Bron dot com
@brondotcomputer
Followers
3,149
Following
964
Media
1,512
Statuses
18,325
Writer. Comedian. She/her. Words: @Reductress @Bustle @Someecards @Vice @HelloGiggles @Cracked , my diary Substack:
Brooklyn, NY
Joined October 2018
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
満塁ホームラン
• 102342 Tweets
#ラヴィットロック2024
• 98301 Tweets
大谷翔平
• 92993 Tweets
Brighton
• 85568 Tweets
花火大会
• 78188 Tweets
#V最協S6
• 65008 Tweets
ALNP FANMEET IN HK
• 56915 Tweets
Vielfalt
• 50277 Tweets
#FNTHWIN
• 46038 Tweets
Täter
• 35981 Tweets
大谷さん
• 33335 Tweets
ケンタッキー
• 33057 Tweets
STRAY KIDS DOMINATE SEOUL
• 31755 Tweets
Slogan
• 28216 Tweets
悪役令嬢の中の人
• 27327 Tweets
CHRISTOPHER
• 18505 Tweets
カミナリ
• 15668 Tweets
Grande Motte
• 14575 Tweets
La Grande-Motte
• 14465 Tweets
韓国の女の子
• 11858 Tweets
The neat thing about COVID is it's super transmissible if you're with loved ones, but totally non-spreadable if you're at work making a CEO lots of money
150
20K
138K
RIP Rush Limbaugh, this is a hard day for dads across the country who called their daughters sluts for wearing tank tops
84
5K
72K
I will never get over the fact that Bridget Jones weighed 136 pounds and was trying to lose 20 in the first movie.
The early 2000s were so aggressively cursed for body image
321
4K
65K
Amen we need a Chilis with a bar that opens at 8am in every school
We have to secure our schools the same way we secure our airports.
3K
95
1K
117
5K
59K
One of the weirdest things about being a friendly/emotive woman is when you're having a basic interaction with a man and you can FEEL him assuming you're stupid/naive - there's such a specific vibe in reaction to friendliness branded as feminine
129
6K
53K
Please scatter my ashes in a Petco, I am no longer meant for this world
33
291
22K
I'm sad Kurt Cobain is dead but I'm glad I never had to see him go on Joe Rogan
62
2K
18K
My peers: Starting families, traveling, writing for TV
Me: Getting rejected from catsitting bc of a Marine Biologist
32
332
14K
@AnyaVolz
"By the way, the person we chose to scoop our catshit is more educated than you"
14
146
14K
Has anyone met a marine biologist?! How do we know they're not fake, like birds
130
249
12K
No one is more convinced they're ancient than 29-year-olds about to turn 30
45
1K
9K
One of the easiest emotional hacks is just admitting you don't know things instead of getting defensive
17
707
6K
Please just buy a vibrator
For Disneyland enthusiasts, the thrill is gone. The park is closed. The magic is missing. How to keep going when the “Happiest Place on Earth” is closed?
“I’ve been watching videos of Disneyland parades on YouTube and crying,” Stacey Major, a 32-year-old teacher said.
434
70
483
13
392
6K
Damn girl, are you a Boeing plane?
Because you're falling apart, but I'd still take you to visit my family
14
474
5K
There's this vibe of "either you're trying to manipulate me or you're dumb enough to be actually kind with no motive, which is weakness" which comes out of a culture of emotional domination. I need to write an essay about this, because there's so much in this dynamic
8
302
4K
IMO this dynamic comes out of the idea that friendliness from women is either something to be suspicious of, or proves she has a lack of depth/complex thought
8
108
3K
This is different/more specific than general misogynist assumptions that women are stupid/naive.
2
34
2K
Lots of people who aren't men also externalize this kind of vibe, I just pointed out men because this is a dynamic very much rooted in patriarchy and how it informs what feelings mean, and what we consider intelligent communication
4
56
2K
No one:
Baby clothes for girls:
"STEP OFF BUDDY, MY DAD IS GONNA FUCKIN SHOOT YOU, WE ARE BREAKING UP, I'M TOO CUTE TO WALK BUT UR IN LOVE, I LOOK LIKE MY MOMMA BUT I POOP LIKE MY DADDY"
9
88
2K
@MaraWiles
They need a depressed land dweller to slothenly move from the couch to the computer chair, and I excel at that 😭
3
2
2K
When male celebrities are revealed as predators towards women and the first response from dudes is to make jokes about how said guy "looks like a rapist" or "was always creepy" it just...shows how disconnected so many men are from this kind of violence.
