Soho Hank
@elusivecurrent
Followers
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Following
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Media
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1K
private equity; know the first 50 digits of pi by heart
North of canal
Joined August 2021
My brother and I used to do this except it was so the driver could rip of the bowl on our way home from hockey practice in a Honda Pilot.
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I enjoy running into random people from highschool at the hometown bars and catching up briefly
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Nothing better than having one of your boys come into town for the weekend. It’s like a holiday but you don’t have to go anywhere and all you have to do is get fucked up all weekend.
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The goat, and it’s not particularly close. Ball knowers get it
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Sunday Agenda:. - hit Equinox .- smoke a joint.- bath house with my absolute .- muck a chipotle bowl (brisket).- adderall, celsius .- hit the office to grind (NFL games on the iPad) .- citi bike home .- edible.- dinner (TBD).- watch this new Dune show + S2E1 of silo.
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Lunch: Sweetgreen.Dinner: Chipotle. I could run this lineup Mon-Thurs 52 weeks a year.
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- Wake up (pounding headache).- Consider pulling trig (don’t).- 2 Aleve; 1 pen rip.- Back to sleep .- Wake back up .- Bang out some work.- Rip pen.- Greasy lunch.- Steam room.- Cold shower .- Celsius.- Text the boys & start boozing again. Textbook Saturday morning for Hank today.
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@dickcrumbles Dick, this is a dumbass tweet (assuming it’s not satire). That being said, can confirm from personal experience that valuations on landscaping businesses are fucking insane rn so go get that bag brotha.
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@murrayhillmike Didn’t think it was but seeing some takes on the tl today that made me think otherwise.
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@skanks17 Will die on this hill. Treating political parties like a sports team is disgusting, clown behavior, etc.
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Me and 4 buddies place a $100 parlay every week (everyone who’s legs miss split the 100). It hit for the first time this weekend. Just means more when you’re riding it w your boys. Hank is #happy
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My favorite hobby on this app is treating complete strangers like one of my absolute boys.
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My dad is obsessed with finding the smoke shacks scattered throughout the mtn when we ski. Hates weed, but loves just posting up and pounding beers in these things. Last year he even took an hour long work call from one of them. Geeks me every time but have to respect it
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Ppl using this as an opportunity to “flex” that they don’t use stimulants or drink coffee is hilarious. Stg people who abstain make it more of a personality trait than those that indulge these days. Reminder - we live in a results based world. No pictures on a scorecard.
Young Wall Street bankers snort lines of crushed Adderall pills from their desk to cope with 22-hour work days: report
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Reminder for any IB analysts out there:. In a sell side process, buyers are NOT your client. If a buyer calls you directly, do not answer unless you are extremely comfortable with the data. If you do answer and get asked a Q you don’t know, do NOT try to talk your way out of it.
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And yes, those are mutual connections I’m hiding. Hanks knows people. (they’re all random recruiters slinging trash IB opps).
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@MasterHater420 Also because every sensible Bucks fan should absolutely hate the Celtics and not want them to have any level of success.
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This weeks travel lineup. Tues night: bumfuck WI.Wed night: bumfuck CT.Thurs night: bumfuck PA. The glamor of LMM PE 🥰🥰.
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Hopping on a call is usually better and more efficient than exchanging emails
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My dad does NOT fuck around when it comes to firewood at the ski house. Absolutely stocked for the szn
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Something very sinister about a guy who wears a visible undershirt with a button down.
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Golden Tee in the dispensary waiting area? That’s a nice touch.
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@Siller4 @junesfoshiz You just got worked by a minor. Go kick rocks, clown, maybe you’ll find a ring in the dirt.
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Introducing a 3rd friend to the hang out is crucial. Provides more incremental benefit than any other addition. 4th and 5th you’re still enhancing the hang, but at diminishing returns. 6+ you’re in dilution territory. Questions? Thanks.
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@ChipotleTweets White rice, no beans, steak or chik (game time decision), pico, cheese, lettuce. Simple but reliable.
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Chill if I down two (2) of these guys followed by two (2) to three (3) IPAs?
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*sending a test email to myself after every run to make sure my inbox is updating*
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Next weekend NEEDS to (and will) be strictly oral. NOTHING will be going up these nostrils.
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@CarryDaInterest 3 substances i consume almost every day. Hit me w a block if you have a problem hearing about it. Either way, if you’re gonna try to have a witty response to another one of my tweets, at least make it funny.
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As I am closing in on 1k followers, I want to be very clear to everyone that I won’t be doing any type of “reveal” or even tweeting about it when it does happen. That would imply I care about followers, which I don’t. I barely even noticed that I’m close. Just want to clear.
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Pro tip: Always take out 120 vs 100 so you have a 20 for the lines.
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“Pregame but make it adulting ✨”. Unfortunately this is a real Instagram caption that I just came across. Grown ass woman really typed that out and hit post. Have some shame god dammit.
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Your first 4 lease cycles post-grad is basically college 2.0. Like college, I’ve felt a progressive shift in my friends and i’s vibes / going out preferences over these 4 years. Being in my senior yr, I’m beginning to feel a serious shift in my mindset. Idk how to feel about it.
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How old were you when you learned Guinness is a light beer?.
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@aboveaverage42 Hey Notta, you fucking idiot, maybe take 10 seconds to read through the replies next time? Will see plenty of examples like this, but you’re the one I’m gonna respond because who tf refers to a take as “lukewarm”. Please never respond to or look at another tweet of mine again.
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2025 lining up to be one of the best years for TV in a long time. See below for my thoughts. Lmk if I’m missing anything.
