Enyinnaya
@enyinna_
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Nwoke Ehugbo. Lawyer, writer, classic eleganceš„
Joined May 2021
If you tell a Nigerian that they're wrong on something, they'll do a research, not on whether they're wrong or right, but on whether they're richer than you.
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Nigerian men get really rational when it's a man asking them for money.
Someone comes to me, wants to loan N300k to set up his wife for a POS business. Ok. Sounds good. I ask, how much did it cost you to do your wedding last year? He said N1.7m. Ok. How much do you earn per year? N720k/year fixed. Cool. So you used your salary for over 2 years.
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When a man shows awareness of his value and takes steps to not be exploited, it upsets narcissistic women and timid men. But they veil their disturbance and envy with mockery. Let me ask: How's someone who already approached a woman scared of rejection?.
When I meet a lady who catches my eye, I don't ask for her number. Instead, I give her mine and tell her to text me. May sound funny and It's not about being proud or forming āalpha maleā, it's just about respecting my time. If she's really interested, she'll reach outā¦.
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Last week, I met one of the most beautiful girls ever. She'd said she's bad at texting. I guess she did her bit, but I don't know how to feel like an option. Yesterday, I texted to tell her I'll be backing off. She said she understands, too. And that was it.
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I truly wish West Africa was prosperous.
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I have no interest in the richness or poorness of the woman I'll choose to marry. But you see, class, style, grace, abundance, and a penchant for risk, curiosity, and adventure are non-negotiable.
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You're envious, but in a funny way. Like the class bully who's overgrown but still wears an undersized shirt, 'cos his family will rather pretend he's an infant knowing his mind is stunted.
"Hey everyone, look at how mature I am handling rejection. Yaay me".
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A little unrelated, but I've turned down a lot of pretty and decent girls who made the first move on me, 'cos they didn't have any substance. I'm sure they'll be the type to say, "I'm a good girl, I should get it." But you can be good and pretty, but you're boring as hell.
Better shoot your shot and do it properly ācause I donāt read signs.
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You know why she had the guts to do that? 'Cos if the man had declined, another man will step in to show he's a "bigger man." You know why he didn't decline, 'cos he wants to show himself? He's timid as hell, like a lot of Nigerian men. But on Twitter, it's "fear women.".
She caught the bouquet and was asked to pick her spec from the crowd šš
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She's right. But the part she didn't addāthe part women don't often seeāis, beyond finance, men have to manage women's emotions. So, imagine doing these and still managing the emotions of another person. She's annoyed, sad, excited, wants to play, wants to be alone, in a day.
Iāll say this. Im 27 with a salary job, yet I struggle to pay rent, car note, insurance & all my other expenses. Now imagine someone expecting me to pay theirs as well & dates, buy gifts & if I donāt then I get blasted for ānot being a man.ā I wouldnāt wanna date as a man either.
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Guys have told me not to reveal to any babe that I still use the bus. But I do. Someone even told me to change my Samsung to an iPhone 'cos it compliments my status. I'd have read an insult into it if I didn't know them. It's an insult to my essence to posture for anyone. Anyone.
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If he's wealthy and good-looking, she'll call. If he's only wealthy, she'll call. If he's the hot guy at the momentāpeople are talking about himāshe'll call. If he's that and married, she'll call and add that she's not interested in married men, but that they can just be friends.
The funny thing about the whole phone number convo is that it's just triggering for me. Because person don do am for my babe that year and she actually called. š.
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Lots of Naija women bore me to shits. My messages are full of texts that stopped 'cos I chose not to settle for a beautiful mute, who has no true excitement, passion, or thrill. One who can hardly give an explanation of something that lifts her spirit. Yet, expects desire.
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I liked her enough to be tweeting this shortly after it's happened. Even though I'd deleted her contact at the time of her last response. She looked sweet. She probably is. I hope to be that attracted to someone in future. Until then.
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@Iam_themmie 1. A man knows the opportunity costs of approaching or dating women. Of course, more than women do. 'Cos, they don't date themselves. So, he devises what works best for him. (Do you approach or date women?). 2. An explanation you don't agree with isn't "faux logic." That's not.
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Be extremely competent at what you do, live within your means, socialize frequently, and engage in your hobbies.
@enyinna_ How do I find good womenš.
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Those who said she's not into me are likely correct. For those who chastise me for letting her know I'm out: If you invest more in being tough than in showing how tough you are, you'll find out that rejection isn't much of a big deal. I don't really have anything to prove.
