Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
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Lightly brain damaged 6ft 2in white trash polymath
The Berkshires
Joined July 2022
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I've heard all these stories about people with twitter connections meeting IRL and forming beautiful friendships and relationships. I would like that. I'm a mid 40's handyman with a strange bio and a young son in Western MA. Interested in schizo bros and cute single mothers.
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Watching this kind frenetically edited, low-information high-stimulation stuff irritates me to no end. Compare to old PBS cooking shows, which were edited with long slow shots to teach rather than dazzle. This guy isn't a food artist, he's a maker of strobing algorithm bait.
There are some truly talent artists walking around. For all the negatives of social media, at least we get to see these.
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Opened the basement door and unexpectedly saw this fine example of rabid attention to detail and workman's pride. I rather doubt anyone has ever appreciated this outside of a few random trades guys. Not enough room in the cramped space to take a better picture.
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Social media has unmoored people from all sense of what art and learning actually are. This is not art. This is a commercial transaction where you are the product. Your attention is being farmed with hyperstimulating videos and re-sold in tiny increments to the highest bidder.
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What do you learn from this exactly? Nothing. It doesn't explain WHY he's doing stuff. It doesn't communicate HOW to do things yourself. It contains no recipe, no narrative, no explanation. It's pure spectacle. Don't waste your life staring at this kind of empty spectacle.
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Ten years ago this guy rode his fixie to the coffee shop. Now he drives his Japanese toy truck to the Home Depot. The eternal hipster, always eager to pay more for less utility to avoid the horrible fate of being mistaken for a normal person.
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Growing up poor I learned that NOBODY ever has to feed you, and if they do you should damn well be grateful and show it. When I work 12 hours now, I have to cook my own food. I would cry manly tears of joy if someone handed me a plate of home cooked food when I came home.
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@OldHollowTree
The one I helped build when I was in elementary school back in the day degraded in about 30 years and needed to be torn down. It started to rot, ends got splintery, etc... I'm guessing just short lifespan did them in. Metal playground stuff from the 60's is still usable.
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@Redbarn318
Totally. I don't know how people can watch this stuff. I find it quite irritating after like 10 seconds.
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Little boys don't make sense to women because boys are naturally inclined towards war and killing, BARELY tempered by love for family. Why do boys constantly talk about violent and gruesome things? Because they are designed to be ready to kill enemies with a rock to defend you.
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Most wild edibles are garbage-tier novelty foods. Knowing how to forage bitter greens isn't any kind of meaningful buffer against food shortages, and your ancestors knew this, that's why they had gardens and farms. Berries, nuts, and mushrooms are kinda exceptions.
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The way people at my local Aldi refuse to lock the carts up like obedient and orderly Germans, and instead leave them parked with the quarter inserted, makes me proud to be an American.
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I absolutely do not believe any man who says he's too cool for this Appalachian naiad. Stop even pretending bro, if this sweet young lady swam up to you, with or without the catfish, and smiled a sweet smile you'd melt like a sugar cube in the rain.
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Yesterday's maple syrup yield was 2.7 gallons. Very pleased with myself and considering doing more taps next year and selling syrup in a roadside stand. Probably a dumb idea, but optimism and sugar go well together.
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@DHFabian1
Yeah my dad was a plumber so I spent a lot of quality time in my youth handing him tools and listening to him curse at the hack job somebody else did that he now had to fix.
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This may not look like much, but this homebrew RO system is pulling about 5 gallons of water/hr out of my maple sap. With this I'm going to halve the amount of boiling and firewood I need to use. I just got half of my weekends back for the next month.
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Amusing how few people understand how non-office businesses work. Many are mystified about why all arborists charge so much. They seem unable to comprehend the capital and overhead expenses involved in removing entire trees. Or above all, that risk is very, very expensive.
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@konahead
Huh. In my experience crawling around in basements troubleshooting, this level of precision and tidiness is rare.
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@myth_pilot
I did this and it was awesome. Also amazing with slices of honeydew melon in the summer. I saved the skin/fat chunks and when the ham was done I rendered the fat, and made pork rinds from the skin. It was amazing.
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@extradeadjcb
If this somehow disappoints you, you are extremely out of touch with who the employees at a waffle house are. She seems pretty cool, and would definitely be WAY better to have at your side in a fight than whatever your weird fantasy girl is.
