Dr. Kristina Kuznetsova, Psy.D. ♿️🏳️🌈
@wonder_cripple
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CP, GAD, OCD | I ❤️ disability 🧵| NY Telehealth Therapist, available on weekends! - BOOK W/ ME @ LINK! | She/her |
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NY! I'm a queer, neurodivergent, disabled therapist valuing trauma-informed, gender-affirming care and I'm offering $50 sessions. Book via link in bio. Learn more about me (second therapist listed) at
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Last night I told my brother about all the rules disabled people have to follow to keep their benefits.
He was like “So you basically have to live in poverty and STAY THERE to qualify for anything?”
That right there is the entire system in a nutshell.
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We ALL have ableism to unlearn.
Yes, even you.
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What’s an example of ableism disguised as access?
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Anyone who thinks being positive can cure depression has never been depressed. I will die on this hill.
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The idea that people “lose battles” with terminal illnesses is incorrect and damaging AF.
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Dear abled people,
Your tired isn’t the same as our tired.
Love,
disabled people
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Disabled people on benefits are literally shamed for not working and punished for making any money at the same time.
No, I’m not kidding.
Yes, I know it makes no sense.
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Never ever use the phrase “money can’t buy happiness” to dismiss the concerns of those who don’t have it.
Money matters, because it buys SURVIVAL in this fucked up world we live in.
You can condescend all you want, but I’ve never heard of a single person living off of air.
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Fellow disabled people, what are some wild misconceptions abled people have about us?
I’ll start.
I’ll always be baffled by the sheer volume of people that seem to think we all hate our lives by default, because we’re disabled.
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What’s the most ableist thing an educator has ever done or said to you?
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Disabled people, tell me about a time when ableism made you lose respect for someone.
I’ll start.
Every single time a professor refused to provide accommodations that I had clearly been approved for, my respect for them vanished, regardless of what I could learn from them.
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What’s one fact about your disability that sounds made up but is actually true?
I’ll start.
It can take me 3 hours to read one chapter of a book.
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We need to stop thinking about disability as something that we either “allow” or “don’t allow” to get in the way of shit.
My disability does what it wants. And if it stops me from doing things, I can’t help that.
It’s got nothing to do with me “allowing” it to do anything.
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Most disabled people don’t wanna hear that their existence inspires you.
I mean, just so you know.
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I don’t think y’all realize how much more expensive the world is for disabled people.
We’re often made to spend five times as much money to get our basic needs met.
And no, insurance does not “cover everything”.
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Microaggressions are “indirect, subtle, or unintentional acts of discrimination against members of a marginalized group.”
Disabled peeps, what are some examples?
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Disabled people, tell me about your worst experience with a medical or mental health professional.
I’ll start.
Shout out to the pediatrician who told me she would hospitalize me if I didn’t “behave” after she made fun of my weight and I cried.
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Parents, your kids CAN’T do whatever they want if they “try hard enough”.
Your kids have limits, and you need to be realistic about them.
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“Everyone” is NOT “a little disabled”.
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If a disabled person didn’t “really need” an accommodation, they wouldn’t be asking for it.
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The next time you want to condescendingly tell a disabled person to “advocate for themselves”, remember that they probably already did. You just didn’t listen.
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When I say I’m disabled, I’m not asking for your permission to be.
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So “disabled“ is an uncomfortable word, but y’all are perfectly fine with denying us accommodations and paying us subminimum wage.
Hmm.
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I’m only gonna say this one more fucking time.
Ableds, are you listening?
My disability does what it wants, and this ridiculous narrative that disabled people are only worthy of anything if they “don’t let their disability stop them” is incorrect, damaging and dangerous.
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“I love you despite your disability” is not a complement.
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I just heard someone describe me like this:
“She’s bright, but she’s disabled.”
And I’m angry. I’m FURIOUS. Because don’t you DARE treat my disability like a qualifier, like the negative flipside of a pro/con situation. It doesn’t work like that.
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For the last fucking time, VACCINES DO NOT CAUSE AUTISM.
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Hey disabled folks, what’re some red flags that scream “ableist”?
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Disabled kids don’t just stop being disabled when they turn 18.
They become disabled adults, who STILL. NEED. SERVICES.
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We need to stop using “resilience” as an excuse to write off people who desperately need support.
Being resilient doesn’t mean someone is OK.
It means they keep getting the shit knocked out of them and somehow manage to keep getting back up.
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You know you’re disabled when you wake up in excruciating pain but do things anyway cause it’s just another day.
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You know you’re disabled when you apologize reflexively anytime you need help.
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A big reason why it’s so difficult for disabled people to get approved for services is because of the myth that we all have families to rely on for our entire lives, and that none of us actually want independent lives.
So.
Who’s gonna tell ‘em that’s bullshit?
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What are the most ableist TV and literature tropes?
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Diffability is not a word.
Neither is handicapable.
Euphemisms don’t make us any less disabled. They exist to make abled people feel better about how ableist their society is, and you know what?
