joyliveshere.bsky.social day/dem🥄🦼🐍🏳️🌈✍🏼📷
@JoyMosenfelder
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Smol. Intense. Filled with words. Spikey when riled. day/dem/dares #Creative #NPComms #Writes #Disabled #QueerAF #WeirdLittleGremlin #Dandy
Boston, MA
Joined July 2011
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Pinned Tweet
#UnpopularOpinion
#Abortion
If life begins at conception, then so does the pregnant parent’s right to revoke consent to having their fluids, tissues, bones, and organs used to sustain that life.
#ProAbortion
#ProChoice
#ReproductiveRights
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@bbbrazil__
@sarahwoolard
Stories like this are why so many people die preventable deaths every day. It’s distressing how many people place so little value on the lives of anyone they can find a reason to judge and look down on.
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Periodic reminder that many attempts at legal euthanasia become pathways for coercing disabled people to choose death instead of providing us with the resources we need to thrive. They devolve into state sanctioned eugenics.
MAID is the name for legalised euthanasia in Canada.
Canada’s government is using MAID to eradicate poor and disabled people instead of giving them money and healthcare to live.
They’re going to try to introduce it in the UK for the same reason, as long cøvid rates increase.
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I have a special trump card I reserve for persistent “have you tried…” health nuts because prior to my MS diagnosis I made all my own food from scratch, did daily yoga, and walked/biked everywhere. I get a twisted sense of glee watching them struggle w/the cognitive dissonance.
Someone I haven't talked to in forever just messaged me like oh my god why are you on chemo. I explained that I have pretty aggressive MS and chemo is a last line treatment
They asked me if I tried changing my fucking diet first. Maybe it's just all the meds Im on, but Im PISSED
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@Karnythia
@battymamzelle
Everyone deserves a safe, comfortable place to live. It kills me that this is somehow a controversial idea. The degree to which our society dehumanizes and devalues people in poverty should be our greatest shame.
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I want a Venn diagram of people who think carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term is a “minor inconvenience” and also think being required to mask in public to reduce transmission of a deadly airborne virus is a violation of their right to personal autonomy.
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@plutoinscorpio_
@sapphomd
My wife actually argued with me when I put Ms. on the marriage certificate for myself. I told her she could be Mrs. if she wanted, but I preferred Ms.
That probably should have been a red flag, in hindsight.
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[Flat affect]
“Yes. Oh my, yes. Yes indeed. I had a very good diet. Lots of sunshine & exercise, too…”
[Faraway look]
[Aggressive eye contact]
“I’m so sorry, [name], but your health cult won’t save you. It couldn’t save me…”
Then I hobble off to find my mobility scooter.
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@bbbrazil__
@sarahwoolard
It’s the same reason cities can bulldoze homeless encampments. Most people look the other way & keep walking.
W/the right services & resources we could end the opioid epidemic. Funding SUD treatment, prevention, & harm reduction services doesn’t win elections, though.
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@sugarpalmnut
Plain language writing is a beautiful thing & it works great for making complex topics accessible to a much broader audience. The fact that it’s not the standard for academic paper & research p1sses me off. The only real excuse for not doing it is gatekeepers the ivory towers.
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It’s fleeting, but they’ll usually leave me alone. It starts with an uncomfortably long, deadeye stare punctuated by:
👇🏻
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For the first part I like to channel Sister Mary Loquacious from Good Omens. You know the “we kept very good records,” line.
The second half is all about striking the perfect balance between Andy Serkis as Golem and Viggo Mortensen’s portrayal of Lucifer in The Prophecy.
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@Cooperstreaming
My ex-wife served me a bowl of soup with broken plastic in it. I was shocked to find it my mouth, thought it was an accident, warned her. She then admitted she knew it was there and told me she thought she’d given herself that bowl. She’d just completed serve safe training.
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@Imani_Barbarin
We’ve also had numerous studies confirming that protests that block traffic are no more disruptive than big sporting events.