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@LBOVinny Once had a Darden MBA ASO tell me he couldn’t find revenue on a 10-K. It was listed as Sales.
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Oh my god the anger coming out of this tweet is oc. Please calm down people I promise it’s not that serious.
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Friendly reminder - those new quarter zips or fun shirts you copped for Christmas? Leave ‘em in the closet for a week or 2. Can’t be that guy showing up to the office next week or going out w your friends for the 1st time wearing all your gifts right away.
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@bigburn64 When I was baked last night sending the request I thought there was a small chance given my current role. Soberly, I know there’s zero shot.
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@MarkHannaBurner Quality food for sure, but a little too much going on with all the sauces and dips for my liking. Also (at least the location by me) portions feel a little small.
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Chat what do we think about the quarter zip + sport coat combo?. Running it for the first time rn. Can’t decide if it’s the move or nah.
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If you’re the guy at a wedding who takes your tie off and puts it around your head…Please stop attending weddings or any social gatherings.
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Don’t think this is depressing at all, but the way this guy slowly slides his laptop into his backpack every video makes me irrationally angry.
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Always amusing to be reminded that most people I work with are going home to their wife + kids while I’ll be getting high on my couch + watching tv. Gonna really miss this period of my life - just grinding work and having fun. It’s not sustainable but it’s great while it lasts.
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Anyone else have to mail a physical check for rent every month, or am I the only one with a landlord living in the stone age? Absolutely ridiculous.
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@the_P_God When I was interning I had a VP tell me that IB is a blue collar finance job. Didn’t make sense to me at the time but looking back I think there’s a lot of truth to it.
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@tranceandtranq I knew Mike was an addict but were they all referring to that when they said it? Pauly and Vinny???.
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I have officially began my hundo p journey for @circlingbackpod. Started listening in summer ‘21 (haven’t missed any since then). Today I am sorting from oldest to newest and starting the grind. 🫡.
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Unfortunately for my haters, my Sunday just got even better after an exhilarating packers dub. Let’s fucking go. Hope everyone has a great rest of their day. Cheers.
Sunday Agenda:. - hit Equinox .- smoke a joint.- bath house with my absolute .- muck a chipotle bowl (brisket).- adderall, celsius .- hit the office to grind (NFL games on the iPad) .- citi bike home .- edible.- dinner (TBD).- watch this new Dune show + S2E1 of silo.
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These valuations for commercial landscaping companies are insane…should’ve kept with my high school mowing biz god damn.
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Recently had a sellside “banker” (more like a broker, was a small add-on) send me a “blinded” top customer list. Hopped into the excel and realized all the names were still in there, the cells just had a black fill. Didn’t really matter but always so funny to see people fuck up.
Sell side firm accidentally sent me their PowerPoint report rather than the pdf and I see all the review comments. Lmao.
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Every single decision you’ve ever made in your life has led to this moment. Fucking insane to think about, but lowkey kinda comforting at the same. Weird.
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Vance knew exactly what he was doing here (creating a meme) and well done to him for the execution. It’s hilarious how much meme culture has infiltrated society. You see celebrities, athletes, tv shows, and politicians all do it. Kinda interesting.
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Have brought a dab pen through TSA 100+ times now with zero issues, but I still hold my breath every time waiting for my bag.
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As a window /aisle seat, it’s your duty to yield one of your armrests to the middle seat. Non negotiable.
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I just finished watching GOT for the first time and listening to @ClamsAndCockles for the final two seasons was so cool. The passion @WRBolen and @BarrettDudley had for that show was just unreal. Absolutely phenomenal stuff.
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@mis_aligned Chin up man. Was in the same spot but looking back I really do think bs slide building gave me a lot of skills I didn’t even know I had until after I left. Grind for the exit and remember the bullshit work isn’t for much but it’s definitely not for nothing.
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Horrible take. Inflatable shit in the front yard is white trash, but lights? GTFOH.
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Holy fuck even at 2x speed he still puts his laptop in his backpack at an annoyingly slow speed.
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Intern just tried explaining what the YouTubeTV quad box is to me like I’ve never heard of it before…. You have no idea who you’re dealing with here, kid. Go take a lap and get the fuck out of my sight.
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I’m a noted rain hater. Feel like I’m in a perpetual battle against it. That being said, i will be powering though and having an absolute day today. Cheers.
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Reminder: best time to network with someone is when you aren’t asking for something (besides advice). Can pay dividends once you actually do need something from them.
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Athleisure has ruined gym fits. I’m just tryna rock my old hs hockey shirt but I’m legit the only person in the gym with any type of words on their shirt. Do I cave and just drop a bag on more lulu?.
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Work -> hot yoga -> joint -> solo lunch at Lure. Questions?.
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Knowing how (and when) to confidently hang up a phone call is an underrated skill.
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@mandelbaum_sam If this was the case for me, I would have a very different view. That sounds brutal.
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@glenpmatthews Real texts from my mother, Glenn. Would never stoop so low as to fabricate something for the TL. That being said idt she was seriously asking. Sure she got a good laugh.
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Haven’t spoken to another human being (in person) in 72+ hours. Kinda fw this vibe but also think I’m going a little crazy. Cheers and happy Friday.
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Got back to my hotel room and I can’t just turn on the tv and easily watch the football game because it’s on fucking Amazon Prime. This is fucked and also unamerican.
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People who purposely yawn loudly (and/or don’t cover their mouth when yawning) are the scum of the earth.
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@sofucknlockedin It’s great. Really just need one to hit all szn to make it a plus money venture (unless you’re terrible or very unlucky). That being said, it starts as a fun squad ride but if your leg loses you immediately have to start rooting against your boys 😂.
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