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caesararum, BS, DOGS Profile
caesararum, BS, DOGS

@caesararum

Followers
4K
Following
346K
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Statuses
35K

Dropped Out of Grad School (DOGS) // maybe we could try writing good software? // assume replies are "yes, and" // TC: $0

New York, USA
Joined May 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
when children get into the "why" phase, it is the dad's duty to step in and drive the children to exhaustion with explanations deeper than they could have expected. from this perspective, it's clear that mansplaining serves an obvious evolutionary function.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
10 months
I know why this is here, but it will never be not funny
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
11 months
based
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
i know this video is about shoes and running, but the arrow should have probably ended up closer to the shoe itself
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
7 months
a woman at the grocery store spent a full minute staring at these trying to figure out if they were normal nutella or some kind of weird variant. your clever redesign is someone else's source of stress
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
4 months
stuck doing IT for life
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@ryancbriggs
Ryan Briggs
4 months
When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
6 months
look at your 14 closest friends. if none of them is a millionaire, it's you.
@unusual_whales
unusual_whales
6 months
One out of every 15 Americans is a millionaire, UBS has said.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
1 year
Beautiful blonde wearing bikini with normal number of teeth standing on beach during sunset not too many teeth looking alluringly at the viewer please with the normal number of teeth.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
11 months
"Redditors who have eaten at the Times Square Olive Garden, why?"
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
8 months
who's making this
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
8 months
in 2012, Disney bought Star Wars, and (as I understand it) haven't yet profited from their $4Bn purchase price. In 2014, Microsoft bought Minecraft, and the money printer hasn't stopped spinning since then.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
parents: talk to your kids about finite element analysis before someone else does.
@NothingGoodDoes
We can’t fail
3 months
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
1 year
The Purpose of a System is What it Does
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
11 months
at least four different kinds of salt in this store. not a single one contains iodine. we're just eager to speedrun the "British sailors un-solved scurvy" approach, aren't we?
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
6 months
"it's a good thing we stopped leading gasoline.". "yeah, except all small aircraft.". "wait, what?". so many cases of things like this.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
4 months
it surprised me that my daughter could recognize both of these toys as "pig" about as early as she could speak. and in turn made me wonder what facility allows us to recognize both these as pig
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
7 months
Jorge Luis Borges: "In my short story "On Exactitude in Science" I invented the 1:1 scale map as a cautionary tale". Adobe: "At long last, we have created the 1:1 scale map from Borges' classic tale
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
5 months
homeowners looking at loadbearing walls be all like
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
a major gripe i have with US higher ed is probably one you haven't thought of. so, adjuncts. adjunct professors used to be roles open for e.g. people who were career professionals who wanted to give back by teaching a class or two in their spare time.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
8 months
"i have 10 years experience building stable, reliable, maintainable software systems". the software systems:
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
6 months
problem 1: the US doesn't have the shipbuilding capacity it needs to support a modern navy. problem 2: the US is too dependent on fossil fuels and incapable of building civilian nuclear reactors . point 3: the navy is allowed to build reactors on ships. see where I'm going?.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
7 days
California told me wildfires keep burning down its neighborhoods so I asked how it's mitigating wildfires and it said it just rebuilds its neighborhoods afterwards so I said it sounds like it's just feeding neighborhoods to wildfires and then its residents started crying.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
10 months
@ZetaOf1 > I know why this is here.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
6 months
"so it turns out that people are only really 3-D printing gaming miniatures and guns.". "so it didn't turn out profitable?". "profit? oh my god, we're raking in more cash than you could imagine".
@touchmoonflower
༺ 𐂂 ༻
6 months
remember “desktop printing ?”. did anybody ever desktop print anything besides war game figurines, paperweights and guns?.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
1 year
@_its_not_real_ "What's wrong with your roommate today?".
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
1 month
sergeant dog's words have been edited for the sake of the children
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@Kurt_Steiner
Kurt Steiner
1 month
Yeah, they wouldn’t today make a children’s book with two pages like this. (1974)
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
5 months
hearing a tumblr user express my most common complaint about twitter felt briefly like traveling to tribe living in a remote rainforest and finding someone who speaks perfect english
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
10 months
make sure you use the proper forms
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
5 months
it turns out the only thing worse than sleeping tightly in a room with poor ventilation is driving in a car with the AC in recirculation mode
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
7 months
previously, in "well intentioned but problematic redesigns"
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
you can just do things
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@Laserpig_Utopia
MC_Enthusiast
3 months
A gentle reminder that the process of civilization is the process of forgetting that you can grab a rock and bash someone's skull in. The whole of modern society is built on this careful, delicate process and you will not enjoy what happens if people begin to remember.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
8 months
we are living in the future
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
1 month
"everyone scores 1300". tell me you don't often interact with the general public without telling me . .
