kavita Gooch 🥀stayed alive🌹🎶💜
@KavitaGooch
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❤️🎶, Linkin Pk, Fort Minor, FiveFingerDeathPunch🖤Pink Floyd. proudly sober, w/SOBS (survivors of Bereav. bysuicide) Uk. counsellor dropout, love authenticity.
Saint Margarets, East
Joined July 2019
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Linkin Park aren’t just a band who made great albums, songs and music,
@mikeshinoda
and LP are way beyond that, fans aren’t just fans but we’re a family and totally dedicated! Thx Mike for connecting to fans during quarantine! ❤️❤️❤️
"I don’t even know how to qualify my relationship with Chester because we were the closest of friends, and we built a one-of-a-kind, amazing, creative and business identity together. It wasn’t just like, “Oh, we made cool albums.” Our identity was Linkin Park. We made that"
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@SeekLifeMastery
Extreme porn, gambling, cheating, drinking and drugs, dangerous driving. Many reality shows where there’s aggression, hate, drama, histrionics!
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@cammyservantofc
Oh no! That’s hit me like a punch. I’m truly devastated, my 26 yr old stepson died last year. There’s no easy way around this worst grief there is. I send my support. 🙏😢
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@adamfare1996
That’s vile Adam! I’m so sorry. This creates almost as much trauma as the abuse. My ex’s family disbelieved me after a SA, as my ex and knew the abuser, my ex told me I’d shamed him, so I was looking after him! You never forget such awfulness. 😢❤️🩹🫂
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@adamfare1996
I’ve been told by MH therapists tht despite intense suicidal thoughts at times, im unlikely to go thru with it statistically! Sorry but how can they say tht? I’ve a brother who died that way, statistically makes it more likely for family members.
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Love this photo too, it’s just so real and gorgeous of course! 💙❤️🎶
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@adamfare1996
I eat the same daily all through the 4 seasons, yes it’s quick, no cooking and some is ‘processed’ but I’ve an ED, so if I can’t eat like I do I’ll end up barely eating! Food is a tool ppl use to demean, blame us for our ailments, guilt trip us! 💜
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@forestvanslyke
I hate it too but am not diagnosed autistic. I was embarrassed to say this she’s ago on twitter as I assumed it’s just me! One of my worst chores! 💜
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@adamfare1996
Yes! Too many parents I know shield their kids from any adult discussions, they shud be up to a point as it can harm them, but they do need to know the realities of dangerous ppl, so tht they’re not manipulated.
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@DrDoyleSays
For me the worst are the so called life coaches with their various alternative ‘therapies’, mainly frm fb, they’ll suddenly call me or send messages! Now I tell them their techniques won’t help my Cptsd and freeze state!
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@Theholisticpsyc
I struggled for yrs with my husbands family as nothing bad or upsetting was ever spoken abt. After my brother took his life I was there for Christmas, they didn’t mention it, I was dying inside, their dog sensed it, sat on my feet. 😞
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@lovewins11011
My belief? You learn to live with it like grief, it still will play havoc at times thru your life, comes in waves. ❤️🩹❤️🙏🫂
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@jamesldowns
Hmm 🤔 it’s tricky! I’m not gifted or special but have struggled continuously and worse than ever now, my brother however was genius levels, he took his life in 2000. So there’s truth in tht. 😞💜
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@tanda_vaughn
@Woden
I’m sorry but that’s very invalidating, I get this from so called life coaches who know nothing about true trauma or mental illness! When you’re in that place you can’t sum up positivity! I’m in that place often.
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@CommonSenseSLT
CBT felt like gaslighting to me, deep set chronic trauma, cptsd, there’s no way it wud work. Some ppl might find it useful for present daily challenges, superficially. You’re totally 💯 ❤️🩹
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@hi_its_annaleah
Exactly! I’ve taken responsibility to heal for too long, I just can’t keep up w/trauma that keeps knocking me back down over and over. I feel you, sense how fed up you feel. Just let yourself be w/out pressure to heal. Sorry 😞 it’s tough, I’m w/you. 😢❤️🩹🫂
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@drlouisenewson
That’s sad, not surprising tho, I somehow by some miracle stopped myself taking my life since 2018 when menopause took away my very essence, it’s effects are getting less, but it made me hate summer, my high risk point right now! Worst is ppl laugh it off! They dnt get it! 😞🙏
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@Teresar15701727
@jodipicoult
Exactly! Why have kids when you and they will suffer, or if you are too sick post birth and are dangerous to your child. Who really cares once that child is born? You’re left with childcare expenses, and you need to be prepared to give your child the best!