Last week, I met one of the most beautiful girls ever. She'd said she's bad at texting. I guess she did her bit, but I don't know how to feel like an option. Yesterday, I texted to tell her I'll be backing off. She said she understands, too. And that was it.
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Women hate men with low self-esteem but love their utility in making them look superior to other men and women or valuable to the one man they want. It's like using tiny fishes as bait to catch one big fish. A timid man is a tiny fish.
This thing dey pain women like mad š¤£š¤£. Na men with low self-esteem Una dey like, make e dey use en time and money dey chase Una up n down, lmaooo.
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People say he's been used. I don't dispute it. But why are women often cruel to men they're using? Like, aren't they supposed to be nice to the men?.
Paid her bills yesterday forgot her coffee this morning now she got a attitude lol yea no.
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Wen boys say make we drop funds, na dat time we dey remember Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
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The media made girls think love "just happens." You have to actively and carefully put in effort to ensure you find someone. In the past, your family assisted you. Now, many want a man to sweep them off their feet, and it's often at a huge expense. Let's see how it goes.
Girl to girl : .Itās okay if you didnāt find love in Uni and NYSC .Nothing is wrong with you, take your time š«ā¤ļø.
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I don't think him spending 1.7 million on that once in a lifetime event defines his financial management skills. Sometimes, people need that one grand thing to spice up their lives. Not spending it would likely not make him better off.
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Feminists look at men in the same way children look at adults. The only difference is that children eventually find out.
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@AjeboDanny Haha, thanks. I'm bad at texting too. But the way I follow up, shows that I still give a damn about how the other person feels.
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@willzSzn00 Then, it's fine if you'll not call someone who approached you. That's the trade off he's ready to make.
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Social media apps ask, "What's happening?/What's on your mind?" Someone tweets something away from the usual negativity on your TL, but you had to put some bs on it. 'Cos, a pig always finds his way to the dirt.
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Even worse are the girls who equate fun and excitement to sex and degeneracy. You really can't with those ones. Spend one afternoon with them after the club, and you'll feel the sadness in the atmosphere.
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Besides, people in comfort forget the financial anxiety that comes with being in constant lack. People in constant struggle are most likely to misuse money 'cos they overthink it, lack structure, and then make wrong bets. Financial planning, in some respect, is a privilege.
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I purposely ask people what their hobbies are, if they've gone through an adventure, if they've done naughty things, 'cos however they react to these questions are a fair judgment of who they are.
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I wrote that the world is a battleground of conflicting interests, and people use what they have to get what they want. Men readily use physical violence but it's not evidence that they're more capable of evil, 'cos women have their own leverages. But yeah, "Men are evil" sells.
Calling area boys to beat someone for me is still on my bucket list and it must happen.
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BS. You're supposed to protect women of whom you're in affinityādaughters, sisters, mothers, romantic partners, and friends. Not "women." The society men set to protect women are the same ones women held a duty to. In this society, the justice system must protect everyone.
Some of you are very daft, I swear. Women are protesting that they should stop killing them. Youāre telling them itās not about gender or theyāre not the only people getting killed. Forget all this talk yāall have here, weāre meant to protect our women as men, it is how we.
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I sometimes explain to men about the women I've loved, and they found it unreal. Men did it allādates, pimping, spending, sex. They never thought a woman could just be interesting. They never thought you could just enjoy a woman. I mean, to just really like her. Not her body.
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She knows. She only claims ignorance when her own plans don't fall through.
That UK guy texting you now is cultivating you for December harvestš„.
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If you think a 26 year old accountant is useless for being with a 20 year old student, you're a dead guy.
You canāt be a working class with over 4years experience and still be going to Unilag to look for babe. You are useless and Iāll always judge you.
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@Winifunds I thought about this. I also thought they could consider an alternative and communicate it.
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I criticise Naija men and Niaja women, but I will hardly do is: join Naija men in criticising Niaija women for their ways. 'Cos, I know Naija men. Oh, I know them so well. The women are a clear reflection of the loosers that approach them daily.
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Law doesn't start and end with criminal justice. But, the administration of criminal justice (like separation of powers) is a significant test for how strong institutions of a country areāor how "lawful" a country is.
genuine question, I'm not trying to be rude at all. I'm just curious. but how does it feel to study and practice law in a country bent on being lawless?.
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You can be defensive about allegations laid against you. You can't defend the crimes of another person. Many men (and women) here will beat shege in a man who kills if he's in their neighbourhood. But don't burden people with the need to perform virtue, anytime, a story trends.