@83dollaroring
slinky vagabond 🌲🔩☕️🦉
1 month
SAT scores as a measure kind sucks cuz basically everyone scores a 1300 and once you look up into the 1500s the difference in scores comes down to whether you sneezed once pr twice during the math section.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
10 months
"The customer has nuclear weapons".
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
6 months
question: if lab-grown meat became indistinguishable from wild/farmed meat, what would be the second-order effects?. not, what do you wish they would be; what would actual humanity actually do?. i think salmon would be extinct within a century.
@s8mb
Sam Bowman
6 months
Had the opportunity to try lab-grown salmon this weekend. Very good - texture was not quite as good as the animal-grown stuff, not enough bite, but would be perfectly good on scrambled eggs. It won’t be long until we don’t need to keep salmon around at all.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
yeah, but that battle was lost a long time ago. mostly because of the paradox of mansplaining
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
23 days
paperclipping your liver with non alcohol fatty liver disease
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@kohjingyu
Jing Yu Koh
24 days
One of my friends in undergrad wrote a linear optimization program to maximize nutrition per dollar for their protein shake. It ended up returning that the optimal solution was just 100% peanut butter.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
1 year
i dated someone for two months and they lived rent free in my head for the next 7-8 years. some relationships just tear you up no matter how long.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
4 months
by the intermediate value theorem, there was at least one point where he was just the right amount of rich to learn to drive.
@mrexits
prayingforexits 🏴‍☠️
4 months
I think this Alex Karp quote has the highest aura of anything this year. Think about it all the time
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
7 months
anyway, for a full minute this woman was spending her precious attention trying to make sure she wasn't accidentally buying peppermint nutella or something.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
4 months
"I'm not going to raise rich failsons; instead i will give my money to some 501(c)3 so someone else's failsons can get a paycheck".
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
8 months
what do you call the application of an incredible amount of talent to the wrong problem entirely. is there a word for this.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
10 months
expert-level trolling here. a while back there was a story of a math student who was carrying the title "Basic Algebra" across the quad and she got hit on by a guy who thought he could tutor her, not realizing it was Basic Abstract Algebra, an upper-level course.
@colin_fraser
Colin Fraser
10 months
A math department at a major university in the US is now offering a semester long course on “game theory”. Yes, you read that right. Games. The things tiny children play. The dumbing down of America continues….
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
11 months
Credit scores enable a world where you can actually do things that require a credit score. "Hello, car dealer I've never met in town I just arrived in; i would like to make a $30,000 purchase but only have $2000 liquid". "Cool, the system vouches for you.".
@patio11
Patrick McKenzie
11 months
Credit scores: people don’t like them because they hold a mirror to a broken world, but the alternative to them is not an unbroken world.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
2 months
@DefenderOfBasic they probably state this in the thread, but NASA used to walk the hydrogen lines waving brooms back and forth. if the broom caught fire, you knew there was a hydrogen leak there.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
parents: take seriously your interactions with your children. for them, you losing your temper will change their perspective on the world forever. even though for you, it was tuesday
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@TKainZero
TKainZero
3 months
@caesararum When I was 4-5 years old. I was super into the "Why" phase, my dad flipped out on me, and killed my sense of discovery. Mentally castrated me. I think about that 10 second interaction 30+ years ago a lot.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
9 months
called it
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@hoovlet
Carole Hooven
9 months
"One of those expelled. said protesting in high school was what helped get him into Vanderbilt & secure a merit scholarship for activists and organizers. His college essay was about organizing walkouts to oppose Gov. Ron DeSantis’ anti-LGBTQ policies."
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
11 months
i have one rule for my daughter's dating life. never bring home anyone named /\w*a[iy]d[aeiy]n/.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
6 months
@Austen in the thread that i think inspired this question, there was a screenshot showing that official policy is ice is ok, but it's at the agent's discretion.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
PSA: never leave your high decoupling friends alone with your low decoupling friends.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
8 months
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
11 months
@prettywiseass There's a midwestern trait I miss. slap your knees with both hands, and say "whelp,". universally recognized sign of "time to call it" in certain parts of the country.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
2 months
@GreenTextRepost this one?
