Not an Asset to the Abbey
@SaraLFowler
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Transfiguring the commonplace. Usually thinking about death and Anglicanism. Otherwise, cookbooks, cats, and reading.
Joined February 2015
@foreverimbetter And when the community is so insular that “just learn a trade” is not a viable answer. That doesn’t help much if the few jobs go to people’s cousin’s friend’s neighbor by default.
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@theashleyray I’m a millennial and I will say I got a LOT of BS from some friends when I started dating a man in his 40s. I’m thirty with an apartment, a 401k, and cats, I promise I’m not being preyed on by a fellow adult.
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@MissalModernist The real problem is that both of those categories keep someone from properly enjoying The Sound of Music.
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@oldenoughtosay Aren’t people given a free pass for what they say during birth? My mom looked my dad dead in the eye and said “Don’t touch me!” as he dabbed her for head with cool water and they’re still happily married thirty years later.
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@masha1824 “Expect full 50/50 with everything”. What do you bet he wants a woman to split the bills, have no control over the finances, and yet handle the lion’s share of domestic labor?.
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@svershbow I am fully in the “dogs don’t belong inside in most restaurants” camp and this good boy is doing just fine.
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@Hispeedlowdrug These trucks are actually more useful and economical than the gas-guzzling living rooms on wheels red staters fetishize, but okay.
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@bilbosfootcomb They talk about appreciating hard work and masculinity and grilled meat and then they’re offended by dudes who combine all of those qualities to run a business that actually serves their community.
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@ThePujaTeli @SydneyLWatson Cumin, cardamom, mustard seed, 10 different kinds of chili, fenugreek - these all taste different and they don’t taste like dirt to me.
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@Richard_Vixen With this reaction, I bet it wasn’t the first time he’d ruined something she cared about because “tee hee” and then waited for her to prove she was “unreasonable”.
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@Snukkems_Art @definitelydrewb @esjesjesj Also like…train a dog before you take them out hunting and confine them post hunt when they’re excited. This is not rocket surgery, people.
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@luinalaska @withstgeorge Lots of men enjoy trying to change women to prove their power to themselves, and it’s garbage behavior.
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@leahfrombklyn It’s also worth noting that the gender disparities, in terms of both labor and finances, in this area, are WILD.
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@megantheevalium These people are better dating prospects than the people scoffing at them and the scoffers know it.
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@TakedownMRAs Spoiler alert: if you support men who hate women it won’t make them hate you any less. At best you’ll get conditional approval until you do something “wrong” and get kicked to the curb.
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@foreverimbetter I’ve also known very welcoming small towns and those that were hostile to “outsiders”, often with a pretty broad definition of “outsiders”. It can be hard to tell which until you get there.
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@bwitt722 Stocking stuffers are how you keep your favorite/closest people stocked with hand cream, lip balm, lipstick if they wear it, pens or pen cartridges, perfume or cologne, stickers, etc. Not for anything pricy!.
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@Richard_Vixen How dare she “try to take half of HIS stuff” (she contributed even if she wasn’t earning) and “take his kids (even abusive fathers are reliably granted custody if they TRY)?.
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@dhaaruni Either make themselves more eligible on the dating market and find someone or get made fun of by less attractive men on the internet for prioritizing career, hobbies, and pets if dating doesn’t work out.
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@lindaholmes @hels Larger bodies look so especially good in well-fitted and well-draped clothes, but the styling and photography choices these brands make so often betray that they think larger bodies CAN’T look good and this unflattering garbage is the best they can do.
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@iconawrites Especially medieval into Victorian settings! “I’m too good to sit inside sewing.” Meanwhile textile work was both a path to economic independence and an emotional and creative outlet for many women. Every time I see Mary Queen of Scots’ embroidery from her captivity I weep.
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@svershbow They’re straight up comms experts. I’m over here like “I can do that stew better than they can. That’s not what they’re selling!” And I’ve done comms for major brands!.
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@FrankenLclr @Grosdoriane Which is why the video is so important. Many of those were shown by videos to be a wave, instead of a deliberate, angular, stiff-armed salute to a cheering crowd who support mass deportations + restricting women to children, cooking, and church…what does that remind me of?.
