Whose Slide Is It Anyway?
@WSIIAOfficial
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Pinned Tweet
Usually we stay away from the DC sub Reddit at all costs. That sub is to us what our slides are to civilized society.
But goddamn if this didn’t make us chuckle today. IYKYK
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The most disappointing thing about Twitter account hacks is these fucking nitwits never do anything interesting with the access. You just popped THE premier Incident Response firm and that’s all you came up with?
Absolute lamers.
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Hey fellas, go get checked. I have a very strong suspicion, and there’s some data to back this up, covid had something to do with this.
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25% fancy as I get measured for a tux. Sparkly rand0h cometh soon.
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I just beat my longest ever walk and I’m pretty fucking happy about it
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Made the switch from Christmas PJs to robes and hot damn am I comfy. Merry Everything to you and yours.
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Story time.
So, I’m 3 weeks into being completely off my antidepressant (SNRI.) I did it for a couple reasons. Vainly, I wanted to see if it was contributing to my lack of weight loss. But a 2nd, more substantive. reason popped up.
Providers never tell you what’s next.
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There are no more “30 year” careers. And anyone who tries to sell you the “we’re family” line is either lying to you, lying to themselves, or both.
A career is a collection of job segments & there isn’t a finish line. It’s just “how far can we get till we set up camp forever.”
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I now understand why old people always seemed in a bad mood when I was younger. It’s because they’ve seen all the bullshit of every sort 1000 times over and a lifetime of patience has expired.
This message brought to you by me just trying to hire a simple goddamn plumber.
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Sometimes, when I’m in a funk, I try to think of people who have made a profound impact on my life & then tell other people. I’m having a week so let’s do it. I wanna talk about
@mubix
. 🧵
Here are 4 times Rob has done a thing for me that had tangible, long lasting effects.
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It is done. I am done. More than a few times I had to channel my inner
@elkentaro
to keep moving. Thank you
@heidishmoo
&
@gdead
for tolerating my extreme back of pack pace.
This was very good for my soul.
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While I’ve had a prescription for like 20 years, I haven’t actually “needed” them until I became a…man of a certain age. Mostly driving at night.
The wife hates these new frames but I think I love them. What say you, reader?
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1. Act your wage. Pay commiserate w/ fuckery.
2. No employer is worth your sanity or heartbreak.
3. Relationships > job title.
4. “2 weeks notice” is just Boomer propaganda.
5. Your job does not have to be your passion.
6. Exec bonuses get cut before layoffs.
7. Fight me.
You have 280 characters to make seven statements. These are mine.
What are yours.
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I’m still not sure how to feel about someone coming up to us at our booth at Shmoo and admitting they were trying to fuck with our projector via flipper zero but couldn’t get it to work so they asked the model of the projector.
I wanna kinda lol but also, we’re working here. 😒
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Hey
@DarknetDiaries
fans, if you’re coming to
@shmoocon
come see us at the
@TrimarcSecurity
booth and meet
@JackRhysider
.
I’m proud to call this man a friend. Gonna be a great time.
We’re honored & thrilled to announce a special event at the Trimarc booth
@shmoocon
.
@JackRhysider
, creator and host of
@DarknetDiaries
will be signing copies of his
@BHinfoSecurity
PROMPT# edition “Jeremy In Marketing.”
1pm ET
Saturday 1/13
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Win or lose, I know I’ll be able to look back at this period of my life & be able to say I did absolutely everything I could to succeed and even some stuff I thought I couldn’t do.
I think, in the end, that’s really all you can ask of any situation.
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I don’t say this lightly because there’s nothing light about this legacy but if you are missing the vibes of
@DerbyCon
(aren’t we all) you will find them and more
@WWHackinFest
. Make this a part of your travel plans next year.
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Finally pulled the trigger on one of
@dustrial
cloaks. This thing is soooooo soft. I’m officially switching to loungewear for nighttime lobby cons from now on.
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You know what this industry absolutely does not need more of? Exclusivity. All full up on invite only shit here, thanks.
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This has been in my barn since before I bought the place 6 years ago. I don’t dare remove it. Pretty sure it would trigger Armageddon. Albeit at dial up speeds.