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
8 months
now, you may ask, what would have happened had Disney bought Minecraft . and the answer is too terrible to imagine. they'd have f---ed it up somehow. Minecraft Park at Disney World would lose money, confusing everyone.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
1 year
Life pro tip: if you see something on the internet you like, save it. Otherwise when you go to look for it again, some combination of bit rot, bad site migrations, route schema changes, site shutdowns, user deletions, and search crappiness will make it impossible to re-locate.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
6 months
"no, my cat's name isn't HP Lovecraft's cat's name, it's 'HP Lovecraft's cat's name'. do we need to go over the difference between pass-by-reference and pass-by-value again?".
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
@DrFreelance @QuetzalPhoenix "okay, but if pluto's a dog, what's goofy?".
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
2 months
civilizations are like huskies
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@Nemtastic1
Nemesis 2025
2 months
Tapping the sign.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
7 months
there are two types of responses to this:. - people who get it.- people who haven't come home with chili lime flavor toothpaste yet.
@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
7 months
a woman at the grocery store spent a full minute staring at these trying to figure out if they were normal nutella or some kind of weird variant. your clever redesign is someone else's source of stress
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
9 months
MyPassword123!. I bet 90% of passwords in places where policy requires a special character have an exclamation point at the end.
@IroncladDev
IroncladDev
9 months
not being able to end/start my password with a special character is one of the dumbest requirements I've seen
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
4 months
more significant than preventing the birth of third children, car seat laws reduce community formation. because it's now ~illegal to drive your kids and their friends somewhere without having extra car seats.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
8 months
seriously, every third boy under 16 i see is wearing Minecraft clothes or carrying a minecraft toy. disney properties are not nearly so hot as they were.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
11 months
@MostlyMonkey I expect the drink is well drunk by now, but in your shoes I'd have switched on RAW mode and captured the data and seen if I could reconstruct in post. a lot of New Yorkers struggled to take pics of the nightmare sky during the wildfires because phones automatically assume /.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
9 months
These are pretty neat. We should make a lot of them. Like A LOT a lot.
@mattbramanti
Matt Bramanti
9 months
let's talk about these little guys. 🧵
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
6 months
this kind of smart, walkable, mixed use urbanism is illegal to build in most american cities
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@tenellous
Jack Wrenn
6 months
problem 4: the US is in desperate need of dense, walkable communities . point 5: Navy ships are dense walkable, communities . see where I'm going?.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
the rules that grew up around them - adjunct have strict course load limits, usually 2 per instructor per institution - were meant to prevent universities from displacing TT professors from work . but over the last 20-30 years they've become a form of wage slavery.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
5 months
"smart" or "high IQ" isn't the right frame. a lot of y'all are exotic supercars idling in the driveway.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
1 year
There's a guy who follows me who:.- has a locked account.- with zero followers .- and dm's me thoughts on my posts. of all the ways to use twitter, this is certainly one of them.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
11 months
The inventor of two-handle mixer faucets: "i really enjoy the feeling taking a differential equations exam. if only there were some way to have that feeling every time I wash my hands"
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
10 months
Other than Game of Thrones, what is the biggest TV show that has left the smallest impact?. like, MASH reruns will still be playing after the apocalypse; meanwhile i feel like HIMYM kind of dried up after the finale.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
10 months
@amelapay Life pro tip: put a glass of water on your nightstand on the off chance you want a lukewarm, dusty drink in the middle of the night.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
6 months
return policy abuse makes me so uncomfortable.
@ShannonJean
Shannon Jean
6 months
Why do so many people return pressure washers to Costco?. I see them each week and wonder if there's any money in buying these store returns. Or if they are so complex that it would be a waste of time. What do you think?
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
11 months
Describe famous scifi authors uncharitably; I'll start. Asimov was barely an author in the ways we usually think of them; he was more of a creator of logic puzzles. Annoying stuff like "characterization" and "setting" were just speedbumps he had to surpass to write what he wanted.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
6 months
i propose a new program; the US naval power reserve. the navy will be responsible for building nuclear powered ships; these will then be floated to any riverine or coastal city to provide power grid support. to justify the size of the reactors, we will need a new gen of weapons.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
11 months
"spaced repetition is the single fastest and most reliable way to learn and retain information.". "so, do you use it?". "lol no".
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
there are only two maps of the united states, volume 1032
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
7 months
a video game like a mix between kerbal space program and factorio, where you're a von Neumann probe sent to a remote star and have to bootstrap civilization starting from interstellar dust.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
11 months
since mofos can't read. A is like B. the British Navy forgetting how to cure scurvy. is like. moderns (being on the verge of) forgetting how to cure hypothyroidism . blocking the next person who says "scurvy is because of a lack of vitamin C".