9
145
2K
CBD oil feels like noise canceling headphones for my anxiety
10
193
1K
Grateful for everyone laughing along at my 13th reason lol proud to say I also managed to get my gf and I locked out tonight, so we are currently watching a locksmith drill our door open 💀
14
4
1K
@ZientakbBrian
They are very cute and look like they won't hold my lack of Marine Biology education against me
2
5
1K
90 percent of the political people I know would prefer to not be political, but...our families and lives are targeted so it's an existential choice vs. an ideological one
3
163
940
Pursuing comedy is like gambling because you have a very small chance of hitting the jackpot, but you also get to meet the most depressing people on earth
11
68
919
I feel like this has gotten worse in recent years, as feminism has become more cannibalized by capitalism and algorithms. A lot of people removed the actual politics/stakes from it and think of it more as "good vibes for women" vs an interconnected struggle for actual rights
1
175
868
I feel like people are too surprised?
Being considered annoying isn't the same as being on the wrong side of history - he's always been pretty outspoken even if people thought it was cringe
9
40
839
Name a more iconic duo than Hollywood and pedophilia
20
52
705
The same girl who made fun of me for wearing hand-me-downs as a kid is trying to start her own Vintage Etsy lmfao
6
23
606
Comedians will fight harder to say a slur than they'll fight for custody of their own kids
6
27
592
One of the most frustrating cultural misunderstandings is the conflation between politeness/"niceness" with actually caring about ppl, and the inverse which assumes anyone who ever expresses anger is bitter/toxic and not just...a person who wants shit to be better
4
114
527
Stranger Things Season 4 is just going to be the kids filling out their FAFSA
5
91
518
Me: Life seems harsh and cruel, I feel all alone in this threatening world.
Doctor: Treatment is simple, the great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him.
Me, crying: But doctor, Pagliacci is a HACK who steals jokes from less successful clowns! Plus, he big-timed me.
5
61
421
Lol everyone on Twitter is explaining Kurt Cobain to me like I didn't write a love letter to his corpse
2
5
366
@becca_oneal
Yes! I have so many thoughts about this. The white community hates actual warmth or sincerity lol
3
7
373
This is a rough time for those of us who are more likable IRL
4
37
375
My question to people who say this is...at what age do children become people to you?
i will die on this hill: it’s fine and normal to dislike children
2K
578
5K
8
12
366
Game of Thrones is like the hottest girl in school because everyone's obsessed with her but it's impossible for her to live up to their expectations. Also, she murders lots of kids
2
35
347
Ppl are untrustworthy if they're not even more angry than they were in 2020
yall don’t be embarrassed to admit you didn’t actually care about what you were advocating for?
370
4K
62K
4
16
340
Why are so many people online like "I'm 30, my BACK IS BROKEN, MY KNEES ARE DUST, EVERYTHING CREAKS" are yall okay?! Go to the doctor lol you're still young this sounds like it should be checked out
27
8
318
Yall can chill, I...know his politics...that is...the point
2
2
282
I do genuinely love how everyone has fully lost their mind
1
35
297
@merrydevo
It was so wild and toxic! I felt similarly when I started to develop, there was this assumption that teen girls/women all weighed 105 pounds
6
4
292
*Woman cures cancer*
Headlines: YASSS CANCER QWEEN, Meet the Babe Who Said Bye Felicia To Cancer Cells
3
30
282
TBH this is the dream, always working but also drama free
the mf really said i’m gonna be in a million movies but absolutely refuse to be famous
1K
23K
268K
4
20
277
Because the whole "oh of course this guy is bad" rhetoric erases the fact that people routinely gaslight women, don't believe us, and make us feel "dramatic" when we speak out about our experiences. So to turn around and be like "LOL of course that guy is rapey" is fuckin shitty
1
13
266
Too many leftists treat their politics like a trendy band t-shirt instead of a set of values that requires work and affects people's lives and it creates a toxic obsession with semantics and gatekeeping. Also, the lack of respect for emotional work feeds these toxic/petty cycles
What politic/organizing opinion do you have that results in this?
45
7
90
0
46
261
Yes! I think sometimes it boils down to ego and wanting to feel smart/original, bc the deeper you dig into history the more we realize the "new ideas" we're unpacking are centuries old. It's easier to write off previous generations than actually humble ourselves and engage
2
55
256
Waiting for the day people stop thinking glamorizing eating disorders and dropping slurs makes them intellectual and edgy, there's a whole class of NY writers who fetishize their own White emptiness as if it'll save them from the fact that they're soulless and inauthentic hacks
Very boring for somebody in the NY lit scene to interview their friend about their debut book and write about how they're the voice of their generation, yet again, because they write in updated-alt-lit-internet-speak
129
210
6K
2
26
265
The cops must be socially drained after all that quality time with their friends today
2
26
250
Logging onto twitter is like downloading intrusive thoughts
4
66
247
I can't stop thinking about how if our culture valued emotional intelligence it would be so much easier to have difficult conversations and try to create massive structural change in communities (the comedy community, or cities at large).
