yourself. i am reminded of this today.
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this is how tyra hunter died for those of you who don't know, she died a completely preventable death due to bigotry from everyone in the chain of care from the first responders to the emergency room staff.
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i saw "dressed in blue" recently at an LGBTQ film festival and the audience laughed when the trans women who were sex workers talked about being put in men's prisons.
i came back from my local nosferatu screening, and the most horrific part was the reaction of the audience. i think that, in part, the philistinism of today is a symptom of people not knowing how to react appropriately in front of a piece of art. laughing at poignant scenes.
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@killerma you're right, but organized western christianity hasn't been about jesus since like the first council of nicaea. these people have tried to defeat every social movement of the past century, all while defending pedophilia. whatever they claim to represent, it isnt justice.
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the quality italian chaser video
Show us that video you can never delete from your gallery no matter what it is….
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not even nonbinary people will change their name to newt because of newt gingrich. you bet your ass if he never existed there would be so many newts running around.
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i dont care what you think when you look at pictures of me, people clock me, if not initially - eventually. i dont pass. ive gotten two rounds of ffs, vfs, etc. it you are the person i am hoping is reading this, you might think "if that happened to me it would be over".
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break a desire to pass down into its base parts and you're usually left with a longing to be respected, safety from violent or unsafe people, and the freedom from dysphoric self-loathing. i'll try to address some of these concerns line by line.
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and truthfully i did get depressed for a while. it can feel hollow to go through so much pain and heartache to still not be seen. but thats not the point.
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respect from strangers:.i cant tell you how to get it but i can tell you that the more you embody yourself and look for ways to actualize your goals and dreams, the more people will look up to you and want to be a part of your success.
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@Wombat849 a year before i started meaningfully transitioning, but a month after i came out, my second oldest friend said, ."wow. really? congratulations, i'm so happy for you. i've always wanted to fuck a ------, maybe you could come over sometime when my roommate isnt home" .🙃.
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thanks for reading this far, i love you!. i dont think you should give up wanting to pass if you do, but i do think you should detach yourself from the outcome of it.
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but thats not what we're talking abt when we talk abt respect wrt passing. what a lot of people dont realize is that you can be varyingly clockable and still avoid getting misgendered for the most part if your presentation is consistently oriented to your own internal vision.
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getting misgendered constantly grinds you down, you need to be built back up by something - and surrounding yourself with people who love you is so important for this. i need my social circle to be a sanctuary and honor me even when i havent shaved, done my makeup, or my hair.
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a final thought i will add is this:. a lot of trans people assign their self worth to how well they pass as their gender, placing their most critical self evaluation in the unwashed and uncaring hands of strangers.
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and whether or not surgery is a part of your transition, you should be doing it for you. attempting to sublimate to c!s normativity is going to burn you out eventually. but in truth? be as aggressive as you need to be to achieve your peace.
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whatever period of your transition you find yourself in, but especially for newly-out people, you need to intentionally create an environment for yourself where people dont misgender you either at home or with your friends.
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when it comes to your safety, you can follow a couple general tips i've come to know for myself. travel with people as often as possible. always carry legal self defense tools, like pepper spray, in your pocket. train with it, so if you need it you arent fumbling around.
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look people in the eyes if they stare at you, but be mindful of your facial expression. dont stare back, but do make it clear you arent afraid and wont be intimidated. you arent an MMA fighter (probably) and youll be running away from most conflicts, so learn to spot your exits.
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and listen, dysphoria can become a quieter feeling if you have access to the healthcare you need. but if you havent examined the environment you're transitioning in, it will always suffer.
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theres something to be said for not getting clocked - or being gendered correctly & effortlessly - it's great. really makes you feel like you passed a skill check. but the perceptions of other people are fickle. the dolls will tell you they get clocked less outside of the city.
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@twinkywilliams @sofiabuffgf you saw "pathetic ungrateful loser" and answered the call, thank you for your service sir.
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@gaynarcan every right wing party everywhere is supported by people who think it will never affect them personally.
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the response to this has been a little overwhelming. to everyone saying smth i said helped made an impact, thank you. i really think we deserve the world, and things can and do often get better, even if they dont look like what we thought they would.
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someone really called me "deeply unserious" last night for saying that what initially drew me to marxism and left wing politics was a deep and resounding love and desire to help people. she wanted my number after!.help!.
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@twinkywilliams @sofiabuffgf oh okay, i'll gender you properly. proportionally, how much time would you say you spend out of your day, looking at your phone in an empty apartment?.