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@WomnOfValor My dad picks up my parents’ cat at 2 am when he cries. My boyfriend is allergic to cats but buys mine toys. A life with cats is not necessarily a life without men but it is a way to filter out the terrible ones.
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@iSmashFizzle She is earnest in the best way and that’s why people hated her. Effortlessness is a myth.
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@rachelmillman Many men “don’t like cats” or “don’t like babies” and then when they see one they need an outlet for their desire to be tender and sweet to something so they go all out. May they have many good years together!.
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@oldenoughtosay Just had a cat tackle me because I was giving his brother antibiotics, so he thought he needed to defend him, and fell HARD off my desk chair with multiple bruises as a result. The doctor has all my sympathy.
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@gabebergado I understand that there are shoes-on houses, but I was raised to defer to the host’s preference and ideally to anticipate it without being asked.
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@clhubes Neglect would be throwing a box of Frosted Flakes at them with no milk. “I can’t cook a full meal tonight so you’re getting a ready meal/leftovers/charcuterie,” is GOOD AND NORMAL. The expectation of a full meal from scratch every night is actually unhinged.
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@rachelmillman He “hates cats” like my mom hated cats. All performative, much of it nonsense.
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@luinalaska @withstgeorge It’s really not that strange! The women I have known have mostly been healthy party hearty types who had men trying to make them tradwives against their will (and sans ring) and conservative introverted women whose boyfriends immediately tried to get them to be “adventurous”.
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@Richard_Vixen What they don’t realize is that men and women were doing the same labor across class lines. Poor women were scrubbing kids’ feces while their husbands worked in a factory and rich women were doing complex managerial work, just in the household and not the office.
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@emilykmay He LITERALLY got her pregnant when she was 15 and he was 25, from what I’ve read. She could take 9/10 of THEIR money and I would shed not one tear.
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@WomnOfValor My dad always said that if my mom worked to take care of the house and me during the day and he had a desk job, they should work together to take care of me and the house on off hours. Surprise surprise: he still has a good marriage and his daughter loves him.
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If a top-level professional athlete and a pop singer who danced for multiple hours a night on a recent tour (talk about cardio!) are being harassed for not having perfectly flat stomachs in a pap snap, it’s fair to say we live in a pretty sick culture wrt body image.
Travis Kelce defends his 'Dad bod' after Chiefs star and Taylor Swift were spotted on the beach together in the Bahamas: 'It's March!'
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@dsaorthocaucus Ah yes, “Away in a Manger”, that rigorous piece of Biblical scholarship. Has he considered that “no crying he makes” was meant to evoke an atmosphere of peace in a happy carol, rather than inform our Christology?.
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@Caroline_Marie_ This this this. I am not unsympathetic to young men as a category but the most aggrieved incels? Nada?.
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@RaxKingIsDead It’s not just wrecking the job market and giving us deeply incorrect information! It’s also threatening to take down the power grid in a summer with record heat!.
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@vylpill It is in fact inappropriate and predatory for a man in his 40s to be involved with a teenager that way, and I say this as a staunch “that woman in her early 20s knows what she’s doing and doesn’t need you to protect her” person.
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@prettycritical That’s always their solution for women who aren’t perfect tens but somehow they never suggest this for men….
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@KaseyNBailes @theashleyray It was but the fairytale narrative was absolute BS. He strung her along noncommittally for a decade because nobody blue blooded would marry him, and eventually she put her foot down and he proposed.
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Please pray urgently for a private intention. If you saw my earlier post, that’s how urgent it is.
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@moniza_hossain I grew up with a SAHM. My dad made it very clear that, a, she was working every single day, and b, it was our job to make sure she had evenings and weekends off and c, we needed to do what she asked us to because the house wasn’t just her job. If she criticized us, we responded.
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@RaxKingIsDead It is not hard to figure out the size one wants, then ask for a plain black coffee, perhaps with room for cream, without making a spectacle of oneself.
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@Richard_Vixen I have been having an argument with an incel in this thread who is legitimately trying to argue that women have a moral obligation to marry men they find unattractive to fix a too-low birth rate.