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@ericraum
There are two tools available, they cost roughly the same. One is 4x as capable as the other. Which is a better tool for general use?
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My ex-wife is at my house moving her stuff out today, and she is so crazy and vengeful that I can't leave anything there. So I'm driving around town with all of my cash, computers, and guns in my truck. I feel like a character in a Hunter s Thompson book, ready to go to Mexico.
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Check out the monster, mortared in hinge pins on this building. What the hell were they hanging on those, bulletproof plates? This is the back of an old 3 story main st retail building in New England. All the windows all the way up have these, so it's not just ground lvl security
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A cute woman who I have a thing for heard I'm sick and just brought me chicken soup. Is this a motherly or a wifely or a friendly thing? Big differences between the three. I have no ability to objectively evaluate the situation.
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Let me explain Why Wood Stoves? to all the people who don't get why New England has lots of people burning wood, or who like to imply that chuds with wood stoves are too poor and/or stupid to use other heat sources.
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I used to eat other kid's pizza crusts for lunch because I didn't have any money and my family was too dysfunctional to fill out the paperwork for poor people discounted school lunches. If makes me mac n cheese and good looking wings I'm in HEAVEN.
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People arguing that boredom is fine, ackshually, must not remember being a kid. My primary memory of education at "good" public schools in MA was boredom combined with frustration at being forced to jump through hoops like a trained dog rather than doing ANYTHING useful at all.
I think we underrate how hard it is to provide education to a range of abilities at scale. If the smart kids are bored, that’s an okay outcome.
Most interventions don’t work at scale! School kind of does some stuff! That’s pretty good!
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@BrianMannADK
Good to see that NPR continues it's LALALA I CANT HEARYOU method of processing criticism from it's former listeners. If I were running an enterprise and it lost a large chunk of it's users, I'd pay attention and seek to understand why and regain those lost users. Not NPR though!
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@MatthewRideout
@LordCarsonEsq
You literally don't know what you're talking about. I could make three phone calls and assemble the team to build this. Finding the customer willing to pay for that much skilled hand labor is another thing entirely.
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This may not look exciting, but it's super awesome for me. The addition of the blower fan and rebuilding for different airflow means I'm boiling sap with far less smoke and ash tainting the flavor, and I'm using less wood.
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@Christo93871820
@extradeadjcb
I dunno man, in my experience pretty much every poor person in the south talks like this, regardless of race. There is some variation, but it's a class thing.
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@ImFatRN
Also:
"Good enough for the girls I go out with"
"Good enough for government work"
"Looks good from my couch"
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@JoePaddington
Yep. Some of these pipes have 3-4 more bends going around more structural stuff before they disappear into the wall and ceiling. Only soldered fittings are the valves, everything else looks like this.
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My area of New England is absolutely chock full of these old water power mill/factory sites. This one is a rather impressive 20ft tall cut stone dam with a big spillway over on the right. A dream of mine is to somehow restore one of these sites to productive use.
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Why burn wood when you can operate a thermostat? Because it makes economic sense, and because New England has a lot of able bodied people who aren't lazy and want warm houses, that's why.
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I read somewhere that historically, most men died in war and most women died in childbirth. Keep this in mind and the interests of children make perfect sense. They are preparing for their archetypal life missions. The fallback basic factory setting for a boy is warrior.
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I'm working hard to undo the fear based conditioning my deranged ex-wife is trying to program our son with. She had him convinced he couldn't ride a bike without training wheels because it's dangerous. I convinced him to be brave and do it anyway. So proud of him.
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This is beautiful, like a Frazetta painting brought to life. These kids are winning at life and don't even pretend they aren't.
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You don't get strong men ready to defend the family/community/nation against predators without cute little boys fantasizing about bloodshed. Parents need to civilize and channel these urges appropriately, but you can't get rid of them.
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Yesterday's maple syrup yield is just short of 3 gallons. New boiler design and RO system are smashing successes. This only took about 3 wheelbarrows of wood.
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@GJangweed
Totally. I watched a lot of Julia Child and Jaques Pepin reruns on PBS and they so totally outclass this tiktok stuff it's not even funny.
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@JoshBoa17902629
Thank you Mr. code inspector I'll let the homeowners know that a guy on twitter has failed their heating system.