Put that ānot all menā effort into condemning the wicked acts of some men. Please, itās not time to be defensive.
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Luckily, I have the type of personality that takes care of situations. There's hardly an awkwardness around me. I could spill a drink on my outfit and keep talking to a crowd while helping myself clean it. I don't mind my steps. I'm not "careful." I just do my thing.
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They find it cute, and there are lots of memes about how a man doesn't love you if he doesn't constantly cave to your whims. It's all funny until someone says, "Women are emotional." From then onwards, that person becomes Hitler.
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You can be. All you need are friends or influencers who make you feel bad for coming from a great home. Then, you start to make dumb decisions and feel smarter than your siblings. When the consequences of such decisions start coming, it validates your new dumb worldview.
you can never become an angry, senseless feminist if your dad treats you this way š.
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I'm not oblivious to the status games needed to achieve specific causes. But I don't currently find most objectives worthy enough. I find that the things I truly need don't demand preposterous compromises. Let a man live.
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When I want something, I do what I can to get itāwithout loosing myself. If I get it, awesome. If I don't, cool; also, knowing well that I could get something and realise that it isn't for me. It's always all good. I hardly "feel a loss" or feel embarrassed.
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I don't have a tough framework with women. I often triple text, I send VNs, I express myself, I don't keep scores, etc. If she's not down for what I'm after, I leave. And I often know this soon enough. My main priority is my well-being first, not how I appear to others.
If you blocked her, she won, and you lost.
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"Bring real lovers back." But I expressed myself to you, and you took screenshots.
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I noticed that lady blocked me, and I appreciate her sentiment. No beef, but I'd often criticised the feel-good bs she sells to African girls. People can't adopt the views of a rich Western influencer who wants the consequences of her personal choices to be their standard.
If youāre doing LDR, Just camp on at Tonitoneās page on IG. Itāll help you a lot.
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When people find someone who appeals to their fantasy, they go crazy pouring affection on the person without giving connection time to develop. I hate when they call this "love".
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If I dm a girl and she comes online to "expose" me, I'll just dm another one. This "I no go ever dm girl for my life" ish is weak. What could I possibly be ashamed of? Thinking I might like a girl? C'mon now.
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I don't complain about the dating market or "the streets" 'cos I'm not actively searching. For the same reason, I don't generalise a nasty attitude of a woman to be of all women. I know how to find good girls. Until then, whatever bs I get from the streets is a result of my lust.
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A young man needs to be a little reckless, then learn from his recklessness, then build models and principles off them as he gets older. This is why I can't "red pill" my child early. He must make mistakes. He must be a little stupid. He must regret.
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Alexandra the Great would have laughed at the frontal lobe talk as he set off with his army at 18. But you know who else would have? Jesus, Arsitotle, Joan of Arc, Buddha, and pretty much most people of history. But now, there are wokies and their funny interpretation of science.
Once her frontal lobe develops itās going to be crazy in that house because the way resentment will want to kill her ehnn.
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I have a very short time on earth, so I must do as I like without being a burden to anyone.
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I'm not one to pride myself in not needing anyone. I've always had my own peopleāI think. This makes me somewhat lucky. Yet Iāve found it betterāhealthierāto only yearn for a feeling, an essence, over an individual. So, if you care for intimacy, you should crave intimacy, as.
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If you're not really feeling me, you can walk away. I might be confused at first if you don't update me, but once I figure out, I'll respect your decision. It gets relieving, to be let to be.
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This even highlights more, the danger of telling girls, "boys are your enemies." But the fools are too far gone. When Boys internalise that girls hate themāwhich is starting to happen nowāthey go into attack mode. "Men just want to hurt women" is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Itās not feminism thatās missing in Afghanistan. There is feminism but it is toothless because it exists in the absence of male benevolence.
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Nigeria is a culture of scarcity and lack, lowliness and oppresiveness, heartbreaks, and punishment for just existing. Our hunan condition is such that we mostly feel bad about ourselves. So men & women do reprehensible things to feel good at the expense of reason & decency.
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Do not think that Naija men make grand gestures for women just to sleep with them. Most make these gestures for a little attention from the woman and to feel superior to the other man. If you closely observe Naija men and Naija women, you won't think any is better.
buying somebodyās babe bouquet sef some of you men are worse then the devil.
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@Wizarab10 Write a letter to the scholarship board imploring them to extend/defer your scholarship. Explain the situation to them. Be formal, but sober. And do your 1 year. You'll be 24 when you're done.