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
16 days
new insult just dropped . "your argument is so dumb, it would get shot down 8-1 with Sotormayor writing the dissent".
@atlanticesque
𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖊 🕯
16 days
If SCOTUS had a liberal supermajority, it may have worked. But even most liberal jurists are severely skeptical. If this makes it to the Court, it’s going down 9-0 or maybe 8-1 (Sotomayor.).
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
5 months
in any fantasy setting where what we call "magic" were real, it wouldn't be called magic, it would just be the way things were.
@mrsiipa
maharshi
5 months
dude how tf did we take sand and make it into 3nm chips that can do numerical computations billions of times per second, and we use those chips to make machines "learn" !?!?!?. magic does not exist in the real world because this is what real magic is.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
we got a permanent underclass of PhDs who spend most of their time commuting between far-flung institutions for peanuts, living lives of precarity, without meaningfully strengthening instruction or institutions . good job, guys.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
6 months
@DrNickA your daughter:
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
1 year
Me sowing trees I'll never sit under: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!. My grandchildren, sitting in the shade of those trees: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
8 months
4% loss, 27 g / 680. with a store brand mustard, I once tested and found that you will typically lose 10% of the product to the inside of the bottle
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
contrast this:. you're 20 and you run a discussion section of econ 101 as a reward for standing out in the department, developing invaluable leadership skills. vs. you're 45 and you run five full intro classes at three different schools (tutoring on the side to make ends meet),.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
4 months
"tell me. what do you know about state pension liabilities?". "nothing?". "GREAT! so let me show you some condos".
@SukritGanesh
Sukrit Ganesh 🇺🇸 🥑 🚲🛩️
4 months
Your daily reminder that there’s a 3-mile long stretch of beachfront condos selling for under $400k located just 5 miles from one of the best job markets in the US. Chicago remains unparalleled for its combination of good jobs, mass transit, and affordable housing.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
went to a kid's birthday party today.the party was held roughly here
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
5 months
i really wonder at what point in tearing off drywall you see four sistered boards and say "yes, this is clearly a floating wall".
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
2 years
@christineist , but enough about me.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
8 months
I've long said this. the beginning of the road to accent reduction is to parody a native speaker of your target language speaking english, poorly. 1/.
@GrantSlatton
Grant Slatton
8 months
My French friends always made fun of my American accent when I speak French. One day I decided to do just the most outrageously over-the-top stereotypical accent when speaking. “Wow Grant your French got *way* better, what did you change???”. The French are a parody of themselves.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
2 months
@Papapishu the NYT did a piece on how workers in TS get to work, and the entire area is littered with shortcuts that you'd never notice as a one-time visitor. but basically none of them are alleys.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
2 years
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
5 months
I'm going to make an AI powered app for clueless DIYers called "is this important". take a picture of a wall, it tells you if it's important before hitting it with the sawzall. take a picture of a screw, and it tells you how you messed up re-assembling the lawn mower.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
so the universities, in their wisdom, started to mine a different, inexhaustible resource: grad students and post-docs with delusions of tenure. so instead of getting passionate undergrads and early grad students to teach (and training them in indispensable skills),.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
6 months
it wasn't uncommon for teachers to wipe your calculator's memory before a test. the more clever of us would just spend the first five minutes of the test re-creating the critical helper programs we wanted. every single one of us is a professional engineer now.
@mbateman
Matt Bateman
6 months
@caesararum @cmhrrs Disallowed in some exams. Not sure if that’s the ultimate reason but it’s the one that occurred to me.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
1 year
Little known fact about birds: they are both a particle and a wave
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
8 months
cooking with induction is always like. i start with a raw egg.at time t_n+1, my egg is a little more cooked than at time t_n.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
1 year
Going to Europe and getting the full Cookie Consent experience based on location, suddenly realizing what Euros have been dealing with for years
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
3 months
living forever like you're still 25: no real job, barely any benefits, no savings, not developing meaningful skills in depth,. and (indirectly) depriving your brightest students of opportunity. it's the illness of our time (everyone deprived of the chance to grow up) writ small.
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@caesararum
caesararum, BS, DOGS
5 months
whelp, TIL if you die in a submarine implosion, you'll become for one brief shining moment the compression stroke of a diesel engine
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@Object_Zero_
Object Zero
5 months
@DJSnM It’s essentially behaves like a very large and very fast diesel engine piston.
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