Benjamin Faye
@_heytherebenji
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Writer. Speaker. Advocate. Exvangelical. Spiritual Abuse Survivor. ENM. Neurodivergent human.
Joined July 2020
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Last Seen Profiles
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Hey Benji, why do you talk so much about homelessness?
This time ten years ago, I was a homeless man living out of a motel room near downtown Orlando. And today, I am sheltered yet housing insecure. And yes, some of it involves the church.
A 🧵:
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@NYWiseass
@KarenAttiah
My best guess is patriarchy. Violence against Black women is rarely taken seriously, and it seems like his entire defense strategy was putting her on trial, and it worked everywhere but the courtroom. He antagonized her because he thought he could and get away with it.
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I’ve reposted this again, but as a formerly unhoused person, the replies on this are ghoulish. Couple things.
1) Homelessness is not a character issue.
2) Drugs aren’t the main problem, but even if they were, nobody gets clean on the street. (Cont.)
Homelessness ends with a home 🏠
Homelessness ends with a home 🏠
Homelessness ends with a home 🏠
Homelessness ends with a home 🏠
Homelessness ends with a home 🏠
Say it again, and again, until our homelessness policies reflect it.
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Secretary Buttigieg is correctly referencing the work of Robert Moses here. Interstates were literally designed to destroy Black communities and separate them from resources. The plan was segregation. Swift to read, slow to tweet. Please.
Pete Buttigieg says that underpasses which were designed too low “obviously reflect racism.”
Our tax dollars pay the salary of this moron.
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If you’re not yet familiar with the term “misogynoir”, get familiar with it quickly because it’s about to become a Republican campaign strategy.
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@prntgdcolonized
It honestly clarified so many things for me. It removed any and all presumption that my struggles were moral failures. It gave me the impetus to try new strategies because i understood the problem better. It’s been life changing, honestly.
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3) The people fighting this the hardest are Christians. “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the s…” …nevermind. They don’t actually read the Bible anyway.
4) The minute we decided safe shelter was a thing a person had to earn, we lost the plot. (Cont.)
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@ToriGlass
“I just felt like God put you on my heart this morning…”
NOTE: this is almost always a preamble to an invitation to Interrogation Coffee Hour.
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Housing is a right. I’m not arguing with anyone on that. No one deserves to be outside exposed to the elements. People deserve to be where it’s warm and where life can happen. That should be obvious. Y’all don’t benefit from capitalism enough to be this cruel to your neighbors.
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I ended up unhoused years ago because of clerical errors on my documents from the 80’s when I was born. Kept me out of work for years and thus homeless. No drugs. Just life. Could happen to anyone. Y’all talk about this shit like your house can’t burn down tomorrow. (Cont.)
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Some were women with children escaping DV situations. Others were people who’d been harmed in shelters (happens more than you think). It ran the gamut. All of them were worthy of housing. All of them were worthy of being treated like human beings. (Cont.)
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When I lived in Orlando, I spent time working with a local nonprofit that helped me get out, and I got to talk to many in the unhoused community there. These are people with dreams and aspirations. Almost none of them had drug problems. Many, however, were veterans. (Cont.)
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And when I moved to Atlanta two years ago, my first job here was managing social media for a nonprofit drug rehabilitation program. I’ve seen a lot, and I’m telling you. It ain’t drugs. If anything, what keeps people unhoused is what society thinks about the unhoused. (Cont.)
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So, you’ll forgive me if I’m not interested in hearing hot takes from people whose understanding of the issue is Fox News deep. I’ve lived this. I’ve seen this shit up close. Kevin is doing an incredible job educating people on the actual issues. (Cont.)
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@notcapnamerica
I kinda feel like it was her mother who chose violence here, not the other way around. This just feels like the “effect” part of cause and effect. You don’t get to just talk to people any kinda way, whether you birthed them or not.
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Two things are true at once. Macklemore has privilege AND a lot of y’all’s favorites were at the Met Gala when he dropped this. That’s what people are responding to. He used his privilege to advocate for the marginalized, which is what we’ve asked white folks to do for years.
Praising a white rapper like Macklemore for what lesser-known Black rappers have been saying for decades is white supremacy.