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@citrine_spirit
Not so much the “jealous” but “you need to understand why they can’t relate to you” or “it’s because your more advanced and don’t fit in.” My whole childhood was a masterclass in excuses for bully behavior and why I should expect to be bullied and just put up with it.
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I’ve noticed this trend, too. It’s exhausting. There’s a huge uptick in ableist slurs & lateral ableism from disabled people unfamiliar w/disability justice. Many respond w/hostility when it’s pointed out & derisive about the importance of our movement.
Ableist language seems to get worse every month because eugenics can’t happen without dehumanisation.
It’s just as bad in the shitlib zone of cøvid-aware Twitter because non-disabled and recently disabled people dominate.
I dare you to read one article about disability justice.
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@elocin_nelihp
@plutoinscorpio_
@sapphomd
Hopefully not for much longer. She ran out at the end of March. Probably the best thing she could have done for me, TBH.
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@Sblahov
“Can you rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10?”
“No”
“What do you mean no?”
“My brain and my body aren’t speaking to each other right now. I don’t have a clue how much pain I’m in.”
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I do solemnly swear that I’m eternally & deeply in awe of this woman & her communication analysis skills. It’s breathtaking. She hits all the right notes, every. single. time.
@Imani_Barbarin
I f🤬king love you. Thanks for your service, your insight, & your incredible wit. 😘
This is not a comparison of homophobia and racism, but what their suffixes imply.
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#NEISVoid
#DisabilityTwitter
How old were you the first time you had to come to terms with the fact that your life wasn’t going to go the way you planned because of your health?
What did that look like for you?
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@joshgondelman
Oooooooh. See, I removed myself from my own family text to avoid drama.
I do have this hilarious example of the time I was added to a total stranger’s family group text about “Dad’s” feelings about Nana being too salty on her birthday after recouping from COVID-19.
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@krishuvsworld
@my_adhd_diaries
@redheadedhermit
Semiotics is wild, once you get accustomed to looking for the agenda in things you can’t under it. It’s all spin. And it’s only getting worse right now.
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@chrissuddes
@slooterman
Note: Many disabled people are sick and tired of being calling inspiring when abled are surprised by the extreme lengths we go through to overcome access barriers. We’re not here to inspire, we just want to live our lives in a world where access is often denied to us.
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Those words you don’t want to think of as slurs? “Lame,” “crazy,” “spastic,” “r*****d,” “psycho,” “useless eaters,” “dumb,” “sickly,” “weak,” and so on; they historically been used to dehumanize us, lock us up, experiment on us, or leave us to die.
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@notabrokenthing
The thing I’m most frustrated about is how the entire thing is centered around what the dog MIGHT have done to the kid. It’s almost impossible to cut through all the noise to address the very real danger to service dog handlers when other people interfere with their dogs.
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@TinyWriterLaura
Yes. Yes it is. Cause marketing isn’t supposed to leave potencial supporters with a visceral sense of revulsion.
Someone was definitely trying to be clever, missed the mark and slid right into unsettling and evocative of rape culture.
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When they blame mental illness remember, the most reliable predictor of mass shootings is past domestic violence.
Violence is not a mental illness.
Toxic masculinity is not a mental illness.
People w/mental illness are far more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators.
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This. And, I already had someone else make all my dietary choices for me for several years and it completely broke my relationship with food & had serious consequences for my health. Not having any input into what you get to eat every day is dehumanizing and deeply traumatic.
If I see one more person suggesting using meals on wheels for food delivery I will scream. None of you fucks know anything about disability or about eligibility or about quality of life or about literally anything. I’m so over this.
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#NEISVoid
Does anyone else feel like they overcompensate when pushing through/masking high pain/fatigue moments and come across as a bit manic/overexcitable or is that just me?