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@adamfare1996
@basedmetalguy
Yes! Thx Adam! I wanted to scream when I read tht! Unbelievable!
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@adamfare1996
@jianling_maher
Well said Adam! Unfortunately there’ll always be bigotry and those ignorant ones who’ll judge without truly understanding what asexual is.
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@adamfare1996
That’s so disgusting! I’d have been very worried if my son had written this for his daughter my granddaughter, she’s beautiful, we all know but wouldn’t say it in such perverse way! Is she safe with him!? 🤮
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@adamfare1996
@LizPeecock
Sorry Liz, my dad was the one who’d hit me at times, not a frequent thing, but tbh my mums mental, narcissistic and psychological stuff caused me the most lasting profound damage. But neither is acceptable. ❤️🩹🫂
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@Stopworkplacebu
Yes coz they see through people, also have been burnt more than enough times. I had many friends when I pretended, was naive, now hardly anyone truly I’d consider a friend. Glad you’ve said this! ❤️
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@motiblackart
I might be autistic, only just realising, confusing as it mimics deep early trauma and cptsd, but many strange little things about my mental state. I tried so so hard to be seen as normal, doing a gud job at masking, but can’t so much now. ❤️🩹🫂🙏
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@KavitaGooch
away by the sea for my bday today, grt apartment seafront! But had a meltdown this morning, mental illness worse, still tried! ❤️🩹😞
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@drjenwolkin
Also, how can we believe that the worst won’t happen when it really has many times! Impossible to just relax knowing anything can happen, realistically, my sons drinking is dangerous, my mentally sick brother is in a home, high risk. Lost my healthy stepson in 2021, brother 2000
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@itslivmattock
Wow!! Congrats! You’ve done so well, I knw how tough it’s been. It’s a big deal, I hope you can keep this going. 🤞🙏🙏❤️🩹💗🫂
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@IAmSoberToday
I’m so sorry 😢 it’s made me deeply sad, I’m terrified even more now, my son’s body’s telling him it’s had enough but he’s unable to, doesn’t want to stop drinking. Sending you strength. Heartbreaking 💔 😢
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Love you all those who keep Chester alive, there’s a special bond between us, hard to explain. Maybe it’s Chester keeping us bonded. 🎵❤️
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Chester sounds amazing! Wish I’d met him! Feel like I know his inner soul from Linkin Park and his own songs! Thanks for this. ❤️❤️
"I love Chester. He really was an amazing human being. [..] He had an amazing energy about him. He always looked for the solution; he never got tangled in conflict. He just had an energy." -
@STPRobertDeLeo
#LightsForChester
#MakeChesterProud
#LPFamily
#ChesterBennington
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What a smile! He’s always going to be our very amazing and special boy! Love him sm 💙💜
Good morning, have a new Mike Shinoda photo to bless your day😌❤️
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This album and its classic picture is another Pink Floyd masterpiece! In a way it’s a shame that iconic place on the Thames looks so different now. 🧡
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@elainemarie58
I’m sorry love, I really struggle with exactly those very comments, I know ppl don’t know what to say, but I find it tough. Unfortunately, God forbid, anyone know this feeling, it’s the worst thing losing our child. It’ll never go away, yes, we laugh, chat, look better, but..😞❤️🩹
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@adamfare1996
My counselling course even! Awful! Exercises where I was excluded or left till last doing tht silly game of throwing the ball to your peers saying their name! I’ll need to spk to some of these ppl inc the tutors to tell them what I think! 💜
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@suffolkvillage
@miffythegamer
You can’t compare them! It’s not Bobs fault abt suicides! My brother took his life, I’ve had many deaths too, my 26 yo stepson in Aug ‘21 frm heart attacks, so I’m bad now!?
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@KavitaGooch
@DrAnnieHickox
@Majka_626
@Madeleine_1115
+my friends here, sorry abt any rants abt my bday yest. I knw I’m looking crap lately, but lovely bday with my son, & hubs. Wearing gift jacket frm my son! ♥️🥰
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@ashleyann_atx
Yeah! Same, at least my husband is consistent but I still get confused if he’s suddenly quiet. Mostly the confusion is when someone befriends me, is intense, then suddenly they’re gone! Doesn’t help my trust issues! 💕💕
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@adamfare1996
@The1Canadian
Agree Adam! I don’t see how being in constant pain, unable to do things you want to can work as a positive, maybe for some, they can somehow zone in to some superhuman power. I know with what I’ve got, it’s not officially disability, shud be, but it’s been 😢 💜
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@lovewins11011
All! If they’re in your life especially! Coverts might be tougher to deal with and recognise as they’re hidden narcissists. ❤️🫂
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I remember this stream of Mike producing the song! Listening to it now I realise it’s really lovely! Great vocals and the instruments Mike incorporated! 🎶💙
One year ago
@Mikeshinoda
produced my song ‘Clarity’. From a kid listening to Linkin Park on the radio in Lebanon, to asking my parents for a guitar, to one day working with the man himself. Dreams do come true. Thank you Mike!