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@gabebergado If the host has to ask me to take my shoes off, rather than me seeing their shoe situation and responding immediately, I feel terrible shame.
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@tweetslikehoney There’s dark humor in the proverbial trenches (acceptable) and then there’s posting about it on social media in identifiable ways (not acceptable).
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@CourtneyFHoward @Hispeedlowdrug @lubas_tom I have NO desire to take anyone’s larger truck away (though height restrictions should probably be on the table at some point), I just want to be able to buy a little truck.
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@MoiraDonegan @Ruth_Mensch That boy is ALL Bouvier. Kennedy, Fitzgerald, and Schlossberg? Not so much.
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@vocalcry But won’t someone think of the poor men, who are all owed a super-hot nympho virgin rocket scientist housewife regardless of their own qualities?.
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This is funny because I spent my entire childhood watching my 6’1 former Marine officer dad sit in the corner of family parties scanning the room for chores he could help with or colicky babies he could stand and dance with so their mom could have some fun.
@emilykmay Men are reactive, women are proactive. Men show helpfulness and thoughtfulness differently than women do. If you want someone who demonstrates these traits the same way you do, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
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@captain_mrs I am so glad I was raised by a mom who (despite a boundary issue or two of her own - she interrupts a lot) taught me that her body was not my body and sometimes she needed to be left alone to do chores or read a book.
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@ThePujaTeli @SydneyLWatson Even my heat-averse Republican Dad loves Indian food because it’s simply tasty. When I stayed home in the fall of 2020 the parents were all about my Monisha Bharadwaj cookbook. Not sure what’s up with these most recent right wing white supremacist culture warriors.
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@nickgraynews As a woman in that age bracket who’s happily seeing someone older but still being bombarded with empty egg carton memes, do men get any backlash for “waiting too long” or “being too picky” or is that just for women?.
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@feederofcats This breaks my heart. Lots of people turned down my cats because they were “too old” at 4-6 months. Meanwhile, I had misgivings because I worried 6 months was too young! All I can say is the other prospective adopters missed out.
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@ohmland28 @Richard_Vixen Context matters here, I think? I had one deliberately cruel ex who loved to rile me up, again, by being deliberately cruel. They were small things but after so much I’d snap and yell. If my current boyfriend playfully needles me, it’s very easy to assume good intent on his part.
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@girl_bartelby OOOF. Even though I went to prep school and came from a two graduate degree family, I was encouraged to play the Ohio Valley card for all it was worth. And family who opposed “DEI” didn’t see this as at all problematic.
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@douglaschu_ The most emphatic thing my boyfriend who lived in Japan for a while told me after he got me my new rice cooker was “Leftover rice is not that scary.”.
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@bananafitz After a cat we thought was lost returned, my dad greeted him with “Cecil, we’re SO GLAD you’re HOME!” every morning for months.
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Can these men please f*** off? Even in the most trad framework imaginable, pancake breakfasts are how they meet their tradwives. At this point I can only assume their perspective comes down to “girls icky”.
‘Pancake breakfasts’ are not doing anything for inspiring and building up the next generation of young men in our faith.
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White person and Democrat who actually grew up in Appalachia here: Diet Mountain Dew never made anyone think I was racist when I ordered it, but nice cultural posturing there, buddy.
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@PabloPeniche @owen_roe Everyone in the country was NOT under house arrest for 2 years. I lived in the initial epicenter of COVID spread in the US and after a few months it was mostly loosely enforced mask regulations and a move to outdoor dining.
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@oldenoughtosay The cat who nearly caused a fatality is the little guy. Much like thirty pounds of corgi, ten pounds of cat can cause more problems than you’d think.
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@FrankenLclr @Grosdoriane Have YOU ever seen someone who thinks he’s oh-so-funny manufacture tissue-paper-thin plausible deniability? Perhaps that awful boy who sat next to you in middle school and always had an excuse for why he was making the teacher’s life hell?.
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@FixedAirHeather @masha1824 My dad growing up actually DID 50/50 and the secret is that 50/50 looks like 90/10 in some areas and 40/60 in others, but always requires both partners to respect the other’s contributions.