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Wanna see what a bidding war looks like? It looks like what happens when someone like
@LitMoose
is on the market. Tell your friends to get in line early.
Who's got two thumbs and is updating her resume?!
SEE YOU AT SHMOO!
Hit me up, folks.
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I miss giving talks quite a bit. Trouble is, I’m in Operations now (and LOVING it) but I feel like if I’m not technical at the moment idk what people might care to hear about. (I do business strategy stuff, project management/incubation.)
Thoughts?
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Baby’s 1st fill up. First actual solo ride too.
Stalls: 3
Falls: 0
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So, anyway, so far so good but certainly to be continued.
Be kind to yourselves. Love your faces.
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@HackingDave
@dougburks
“So, to reiterate, if someone doesn’t bring me a brisket at least this size, I’m eating someone in the front row.”
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I miss Among Us and Jackbox sessions with friends. They’re the only 2 things about lockdown that don’t make me twitchy thinking about them.
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My friends when I try to interact with them on here from a different account.
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I don’t normally spend time on LinkedIn but I’m pretty happy today.
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Would you like numbers breakdown as Daily, Weekly, Quarterly, or Annually?
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She kills every woodland creature that has the misfortune to cross into our yard but I love her.
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PRAISE CTHULU! Finally found a helmet that fits my watermelon head. 5X Large. FFS already.
Went on my first test ride around a parking lot. Only made it into 2nd gear, stalled twice, but I survived.
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Mini AyyyPT bought me a gift for…a day when gifts get given…because he said it matches my hat. Goddamn I love this kid.
The match is so eerily specific it’s almost ominous. Whatever. I’ll have a dope cane to match my dope hat when I die so it all works out.
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Here’s a fun little life side quest I recommend everybody do at least once. Walk into a Lowe’s, gotta be after dark. Use the “Pro” entrance not a lot people use after working hour.
Walk in with a determined gait & a look of concentration. Buy ONLY 48” bolt cutters. Storm out.
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Found abandoned on the mean streets of Washington DC by
@syntax976
@shmoocon
, we will give it the warm, loving home it deserves.
Welcome everyone, The Shmoomba.
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I’m honored to be the moderator for this upcoming
@SANSInstitute
panel on mental health challenges in cybersecurity.
@megan_roddie
,
@InfoSystir
,
@ericblee6
will be your panelists for the session. Register at the link below.
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Hi, I’m still doing this, hope you are too. I had quite a few days last year where I wasn’t feeling it. Distracted, uninterested, some days I just showed up & sat there. But I feel better in the new year and I can tell you, with 100% certainty, it’s the showing up that mattered.
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Reminder that “sunk cost fallacy” also applies to relationships. Some friendships just aren’t what they once were and it’s best to recognize when it’s time to just let it go.
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This is what happens when you let an eight-year-old host
@HackerJeopardy
.
(This is a real thing that just got said)
“You know what’s concerning? Sometimes when your friends come over they drink a lot and I get concerned for their mental health.” - Mini AyyyPT
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Is there a name for knowing, unequivocally, that a situation is gonna end in blood and fucking feathers everywhere but you are compelled to stick around just to see what happens next?
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Operation Curlz4DaGurlz (and honestly anyone else who wants to tell me I’m pretty) continues to see if I can stay interested in biceps for the next year.
Also shamelessly rediscovering Disturbed cuz I’m too old to be a snob.
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Truly the end of an era that I feel privileged to have witnessed.
Jack has done more for our community than most ever would & done it longer than most ever could. I have deep affection for the man & even deeper respect. He showed us the way, now what are we going to do with it?
Sharing this widely today, posting here as a thread.
As some may know, I left Tenable and the cybersecurity industry in 2022. After being involved in BSides continuously since before the first event in 2009, it is now time to consider the future of my engagement with BSides.
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Having myself a merry little Christmas Eve. Not pictured, the mother of all CE libations: hot apple cider and caramel vodka. 🔥🔥🔥
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My black and orange dyed hair has faded to 🌈 & this old woman asked very innocently if I get asked if I’m gay.
I said no but my stock response would be: “Why? Are you asking me to dinner?”
A free prime rib is a free prime rib.
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After clearing out the other 2/3 of The Barn,
@bigendiansmalls
influenced me to start googling how much a mainframe costs.