He is given the latitude and freedom to say this bc of white male privilege and the protection that comes with it, not granted to those with Black skin.
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@MzTeel
@ThePopTingz
Same, and I think that’s what a lot of people are missing, perhaps because they’ve not been unhoused. When you go through it, you won’t wish it on anyone. Folks wanna take Azealia down a peg, but they’re really just shitting on homeless folks.
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Imagine if there were no songs, podcasts, movies, or books to help you process or keep you from losing it right now.
Times like the ones we’re in really underscore the importance of artists & creatives. Don’t take us for granted.
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Do yall wanna tell em or should I?
(Crickets)
Okay, I’ll do it. Back in Shakespearean times, women weren’t allowed to be in the plays, so men dressed in drag. This is racist, ahistorical and embarrassing. You still have time to take this down.
Romeo & Juliet movie then vs. now.
They are rewriting history in front of our very eyes.
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We saw America tonight.
Not Trump’s America. Not Biden’s America. We saw what America is & has been for a long, long time. Fall in line or we’ll sic the military on you.
Is that the democracy we’re trying to save at the ballot box?
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When I was in church, there would be well meaning white Christians who’d talk to me about racism and say “all will be made right in heaven”, but in my head I’m like “ you could just tell your uncle Steve to stop calling us the N-word. Like, you could make it right right now”.
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Former Christian & unhoused person here: The most fervent Christians I’ve ever met have often been unhoused. Most will initiate a conversation w/o a prompt.
Also, “the good news” to an unhoused person is housing & a meal, not words. Churches miss this constantly.
when i was a kid our pastor took us downtown to show us how to “reach to the lost” and the first thing he did was walk up to a homeless guy on the street and say “sir i’d like to tell you about jesus” and the guy responded by reciting the entire first chapter of John from memory.
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Deconstruction is not a guarantee of decolonization.
Walking away from church doesn’t mean you walked away from the idea of being the center of everything.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m probably talking to you.
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@JustinDGentry
Short hair.
Specifically, when Taya Gaukrodger had a buzz cut while a member of Hillsong, my worship leader hated it because he thought the haircut was a covert way of telling people it was okay to be gay.
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@marilynbrea_
@MzTeel
@ThePopTingz
Is it? Making the choice to see someone’s humanity whether they see yours or not is one of the most freeing things you’ll ever do.
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Not gonna lie, I’m pretty irritated by the tone policing I’m seeing right now.
POC are repeat victims of political violence. It’s how the US was formed.
If you won’t say anything when we’re victims of political violence, you don’t get to demand “decorum” from us.
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The empire is burning, friends.
Smile. Smile as much as you can. Find what makes you happy and do as much of it as you can.
Joy and enjoyment are not luxuries. They are what we need to live and to survive.
Please take care of yourselves. I love you.
🫶
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@goatpurple1
Not nearly the issue people think it is. This is a myth that gets perpetuated constantly.
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Meeting my bio mom, and soon thereafter, her girlfriend.
The most selfish thing I ever did as a Christian was assuming that love was a thing I got to define in every room I was in, because Jesus. This started the break in that thinking.
For those of you who went from non-affirming to affirming theology, what “changed your mind”?
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Wait, so the guy who specifically had worship events as a counter to BLM protests at the height of the pandemic while selling shirts with “Superspreader” written on it is trying to tell someone else to stop grifting?
Is it legal to possess that many grams of audacity?
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One of the most damaging remnants of evangelicalism was the taught misinterpretation of self hatred as humility.
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@aprilajoyr
Bingo. The fact that Christians support either one of them is a stunning indictment, but you are 1000% right here.
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It’s funny how people who’ve never been unhoused get their undergarments in a twist about me using the word “unhoused” as opposed to “homeless”.
Y’all are angrier about terminology than the condition of homelessness itself.
Where I’m from, that’s called privilege.
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NASTY WORK, and ahistorical. Black people and Palestinians have largely been in solidarity for decades.
Pitting Black liberation and Palestinian liberation against each other on behalf of Biden is nasty work.
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The wildest thing about this is how he could have arrived at the answer to this question by reading what Black authors have been saying for generations.