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Growing up is knowing that when a girl talks about how she's "dying of singleness" or craves intimacy on the internet, you don't dm her. And if you're doing that, you stop abruptly.
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@NosikeOtito I mean, why ask for 300k with your mouth when you can do a PowerPoint to explain that you've been a bad boy with money?.
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Haha I was mocked by men for expecting a lady to communicate with me. Not to jump on me, not to kiss me, not to go out with me; just to respond to messages the way I'm responsing to yours. That's where we are now. I look at men in silence and sigh. Tomorrow, they'll blame women.
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So, I get it when even strangers tell me several lowkey things 'cos they know I won't look at them differently. It's just it lol. I already think deeply about the things that matter to me. I'm shallow with the rest.
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People who need these explanations to know that Nigerians are poor are irredeemably stupid. Unless they don't have eyes. Look at the cars on the roads, the buildings, the clothes people wear, their shoes, and even salaries advertised. Do they signal comfortable living?.
Some people received their first allowee and used it to pay loans they took to come to camp , my experiences have shaped how I see things, Nigeria is too poor fr .
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Now consider that there are many mem who romanticise their distress with "marry first" bants. One of my most comical observations is how the Nigerian man integrates his inferiority complex with masculine braggado.
Most women will glorify stressing their husbands and think it's cute that he is silently tolerating it. When they themselves can't take half of the stress without nagging him out.
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@jayythedope For example if a lady plans with her friends to drug a guy and have sex with him, you can't report rape. But there can be:. Sexual assault,.Conspiracy to commit it,.Unlawful possession of hard drugs (or any law that bans drugs);. Dat kine thing sha, but not "Rape".
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Dickson speaks of how Naija men need not drain themselves in expenses. True. But what I see is men spending 'cos they're scared of rejection. They do all and all to get a "sure Yes." It's the fragile ego. So, when they mocked me for being rejected, I understood. If it were them,.
Haha I was mocked by men for expecting a lady to communicate with me. Not to jump on me, not to kiss me, not to go out with me; just to respond to messages the way I'm responsing to yours. That's where we are now. I look at men in silence and sigh. Tomorrow, they'll blame women.
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From Primary 3 to law school, I came to class only 40% of the time. Sometime, in JSS, they concluded I'll be killed by cultists in Uni. In SS2, someone nick-named me NFA (No Future Ambition). I've prolly never lost an argument in a courtroom. I take people's girlfriends for fun.
Throughout my Uni I didnāt know what was happening academically. I had parallel F results 60% of the times. I re-sat at least 60% of my courses. I managed to finish. I never felt like a failure. I didnāt get depressed. I wasnāt worried. My value and esteem is innately grounded.
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If you're out for equal standards, then you should naturally want men who never think of their future family and only live for themselves. See how that plays out.
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During the world wars, some men stayed in the trenches, hiding for days, and urinated on themselves to keep warm. Some came home injured to meet a deserted home; their love letters sealed. They picked themselves up. But today, some men think a failed woo is humiliating. Jesus.
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Dickson rightly criticises materialistic leeches, and many of you men sheer him. But when he says you can cultivate intimacy and community without richness, the same you who should promote that message attack him. Just look at yourself: How cute? Aren't you so beautifully stupid?.
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I get it when girls find their square root when I don't act the way other men do. I'm not even special. I've just grown to see the culture Nigerian men have created regarding women. And I don't fit in.
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He's paying for your date, he's responsible for your safety, and prolly your transport if he as to pick and drop you; but you need more and more. Lol, if you wonder why men aren't down for commitment, this is it. Any real G who does this has commercialised you in his head.
A guy bringing nothing for you on your first date says a lot about him.
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It's a misconception that style & class must come with having means. My mum raised us in a face-me-I-face-you away from her "privileged" family. Yet, our hand-picked family friends in the hood were folks who had considerable self-esteem and lived with some level of decency. 1/.
Donāt style , class , grace , and abundance come from experience with means?.
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When people play games with me, I often don't try to match their energy or "show them." I just pull out my emotional and material investment and let them "win" or whatever.
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I'll be in my comfort and write my observations, and weak idiots who will come and say bullshit in my mentions of how harsh my tone is. "You must be sad," bla bla bla. They know the society they partake in is rubbish, but they hate to be conscious of the role they play in it.
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Before Valentine didn't trend until February. But now everyone is running away from themselves, and looking for the next high. Detty December to Valentine; no rest, just noise and consumerism.