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@atomicaceso
@fesshole
That’s right, you’d be surprised how many GPs are unaware of benzo withdrawal! I explained it to my GP, he decided to prescribe more!
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Brilliant! I’m so grateful Dr Jonathan is doing this, the wellness industry, pseudoscience, pseudo coaches are harming many, myself included have been retraumatised. 🙏🙏🫂💜
I sat down with the
@unbiasedscipod
to discuss my forthcoming book () and the harm of mental health misinformation and pseudoscience that derives from the intersection of the wellness industry, alternative medicine community, and anti-psychiatry movement.
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What a gorgeous genuine smile Chester had! It warms the heart! Love him sm! Thx sweetheart for always posting him! ❤️🤗💕💕
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@adamfare1996
My parents led us, especially me to believe I had wronged them, was bad, needed to make amends, I used to believe it even as an adult. I dnt expect anything frm my sons, but just at times to message, especially on tough days, if not for me, my husband! I knw they’ve narc traits.
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@themostbanned
@jonathanstea
Where have you observed this!? Plz just stop, you cud be putting ppls lives in danger
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@CaraLisette
@AnnaSylwes94870
@taperclinic
@MedicatingNorm1
Well said Cara! 👏👏, what a horrible thing to say! I’m a little shocked seeing that! Sounds like an anti meds thing too. 💗🫂
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@KavitaGooch
bittersweet pain, 2 yrs today lost my mum. Feel something more than grief tbh. RIP mummy 😞❤️🩹🤍🕊️🕊️
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@hi_its_annaleah
Yes ppl seem to always provide a reason, putting the blame on us for feeling as we do, I’ve stopped telling most ppl, only therapist etc who do acknowledge it at least. ❤️🩹🫂🫂💗
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@amboinreallife
I’m in shock as I read your last sentence, my song (Chester singing for Linkin Park said that sentence in the song ‘given up’), but I say well done, I force myself to do stuff like baths etc. but I’m in a terrible place. Responsibility for a house that’s a pain! Also similar to u
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@tenebraehue
@adamfare1996
I’m not old but from getting rheumatoid arthritis end of 2021, I can’t open jars/bottles, can’t peel potatoes, yet I can walk and buy items as long as they’re not too many heavy ones!
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@adamfare1996
Exactly, also on top of that be treated like a burden, all so easily forgotten that many disabled ppl worked hard until they cudnt!
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@ashleyann_atx
My brother used to talk fast apart from the yr before he took his life. He was a genius but that’s why we hadn’t considered autism, bipolar or both, I talk fast at times with ppl, therapist, not sure why! My hubby has sudden spates of it, manic behaviour, yet he’s NT I think 🤔
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@haha_daisy
@spoonfulofhan
Yes, addiction happens for a reason, trauma, mental illnesses! That’s illness too, creating more illness both mentally and physically. Ppl need support, many wudnt have got worse had they received tht support.
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Such a cute pic of Chester!! 💙🎶❤️
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@adamfare1996
Wish I’d spoken up more when attending hospital app w my mother, like pain clinic wud imply tht her negative self isn’t helping! I doubt she’d hve managed a personality change whilst in immense chronic pain!
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@jonathanstea
But my neighbour swore she felt illness creeping over her when she met a group who’d just had covid vax 😆, she advised me sagely to ‘keep away from recently jabbed folk for my safety’ I said I’ve had the vax myself! Maybe she smelt me all wrong?! 🤔🤭
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Yes! Hope to see you back. Happy to see this amazing album being mentioned more lately! 🎶❤️
Congrats on five years of
#OneMoreLight
,
@linkinpark
! Truly an underrated album. We hope to see you back some day.
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@CaraLisette
@EricJafMN
I (many yrs ago) didn’t report mine until 3 wks later, even then it was held heartedly with trepidation, the police asked questions as tho im lying! It’s no wonder most don’t report it.
