Everyone's Favourite Jim
@JimmerUK
Followers
2,324
Following
689
Media
4,768
Statuses
21,962
Jack of all trades in digital media, creative, wannabe author, owner of a small human.
Croydon, London
Joined July 2009
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توتنهام
• 502612 Tweets
BIG FOUR RAIN
• 77437 Tweets
FREENBECKY INTERVIEW X FEED
• 61461 Tweets
AioonMay LOVE ORBIT
• 58798 Tweets
#PBBGen11BigFour
• 51973 Tweets
Kudus
• 33896 Tweets
West Ham
• 31653 Tweets
Spurs
• 31493 Tweets
Tottenham
• 30636 Tweets
ランウェイ
• 29960 Tweets
Brentford
• 28563 Tweets
Ange
• 17335 Tweets
#TOTWHU
• 14400 Tweets
スクイズ
• 13969 Tweets
Maddison
• 10336 Tweets
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“What is the charge? Dating a boy? A succulent legal boy?"
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Holy crap. Fisher Price have rereleased their toy telephone and it has Bluetooth, so you can actually use it as a telephone. I almost wish I worked in an office because I would use this.
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🚨BREAKING🚨
Charlotte Dujardin's victim reveals accusations.
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Off the back of the news that May is stepping down at the next GE, I've been seeing a lot of comments about how "she's one of the good ones". She isn't. She was a terrible person, and here are some of the reasons why...🧵
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Having a look at a Times Square live cam, and there are some big old BSOD there.
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@Brainmage
My Dad was able to buy a house and support our family on a single income... oh, and also his secret second family which I didn't find out about until I was 17. You couldn't afford a secret family nowadays.
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is interesting to look at. The .com isn't quite as bad, but as this is crowdsourced info, it won't be as all the yanks are still asleep.
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@paulybengali
Choose B. Choose the right fucking answer. Choose not embarrassing yourself on national television. Choose completing your cash builder. Choose beating the chaser and getting back to your team so you can help them in the final chase, win the pot and go home to your proud family.
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Well, I thought Sunak's speech was sincere and genuine.
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@fesshole
I remember reading an HR thing where they were complaining that something had to be done about people taking sick days on Mondays and Fridays, as together they accounted for 40% of absences. It didn’t occur to them that that’s how maths works.
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I've got a lot of work on, so naturally I ignore it all and do something silly instead.
Here is the Mcdonald's Fries Theorum. 🧵
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@InternetH0F
This is
@kevinbparry
. He has a link to how he did it.
Come on, guys. It’s not tricky to credit people.
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ABSOLUTE SCENES outside my home.
My wife just phoned, the police have cordoned off the area. A dog has bitten off a man’s penis. There is apparently a penis by my garage!
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@donttrythis
I love cardboard. I keep all my old boxes for when I suddenly get the urge to build things like this.
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This guy was deputy chairman for the Conservative Party not so long ago, now he’s standing on a table in a pub garden, talking to thirty people. Lol.
There's more people trying to pay by debit card in my local Sainsbury's at the moment.
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@Robsimons1980
@testedcom
@donttrythis
Leftover cardboard is a great building material. This is my current project...
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This has taken off and I don’t have a soundcloud to promote. Instead I’ll say this:
Phone your mates for a chat, they might not be doing so good. Check in on each other every now and then, sometimes reminding someone you’re there for them is all it takes.
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Here's the reddit thread on the Crowdstrike sub, the cause of all this, which is also interesting.
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@MooseAllain
This was all great until I get a phone call from him when he was 18, having had a meal with his first serious girlfriend and her parents... they ordered Chinese and he’d requested his favourite.
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If you're interested in art and thinking of coming to Croydon to see
#GrossDomesticProduct
by
#Banksy
, be sure to check out all the other street art in town. There's loads.
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A massive Banksy piece has just been unveiled in Croydon, taking up a whole shop unit.
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@jamabing
@PaulHusband_
I love this picture, you look stunning, but I’m getting a vibe from it.
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@g_998877
@StantML
@DannyShawBBC
@barneyfarmer
Then maybe ask if they’d like to sit with the audience, rather than parade them behind Johnson as if they were in support. Our police force should not be a prop.
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As the father of a 6y/o girl, I have to work hard to combat shit like this to make her feel she’s ‘allowed’ to live in a boy’s world. Types like these little cunts infect their younger brothers who in-turn give shit to my daughter for liking things that they like. Fuck them.
Marvel Rising is literally a Disney Channel show targeted toward little girls.
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@SimonNRicketts
I've just realised what's happening... he's expecting the soldiers to salute him before he walks through!
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@Nick_Pettigrew
I would spend many a happy hour here, pretending to captain a ship whilst drinking rum from a tankard.
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This is fucking terrible reporting.
@BBCNews
, you need to sort out this kind of language. Calling one side “pro-British” and the other side a “counter protest” is incitement.
BBC reporter has just described rioters as "a pro-British march"
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She was responsible for the 'Go Home!' vans.
Don't forget... The Home Office used ‘go home’ as an example of racist hate crime – despite emblazoning the same slogan on vans.
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Imagine being in a boring meeting with one of these on your desk. Your phone rings, you answer, then turn to your colleague "Sorry, I've got to take this, it's my mum."