Black people have been telling you how it works. Why is your research more valuable than our lived experiences?
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A reminder that there isn’t a single Black person or POC that owes you or anyone rosy feelings about the Fourth of July or America.
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I just saw a post of a married woman saying she doesn’t believe in monogamy. And boy, the Christians in her comments are UPSET, insisting that God is honored in monogamy.
In a related story, King Solomon had 700 wives.
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I have this inner voice that shames me when I post selfies. It tells me I’m fishing for compliments when I post.
It’s a lie, but it feels like a good time to say in general that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be complimented. You deserve to feel nice.
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Black women are the backbone of the Democratic voter base. THEY PULL UP every time. Meanwhile, there isn’t a single Dem presidential candidate that had the backing of white voters in my lifetime, and I was born in the 80’s.
Y’all stay having the right smoke for the wrong folks.
I don't know who is doing the reporting on attitudes of Black women voters right now but...
For all the focus on the voting patterns and polling of white women, Black men and Trump-- the truth is this:
If Democrats start to lose Black women, the party is cooked.
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@HarlemJ11
@Kyla_Lacey
@HarlemMC
Yes, because we’re capable of multitasking. It’s okay to voice frustration AND petition your lawmakers.
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A reminder that today’s supreme court ruling is not a function of a broken system but of one working as intended for who it was intended to work for.
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@chippyaccount
Either you didn’t actually read your notes or didn’t take any. Way to swing and miss.
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I don’t care if it’s phrased in the form of a question, there is no scenario where it’s okay to refer to a human being as illegal.
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for those who’ve made mutual aid requests…
1) You are not the problem. Capitalism is.
2) Until they’ve done it, no one knows how hard it is to ask for help. Don’t let the trolls get to you.
3) Stop apologizing for having needs.
4) Thank you for letting us in.
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And I think this is what’s most maddening about all of this: it was all predictable and thus avoidable. If people don’t vote, it won’t be because they want Trump. It’ll be because they’ve lost faith in the whole thing, and Dems have no one else to blame.
Black commentators warned early on about the threat of Trump. White liberals laughed in our faces.
For a year, people said that Biden's age and health would be a problem. Same with his actions in Gaza. Liberals/Dems told people to shut up and vote.
Now here we are.
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@kevinmax
Not even close. The question is on shaky ground given our deeply racist history as a nation. He is in competition, however, for having done the least for black people. Shoot, he's done more TO us than FOR us.
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@newvangelicals
The evidence of white privilege is the fact that white Americans were asked this question at all. How would they know what does or does not hurt the movement? It’s not for them! SMH.
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Criticizing unhoused people.
What is something that is socially acceptable but that you find disrespectful?
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I long for the day when men realize that safety matters more than masculine performance.
Take the hint, fellas, the bear isn’t inherently better. You just make the kinds of choices that make a literal wild animal preferable.
If that bugs you, do better.
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In case no one tells you today: sadness, grief, and unmitigated rage are all rational responses to watching children being slaughtered.
It’s when we stop feeling those things that we should be concerned.
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“Non-monogamy is just an excuse to cheat”.
1) Cheaters don’t need an excuse to cheat. Many of them just cheat.
2) Non-monogamous people cheat too.
No relationship structure is a guarantee of fidelity. YOU are responsible for what you’ve agreed to in your relationships.
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Just so we’re clear, “everyone is struggling” is the worst possible response to a mutual aid request.
We know. There wouldn’t be so many requests if everyone weren’t struggling, Sherlock. What I wanna know is why you’d rather folks suffer in silence than help seek solutions.
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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but queerness is not a thing where you can agree or disagree with its existence. It’s not the tooth fairy.
Queerness exists and will always exist with or without your approval. Get over yourself.
Happy Pride.
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@thepursuinglife
Pre-Deconstruction Ben: It feels like some of this is bullshit.
Deconstructing Ben: That’s because most of it is bullshit.
Pre Deconstruction Ben: But isn’t it the work of the devil?
Deconstructing Ben: With leaders like yours, who needs the devil?
(Sips London fog)
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The solution to homelessness is housing. The reason it’s not over is because we don’t want it to be.
