Kirsten Ishihapa
@Longviewmayor
Followers
1,661
Following
738
Media
2,694
Statuses
15,773
Fake mayor of the city of Racism. Board of Regents of Trans and Homophobia. All the -isms, all the -phobias, all the time. AAVE professional translator.
Longview, TX
Joined June 2014
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Pinned Tweet
Throwback to 2014 when my realest homie replied to my tweet.
"
@Longviewmayor
:
@realDonaldTrump
you're up at 5 am and you're awake at 1am. How do you have so much energy? Seriously!?" Good genes!
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@9mm_smg
They call it the “Disney rash” because Disney is literally the only place where they walk further than 20 feet.
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@GarbageHuman24
Good news folks! Charges dropped! The blacks who would have to testify would also be charged with theft, so they had to drop the case.
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4K
@AzelfDaGirl
“Mr Beast would singlehandedly be the best content creator on YouTube if he sues this bitch into debt”
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@superloafcat
“What’s the deal with Hamas? They aren’t funny, and there are less of them now!”
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@ObamaMalik
Wow he looks really gay in that picture. And I’m not trying to be edgy or funny. He looks GAY.
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1K
@StepSnake
@ReviewsPossum
@SirMikey117
“Your honor I was just making a donation to their future college good boy fund”
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@ComradeDoyIe
My college roommate’s dad told us to never marry an elementary school teacher because they come home and treat you like they treated the kids all day. This woman proves it.
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@HazelAppleyard_
“Tyrone was really sweet at first and I didn’t know he was going to leave me so fast and then break my orbital bone.”
Tyrone:
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@TheGattoniCelli
“We don’t need farmers for our food. We can just buy it at the bodega.” - this guy
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@sweatystartup
“Sorry kid, I need a pic of you crying to post on my X feed. You know the drill.”
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@ScottAdamsSays
A week later it’s like I never even said it. They are back to the original programming.
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@RepSylviaGarcia
It’s funny that politicians only care about things when it inconveniences them directly.
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@Tomhennessey69
I worked at a low income school many moons ago. There was a 15 year old black girl who was so fat that she barely fit in the desk. This girl reminds me of her proportions.
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@hartgoat
DO NOT FUCK AROUND AND TELL COPS YOU ARE A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN. They put you on a domestic terrorism list and that pops up inthe system every time you are stopped by the police.
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@Woldwyrd
Imagine living in a nation that conquered the free world and thinking that an Afghani enriches your culture.
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@hayasaka_aryan
Imagine coming up with 1000 ways to trick god instead of just fasting and not opening your appliances for 24 hours.
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@Muhsoci0factors
She’s laughing now because she thinks it’s going to be $200. She’s going to cry racism when they get the bill and it’s $2500.
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@RichardHanania
“Wtf are they doing here?” - every other tourist they encountered on that trip
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@krime_1
Crimes that should be punishable by death:
Jumping turnstiles
EBT fraud
Saying “I can’t breathe” when being arrested
Calling the cop “bro”
Saying “I didn’t do nothing” when clearly you did
Selling loosies
Running from the police
Flash mobs of crime
Street takeovers
Roving
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@TalbertSwan
Without money from the NBA the WNBA would fold. The race of the players has nothing to do with it.
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@lucymcbath
Sorry for your loss but I’m not giving up my rights because of a tragedy. If that were the norm then the government would manufacture tragedies to erode all of my rights.
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@JUSTcatmeme
I bet that dude says his name is “monkeys” every time he orders praying for something like this to happen.
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@BIPOCracism
@SipSpic
That is a still from a 30 year old man punching a 12 year old who was singing in the corner to raise money for his high school band. The N got 7 years for it.
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@marycatedelvey
Did you write this? It’s genius. You should be very proud of this. This is what SNL would be like if it was actually funny.
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@MedGold_
The key to making things like that successful is to play Christian music. They avoid it like the plague.
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@stridinstrider
He’s not going to sleep with you, Chris. Wait, who am I kidding - he probably will.
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@bizlet7
He’s not royal blood and he knows it and they know it. He’s the son of Diana’s bodyguard.
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@hartgoat
“Boo hoo these people had to pay $30 to get to wal mart because they trashed and stole from the one that used to be close to them”
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@anarchoboognish
GM. Always call the police on someone panhandling or breaking any public nuisance laws. It’s your duty as an American.
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@thisiskashmir
@rjflawles_
X doesn’t allow you to pay for premium with EBT cards unfortunately.
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@Darcy4CO
Yes it’s bad for the employer to hire one, but what is more disturbing is that a person-of-gender specifically sought out a pediatric facility to employ them.
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@Pinko69420
The real lesson here is that you don’t learn much of any value past middle school
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@Liutauras_
>hits on girl with a black accent and uses black vernacular
>gets arrested
>screams “I’m from America” in his whitest voice possible
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@TheSimpsons
It’s been a solid 20+ years since I’ve seen an entire Simpson episode and it’s probably going to stay that way.
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@hartgoat
She doesn’t understand that the universal male language is violence. She just thought that taking a few shots of T would magically make her a boy.
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@GoatRoper911
@AndB3Happy
I was in that thread. The video was the icing on the cake. Op delivered.
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@NewRightPoast
These people are the coffee grounds left in the paper filter of society. Who in their right mind would look at them and think “I want to be like they/them”?
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@jaydenmalakii
@BlackkJoe_
@thisiskashmir
@rjflawles_
Bro go change your smoke alarm batteries and let the adults talk to each other.
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@Tr00peRR
Of course the media is going to focus on the white mans mean comments instead of the minority’s deadly driving.
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@SarahisCensored
The good news is that it tends to take care of itself if you know what I mean.
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@Muhsoci0factors
And as he drifted out of consciousness into the next realm, he couldn’t help but think to himself, “but sheeeit, I ain’t do nuffin!”
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@NoCapFights
40 years is enough to invoke squatters rights on that sliver of land. You can’t just claim land after 40 years. Even if it’s yours on a survey.
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@nbcsnl
Comedy is supposed to be relatable. No normal person knows what a press tour is like. This is out of touch.
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@f33dthedrummer
@litcapital
I like to imagine a room full of accountants and actuaries in Las Vegas in green-billed hats and round glasses pouring over data sheets to try and figure out which WNBA team is on their period that week.
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@Cancelcloco
Every once in a while I think “hmmm…Ian hasn’t posted in a few days.” Then I check to make sure they haven’t cancelled you. Then I realize “oh he’s probably researching another banger.” Like this one.
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@ValeriaFae6
@matttbastard
Lmao you know your likes are public, right? Looks like we have another transbian on our hands, folks!
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@NickDiFabio1
@DividendGrowth
That’s the thing, we can’t just have a couple. One leads two which leads to blacking out at the end of the night and then having to send a bunch of apology texts in the morning.
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We have literally imported Bronze Age people and transported them into the 21st century in Springfield, OH. This is the experiment of the millennia.
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@L0m3z
Your take is way too altruistic and you’re giving the black guy way too much credit. He knows that if he were in a white neighborhood that someone would question him, so his anger at that imagined experience is causing him to lash out at the white man in the same fashion. He’s
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