Aqoonyahan Atlas Al-Zayla’i🇩🇯
@dalaldollars
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Therapist | 𐘾 | Journalist
🇸🇴🇩🇯 𐒖𐒇𐒙𐒑𐒖𐒂𐒖
Joined August 2023
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Drake takes to the booth and professes his liking for Ethiopian girls. This comes after a recent trip to Djibouti, known for their infamous brothels in which where exclusively Ethiopian girls are showcased. follow for more updates.
Drake just dropped 100GB of unreleased content, including new songs 🤯
"100 GIGS FOR YOUR HEADTOP"
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@EIshmael_
@AmnestyEARO
@UNHumanRights
@UNSomalia
He’s clearly an effeminate homosexual, full support to the Somali government on this case.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Somalia is having a slave trade revival, an Ethiopian man was recently sold to the highest bidder for a hefty price of 100 camels. His talents are in court jestering, making PB&J sandwiches and the ability to hold his breath for 2 minutes? An odd set of skills.
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Two Somali old heads giving famous linguist/polyglot Laoshu505000 a run for his money! 😂🇸🇴🇸🇦🇷🇺🇮🇳🇫🇷🇮🇹
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Beautiful story about how shortly after 9/11 happened, Abdurahman Haji ‘Dabcasar’ spent a whole day giving dawah to grieving and angry people who showed up to a mosque he was Imam at in New York City in an amazing fashion.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
The esteemed Colonel Tukeh has been released and was invited to perform at Rolling Loud 2024 with Rapper Lil Yachty. In an interview I had with him he expressed frustration with with barrage legal charges he was facing and said “P**sy ahh N**gas runnin to da police
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🚨BREAKING🚨
BJP supporters have announced a poop war on all of Eastern Africa! One stated “We will build roads for Africans so we can shit on them”. The operation will be called “P-day”, the poop version of D-Day. Follow for updates.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Salafi Mosques all over Birmingham are furious at the recent decision of the Somali parliament in keeping citizenship inheritance paternal. One odd looking fellow stated, “Nationalism is haram n dat yeah, I’m pretty sure Akhi Ayman n Abu Khadeeja said dat. so why
Alhamdulilah! The Citizenship bill from 1962 remains unchanged & this MP who is pushing the agenda to allow Somali Mothers with non-Somali children to have access to Somali Citizenship has been put in her place!
The citizenship bill will not be changed. 👇😁🇸🇴
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@Col1ardGreens
“And I am not safe in Islam”
You weren’t safe where ever you were either 😭🤦♂️
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🚨BREAKING🚨
As the final step of full integration within the EAC, African Pharaoh/Spiritual Leader Hasane Sheikhu Mamadou has released his entry for the “EAC Terms of Rhythm”. In order to prove you’re fully dedicated to integration, aside from learning a language no natives in
Mogadishu's Royal Muslim Academy sing EAC Anthem
@Invest_Somalia
conference. Integration is on!
@NationAfrica
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@AspiringSomali
Ah yes, hundreds of thousands of deaths, millions displaced, extremists militants, African gaal peacekeeping troops, our image tarnished and known as people that can’t govern themselves despite sharing 1 language 1 religion and 1 ethnicity. Totally worth it.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Fisherman in Bosaso says it’s his duty to clean the city from “filth”. This gentleman says he smuggles Oromos into Arabia, but authorities later found out that he just dumps them in the middle of sea. A few locals stated they have been having totally outstanding
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Sheikh Abdirashid Ali Sufi 🇸🇴 received a warm welcome in Uzbekistan 🇺🇿
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@mosthatedsomaIi
Bro got with a reformed Bomalian dhilo, no wonder this loser has been fat for 8 years straight and was singing to Chris Brown.
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I, Aqoonyahan Atlas Longhouse/Caqal-diid Kufsidoon Al-Zeila’i can assure you that Somalis DO sweep up divorcees because they’re African, and Africans are matriarchal.
as a somali, i really don’t understand this narrative about single moms. In my culture they get swept up in 2.5 seconds even by a man who’s never been married and he throws her an even bigger wedding than her last.
you should read about how the mauritanians see divorced women
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🚨BREAKING🚨
I’ve recovered a bit of the press conference that was unfortunately edited out of the original post. The President of Somalia, Hassan Sheikh had some stern words for the Ethiopian people. Follow for more updates.