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If I could send a message back in time and explain to my great grandparents how much roast beef I eat, they'd be so proud thinking their descendants had ascended to the nobility.
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How little boys and girls play, the things they fantasize about, are the subconscious or archetypal parts preparing them for the future. You don't SUDDENLY become something you aren't, you become a father or mother or soldier or nurse because you were always meant to be that.
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Much of this wood gets processed into firewood and sold locally. Then there are people thinning their own property for firewood, and private tree services cutting residential trees, like me. The sustainable harvest of firewood is around 1 cord/acre/year in a well managed forest.
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100% accurate class test: Suggest that someone unironically go to the county fair. Chuds, no matter their current earning power, are like hell yeah fairs are awesome! PMC people, no matter how many carhartt logos on their clothes, get uncomfortable, as if I just farted loudly.
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New England is almost entirely covered with regrowth hardwood forest. The climax ecosystem in most of NE is mixed hardwood forest. Without active and ongoing maintenance, the forest will rapidly regrow. 100 years ago most of NE was clear cut, now it's full of hardwood.
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@OldHollowTree
I make beautiful butt logs, ramp butter, and 6yo kids who like doing yard work.
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@Elnath1984
A woman who appreciates fine plumbing sounds like a keeper. You better lock that down son.
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I suddenly gained over 150 new followers. I hate to break it to them that this isn't a fancy big brain cultural critic account, and more of a problematic blue collar crank who tweets when bored account.
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New England is a huge swath of forest that HAS to be thinned, and this generates large amounts of wood that HAS to be disposed of somehow. The stuff that makes bad lumber gets burned, turning a waste stream into cozy houses.
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In my small county the utility companies and towns employ something like 120 men, full time, year round, cutting just along power lines and roads. They generate something north of 10 loaded log trucks every day of hardwood that needs to be gotten rid of somehow.
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I had to euthanize a chick because it's leg wasn't working and it couldn't get to the water. Today my son was telling everyone at school about how I kill chickens with my bare hands. I had to have a little chat with him about how that might freak out his more delicate classmates
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My non-interventionist style of child supervision continues to alarm even the most ardent free-range parenting types. Suggesting gently to an agitated mother that it's an option to simply let the boys punch each other is not making me any friends today. It's lonely being right.
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My friend's 6yo girl today stole my stuff, hid it, taunted me. So I threatened to hold her up by her ankles and shake her until she gave my stuff back. She sassed me some more, so I followed through, and she immediately began hysterical shrieking and crying as if being tortured.
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Wrong. It's a classic atomized city dweller idea to think that centralized gigantism is the answer to everything. The answer is already here in it's pure and unadulterated form, in the multitudes of wholesome county and regional fairs already in existence all over America.
This is a great idea. A massive red state fair. A big beautiful expo of unapologetic heartland Americana.
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Woman I'm going on a date with soon just "set expectations" telling me that she's no longer a "good hippie" because she now has electricity, and that she comes from a line of sturdy German farm women and is no string bean. She doesn't get that she's telling me she's beautiful.
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My first act as iron-fisted dictator would be to make it so that there are maybe a max of 10 carburetor and air filter types for small engines. I should be able to interchange parts off similar-sized engines. The current system of unique snowflake parts is maddening.
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@SwordMercury
finally got to write about his unified Burger theory of civilizational decline.
I'll still be fuming and crying about this the next time I take my kid out to five guys and pay 30 bucks.
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A regrowing forest starts with a lot of small trees, then they compete for resources, and the losers die off. This means standing dead trees that fall apart and fall over. Falling trees are a problem for things like power lines, houses, and roads.
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@Alexandria67423
We are both single, and she knows how I feel about her. She is going through a terrible divorce and has made it clear she isn't ready to date right now, which I totally understand. She has been keeping her distance, so this soup is an interesting new development.
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This amazing thingamabob was in the antique engines area at the fair, with it's proud inventor on hand to demo it. It's a self propelled frankenmachine log skid/sawmill/wood splitter made from old jeeps and scrap parts from perhaps 25 different farm machines. An American beauty.
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Dad Twitter says you can take small steps towards a happy life of family and community, and over time your efforts will make positive change for yourself, your family, and outward. Through individual effort comes personal and societal power.
