dəlilah
@badhasbara
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Pinned Tweet
how do i explain to my children that a film that won 6 oscars inspired a shrimp restaurant franchise
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@LolOverruled
i'd rather see a nepo baby acknowledge their privilege & use it to uplift others than someone who flat out denies it
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do you know it poisons your heart to look for a specific person viewing your story each and every time you post one?
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@lachancenaomi27
idk one time i was fighting with my really stoic, stern af father and i said "you know this is all your fault, i came out of your ballsack" and he laughed rly hard anyway that bonded us and made our relationship stronger ♥️
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also hey i did not make this image but i would love to give credit to its maker if anyone knows ! i also used to make the bands at DIY shows look at this when i bought merch from them
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does anyone else’s memories start with martha stewart going to jail
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"nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody" - ancient proverb
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@NikaLomazzo
but also who in 2021 has even been a bridesmaid a third time, a second time...!
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the idea of a story “view” (mostly coincidence because of social media manipulation) as opposed to a comment or a like has influenced an entire generation into thinking that the simple act of perceiving is that of flirtation
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@erikstrobl
to be fair that's an exceptional selection of gatorade. a buffet of gatorade. a salad bar of gatorade, if you will
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“navigating your twenties” is really just “figuring out how to trim your pubes”
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it's great that there are cities like philadelphia where men can be openly bisexual
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i used to be one of those white girls who tracked who unfollowed her on insta with one of those apps. now i just do coke and fist myself two to three times a week.
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@MC_squared_
@SUCCESSl0N
fucking with the media is a pretty tactful response for people always asking them about the kids' father imo it's not really anyone's business at the end of the day
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i’ve had this in my phone since 2019, and there have been many shows….
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i know scientists have been researching this for decades but why does winnie the pooh not wear pants
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@zombiemakeover
@GoingMedieval
aren't bank holidays supposed to be on a reliable schedule so you can prepare for when they occur?
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@TonyaWithAPen
i’m in group therapy that focuses on young women diagnosed with autism later in life. more than half of the girls in my group are black. i can’t imagine how much harder it is to get a diagnosis if you’re a black man.
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@MelanatedMuppet
me googling what pro-shots are trying to figure out if they're related to back shots
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@stubborn10000
reminds me how my brother lost his virginity on birth right and the only thing he remembered from the trip was that and all the cocaine he did
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peaked in life today when i was mentioned not by name in a podcast for fishing a menstrual cup out of one of the host’s vaginas
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my pal invited like 25 of her closest friends to a party so we could all meet and assess her new flame & like good for her cus we all loved him and also the party was fun as fuck
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@bartleby_era
ok, as someone who has only made their spotify THAT noticeable to get attention on the subway...... i think he was trying to get ur attention
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my favorite hobby is trying on pants that don't fit me and immediately feel terrible
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every white jew screaming "antisemitism" when zionism is criticized had been waiting their whole life to victimize their whiteness
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my roommate met dustin hoffman at a party last night and asked him in earnest if he’s seen “the graduate”
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@kvetchbian
blankets are also like one of those things you can never have too many of laying around
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@romanroyco
this is why she is my favorite actress, and i’ve never seen her in any acting role
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my ass is so tight and shapely cus i'm always running away from my problems ♥️
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there is a couple slow dancing to the live performer at margaritaville
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some of you are tweeting things that make me want to explore your lore further
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"taking bong hits when you have a cold isn't a good idea"
listen if i survived anorexia and 9/11 i can survive this
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maybe loss of smell from COVID was an evolutionary response to these white celebrities who don't bathe
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@Maladroithe
a lot of people on this thread saying "I WILL FEED THIS CHILD" when the damage is already done and the kid is starting to develop an eating disorder... so many people telling me they would feed me when all it would was create more anxiety....
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@belllaa____
@nonbinarybooty
tbh i also always felt the real act of protest was tipping in cash, so restaurant can't take taxes out
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provolone cheese is like kourtney kardashian: forgotten, and by far superior
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why do so many tweets by skinny white men sound like AI generated text
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@i_zzzzzz
sometimes i see your tweets on my timeline and assume you're in the strokes based on your avatar
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@wengelll
i find this very endearing cus it just means they're humble enough to get in tune with the culture and appreciate their fans everywhere
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very critical of how high the waist of my jeans go. for example, if the jeans don't go up to at least my tits, i am not buying them
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@554mariposa
i'm suspicious too but one time i found a rare film camera for $10 at a thrift shop that went for $500 online so idk idk
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i asked the checkout girl at the grocery store if i could give her my number and she said “i have a boyfriend” and i said “no, i left my rewards card at home. can i just give you my phone number?”
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