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@EARTHGHOSTPURRP i dont doubt that people are exaggerating but i shrunk a shoe size and an inch, and this person's cope or your cope isnt going to make me or anyone else larger again lmao.
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no idea what any of this means but hearing a crowd go apeshit for a tw is so soulfood.
SIX PERFECT DARTS!. Sensational from Noa-Lynn van Leuven, who fires in back-to-back 180s on her way to saving the match!. 📺 .#WCDarts | R1
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hi everyone. thanks for the kind responses to this and for following along. so many of the interactions i have on this cursed website are negative, so this was really special. if you're new here, drop a comment so i can follow you back.
my transphobic neighbor just moved out, his wife had been feeding the same local stray for about nine years and he took over when she died of covid two years ago. i asked him if i could take over for him feeding the cat now that he left, and he came over and cried on my shoulder.
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@cervixpiercer this is a cute post, but you're going to be hard pressed asking women to make each other uncomfortable on purpose. the whole reason people go to lesbian bars is to escape that. straight women who go to lesbian bars are usually unphased getting hit on by other women.
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@topmanhater no. its because radical feminism is always right wing bullshit from right wing women who say racist shit. the fact that you con minorities into this divine feminine clap is not "black friending" your way out of this one. laying in shit and surprised you're covered in fleas.
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@plaidpervert thats fucked. was at cubbyhole somewhat recently and a woman came up to me and said, "what are your pronouns? he/him?". the vibes in that place are just evil.
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and the police protect food from starving children
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@DestinyAuroraAD sorry it took me a while to respond to you. i did laser hair removal for a few years and now i'm switching to electrolysis, thats generally the order you want to do things in. check out this chart to know what kind of laser to ask for at your consultation, (diode is a safe bet)
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whenever i see or meet someone with a negative opinion of trans people
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@MaxelleTalena @garlic_wife i remember swiping right on you forever ago but i dont pay for tinder so its like throwing quarters in a well.
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this is an example of a smith college problem. (sampling bias). mapping your personal social circumstances onto a wider demographic of people with a generalization is usually seen as myopic and illiterate, but if the people you're targeting are a minority, its allowed.
ngl starting to come around to the idea that there's a social pressure to be poly in trans circles.
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@RueCodey thanks for your phrasing here,.this is exactly what trans people and nonbinary people specifically have been fighting to easily articulate for a while.
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@BLEHMODER this is a nice sentiment but i don't know if "building up a community" is enough to insulate you from a trump presidency. i think the reality is a lot of us are going to have our surgeries canceled and our healthcare coverage revoked.
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this is so corny but honestly the sweetest thing thats ever happened. she deadnamed me to my face the last time i saw her and we didnt talk for over a year. thats my mom btw.
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@t34doll if u remember, hannibal lector clearly states that buffalo bill is not a transsexual but a trans trender.
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@garlic_wife @MaxelleTalena i almost matched with this person on tinder! lot of cool tattoos, i wonder how they'd feel being in this meme.
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@goofxist what?.people malign boomers because of their broad class status and exclusionary politics. zoomers being easier targets for radicalization and information isolation doesnt change that.
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@cubano_sucio lol no way dude. there's so much expected of western women to perform that men are exempt from any sort of lateral alternative. the deck is severely stacked.
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even communist-led countries from over half a century ago treated transsexual people better than any capitalist-led country, then or now.
very political take, but tranfems should recognize that capitalism is good for us, and gives us with the ability to provide for ourselves and our community. We are very capable workers, and can create amazing things, and be fairly paid for our work. This is already the case.
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i feel myself looking at pictures of murdered trans women from the lens of "maybe she just didn't pass well enough" and i know thats sick, but she did. its not about passing, these insane fascists will kill us all given the opportunity, regardless of what we look or sound like.
a remarkable, beautiful, and intelligent woman. i hope to honour her memory forever.
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@girlofswords i'm a non-passing trans woman and i wish they wouldn't lump me in lol. people can clearly tell what i've got going on.
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just kind of goes to show how politically illiterate even your talking heads are, kill the heroes in your head, etc.
@gaynarcan He’s expanded Title IX protections, restored prohibitions on discrimination in healthcare. What are you talking about.
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@dykeloverboy @plaidpervert i chatted to someone outside after it happened who turned out to be the manager. they admitted to me that they know the bar has a reputation for being the place terfs hang out in and they claim to want to change it, but arent willing to just put a sign up that says "no terfs".
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wowee, insurance just approved my breast augmentation. i might be the first government-sponsored transsexual.
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finding 🏳️⚧️ accounts that have me blocked in comment sections is funny, they always have some sort of wacky name and no hormones.