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What a genuine, loving smile! Chester’s smiles, even his screams, his voice Ofc are always heartwarming even on a bad day like mine is now! Thx lovely ♥️🥰
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@arthurjack
Problem is psychiatrist’s deal with meds, they don’t do talking therapy which I feel you cud benefit frm. I’m not bipolar but worsening depression, cptsd etc, I’ve refused antidepressants as had them in the past, not grt. Sending support 🙏💜
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@Autistic_Lia
I don’t get why ppl get offended about sunglasses indoors, I’ve noticed in shops even if I’ve stopped the music but still wearing headphones, some get annoyed!? I don’t see why?! 🤔
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@adamfare1996
Exactly!! Im soooo glad you’ve said this. I truly was gaslighted into believing I’m crap at meditation, mindfulness, breath work as they didn’t work, so it was me who’s flawed, those ppl didn’t accept tht my mental illness was an issue! 💜
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@drninaansary
Truth! But honestly how many successful or well off people truly practice being kind. Some perhaps, the majority I feel not.
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Yes 🙌 this amazing guy makes it all feel better! Love him always! Thx
@mikeshinoda
for keeping me, us going and through the truly tough times I’ve had and still am having! Grateful 🥲💙
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@adamfare1996
I’m appalled, breaks my heart on many levels, yet these bastds still have no remorse, wait till it happens to them! I know what it’s like for a parent but also a young person dying by suicide.
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Just now was listening to ‘let down’ and thinking about how lovely his voice is! Then this appears! ❤️
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@Shrink_at_Large
I’ve learnt to become repressed enough so as not to have meltdowns, it’s been many yrs. personally I feel tht it’s harmful, bc it turns inwards! ❤️🩹🫂
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@adamfare1996
This… omg I can’t even begin! Lost my close friend over this, random calls, but then alcohol fuelled ones! I used to spend my whole eve after work on the phone! My mother wud violate this to the point I felt on edge. I really felt it’s me, the bad person when I said no! 🙏💜
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@ashleyann_atx
A friend/colleague at work knew how to draw ppl in, she’d have so many chatting to her. I thought maybe it’s her beauty, but in hindsight it was tht she knew how to lure ppl.
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@nate_postlethwt
My isolating is due to others minimising when I’ve told them my trauma, only a bit usually, it’s the fear of being invalidated. I don’t want to hear (as my aunt said), “life is tough but we have to carry on, we’ve all had trauma”, etc. plus it’s exhausting being with ppl! 💜
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@Majka_Shinoda
@mikeshinoda
@JPBrown5
@kellbelle2129
@allashazzam
@AllieCowley6
@galacticxtears
@CaraLisette
Granddaughter is 1 2 days ago! my inspiration to live, face the future! Saw her at last! 🥰🥰
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Unfortunately I’m seeing the majority of ppl as selfish. Even my new friends (I’m prepared so not invested emotionally anymore) despite saying I can tell them my trauma etc, totally only contact me for help but def go missing if I say something even small abt my situation ❤️🩹🫂
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@ashleyann_atx
Yes, we became liars, coz we were scared! Ducking and diving to avoid punishment etc. yet we’re no way liars! I lied to try see my boyfriend, felt guilty always, became a common occurrence. 😞❤️🩹
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Story of my life too! We genuinely believe we’re not doing enough till we’re so exhausted and broken tht we just can’t! ❤️🩹😞
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😂 that’s why we love Mike Shinoda tho right?! 💜💙🎶😅
“Mike Shinoda is the quintessential multi-hyphenate” but actually he’s just a silly little guy
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@girlinjail
You absolutely did the right thing, my gut feeling based on my experience and what you’ve described is most likely this guy was a predator, sorry to him of not, but best to be safe than sorry. 👏👏💜
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@ItsEmilyKaty
You’re right! School was more hellish than my traumatic home life (better the devil you know after all), I can’t see how it’s always the best place for many kids with various illnesses, autism, trauma in their homes! School def made it worse! ❤️🩹🫂😢
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@DiaryofaSickGrl
@StarDrifter420
@Love_Divine_
Right!!! I’m sick of being advised the same bs, so sorry Candace, they’ve no idea of what you’ve endured, are enduring! ❤️🩹🫂❤️🩹
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Such a gorgeous Chester smile, listening to him now as I see this, it brings such comfort and feels like he’s right here, with us. ❤️🎵🥰
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My latest pic but not a great one as was a cold night! Lol coat isn’t the nicest! 💜
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@EverlitMusic
are really good! Sound bit Linkin Park💕💕
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@HorowitzLana
Yeah!! I feel something wrong when I’m out, often I want to run back home and withdraw, but I force myself to walk long as possible. Summer has this strange slightly sinister thing, I like being home alone best! Have to tire myself out in summer so forced to go walking!❤️
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@Shrink_at_Large
Yes! This is a huge sore point and I’m sure the downfall of many who suffer mental illness already which is worsened by this attitude tht you’re only valued when working. Thx Dr Jay. ❤️🙏🫂
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Managed to see my son in London, by train in the rain! Was hugely emotional, seeing him in tht state broke me all over again, he hugged me tight, yes he’d got drunk, but thts the core issue. Glad we went. 😭❤️🩹🫂
Omg!! You too!? Sameee! Daily I make myself go out! It’s too much hypervigilance! Feel stupid! Even today, going to London w/hubs, feeling a churning! Why’s this have to happen?! I’m so sorry, can’t believe you’ve same as me. It’s debilitating! Sending love ❤️🩹😞🫂
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How dare ppl say mental illness is a myth! They need to live in my head for a day then say it! Just bc we suffer quietly, mask the true horrors within! 🤬
Mental illness exists.