In a press conference upon his departure from Addis Ababa, President Hassan Sheikh Mohamud strongly condemned the Ethiopian government under PM Abiy Ahmed for blatantly infringing on Somalia's sovereignty and aggressively seeking to annex its territory.
The President
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@Miamiindisb
@CrimeWatchMpls
take a look at these somali thugs harassing and beating up an underage girl
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Anti-Somali rhetoric has taken off in Kenya, Uganda and South Africa. SOME natives within those countries make it out to seem Somalis are elitist cabals who will dominate their nation and already control their economy. Keep your eyes peeled Somali bankers/businessmen.
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Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend! Funny and wholesome encounter between two Somalis in 1985 West Germany.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Mr.Beast in collaboration with Hassan Sheikh plan to host a grand “Last To Leave The Box wins an entire arsenal of weapons” in early August. This comes after recent giveaways the FGS did, with the winners being clan militias in Caabuudwaaq and Al-Shabab in central
🚨 BREAKING NEWS
Al Shabab terrorists publish footage from their attacks on the Somali army in Waninle on the outskirts of Ceeldheer in Galmudug state
The terrorists publish huge weapons stockpiles taken from the SNA in their ambush
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🚨DEG DEG🚨
Somali incel from Guriceel Galmudug issued a request to the people of his town to find him a wife. The life of an incel isn’t for everyone, the brother is clearly frustrated. Let’s find this patriot a wife!
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Rastafari-land (Formerly Somaliland) priestess Edna Idris claims Ilhan Omar works with the Houthis, The Muslim Brotherhood and Hamas. She then goes on about how Ilhan takes after Hitler and his fascist Nazi party. Ilhan’s Machiavellian nature has come to light.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Rastafari-land elders come out and announce their departure of the Somali ethnicity, they’re now “Reer Rasta”. Their sub clans are “Habr Bomboclatt, Rasclart and Wah Gwann.” This is just days after formerly Somaliland adopted Rastafarism as their state religion.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Al-Shabab have released an advertisement for their very own water park in Jilib. The water park includes seasoned brown African water, makeshift zip lines and a carnival stand serving the finest Unicef peanut butter. African ingenuity at its finest! Follow for more
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🧵 - Thread on the Ethiopian man who swiped 147,000 times on Tinder and only got a shameful 87 matches. 🇪🇹
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Leaked footage of Prime Minister Hamza Barre leading a Shia rave has surfaced. This is shortly after he met with Ammar Al-Hakim, a Shia community leader in Iran. Follow for more updates.
#313
💚
#Somalia
’s Prime Minister
@HamzaAbdiBarre
met with Ammar al-Hakim, a prominent Shiite leader in
#Iraq
who is also the head of the National Wisdom Movement.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Somaliland revised their state flag, adopted Rastafarianism as their state religion and changed their national anthem in honor of their new deal with Ethiopia.
#OneLove
#RastaReggaeMusic
#SmokeWeed
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Birmingham Salafis mainly of Jamaican and South Asian descent are flooding into Jilib, the AS strong hold/capital for the opportunity to die with an erection. Qooq is not easy.
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Somali elderly man dropping gems (and spit) on two Somalian females who were misbehaving.
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Another successful day of posting misinformation
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Current Senator and former Emperor of Puntland “Abdirahman Faroore” drops a new hit single diss track on HSM and his illegal constitutional amendments. Follow for more updates.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Ethiopian Airlines aircraft
#602
, Flight 390 Co-Pilot leaked audio from their reaction of the near missed collision over Maydh, Somalia (Rastafari Provence) with Qatar Airways.
🔴 An unconfirmed video circulating on social media purportedly shows a Qatar Airways flight narrowly escaped what could be a disastrous collision with an Ethiopian Airlines flight on the same route near
#Somalia
airspace following incorrect instructions.
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Ethiopian jealous incel urges Ethiopian and Christian women at large to stop dating Somali men. He claims they will use and abuse them, then throw them away like trash. Sadly cock watching is a common occurrence in Ethiopia.
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@mosthatedsomaIi
Somalian females were always Jareer, the term Jareerification isn’t applicable to them. Great investigative work as usual though.