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@SaraLFowler
I regret to inform you that you've got no idea what you're talking about. I use a truck for work every day, and I can assure you that, while they may be cool toys, Japanese micro trucks are a totally inadequate work vehicle for 99% of American users.
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To keep civilization running smoothly, large amounts of hardwood has to be cut just along the roads, near buildings, and near utilities. Then there is also thinning trees for forest health, aesthetics, and firewood/lumber.
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I did a wilderness survival class in my youth and some of the guys I was with went all in for foraging, ate a ton of blackberries, got the shits, and had to evacuate. I've been a foraging skeptic ever since.
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Helpful reminder: chainsaw mufflers get hot, and stay hot for a while.
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There's a lot of insurance involved in such an enterprise, then all those large trucks and tractors and so forth that arrive to make the tree disappear are not free. That check you write an arborist mostly goes to insurance and equipment financing companies. Risk is expensive.
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My corner of twitter is all fathers, mothers, engineers, farmers, and various trades guys. Common thread seems to be serious, daily engagement with reality that will bite your ass if you try to get too abstract and theoretical. Material Reality Twitter.
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This conversation seems like one between Dad Twitter and Young Man Twitter. Dad Twitter is not all dads, and Young Man Twitter includes some cynical older men. What distinguishes them is the story they are telling each other about the world.
The dissident right seem to see any effort to improve your life as giving up. You are supposed to stay close to the levers of power, suffering the worst of modernity, until your side wins at some unknown future date. That seems like giving up to me.
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I just gave some people who were wondering why paving is expensive an explanation of the asphalt supply chain starting at the oil wells, with side trips through oil refineries, how hot mix plants work, and the concept of embodied energy. That'll teach them to ask me questions.
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I would like to know when LatinX people from the Bronx started saying "y'all". Seems that y'all has undergone a strange mutation from being exclusively Southern/low class coded to Northern woke liberal coded.
Is there a more useless person alive than AOC's fiancé?
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I'm up on a roof taking apart an old chimney. Angry lady comes out and yells at me for making noise while shes trying to sleep. 30 seconds later this chunk of brick makes a very improbable sideways bounce and launches through my truck window. I'm pretty convinced she's a witch.
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Guy at the Walmart just gave me a knowing grin and said I have a cool shirt. My first IRL recognition by a fellow traveller.
@GoodOlBoysPod
Chuds stay winning.
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My grandfather was dying when I was a kid and his doctors were like, your organs are failing any last requests? Grandpa asked my dad to get him some beer, so my dad went out and got a six of Genny cream. They had a few beers, Grandpa miraculously recovered and lived 15 more years
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@meghaverma_art
How exactly does pointing towards buying a house and land = "You will own nothing"? This post makes no sense at all.
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@SwordMercury
These replies are insane. If the US could really just steamroll Iran, we'd have done it already multiple times.
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Things are going great. No, homeowners, you don't need to come out and look, I've got it allllll under control.
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@Heather_in_WI
To be fair, the nutritional quality of scraps and free range can vary wildly, and at the extreme ends can negatively affect egg production/bird health. To cover everyone the Chickens for Dummies line is commercial feed only. People who know what they are doing can ignore that.
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I genuinely love my area, warts and all. I love the decaying mills, the neck tat in the Wal Mart, and the trailer trash as much as I love the smell of wet trees after a rain. I'm not superior to any of it, because this is where I come from, and who I am.
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Trees are LARGE and HEAVY. If they fall wrong PEOPLE DIE and important things like YOUR HOUSE will be destroyed. I operate a chainsaw (the most dangerous powered outdoor equipment) with one hand while hanging on a rope 70ft in the air and car-sized chunks of wood fall around me.
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I just learned that my relatives don't want to pay $5 a dozen for my good backyard eggs, even though part of that goes to my son's Lego fund. Too expensive. These are the same people who will buy 10 boxes of girl scout cookies from strangers. Odd priorities, but ok.
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@OldHollowTree
I lost the business I'd put everything into to a combination of covid and a nuclear divorce. I had to declare bankruptcy and start all over. My ex has spent two years trying to financially ruin me and take my son away. Having to do the best I can for my son has kept me going.
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Few things arouse a parent's suspicion more than a 6 year old loudly announcing from down the hallway "I'm going to wash my hands for no reason!"
Whatever is going on here is not good.
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