#Fatigue
#ChronicPain
#DisabilityTwitter
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@pcrritesgood
@saracentury
@ThatShockratees
No one “becomes a lesbian.” They may realize they are and have been a lesbian after unsuccessfully trying to maintain heterosexual relationships despite lack of attraction.
Or, they may be bisexual. Because. You know. We exist.
#BiVisibility
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@Nyx_roblox
@leather_butch
And it still happens. When I was married I would use “spouse” instead of “wife” with older doctors. Several immediately replied back with “husband” which forced me to either ignore it or out myself to correct them. Normalized de gendered language is still about safety.
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@giajordan
@DrJenGunter
@RyanMarino
I seriously considered throwing myself down a flight of stairs when I wasn't sure if I could get an appointment in time. It was 2000. I lived in a small, rural, isolated community. Fortunately, I was able to make that appointment and it saved my life.
#ProChoice
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@Cooperstreaming
I’m still not sure if it was a genuine case of bad judgement or if she was trying to kill me. 🤷🏻 We’ll never know. Haven’t had any contact with her since Sept 2021. She didn’t even show for our court date. Which worked out just fine for me.
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@TamaraLeeLewis
@mattbc
You put this so perfectly.
One of my little mantras to myself is “The body wins” to remind me that my body will quit working & force rest if pushed too hard. Better to respect its limits & choose rest when it needs it. Either way, it will “win” & I’ll be horizontal.
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@chiamarc
@slooterman
We also have immense disability poverty, disabled people killing themselves because they are on the verge of homelessness, others because they are denied pain management, disabled people forced to live in inaccessible housing, and rampant medical gaslighting of disabled patients.
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This is really important, because brain damage isn’t easy to quantify & neither is intelligence. What, if any, impact brain damage has on cognitive function is variable depending on where the damage is, how severe it is, & how well the brain can repair/compensate for the damage.
I need ppl to stop talking about covid brain injury in terms of "IQ drop"
IQ measures are rooted in racism and ableism, and you perpetuating them as valid is not a good look.
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@_TheMonsterIAm_
@elocin_nelihp
@plutoinscorpio_
@sapphomd
Me too, and while it’s a slow process, the outcome looks hopeful. I’m fortunate that so many other things in my life are incredible. I’m sad we could not live safely under the same roof, but glad to have the resources and support to put my life back together.
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@LBSamuelsson
Yup. I even had a bed at the community garden. 4x10 filled with veggies. It was a blast. I was having so much fun climbing mountains I’d started purchasing gear for longer backpacking trips. Even tried to keep at it in the early years. Likely accelerated my disease progression.
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Someday, I’d really like to see medical professionals recognize and do something about the fact that canceling on disabled patients for running a few minutes late is an access barrier.
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Rest in power, Hydeia Broadbent. You were a powerful force for good. Your words and deeds touched so many lives, including my own. Listening to you speak about living w/HIV/AIDs helped me come to terms with my MS. The world is a little smaller without you.
RIP 🕊️ HIV/AIDS activist Hydeia Broadbent. Never forget seeing her on the Oprah show that day talking bout it. Doctors said she wouldn’t make it beyond 5yrs old.
Rest with the angels 👼🏾
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@eatonhamilton
Why are we telling everyone that it’s fine to be around people after 5 days even if you still have positive test results?
Why haven’t we set up any kind of support for people in isolation?
Why aren’t we actively encouraging universal masking?
I’m so angry.
#MaskUp
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@DaunenJ
@ask_aubry
This is a good way to convince people to stay in an abusive situation. There shouldn’t be any limit on when someone leaves an unhappy marriage.
Speaking as a child of a resentful marriage, it’s also not fair to the kids.
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@Imani_Barbarin
“It’s really hard living with a disabled person.”
“You have to understand how much stress your disability puts on other people.”
“I’m uncomfortable watching you struggle. Let me do that for you. I hate seeing you like this.”
“Having MS means you’re pretty much dead, right?”