It’s not a myth.
The anti-psychiatry movement willfully ignores psychiatry’s biopsychosocial model of mental illness.
Let’s continue to improve mental health literacy.✌️
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@BeTraumaFree
Exactly the same with me! Attracting the abusive ppl is highly likely when childhood has been so traumatic as with you/me. This just piles on more and more trauma! Broke the cycle by meeting hubby during a period I was at my optimum for no known reason! ❤️🫂🙏
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We do!! The person who truly addresses this is
@jonathanstea
, I’m grateful as I was vulnerable after losing MIL, stepson, mother in 2021, did an expensive online course w/life coach, she damaged me more, she said stop ruminating! They need to be stopped! 💗
we need to do something about the life coaches who claim to be psychologists without so much as an undergrad degree in psychology. so dangerous and just cruel to extort money from unwell people who you aren’t qualified to treat
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@KavitaGooch
@elainemarie58
@DrAnnieHickox
@Majka_626
Happy heavenly birthday our Sean. An angel who left us nrly 3 yrs ago.,today July 9, a quiet remembering day with hub, SIL. Us who’re keeping him alive. 🕊️🕊️🤍❤️🩹🙏
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@hi_its_annaleah
Kids have more optimism despite suffering so much at home, school, I still seemed resilient but little did I know tht it’s all being stored in the subconscious, tht it made me choose abusive prtnrs. Agree. Same and I’m sorry 😢 really ❤️🩹
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Sorry love, you’ve highlighted how deeply trauma sets in, contrary to popular belief, trauma won’t just go away, disappear over time even if things aren’t as bad. Thx for this. It’s sad 😞 ❤️🩹🫂
After experiencing severe trauma as a tiny child, when I became an adult I was still unable to defend or protect myself, or to set healthy boundaries. I was removed from my addicted parents and raised by relatives in a stable home, but the underlying trauma did not heal itself.
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I like this!! It looks like Chester! I couldn’t do this even tho I can paint other stuff! Keep doing them! Can you do Mike? 🎶❤️🫂
i tried drawing Chester, please rate (but be nice, i’m sensitive)
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@adamfare1996
@StrayCatAgain
Yes! Yet ppl focus on those fraudulently claiming disability. Far too many aren’t claiming who shud be. I know my mum more than paid her taxes, contributed etc yet once she was immobile seems as tho tht was forgotten.
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Thank you 🙏 it’s a nightmare, I certainly don’t want what I’ve got, it’s all got too much as trauma piled up high. It’s no fun being in freeze mode. When you’re grateful for an ok day, you know it’s bad! ❤️🩹🫂😞🙏
Can we please stop calling mental illness trendy?
No one, I repeat, no one wants to have a mental illness or disability for this matter
What people want is an answer to WHY things are happening to them which causes them distress in their everyday life
Stop being an asshole
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@BgpbearsHawkins
Def! I found that at school, with friends, partners I was often the scapegoat. This isn’t so anymore, mainly bc not much contact with those types, my mother died nrly 2 yrs ago, she was the root. ❤️🫂❤️
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@adamfare1996
@outchyeaa
Exactly! I’ve often been stunned by friends and professionals alike saying “have you tried yoga, meditation, mindfulness, breathwork, a nice walk……” and u ve just told them you want to end it!
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@stomababe
Ridiculous! It’s hard tho going to concerts even at the best of times! Venues need to be more accessible, disabled friendly! I struggle even just frm my issues, vertigo with high seats puts me off! ❤️
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@HlyAnn_
That’s why even without knowing totally abt DBT, I knew without a doubt it’s not a good therapy! Especially for ppl like myself with deep complex trauma. ❤️🩹🫂
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