Your comfort is not our fucking problem.
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Stop acting like you’re doing disabled people a favor by making shit accessible.
You’re supposed to. It’s a bare minimum requirement for being decent to our community.
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If you’re not disabled, you don’t understand disability. Not really. Not in the ways that matter.
It DOES NOT MATTER if your cousin’s wife’s best friend‘s sister is disabled, if you work with disabled people, if you broke your leg once.
You STILL don’t get it.
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Having a disabled child doesn’t make you a hero, a saint or a martyr.
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The reason so many disabled people hate person-first language is because its implications are insulting.
Disability doesn’t obscure humanity. It’s not our disabilities’ fault that you have to be reminded that we’re people. It’s yours, and it’s YOUR responsibility to change.
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To all the ableds making $80k a year and bitching about how unfair it is disabled people get “free money” from the government, wanna trade?
I mean goddamn, if you want $800 a month so bad because it’s so much better than what you’re currently making, you can have it.
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Fellow disabled people, what’s the simplest accommodation someone’s refused to provide?
I’ll start.
5 extra minutes on a quiz.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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Fellow disabled people, what’s one fact about your disability that sounds made up but is actually true?
I’ll start.
CP: I’m only short because my muscles flex constantly and do weird things to my bones.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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If you respond to a disabled person‘s concerns with “Oh, we’re all a little {symptom}”, it becomes immediately obvious that you have never experienced the symptom in the way the disabled person has.
Don’t talk about what you don’t know.
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People need to realize how expensive being disabled is.
Equipment and care cost tens of thousands.
Those of us who can’t work aren’t living out some cushy fantasy.
WE. ARE. PANICKING.
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Disabled peeps, if you could get rid of one of your symptoms, which would you yeet into the abyss?
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Can we all agree that “letting your disability define you” isn’t a bad thing?
Because honestly, so what if it does? What’s so bad about our disabilities making us who we are?
Identity should be celebrated, no matter which aspect of it we’re talking about.
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Touching a disabled person‘s equipment without their explicit consent is harassment.
You read that right.
Do not do it.
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There’s something so insidious about privileged abled people trying to turn our very basic needs into privileges by calling them “special”.
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If you’re chronically ill, I believe you.
If you don’t know what’s wrong and don’t have a diagnosis, I believe you.
If you live with chronic pain or chronic fatigue, I believe you.
I don’t need to see “proof”, and neither should anyone else.
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What are some ways in which disabled people can be privileged?
I’ll start.
Financial privilege. If you can secure your needs without having to rely on the government for money, you are privileged.
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When I hear “we never installed a ramp because most people who come here use the stairs”, it always translates the same way in my brain:
“You don’t matter.”
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Fellow disabled people, what are some things doctors have told you that have made you think “I can’t believe you just said that”?
I’ll start.
I’ll never forget the time a doctor asked me if I was depressed because I was disabled and single.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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We need to talk about how disabled people aren’t valued by the abled majority unless we become their poster children for “overcoming” and perpetual, performative joy despite unbearable pain.
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About two weeks ago, I got a job offer.
Today, I lost it, because the clinic isn’t accessible.
Yes, this still happens. Yes, in 2022. Yes, it’s inexcusable.
Ableds, remember this the next time you feel the urge to tell someone on benefits to “just get a job”.
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Ableds, please don’t touch mobility aids, equipment or service animals without explicit consent.
The things that keep us alive aren’t toys.
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What’s one thing that would blow ableds’ minds?
I’ll start
You might see a disabled person use a wheelchair one day, and no mobility aids AT ALL the next day.
And guess what?
That person? STILL DISABLED!
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Disabled people, please remember that it is never your responsibility to make abled people comfortable at your own expense.
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Disabled people don’t owe you an apology for needing your help or support.
It’s not our fault that you built this world without us.
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RT if you’re disabled and were ever bullied for it.
People need to see how common this is.
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Disabled peeps, what are some things that make you instantly feel unsafe around abled people?
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Having a disabled child doesn’t make you an expert on disability or give you a voice in disability spaces.
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Disabled people, what’s the worst experience you’ve had with an educator?
I’ll start.
Shout out to the graduate faculty that humiliated me repeatedly in front of my peers and told me I was using my disability as an excuse when I complained.
I just wanted my doctorate, man.
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Can we all agree that laziness is a myth?
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Parents, for the love of god, stop publicizing your disabled kids’ private moments as if they don’t have rights to privacy or the ability to feel humiliated.
Trust me, your kid does not want to give the world a play-by-play of how they use the bathroom. STOP.
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Fellow disabled people, what screams “I don’t care about disabled people”?
I’ll start.
Blocking curb cuts.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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Fellow disabled people, describe executive dysfunction.
I’ll start.
It’s like the alarm in your brain that tells you to do things is permanently stuck on snooze and you can’t fix it.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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Guys. I’m desperate. I really, really am.
18-29y/o US peeps, PLEASE fill this out.
I need about 330 more responses.