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@DiaryofaSickGrl
This is what happens in a society that values productivity and profit over actual people’s lives. Conditions that are perceived as placing a “burden” on people around the person who has them are stigmatized and the lives of people living with them are devalued.
Capitalism kills.
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@amberying
Yep. I really wish there was a good model for implementing it at scale without opening it up to abuse.
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@MKMaybe
@bennessb
@StynaLane
And even when your job is supportive, staying in the work force means less time too rest and manage medical needs. So you get sicker while you work, but if you stop working and start to feel better then why weren’t you still working all along because clearly you feel well enough.
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@wonder_cripple
When people get upset if I politely decline help for something. People who are vocally uncomfortable about watching me try to do things for myself.
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There is absolutely no diagnosis that excuses harmful behavior. Bigotry, abuse, harassment, and violence are always an active choice. There is no “free pass” for choosing to lash out when confronted about how you’ve said or done harms others. 1/?
Being autistic is not a shield/ doesn’t give you immunity from being racist.
Having RSD is not a shield/ doesn’t excuse you from being held accountable.
🤷🏽♀️
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@Olas_Truth
Not to mention all the white artists out there with lyrics using slavery as a metaphor for love w/no consequences. Geesh.
Her rapid response and willingness to hear the criticism and change is absolutely commendable.
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@LoveAmuSystem
They also won’t allow anyone who is already disabled to become a citizen if they aren’t already. Many, many nations have discriminatory immigration policies designed to keep disabled people out.
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I have ordered from Bibi on several occasions & I will again. I trust her products and her principles as a small business owner who understands and values her customers. I still wear the galaxy compression gloves from my 1st order. I’ve worn to bed. Under braces. They’ve held up.
I say this often, but I'll say it again. My accessibility items aren't just for disabled people. Anyone can benefit from them. You aren't taking from disabled people when you buy them. When you buy them, you're actually helping more accessibility items get made.
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@dylrschn
@DrSteveJacobs
@LeahNTorres
People who want to be pregnant should have support getting pregnant, staying pregnant, & delivering safely.
People who don't want to be pregnant should have access to contraceptives that reduce the risk of an unintended pregnancy & the ability to terminate an unwanted pregnancy.
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If you’ve never had to rely on delivery for your basic nutritional needs, that’s a privilege.
I have been malnourished and unable to feed myself due to severe fatigue.
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@Tinu
Multiple Sclerosis! Still incurable after literal centuries of research. (MS was first documented in the 1300s. Fun fact: our numb limbs were probably the inspiration for the “stick ‘em with a pin” method of finding witches)
But there are seriously so many incurable conditions.
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@cassesque
Kids are great. I was out gardening and the little girl next door asked if I was a girl. When I said I wasn’t a boy or a girl she quickly verified, then moved on to her actual question - did I want to see how fast she could twirl?
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There are very good reasons many of us who have to interact with the medical system frequently fear it. Even those with knowledge, experience, and status struggle to get the care they need when they are in the system as patients. This happens every day.
“‘Brilliant’ professor and father-of-two died after doctors botched treatment for a rare condition on which he was a national expert”
They kiIIed him to “take back control.” This is the culture of medicine.
There’s nowhere less safe than a hospital.
h/t
@broadwaybabyto
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@DiaryofaSickGrl
Seconding this. 10+ years living with an incurable, degenerative disease. “Get well soon,” passed its expiration date a long time ago.
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@wonder_cripple
You might see a disabled person with chronic, severe pain smile. They might even laugh! They may even be having a good time!
That doesn’t mean their pain has gone away, or that they are feeling better physically.
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@hi_its_annaleah
Same. And ejection usually comes with vitriol or suspicion. I’ve been told every time that I was “being unreasonable” or “making people choose sides” just for disclosing/asking for help. It compounds the trauma from the abuse at the same time it leaves survivors isolated.