Capitalism means everything is about money. That is, we won’t do the right thing until it’s profitable. Housing people isn’t profitable, so it doesn’t happen.
Hope that helps.
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I think often about how Facebook had the exact effect on my parents’ generation that they were afraid it would have on us.
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One fun thing about Juneteenth is how people who’ve fought against DEI and affirmative action are all getting the day off.
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No one’s giving him a special cookie. He’s just doing the one thing no one else is doing because they’re more concerned about coin than children. Folk are happy someone with a platform is doing something because right now, the artists with platforms aren’t. That matters.
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Is it just me, or is anyone else’s anxiety sky high lately?
Did mercury get micro braids, or whatever the woo woo people be sayin?
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Yo, Macklemore is real as fuck for this. THIS is how you use the platform to create change.
Free Palestine.
HIND’S HALL. Once it’s up on streaming all proceeds to UNRWA.
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Thinking Colin Kaepernick taking a knee is offensive but racism isn’t.
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@thepursuinglife
Can you please devote an entire episode of Thereafter to being a debrief of this debrief?
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The fact that so many white people worked so hard to dismantle affirmative action & DEI initiatives despite white women being the biggest beneficiaries of both says to me that they are willing to lose a lot if it means Black people will lose everything.
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The reason you don’t see police presence here the way you do at the pro-Palestinian protests is because history tells us they’re the ones marching in this video.
White supremacist group Patriot Front marching through the streets of Charleston, WV
“Be vigilant. They cover their faces for a reason. My bet is hardly anyone in this group is from WV. Most times, groups like this will bus people in to try to recruit new members.”
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Say it again and again and again. Not more shelters. Not more stopgaps. HOMES.
Homelessness ends with a home 🏠
Homelessness ends with a home 🏠
Homelessness ends with a home 🏠
Homelessness ends with a home 🏠
Homelessness ends with a home 🏠
Say it again, and again, until our homelessness policies reflect it.
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I didn’t realize how attached people were to monogamy until I started talking about non-monogamy publicly.
So much of the discourse surrounding CNM is framed by what monogamous people don’t understand about it, and that’s a missed opportunity.
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The idea that calling for one group’s liberation must mean another’s destruction is based on a mindset rooted in conquest, not collective liberation.
Freedom is not a finite resource. It is for everyone, even those with manifest destiny in their bones.
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“I couldn’t be non-monogamous, I’m too jealous.”
If you see jealousy as something worth preserving in relationships, then monogamy won’t work for you either.
You can have a healthy relationship or you can feed the codependency, but you can’t do both.
Do the work.
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Because
@CortlandCoffey
can’t be the only one out here taking fire selfies. Also, maybe I should’ve taken more photos at
#contentwarningevent
… oh well, until next year. Who am I seeing here in Atlanta in ‘25?
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I don’t doubt that an 81 year old has the goods to be president, but the reason Millennials and Gen Z bring up age in relation to older lawmakers is because none of them will be alive in the future they’re creating.
Acting like that doesn’t matter is completely disingenuous.
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In taking some inspiration from the kind words yesterday about another photo, some candids from today before work meetings.
Yes, I know I need to repaint my nails. Let’s not talk about it.
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@LadyMercutia
@notcapnamerica
Right! I’m a former Social Emotional Learning coach, and to me this highlights this really toxic dynamic I’ve seen a ton that says that parents are entitled to disrespect their children but if the child gives it back, they’re the ones in the wrong. I hate that.
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I could listen to
@transvangelical
talk for hours. Absolutely brilliant.
#contentwarningevent
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White folks using DEI as an acronym for “didn’t earn it” says that they always thought bringing nonwhite people into a space meant lowering standards, which is to essentially state that they believe Black and brown people are inherently subpar.
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Firstly, if you’re not following Karen, rectify that. She’s brilliant.
Secondly, she’s absolutely right. Anti-intellectualism will rear its ugly head sooner than later and be weaponized against Black and brown folks, as most things in America are.
I'd argue that progressives and Black feminists succeeded in penetrating the mainstream discourse with previously complicated academic concepts.