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@svershbow I know one reasonable person who doesn’t like dogs AT ALL and he is only mad if people don’t control their dogs or they’re misbehaving in indoor spaces where they shouldn’t be in the first place.
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@TheFoxMatriarch I would sooner set my own hair on fire than be romantically involved with a man who disparaged me for reading and promised to keep me from doing it.
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@Richard_Vixen This is how we get mothers-in-law stalking their children’s hedges offering opinions about how to make green beans the best way.
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@dsaorthocaucus @benedictus The fact that he threw a tantrum when the pediatrician suggested spacing births might be best for the health of mother and babies… When this has been common knowledge for absolute ages and can be compatible with traditional Catholic social teaching…. Agh.
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Also, today, on St. Thomas’s feast day, I give thanks for St. Thomas Fifth Ave. I walked by on my lunch break just as noonday Eucharist was beginning and I left knowing I had come back to my faith and would stay. IMO, it’s also one of the prettiest churches in the country.
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The issue, Meg, is that abusers also want to be the absolute authorities in their kids’ lives. Access to mandatory reporters saves lives.
Parents, you need to understand that many child-serving institutions no longer view you as THE authority in your child’s life. Example: Two years ago I took my 7-year-old daughter to the ER to rule out appendicitis where she was seen by a male doctor (who was wearing a he/him
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@endofanerajc This is such a sweet video, and I suspect this sweet couple would not appreciate this conclusion being drawn from their once in a lifetime moment.
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@emilykmay When I was thirteen I called my mom “just a housewife”. I cannot remember another time that my mild-mannered and kind dad ever yelled at me like that, before or since.
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@wilfredchan @ourobororoboruo Ew. This is a place for buying food, not for staging unsanitary photoshoots without permission. They should show BASIC respect for owners, staff, and their fellow customers. This is not complex.
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@Hispeedlowdrug I grew up on a farm + witnessed my dad move heaven and earth to get a simple, useful single cab Silverado suitable for hauling things about 15 years ago. The real toys are the phallic substitutes Freud would have had a field day with that cost about as much as a house.
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@madisontayt_ The third date surprise! I have a committed partner and don’t just want to see you on the side in an open relationship, I want you to submit to monthly “check ins” where I tell you how little you mean to me by comparison but demand so much energy you can’t find a serious partner!.
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Sometimes you don’t want to cook. Sometimes you just want an entire can of olives, fuet, and some seriously good Bordeaux. And that’s okay. You can have this, as a treat.
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@oldenoughtosay He is currently lying next to me purring because just because he almost killed me is no reason for him not to get cuddles.
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@Tanishaevonne @RepSummerLee #PA12 is full of hardworking families in a wide range of socioeconomic circumstances. My family’s been there since the 1790s and through many reversals of fortune, they maintained pride and dignity, as I’m sure the vast majority of @RepSummerLee’s constituents do. SO offensive.
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@dissproportion And high-performing children, especially girls, are often used as teacher’s deputies while being held back from what they can achieve - so not only are they bored, they now have a lower-performing bully’s target on their back, too.
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@graceelavery My parents are pretty traditional but my dad handled night feedings. Should this make the gendercrits froth at the mouth?.
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@deathbybadger I spent many years thinking if someone doesn’t directly offer something, it would be rude for me to ask. In some of my friends’ families, asking (for seconds, another drink, etc) would be seen as an implication they had failed in their duties as host.
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@brandonenorth @pourfairelevide Excuse me? Some of laziest humanities students I know came from privileged backgrounds and I know a number of working class students who came to college for the greatest academic intensity they could manage.
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@literElly As a young cishet girl who didn’t feel she was doing girlhood right, I never once felt the pressure the fear mongers are describing and I never wanted to consider these procedures. My trans friends did, desperately, even before they knew how to get them or the specifics.
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@AndrewBeckUSA @Maury7707 That is Donald Trump, Andrew. He’s bragged about his womanizing and criminal or criminal adjacent activities - not borne out of desperation but mere greed or lust - for ages. Plus, the man is terminally tacky. You must realize this.
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