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@mosthatedsomaIi
Jareerification is an illness and it’s very contagious. If a person in your life is showing signs of Jareerification it’s best if you remove that person from your life for your sake.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
I’ve received news from an anonymous cabinet minister that a new film about the Hargeisa Holocaust is in the making. The movie named “The Boy In The Striped Macawis” will be directed by failed Rastafari politician Abdirahman Cirro. They’ll be touching on the famous
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Somalis only make up 1% of the Minnesotan population. Even if they were to all get 0s across the board it wouldn’t make a dent in the average. Cringe poojet Mumbai street shitter. Go guzzle down cow dung.
Minnesota had masses of Somalis imported to it, completely altering the demography of the youth and not just in the Twin Cities. Even smaller municipalities can be 20% Somali among school aged children.
This was never voted for and the GOP ignores that reality very deliberately.
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Thread on Ethiopian and Israeli relations in Israel.🇪🇹🧵
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Famous Somali drop kick pose, women tremble at the sight of this.
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Somali fisherman encounter a friendly Whale Shark off the coast of Mogadishu.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Famous Somalian Female artist Caraweelo Bint Khomeini makes a tribute song to the now deceased President of Iran, Raisi. This is after rumors of a feminist Shiite wave was gaining popularity within Somalia. Follow for more updates.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Notorious African street gangs Galmudug Gangstas and Koonfur Galbeed Steppas clash over the annual Bomalian football tournament. A scholar hailing from the Galmudug Ganstas stated, “Aye mane we caught these p**sy ahh nig**s lackin, you know what time it was fosho.”
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@Aboubarchos
@TheNabaddoon
I hate to break it to you but dwelling in African twig and straw huts isn’t le based. That way of life is exactly why these people are in the predicament they’re in. Nothing to flex.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
With the introduction of the EAC common currency into Somalia President Hassan Sheikh Mahmoud legally has changed his name to “Hasane Sheikhu Mamadou”. This comes after his withdrawal from the Arab League when President Sisi of Egypt berated him and his nation on
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@MacrobianLight
This very similar to how I met my current GF, minus the awkwardness. Black queens forever, Satanic Somalian females never.
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🧵Short thread on Somali patriots in Bosaso advocating for the deportation of Oromos.
Firstly, a young street vendor complains that oromos harass his customers for food. He then goes on to say how it’s disgusting to look at an Oromo while eating. He finishes his statement off
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🔁🔁🔁🔁
President
@HassanSMohamud
spoke with President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi of Egypt, congratulating him on his re-election. They reaffirmed their commitment to enhancing bilateral relations, emphasising the importance of uniting efforts to address shared challenges in the region.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Exiled Rastafari Chief, Chief Black Mountain (Boqor Buurmadow) comes out in support of the Rastafari-land (formerly Somaliland) and Ethiopia’s MoU. Follow for more updates.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
On a interviewed with a queer Oromo man living in Mogadishu regarding the rise in anti-Oromo sentiment in Somalia. He/They stated, “it was already hard enough being queer living in Somalia, but ever since the Rastafari-land situation, I’ve started to fear for my
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Funny takes on the over discussed age old question. What are your takes?
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@mrobsiye
Don’t bring your conditional nationalism here, your marginalized clan elders were in fill support of handing their land to Ethiopia and you were in support of it, but when SL does it you cry.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
I’m hearing reports via an Anonymous cabinet minister that a joint amphibious attack on Berbera between Turkey and Somalia is underway. The operation will be called “Remove Rasta”, a noble effort to remove African heretics from Northern Somalia.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Nasri Warsame in an interview with Piers Morgan when asked “Do you condemn Hamas?” he replied “Apsolutely, me am bolice academy drobout who resbect Maraykan. No like Ilhan who wantis Hamas in Cedar Riverside abartment comblexi” Wise words from the Ward 10 candidate.
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@NurTabulaRasa
@HoehneVirgil
Harti is both an ideology and lineage. Brother Markus is Germanic Harti, you can find us from Timbuktu ila Shanghai Alhamdulilah.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Rastafari-land Spiritual Leader/Matriarch has passed away. An anonymous cabinet minister leaked that her last words were “Don’t let da Bomboclatt Somalians stop da MoU Brother Muse.” Follow for more updates.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
I have been notified by a reliable source that the Federal Government of Somalia is planning to host a winner take all flipping contest between itself and Al-Shabab after the stalemate between the two? Very odd proposal. Follow for more updates.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
NATO and NISA have leaked Emails between Aqoonyahan Saadine and Prime Minister Hamza Abdi Barre regarding the famous book within the black community, 48 Laws of Power and a potential power grab from Prime Minister Hamza. Follow to stay updated.