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just know that i'm not always nice on the internet!. i'm not a perfect person and i put my foot in my mouth all the time. if you really dont like something im saying, tell me! i'm a reflection of all the people who have ever loved me, and that means being open to being wrong too.
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@RBForrest @JillianChili hey i don't know if anyone has ever told you this before but your worldview is insane. mental health has nothing to do with feminism! and insinuating a woman needs a man to be happy, you sound like you fell out of a really old boring book.
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@MuddledLohse yes the problem is clearly that she is wielding her power and platform irresponsibly, not that she has it at all, you are dumb.
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new rule: you cannot hit if you do not embrace the immortal science of marxism leninism.
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@mahudude trans guy chasers are real as hell and scary. everybody always talks abt chasers like theyre just DL bigoted fetishists and not like they are would-be murderers, hell no. 🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️.
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hard not to see the wisconsin shooter as the inevitable conclusion of terf ideology. every transphobe is vicious in their self-hatred, more than they hate trans people. and when they groom kids into believing in their ideology, people get killed.
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just finished a fifteen page research paper and submitted it ten seconds before the deadline, can i get a hell yeah oda.
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@nrduford this same account tried to claim that they are a trans woman as well as a trans man because they're intersex. hard to really pin down the underlying ideology here aside from deflection and obfuscation.
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the thing about being a trans woman is you will say,."this is my experience".and someone will say, no it isn't. you'll even go on to say,."no i know other trans women who've experienced this too".and they'll say, no they don't.
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started my first day of queer theory class yesterday, there are three trans women in the class - two normal and one reddit.
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@MuddledLohse your conception of political power is "people giving each other things" which is probably why you're being weird and looking for model minorities.
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@sidhe_her "wanting to pass is not good" is such a tell from people with none of what we in the business call "RLE".
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not very inspiring that the response to social chauvinism is immediate capitulation instead of literally anything else.
I spoke with the chairman of the Texas Democratic Party today about yesterday’s losses. He brought up transgender rights. Here’s what he said. #txlege #LGBT #LGBTQ #Election2024
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@pacifistycuffs @cervixpiercer really? thats not my experience at all. ran into a few straight women at dyke bars and they all seem relatively with it, get mildly flattered by attention but mostly seem to be +1s of their queer friends and just happy to be invited to hang.
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tapping the sign so hard my fingers start to bleed, then crying, then begging, then getting angry. then calmly beginning preparations to smuggle weapons into the UK.
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@irlkimmansion @venusian_doll it's not terf rhetoric to say that gay men trying to hide behind a facade of femininity are being misogynistic. you are basically harassing a trans woman with these comments. calling trans women terfs just bc you disagree with them is also misogynistic.
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not really sure what to say. "i told you so" doesnt feel right, so i'll say this instead. if you were one of the people planning on pushing kamala left, you're going to need to do something else. in the coming days, you will need to be resilient, kind, and strong.
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@w0kesolanas i said this months ago and lost a friend over it. what are we doing, collectively, to ensure we are not burning out a generation of really motivated and passionate people?.
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@lllliatttt brats are like a tutorial for how to force a CNC fetish onto other people while being as annoying as possible about it.
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ask for your therapy notes. i just found out my non-binary now ex-therapist was misgendering me behind my back 👍.
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@ChunqiaoPub i dont think its fair to say that the PRC is a dictatorship of the bourgeoisie, chinese bourgeoisie are subordinate to the CPC. xi jinping is following in the footsteps of people like deng xiaoping and stalin, who both believed material freedom comes from needs being met.
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starting to think the immortal science of marxism-leninism as told by a polyamorous transsexual is probably the closest thing to godliness.
Thanks to estrogen, I now only engage in power dynamics and fetishes that are equitable in all respects, good for optics, and poll well with key demographics.
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@CISFAKER the choker is kind of funny because every trans woman owns that exact kind, but zooming in on her crop top as something thats not "age appropriate" is a little weird. whether you like it or not lol, plenty of women dress like her.
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@marcus_herve appeasing a reactionary population to stay in power is right-opportunism. you can grandstand all you like about 'kicking out colonizers' but when your policy goals mirror white western family values, you are just saying that you are vulnerable to western right-wing propaganda.
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the cynicism that ppl have, particularly boomers, about their pets is actually very unnerving. to let your pet get progressively sicker to the point of dying bc you deem its healthcare non-essential is a microcosm for how those same ppl treat and look at the poor and destitute.
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trans kids deserve a normal puberty w their peers. making a child take hormone blockers for years until they're allowed to start transitioning is based only in cissupremacy and cruelty and it developmentally delays them.
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