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The work to protect disabled people from a society that discriminates against us, objectifies us, excludes us, forces many of us into poverty, denies us agency over our own lives, seeks to institutionalize or kill us rather than support our needs has been going on for ages.
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I was preparing for college. I was not prepared to become a single mother at 18, luckily I didn't have to.
#BecauseIHadAChoice
#1in3Speaks
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At what point to you stop hoping to get better and start coping with the new normal being a degrading baseline?
What keeps you going when it’s clear things aren’t going to get better?
#NEISVoid
#DegenerativeDisease
#ChronicIllness
#Spoons
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@twitchyspoonie
Even weirder, this is well documented. There’s decades of research contraindicate use of couples therapy when DV is known, suspected, or at an elevated risk. Guidelines encourage universal screening for IPV and yet… most couples therapists still aren’t trained on DV basics.
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Our social safety nets are backwards. To truly move people out of crisis, we need to provide them with the resources they need to live self-determined lives, not force them to struggle towards self-sufficiency before they can make meaningful choices about their own lives.
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@JoannaNoBanana
Right now? Either Darla, my mobility scooter or my chaise lounge.
In ~ 2 months? The comprehensive renovations to adapt my kitchen and bathroom to my access needs. I feel very fortunate that I am in a position to do this for myself.
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@DrHannahBelcher
@EmilioLees
My neurologist once wrote “denies depression” in the notes for a visit during which I had asked for - and received - a referral to a therapist for my depression. 🫤 Sometimes you just have to wonder.
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@DrOtileUg
@UrNastyHippie
@n5iln
SHE brought it up in a private conversation with her medical provider.
YOU decided to share her private health information and photos as a scare tactic to shame women who wait to get pregnant.
So much for doctor patient confidentiality.
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@FaatiTheStreet
To me it’s just life, but to them I was being a downer, or complaining, or fishing for sympathy. Eventually it turned into only hanging around w/folks who could relate. But it struck home that having enough socially acceptable backstory to tell to make small talk is a privilege.
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@money_luvs
@Imani_Barbarin
Im also confused. But, you know what. I don’t need to know what is happening or why it’s happening, I’m just going to accept that it’s probably happening for a good reason and loop the video again. 😅🙏🏻🙌🏻
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@degendering
#Gatekeeping
queerness isn't a good look. Assuming people are only
#ComingOut
for personal gain is a special kind of
#Bigotry
, one that ignores all the baggage that comes with being visible
#Queer
, even today.
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@wonder_cripple
For the longest time after that I defaulted to pushing through and doing things I knew I shouldn’t so I wouldn’t need to have the “I can’t” conversation.
When I have had it, it’s cost me friends, relationships, and jobs.
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@SexyIsntSexist
@BlondeHistorian
I have a “severe and complex” disability. I’m also the Communications Director at a human services organization. “Severe and complex” does not mean unable to function in mainstream society.
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@nazani14
@harryilesmann
Can we just call it Eugenics rather than using a euphemism? Because that’s all “Social Darwinism” is and Darwin would have been appalled that his work was corrupted to support Eugenics. His used more expansive definition of “fittest” and does not deserve the shade.
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They still serve that purpose. Every time they get thrown around it reinforces disability stigma and contributes to a culture that deprioritizes our safety, denies our humanity, and denies our basic rights.
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@kateandcrps
@tokio_blue
And when we're told by management to settle for an alternative because they don't think it's necessary even when we provide medical documentation from an accredited medical professional stating that it is.
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@JoannaNoBanana
I took medical leave from work to focus on managing my own health, wellness, & safety as a person w/a major chronic illness that impacts every aspect of my life who lives alone w/out much in the way of support services. It was a very difficult decision, but I needed to do this.
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And the rhetoric about how we’re not worth protecting, how our lives are a drain on resources, how death is such a gift because it ends our suffering, how we’re “unproductive” members of society, how it’s our own fault our bodies don’t work & require accommodations.