This dissertation is my entire future.
Please help & RT!
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
#AcademicTwitter
#AcademicChatter
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NEVER make a disabled person’s struggles about how much YOU are “inconvenienced” by them.
It’s not about you.
It was never about you.
It will never be about you.
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The reason disabled people make the news for going to prom is rooted in the fact that society believes disabled people are fundamentally incapable of doing literally anything, and is FLOORED by evidence to the contrary.
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Disabled people, what are some easy/simple accessibility fixes that abled society just seems to be ignoring?
Here’s one: It is inconceivable to me that, in the year of our Lord, 2020, there are still buildings I can’t get into because no ramps.
#Disability
#DisabilityTwitter
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Can we please stop shaming adults for liking cartoons and stuffed animals?
I will watch As Told By Ginger while hugging my favorite frog prince plushie until the sun eats the earth, and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that.
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Fellow disabled people, what will ableds never understand about disability?
I’ll start.
They’ll never understand how truly, VASTLY different it is from that one time they broke a leg when they were four.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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Fellow disabled people, what seemingly harmless behavior screams “I’m ableist AF”?
I’ll start: automatically asking parents and PCAs what we’d like to order at restaurants.
Servers, please stop doing this.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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Disabled peeps, what’s something that no one would guess causes you pain?
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“I could never live like you” is not a compliment.
Stop telling disabled people this and acting shocked when we don’t thank you for the sentiment.
It’s never a good look that you don’t understand how we don’t want to die.
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Fake positivity doesn’t erase real negativity.
Telling somebody to “be positive” doesn’t make them any less sad, angry, numb, or pained. It just changes how honest they are with you about what they’re feeling.
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Fellow disabled people, what are some examples of abled or neurotypical privilege?
I’ll start.
Abled privilege is not having to plan trips out lightyears in advance to account for everything you’ll need and everything that could go wrong.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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Raise your hand if you’re sick of people in power making decisions about disabled lives without consulting our community first, or listening to us ever. 🙋🏻♀️
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Disabled peeps, what basic activities exhaust you?
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I am disabled and (predictive text).
I am disabled and still not being treated like a real person.
My phone knows what’s up.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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We need to stop glorifying resilience.
People are only expected to be resilient because those in positions of power have absolutely no intention of doing a single thing about our toxic AF society.
I don’t want to be resilient in the face of abuse. I want the abuse to stop.
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Disabled people don’t exist to be morality lessons. It’s not our job to teach you how to be a good person out of pity for us. If that’s what you take away from interacting with disabled people, I suggest you take a good, long, hard look in the mirror and figure out why.
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For the last fucking time, STOP TELLING DISABLED PEOPLE TO BE GRATEFUL FOR “NOT HAVING TO WORK”.
We wish we could work without losing everything that (just barely) keeps us alive.
Seriously, you try surviving on $800 a month. It’s impossible.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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I love it when people ask me where my “helper” is, because why should they have to hold the door open for me?
Guys, we aren’t just “assigned” personal care attendants by default. It doesn’t work like that.
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Fellow disabled people, what do abled people think they understand about disability, but actually don’t?
I’ll start.
Permanent disabilities. I’m not getting better. I’m not suddenly gonna be cured tomorrow. I will always need my wheelchair. ALWAYS.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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You know you’re disabled when you’re sick and tired of having to prove that you’re not as functional as you look.
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Can we please stop shaming people for spending money on things like electric jar openers and pre-cut vegetables?
Accessibility is not shameful.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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Disabled peeps, have you ever been lied to about the accessibility of a place or thing?
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Disabled peeps, what’s the worst reaction someone’s ever had to you saying “I can’t do that”?
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So like, if I smile more, is the positivity fairy supposed to magically appear and carry me up the steps or…?
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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What’s the most ableist thing a doctor has ever done or said to you?
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When you feel inspired by disabled people, ask yourself why, because the reason matters.
If you’re inspired by an achievement that you hope to accomplish one day, cool. I’m glad I inspire you.
If my disability is EVER part of the reason, it’s offensive. Move along.
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I really wish abled people understood that our tiredness is not the same thing as their tiredness.
When I walk 10 feet in physical therapy, I feel as though I’ve run two consecutive marathons.
Yes, things are, in fact, “that hard”.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISVoid
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Hot take: Society has no right to be “inspired“ by disabled people for ANY reason if they’re gonna keep treating us like shit.
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Fellow disabled people, what's something that abled people STILL don't understand?
I'll start.
They still don't get that the cost of their comfort is too high if disabled lives are being sacrificed to achieve it.
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISvoid
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When you’re disabled, “feeling good” doesn’t mean what ableds think it means.
Feeling better than you did yesterday doesn’t mean you’re cured, or that you can suddenly do all the things.
It just means that yesterday’s pain hurts slightly less today.
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We won’t have marriage equality in the US or anywhere else until disabled people can get married without losing the services that keep us alive.
Right now, we’re punished for finding love.
That’s not equality.
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