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@metpoliceuk
“This is them, lads! The ones in pink. Planning to spoil the king’s party!”
“But it’s 2am. The procession isn’t for hours. Plus, they’re official volunteers for the council, ensuring women are safe in London.”
“We’re not too keen on protecting women. Sounds dodge. Nick ‘em.”
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As a reward for an excellent parent’s evening, coupled with the fact she really enjoyed Alien, I bought this for the sprog. Such a great design.
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@hansmollman
@Scientits
I’d argue that genZ work harder. They’re not the ones that would have a two-hour pub lunch and cruise through the afternoon, instead, being connected essentially 24/7 and expected to work outside their core hours for no extra.
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Don't forget... Prime Minister Theresa May promoted Boris Johnson to Foreign Secretary despite knowing all about his womanising and possible drug use, as aides had prepared a 'dirty dossier'.
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Don't forget... Home Secretary Theresa May proudly cut the ribbon on two new Indian restaurants in her constituency before deporting their staff a few months later.
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Don't forget... Prime Minister Theresa May restored the whip to MPs suspended over claims of sexual misconduct so they could support her in a no-confidence vote.
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@BrexitAlex
@Singletoncity
@UKLabour
@jayrayner1
@jessphillips
@jeremycorbyn
It’s mocking Jacob Rees Mogg’s language rules, issued after he became leader of the HoC.
Maybe pay attention to the news once in a while.
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Don't forget... Prime Minister Theresa May told a nurse - who hadn't had a pay rise for eight years - "There's no magic money tree".
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Boris Johnson is lying about having never lied. Here are just a few.
🔊Sound up.
#DontVoteTory
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It might be because I’m still tired this morning, but I had to read this headline three times.
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@Brainmage
Yep. I have a younger half-brother who is also called James. I guess he just loved the name.
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Don't forget... Prime Minister Theresa May vowed to be an LGBT+ ally for life, then abstained to vote for same-sex marriage just days later.
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Well, this is weird. I never normally get a full Wotsit signal.
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@fesshole
Stories like this always remind me of my brother and his love of 'bingy-bangies'. A short thread -
@MooseAllain
My pre-school brother was once sick whilst eating dinner. Mum (an oddbod) decided it was clearly the meat and from that point forward forced vegetarianism upon him.
Fast forward a good few months, Mum goes out and Dad orders in Chinese because he can’t be bothered to cook. ...
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Don't forget... Former Prime Minister Theresa May has earned more than £2.5million since leaving office - including six-figures in Saudi Arabia, a country she blocked officials from visiting when PM.
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Introducing the new BobbyBus® for your own personal safety. It fixes everything... doesn't it?
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@Camera75777374
@TewkesburyLeak
Yep. I’ve done similar, people disappearing in the background, or walking backwards. You get so focused on getting the main thing spot-on that you become blind to everything else, especially when you’re on a clock. Should have just masked it off.
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@MooseAllain
Shopping with wife and sister, I performed what can only be described as a prancing t-rex dance, ending with me slowly rotating, stomping, and squeaking. Halfway through, I discovered they had been replaced by a bemused stranger. I calmly completed the rotation and walked away.
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@taskmaster
I’m convinced Alan had absolutely no idea what he was going to do until that sound exploded out of his mouth.
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@KatyMontgomerie
I don’t even get how this argument helps them. If they believe this to be true, what do they think is going on when a girl likes trucks and a boy likes dolls? Using their logic, it’s arguable those people should transition due to their biological predisposition.
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@JimMFelton
“Do not kill your protestors... let your reporters roam free!” - Trump to Iran in January.
To the leaders of Iran - DO NOT KILL YOUR PROTESTERS. Thousands have already been killed or imprisoned by you, and the World is watching. More importantly, the USA is watching. Turn your internet back on and let reporters roam free! Stop the killing of your great Iranian people!
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Meta's new Twitter is called Threads which, for those of a certain age in the UK, brings up visions of nuclear holocaust. This reminded me of when I found out Sega means 'wank' in Italian, and wondered how often this happens.
Here's a list of things that got lost in translation.
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This seems to have legs and I don't have anything going on right now, so...
For brilliant illustrations -
@IamHappyToast
For incredible models of your house -
@bilbobarneybobs
For great abstract art -
@SirSandGoblin
For hilarious cards -
@gingertotty
And subscribe to
@b3ta
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@MooseAllain
My pre-school brother was once sick whilst eating dinner. Mum (an oddbod) decided it was clearly the meat and from that point forward forced vegetarianism upon him.
Fast forward a good few months, Mum goes out and Dad orders in Chinese because he can’t be bothered to cook. ...
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@darrengrimes_
Bit weird that your first thoughts about lockdown are “I could rape someone in the dark”, whilst everyone else is worried about their jobs, Darren.
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Oh, hi. You can mute Fleets btw.
(You can unmute them too.)
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I’ve come back after being out for a few hours, and it seems a few people like this.
I’m not selling anything, so:
• Support the arts.
• Be nice to each other.
• Phone your mum.
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@alexbell
@JamesHarkin
Once again, we have gathered round the microphone for our favourite fax of the last seven days.
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I can't believe the Queen threw subtle shade at Johnson with her choice of brooch this afternoon.
#QueensSpeech
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