Jeff Petri Dish
@JeffPetriDishv2
Followers
700
Following
416
Media
1,006
Statuses
6,441
Fat/Retard | Jeaner | 3/3 in beer league championship games | DMs are back open for the foreseeable future |
Joined March 2023
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@drew_peacock91
@cheeserburger
I tried putting “thirst” and counted with my fingers and still didn’t realize it wouldn’t work
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Guy at the bar: Hey aren’t you the guy that had 17 beers then drove home and took out a family of 4?
Me:
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Me when I accidentally step on a land mine in Afghanistan
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@AdamApp85384078
@BarryOnHere
@SnoopDogg
Dude this isn’t a laughing matter. Don’t underestimate the power and lethality of weed. My grandma overdosed 3 times before it finally killed her. I saw it each time as she was watching me. Luckily my mom gave me narcan before she dropped me off (I was 5 at the time)
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🚨 Retards of the Week 🚨
1.
@dontgiveupsoEZ
2.
@IanKennedyCK
(11🔥)
3.
@SportsnetSpec
4.
@Jaydziegelewski
5.
@drew_peacock91
Please note drew is only on here bc he’s been wanting to be on this list and I had nobody else for
#5
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31
@AnnaNoelleDua
Hey I’m Jeff,
I just want to let you know that my DMs are open if you ever wanna shoot the shit about some puck. Would love to pick your brain about it. Just an idea haha
- Jeff
3
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If you asked me I’m March when my original account got suspended if I think I’d ever reach 500 followers on this new account I probably would’ve said “eventually”. The grind is hard but I’m here now. That’s all I really have to say.
Oh thanks for the milestone fellas 🫡
10
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“You missed a potential match”
The “match” in question:
2
1
26
Who has the best Cheerleaders in Texas HS Football?
50
5
53
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1
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BREAKING: I have officially came up with a new bit for the TL. Proud to announce I am integrating the Good Noodle Star chart into the Burnerverse. Tweets that stand out to yours truly will get a star. After 20 GNS, you will prestige. Prizes to be announced later
5
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🚨 Retards of the Week 🚨
1.
@sabresens
2.
@AlexDaugherty1
3.
@25greenking
4.
@honestducksfan
5.
@IanKennedyCK
(12🔥)
3
0
22
One of the most anticipated awards that was given out goes to
@IanKennedyCK
for being the Retard of the Year. Congrats you fuckin loser
2
0
19
Best types of beer:
1. Another beer
2. Cold beer
3. First beer (of the night)
4. Behind the wheel beer
5. Shower beer
0
4
24
🚨 Official Statement regarding Retard of the Week 🚨
Kept it short - you’re welcome
1
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20
2013 marathon ‘22-‘23 Bruins
🤝
Exploding before the finish line
0
2
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1
2
23
Hey
@ThisIsKyleR
dont shoot anyone at this mass gathering this time
City of Kyle, Texas is inviting every Kyle around the world to meet up and break a world record.
Tag Kyle below so he knows.
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130
2K
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🚨 Retards of the Week 🚨
1.
@TheNasher61
2.
@JayBigs_
3.
@Timcast
4.
@IanKennedyCK
(8🔥)
5.
@meangirlpod
4
1
17
Best smells ranked:
1.) Cigarettes at amusement park
2.) new car smell
3.) fresh cut grass
4.) lavender
5.) gasoline
7
0
19
🚨 Retards of the Week 🚨
1.
@IanKennedyCK
(🔥6)
2.
@BigBlueNathan
3.
@jamesglynn71
4.
@dollarbillbluez
5.
@NEOEconGuy
and
@KYRA_RISING
It was a complete displeasure seeing you on the TL
8
0
20
Just realized that babies are dishwasher safe because that’s where they start the first 9 months of their life
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Post a pic of yourself vs the character you are in your head
Post a picture of yourself vs. the character you are in your head.
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🚨 Retards of the Week 🚨
(with evidence)
1.
@MathJoseph7
2.
@Unknown73711911
3.
@A1_BLANCHY
4.
@IanKennedyCK
(13🔥)
5.
@steelers
5
0
16
Just wanted to say happy Valentine’s Day to the one who’s always been a part of me <3
0
0
18
Pop a boner at a hot chicks funeral call that mourning wood
1
0
16
🚨 Retards of the Week 🚨
1.
@IanKennedyCK
(9🔥)
2.
@shegone03
3.
@jpolly22
4.
@leafs_c
5.
@TheNasher61
(2🔥)
5
0
14
Libs hate dentists bc they want you to have straight white teeth
3
0
15
🚨 Give a warm welcome back to the Retards of the Week list 🚨
1.)
@petbugs13
2.)
@hthrlynn
3.)
@IanKennedyCK
Congrats on being absolute losers on the TL, it was a complete displeasure
2
0
13
New raw footage released of me coming home from the bar last Friday
2
0
14
🚨 Retards of the Week 🚨
1.
@logcleve
2.
@IanKennedyCK
(10🔥)
3.
@boredgm
4.
@msdianesc
5.
@JohnUzenko
3
0
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Hope to see you at the 2nd annual SuBURNlative Awards Show on December 20th at 9:00 pm EST.
Hosted by yours truly
4
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Bedards first My car on
NHL goal NYE
🤝
Wrapped around a post
0
2
13
🚨 Retards of the Week 🚨
1.
@IanKennedyCK
(5🔥)
2.
@jpolly22
3.
@lexilafleur
4.
@LesleyASparks
5.
@princesslabrie
1
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Gay dudes Me at the bar
(Straight)
🤝
Talking to zero women
0
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The owner of this account has committed suicide. Please remember and respect the family at this time
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How it feels when I win $2 on blackjack in the FanDuel casino and quit
0
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If you sleep with a midget does your body count go up by .5?
2
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14
Was at the vape shop wearing my
@ReportsbyWario
“Confirmed” t shirt issued by
@BurnerWjp
and the cashier said he’s seen Wario’s tweets. Let’s go fellas!
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