Law 1: Never Outshine the Villa Somalia Make those in the presidential palace feel comfortably superior. Hide your political ambitions if they may threaten the current occupant.
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@Jay57903380
@SickerGuyStill
Many Indians have PhDs in dick riding, bro saw his tweet felt belittled and shamed, then chose to deflect onto Africans.
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Don’t worry Somali patriots… a Gazillion Karanle Malassay lead by Mujahid OJ Smoke and Mujahid Akafi Ali will be deployed in Berbera to defend Somali sovereignty. Dalka ha u baqin.
#Baqiyah
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@EIshmael_
@Bellaaaellaaaa
@AmnestyEARO
@UNHumanRights
@UNSomalia
Exactly, because paternally we are West Asian, maternally we are African. It’s only in Somalian Females nature to support khanisiin and other degen stuff because they’re black.
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how i be walking up to the Afar refugee girl with 5 shillings in my hand
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Joe Rogan and Bob Gymlan discuss the new Minnesota State flag and it’s resemblance to the flag of Somalia 🇸🇴
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🚨BREAKING🚨
I have received news via an anonymous Al-Shabab cabinet minister that a potential interview will take place in Jilib between Tucker Carlson and Al-Shabab Spokesperson, Cali Dheere. This is after Tucker had a successful interview with President Vladimir Putin. Follow
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Youth in Garowe announce the hunt will be brought to their town. They’re passing around flyers to Oromos to warn them before hand. One of the hunters stated “Barbecued Oromo babies are a delicacy in Puntland, not to mention the cash prize and the taxidermy. I’m
🚨BREAKING🚨
This photo has been circling around Somali Facebook for the last 24hrs! Seven people have already claimed their cash prize in Lughaya! Oromos have been warned by the Rastafari Government of Somaliland to stay indoors! Very unfortunate! Follow for more updates.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Fat boy Deni in da cut is back in Garowe. Many mixed emotions all over the Somali peninsula. But sadly, the chefs in Villa Garowe are distraught over the news. Please pray for them. Follow for more updates.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
President of The Party of Hope Abdikarin, announces operation Ahmed Gurey in response to AIDsthopian🇪🇹 aggression onto Gomalian🇸🇴 land. Abdikarin has 5,000 loyal, battle hardened Tiktok followers, truly a force to be reckoned with. Follow for updates.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
President of Djibouti, Ismael Omar Guelleh appeared on Epstein’s list! He solicited young Afar girls, an ethnic minority in Djibouti to Epstein’s Island for nude photos of President Emmanuel Macron! What was IOG doing with these photos? Follow for more updates.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Popular musician Abuukar Jaajumow remixes his famous “Mudulood Hiraab” song in honor of Somaliland, now know as Rastafari-lands deal with Ethiopia. Follow for more updates.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
An anonymous cabinet minister leaked to me that there are plans between the FGS and the WWE to hold a 30 man Royal Rumble in the parliament tomorrow. It’s said that it will be done in honor of the 2005 parliament brawl in Nairobi. The winner will get a shot to face
A brawl in the
#Somali
Parliament is possible if things do not change ahead of tomorrow's session on the constitution, according to insiders and political analysts.
File Picture
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Eid Mubarak everyone, back to the regular scheduled program.
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@UNSomalia
@ATMIS_Somalia
@DKinSomalia
@EU_in_Somalia
@FinlandinSom
@IGADSomalia
@ItalyinSomalia
@NorwayInSomalia
@UKinSomalia
@SwedeninSomalia
@US2SOMALIA
It seems many Somalis have 3rd grade reading levels. But thanks for the statement though, we too believe all stakeholders should redouble their efforts to build consensus through an inclusive process.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
President HSM rescinds Somalias Ayrab League membership after Ayrab invader Sisi used Somalia as an example of a failed state. President HSM stated, “F**k da craKKKa Ayrab League, and Sisi a whole b**ch. Everyone knows da ancient Egyptians were black, and I put dat
Watching this I felt sorry for Hassan Sheikh Mohamud and the people of Somalia.
I saw how some in Somalia barraged the East African Community countries by insulting Swahili and Bantu culture.
Here is a fellow Muslim country with an Arab president warning his people by using
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Debunking the myth that Somalias flag is derived from the Italian colonial coat of arms.🧵🇸🇴
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