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@lyxanna
@MrsRieB
While practically true in most situations, this isn’t the way things need to be or should be. Also, it’s not helpful, kind, or necessary to show up in a conversation about disabled people’s safety in crisis situations to say “sorry, but in a real emergency you’d be left to die.
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@belehakalife
@BirateQueen
@RaeLikesDnD
@citrusgirlpaige
This whole thread is so incredibly validating. I love that language, too. “Treated as though our feelings alone are manipulation.” That’s exactly what it feels like.
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Throughout the era of COVID, we’ve been watching as the enabled work literally writes our lives off as insignificant, burdensome, and expendable.
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@AutisticCallum_
Ooooofff, I relate to this so much. No dx, but more and more feeling like I see myself in the experiences of autistic adults talking about themselves and how they move through the world.
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@TeknaMnemosynes
@Imani_Barbarin
When you pointed that out I was overwhelmed by how deeply true it is.
I’m getting divorced over having my access needs downgraded to “preferences” over and over again. Abled are so casually dismissive and cruel about limitations they don’t understand. And it kills us.
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We still lack legal protection to ensure our autonomy. Getting support often means giving up our freedom to live-self-directed lives & handing over control of our income, living situations, & other key resources to enabled people, empowering them to exploit, abuse, or neglect us.
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@wonder_cripple
At the time I was diagnosed I had a supervisor who decided I must be a hypochondriac due to all the doctor’s visits I was suddenly having. Told her I couldn’t due door-to-door neighborhood surveys in high heat.
I wound up doing them anyway, it was brutal.
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This. This. This.
And to all the people out there saying disabled people aren’t at risk of dying due to lack of nutrition access.
Go F🤬K yourself hard & fast with a splintered plank covered in rusty nails. We lose disabled people every day to malnutrition & starvation.
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@TheatreSpoonie
@bennessb
Right?!? I recall a friend explaining to me pre-pandemic that healthcare policy wasn’t something he cared about because it didn’t impact him personally and trying to explain to him that they could suddenly become very important, at any moment, without warning.
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@bennessb
You’re having a good day. “must not be as sick because you did all that.”
You’re having a bad day “must be exaggerating to get out of doing anything”
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@LizzieCosmos
Oooof, where to begin. Let’s start with “founded on the principles of freedom and justice for all” to describe a nascent government that only applied it to white make landowners, endorsed slavery, and didn’t let women vote.
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Enabled people often only celebrate our existence when it is used as a prop to make one of their own into a hero. We’re a side note in someone else’s story about how wonderful it is someone took pity on our plight and did something to make our miserable lives more tolerable.
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@twitchyspoonie
Yes. So often they get in the way of the patient’s ability to advocate for themselves.
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How we should be “grateful” for coercion disguised as “support” & compliant with a system that is literally designed to keep us isolated, impoverished, and hidden from view.
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It’s older than I am. Heck, it’s older than the combustion engine, the steam engine, or European colonization of the Americas. It’s existed anywhere disabled people were pushed out of their communities throughout human history.
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@NSanctification
@MegansTouch
@JessicaValenti
And as a separate entity from her body, it has no claim to use her body to sustain its own existence unless she agrees to let it do so.
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@bbbrazil__
@sarahwoolard
I’ve worked in communications for community-based organizations that provide SUD treatment and recovery support services in under resourced neighborhoods since 2015. Getting support & resources is always a fight. There’s never enough funding to meet the need. It’s tragic.
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@SageGarnish
And “your kinks are harmless” is not the same as “bigots won’t harm you if they learn about your kinks.”
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@talxfairy
@muslimah_han
My neuro once looked at my MRIs & exclaimed how surprised he was I was as still walking w/all the damage, then went on a tangent about how well I was doing.
No dude, that means I’m successfully masking. Being able to mask doesn’t mean I’m “doing well.” The scans don’t lie.
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