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One of the saddest things about
@shmoocon
ending its run next year is that, after 8 years, I finally figured how the goddamn elevators work.
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And when I talk to someone or they interact with me on here & tell me they found value in a thing I did, it refills my tank for the next go round.
So,
@mubix
, lest you ever think your influence doesn’t matter, I hope I’m that One Person today. You changed my life.
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Halfway into my trek across the grand geography that is Rhode Island, I was getting a bit melancholy. Nary a woodland creature to be seen. That is until I ran across the ever elusive native species known as
@securityweekly
.
Approach with caution. They lure you with cuddles.
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We were warned. We didn’t listen. Now, we will suffer.
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I think leaving a con the day after is almost worse. Leaving after closing with a rush of people is like just leaving a party.
Even after as many cons as I’ve been to, the silence of a once boisterous hotel lobby filled to the ceiling with the sounds of my friends is…jarring.
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This is one of the most satisfying videos I’ve ever watched.
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I'm feeling spicy tonight. Who wants to argue with me?
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Behold, the mighty Platypus, patron saint of shit built by committee.
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I want it known i had at one responsible night
@shmoocon
. I was fed and in bed by midnight like a goddamn Gremlin.
Except now I’m rested and I can’t go back to sleep because
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Has anyone ever paid a professional to help them update/create their resume? If so, who did you use? Asking for a frustrated friend.
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Do I know any red teams looking for subcontractors for q4 rush? I have a filthy red teamer friend that would like to earn a few extra dollarbucks
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Keep those bellies full to avoid the hangovers tomorrow. Happily provided by
@TrimarcSecurity
. 9pm tonight. No strings attached, no pitches, just grub. ❤️❤️
To all our hungry
@shmoocon
attendees, Trimarc will be providing a ludicrous amount of pizza and crazy bread at 9pm tonight in the Hilton lobby. Look for for the Trimarc tables!
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Before I go on, meds are GOOD. Its a fantastic tool to give you some breathing room to unfuck what needs unfucked. Sometimes that thing is permafucked & meds are just what you need all the time.
Seek them, find for what works, get better. Better living through chemistry. Now…
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From this day forward it’s no longer “Elf on the shelf” in my household. It’s now “Spot The Narc”.
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I call this exhibit “Out of My Technical Depth”.
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One of the best movie quips in cinematic history:
“You’re nothing but a common thief.”
“I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane, and since I’m moving up to kidnapping you should be more polite.”
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Quick, someone make me a Certified Novell Netware 5 Administrator hoodie so I can throw money at you.
This but a tech hoodie with all the certs you have 🔥😂
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Layoffs during the holidays are despicable, craven, cowardly, and I am speaking directly to
@Broadcom
.
Seeing layoffs before the holidays always turns my stomach.
I will never understand the amount of people willing to sell their soul for greed, especially at a time of year that's hardest on people.
It must be cold and miserable at the top.
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A gift from a dear friend. Highly recommend.
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This is universally true. Conduct your professional lives accordingly.
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4 GODDAMN YEARS. That’s how long I couldn’t figure out how to fix these stupid doors. Turns out I just wasn’t observant enough.
I was trying to take the whole goddamn door off. I credit my ability to slow down and figure it TF out entirely to hanging out with hackers.
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Not often I come across a business that deserves a good skewering for security, sales, and customer success fails. My Holy Trinity of hills I’ll die on.
If anyone ever asks you to leave your physical ID with them that’s not a goddamn government building, roast TF outta them.
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Blowing fish breath kisses to my Chicago
@BlueTeamCon
friends from my layover in ORD.
ps. Someone find Carl and tell him to call me.
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We stopping using this for our content at Trimarc starting this year, on purpose, for this exact reason. I used to roll my eyes a bit but then I met more people doing this work in our industry and it’s a no brainer.
Dear
@qualys
you should stop using the acronym CSAM, and you should definitely stop doing post event marketing asking how CSAM can help my enterprise.
CSAM means something else entirely and is extremely triggering for professionals who have come across it during their day job.
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I passed another adulting milestone today and it only took me 22 years into my entire career. I have maxed out my 401k contributions.
Hopefully it still matters when the whole capitalism thing collapses.
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