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Too many shallow folks in the comment think domestic chores are limited to cooking. But when you go to the average home, the father is cleaning cars, generators, changing wires, fixing one appliance or furniture with a toolbox. When you can't think of anything beyond yourself.
Lmao, I pity you people. We are in 2024 and the only way to achieve financial stability as a married couple or family is a double income household. None of that Iām the head of the family bullshit, everybody will and must contribute a quota to the family finances. Sure fire way.
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It's disgusting when a man wants to ask a woman out, and he says, "Can we be friends? Don't you know what friendship is? So Timid and Nigerian.
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@A_Abby_Abi It's a measure of how intense and how frequently. But even beyond the question of who is more emotional and who isn't, men have no incentive to express their emotions frequently to women. 'Cos, it kills sexual attraction. And sex is something men want frequently in comparison.
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"Money he didn't plan for," "Women are entitled." Lol, all of una dey craze.
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In real time, it's not even "ordered," it's a simple tell, and she accepts 'cos she considers him a leader. They may have a back-&-forth before or after. You wouldn't understand 'cos feminism is a power play. It's having your way by outrageously preconcieved victimhood. Silly.
Iāve a theory that women who can be ordered by their spouses have swallowed the lie that somehow, husbands are more sensible. So theyāve outsourced their thinking, submitting to the manās authority. Meanwhile heās an ordinary human, clueless af. Probably foolish. Sigh.
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There are thousands of white collar girls between the ages of 24 and 29, working in Lagos Island, Ikoyi, VI, and Lekki, who will say yes, if a financial stable guy ask for their hands in marriage.
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My street perspective is: I don't think the girl needed 12k for payment. Girls going to a man's house to eat, chill, and have sex, is inherently fun for them. Especially if his house is big boy ish by Naija standards. The "payment" is an extra, just-in-case they don't enjoy it.
The fraud and infidelity arenāt your concern, your real problem is that 12k is too small. š¤·āāļø.We are never going to make it as a people.
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@jayythedope They won't. It's not a crime under Nigerian law. But if he can connect with state prosecutors (through or without police) they might find a charge under Sexual Assualt.
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@jayythedope Men can not be raped under Nigerian law. Our criminal code hasn't changed much in 100 years. Legislators will prolly laugh if you clamour for changes on this. So if there's rape, have your lawyer find other crimes in the act (tho usually with lesser sentences).
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For a decade, you said, "Do not judge," "stop shaming," "no money, no feelings." Now, you see people boasting about patronising prostitutes, and you're asking, "How did we get here?" Don't you just laugh when you look at the mirror?.
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Children think adults have money 'cos they see a little more than what they have with adults. But they become adults and realise things like Pillows, Curtains, Bulbs, wires, and paint, don't just come with the house. And life is a little more complex.
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In your quest to gain wisdom and knowledge, don't assume knowing something that others don't know is enough evidence that you'll become successful. The person easiest for us to trick is ourselves.
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They'll ignore the fact that all the men around them are disposable for the sake of the women and children around them. But will pick men's relative sexual freedom, or "ability to be out late," as a point for agitation. Like greedy brats.
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Loosing attraction for them when they pay attention to you, 'cos beneath, you don't rate yourself enough to think people of value can find you worthy. So you punish them for it before searching for the next dreamy excitement to manifest your damaged self-esteem & purposelessness.
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@cviathavibe You might need to avoid establishing depth with the men you're meeting until you find the ones capable of leading you into it, effortlessly, and by themselves. If they don't lead you into it, you'll exhaust yourself, and might be exploited easily. Be shallow and open, for now.
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You're an educated woman your concern should be whether he's wrong or right. You're disingenous in the same childish way many of your types are. If you cared about an answer to your question, you'll dm him.
Why are you always at the helm of topics like this. You go the extra mile for it. Iām genuinely curious.
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I like food, I'm not a foodie. I'm orderly. It's not OCD. I like conversations. Not "networking" events. Don't use "nyansh" or "boobs" to describe a woman I'm dating. It's forced and vulgar. I'm not going to give your small updates on my relationship. Let me be.
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I don't have a business with both parties. But I'll say as a side-looker, this is why I don't rate Nigerian men's "game" or Nigerian dating culture. It's pretty much having money, generator, car, or being a "senior"; little intimacy or true attraction, mostly opportunism.
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I love to write about life, leisure, first principles, and style. My writings are often decorated with pictures showcasing my love for classic style (elegance, music, and art) and Golden Age Hollywood. Here's a list of my writings (let me know which you love most!):.
I should be sharing my pieces on Twitter.
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