But I have a feeling we will see a backlash against elevated vocabulary and things that sound "too smart" in the coming years.
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I have many thoughts here, but only one front of mind: for the last time, HALLELUJAH BY LEONARD COHEN IS NOT A WORSHIP SONG. There’s literally a verse in it about fucking.
“Remember when I moved in you/the holy dove was moving too/and every breath we drew was Hallelujah”
This is a listicle from a blog that showed up in my inbox today. The title of the list is “15 Best Christian Songs of All Time.” And I have so many questions.
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Heads up, homelessness helps keep people out of the voting process.
Much like applying for a job, your voting info is tied to an address. If you don’t have one or can’t afford a PO Box, you’re pretty much SOL.
Ask me how I know.
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So, it seems like my friend
@transvangelical
sent a few new faces my way (thanks!) so an intro feels in order.
Hi 👋 I’m Benji. In this life I’ve worn many hats. I’ve been a writer, speaker, musician, advocate, and for the last few years, a deconstructing human. (Cont.)
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Music fans that love more sophisticated music need to be careful about how we speak about more simple music. The truth is that simple music speaks to more people, and at the end of the day, speaking to people is kinda what music is about.
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@d_l_mayfield
Thank you for your voice. As a black believer who's had to leave his church recently for reasons in part involving racism, watching your activism has been so refreshing for me. Thank you.
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I spoke recently about how you get hotter the more emotionally healthy you become. And it’s true.
For me, I see the difference in countenance. The guy in green was 28 & in his church’s discipleship school. The guy in black is 35, exvangelical, & more accepting of self. (Cont.)
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Happy Week of Visibility for Non-Monogamy to all my fellow ENM/CNM/Poly people!
Hoping this week is one of good conversation, education, and freedom.
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This is an old photo I forgot about that I love.
Five years (and four less piercings) ago.
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Still processing this weekend at
#ContentWarningEvent
. So many emotions and things to sort through.
I’m sitting at the airport equal parts tired and grateful.
@thepursuinglife
and
@JustinDGentry
for being the best hosts with great ideas and better vision. (Cont.)
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@transvangelical
Dear fellow men in the comments, you’re only making her point. NONE of you saw this as an invitation to reflect, and that’s precisely why this tweet is necessary. The fact that man vs. bear is even a valid question is the problem, and that’s 100% on us.
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Quick reminder that it is entirely possible to engage in Trump schadenfreude without resorting to intellectual disability jokes.
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The Electoral College.
In 5 words or less explain how the United States is not a democracy.
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@LovesSardine
@goatpurple1
I was literally unhoused, got out, and worked with the homeless later on. I lived this. You walk by. YOU are the last person who should be speaking on this.
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I still have so many thoughts swimming in my head from
#ContentWarningEvent
but what has endured most right now is not a quote, but rather a sentiment.
“Holy shit. I belong somewhere.”
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Three years ago, I wrote a post on IG saying “what you don’t deconstruct, you will recreate”. This is exactly what I was talking about then. We don’t need more pastors or gurus. You can’t be an expert at what you are also refusing to do.
Brian Recker’s out there on IG thinking he’s the first cis straight white dude who has ever thought of going from mega church pastor to deconstruction pastor/influencer overnight & I’m tired of his dismissive responses to people who try to reach out to him privately to say 🥴🚩1/
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@kevinmnye1
For those denying the reality of this, there are literal nonprofits devoted to housing for LGBTQ youth kicked out of their homes. Zebra Youth in Orlando, Lost N Found Youth in Atlanta…this is real.
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60% of Americans are paycheck to paycheck and one emergency away from homelessness.
The Supreme Court ruled that it is legal for cities to criminalize homelessness.
To quote the band Incubus, “if you’re not affected, you’re not paying attention.”
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I’m an adoptee and formerly unhoused man, and this shit pisses me off. We really think adoption is the answer here and not HOUSING? We think destabilizing the child more is a better option than giving them both stability? I can’t. I fucking can’t.
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However, someone’s problems are because of how you voted because of what you assume about people on welfare.
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Republicans like Nikki Haley lamenting the fracture of the family unit while signing bombs that will kill families is a level of cognitive dissonance I will never understand.
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