3
35
246
I miss when incels started bands like Weezer instead of doing mass shootings
4
16
242
I'm sorry to say I only believe in two genders: Paul Giamatti, and whatever rumpled plastic bag he's carrying
2
18
229
As someone who was blacklisted as a baby comic in Chicago for Naming Names, a lot of "nice guys" have a lot of work to do. You stayed silent or "neutral" or came out to support women it was trendy. I don't love seeing the Chris D'elia jokes from men who can't do the bare minimum
2
10
231
No one:
Me: When I worked at the farmers market I once saw Paul Giamatti silently crying while purchasing meat
0
14
224
I'm sorry but "this is a feminist idea btw" is the funniest fucking sign off hahahahahahaha
9
10
222
Too many comedians act entitled to the audience's time/attention instead of recognizing audiences are made up of people who could be doing anything else and are being generous by giving you their time - be nice to them!
3
13
223
I don't really agree with the Twitter logic that people need to absorb 18000 news articles at a time otherwise they are "not paying attention."
I see people becoming immobilized while they try to process destruction across the world in real time instead of linking w neighbors
1
25
213
The way that Mormonism is actively recruiting people through trad wife content is truly fascinating and terrifying, and exposes how easily duped people are by hot people
8
25
202
It is very weird to be in the space where you're not visibly "successful" but you can't watch Netflix without seeing people you've met once at a party
6
6
199
Male comedians being "supportive" when they think you're single vs. when they find out you're taken
5
8
193
The irony of Margaret Atwood writing horror about the dystopian reduction of womanhood to making babies and then turning around and being a TERF
5
18
186
Unless you're one of the few men willing to get lampooned by your peers for believing women when it's still "hearsay," when people will claim you're "white-knighting" or when the woman is deemed "unlikeable" - then it's very hard to hear you act as if you "saw it coming"
1
6
176
Mary-Kate Olsen divorcing her older French husband during a global pandemic is her pivot to adult actress I've been waiting for
1
17
172
Every Sephora employee passive aggressively checking to make sure I don't steal
4
39
170
Anyways I interviewed Sandra Fluke back in 2017 about her continued advocacy, and it feels like a good day to repost
0
16
114
1
7
157
This "I totally could see this coming" attitude just places blame and shame on women for not coming forward sooner, despite the fact that in many cases women HAVE come forward sooner and been blacklisted or routinely silenced/erased.
2
12
168
At the phase of quarantine where I looked up Erik Von Detten's current little family
They are cute
4
7
166
I know the edible hit because I just got emotional thinking about how cute train sounds are...a honk? A chug? A choo?! Very cute
3
8
166
One of the more "subtle" forms of dehumanization are the posts that address leftists with the message "you're hurting your Jewish friends by supporting the idea of free Palestine" which fully assumes no one could have Palestinian friends - and erases anti-Zionist Jewish people.
2
21
156
Regardless of how cartoonishly weird a man is, he's not a cartoon to the people he's victimized. And it just increases feelings of isolation and shame to act like you can't conceive of how that predator could successfully manipulate and abuse ppl, especially when they're famous
1
6
150
The older white woman who finds out you're in an interracial relationship
12
21
146
Comics: COMEDY IS ABOUT TRUTH TELLING
Me: Okay, your friend is a nazi who preys on underaged girls
Comics: Um, not that kind of truth
0
27
145
HIMYM is a treatice on how friend groups protect sexual predators (Barney) by brushing off every nauseating thing they say
1
8
138
I don't believe billionaires should exist. I think once someone has a billion dollars they should be taxed so heavy they are down in the millions or lower.
In fact, I'll PROVE these are my beliefs if y'all will just let me see 1 billion dollars real quick
0
6
135
The way a 29-year-old told me he's "afraid of young people" last night, and the "young person" was 27 😭
2
5
137
This is how so many people sound when they talk about dating lol
0
12
135
Lol capitalism has really done a number on what people think feminism is
1
8
127
I'm watching the Flat Earth Documentary and have never felt smarter in my life, this is like the intellectual version of feeling hot at a gas station
2
13
133
Can people just go back to admitting they're perverts instead of whatever this is lol
5
9
134
White people screaming at other white people in the ally olympics as if we're not all 400 years late
6
9
129