Hunter Felt
@HunterFelt
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Not on here anymore! A former sportswriter who rambled about music, comedy and politics. (work email hunter @hunterfelt .com) Support my Patreon
Brighton MA
Joined May 2010
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Pinned Tweet
I will not be on Twitter after today but you can find me on BlueSky. Also I am writing a lot on my Patreon! In fact I should pin this post and am doing that now. Please follow me there!
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Meanwhile on the shelves of Philip K Dick's Sporting Goods.
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The Birth Of Twitter
EXECUTIVE 1: How about a site where, when news break people could all make the same exact joke.
EXECUTIVE 2: And then a D-List Celebrity could repeat it a day later and get all the attention!
EXECUTIVE 3 (IN FULL NAZI REGALIA): May I make a suggestion?
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Sony has the rights to Pete Best, Stu Sutcliffe and Mal Evans and will be attempting their own Beatle-verse at the same time.
4 separate biopic films are in the works about each member of The Beatles to all release in theaters in 2027.
Sam Mendes will direct each film which will be interconnected stories, one from each band member’s POV.
(Source: Deadline)
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@andrewperezdc
* high-profile white person is bad at their job *
PUNDITS: Is this a free-spirited maverick?
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Trump's latest tweet translation: "suburban" means white, "safety" means "away from black people," "low-income housing" means "black people," "Corey Booker in charge" means "black person in charge." It's "what if we make the entire tweet out of the racist dog-whistle."
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Yes, I'm worried about the Delta variant and rightly so, but I'll be honest I'm mostly getting vaccinated knowing that it will significantly reduce my risk of being exposed to an Eric Clapton concert.
Eric Clapton said he would cancel any shows if the venue requires attendees prove they are vaccinated against Covid-19.
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Like this sounds like a joke post but it's not: If you happen to be white and stranded in an ecological disaster alongside those who are not, it's your moral duty to volunteer to salvage for needed resources.
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Maybe the koalas are actually guilty, did you ever think of that?
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Another one for the "Would Be The Biggest Scandal Of Some Presidents' Entire Terms But Won't Even Be Trump's Biggest Scandal Today" Files
JUST IN: U.S. plans to host next year's G-7 Summit at the president's Trump National Doral Miami resort, White House acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney announces.
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"Don't Come Around Here No More" - Tom Petty
"Please Feel Free To Come Around Here More Often" - Tom Magnanimous
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HEARTBREAKING: The Worst Person You Know Just Pulled Off A Kickass Heist
REVEALED: Elizabeth Holmes allegedly duped Betsy DeVos' family out of $100 million
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He tried to warn us.
U.S. auto safety regulators have opened an investigation into Tesla's Model Y SUV after getting two complaints that the steering wheels can come off while being driven.
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@MattWelch
@timmarchman
@bariweiss
@kmele
Looking through all of these names. This is impressive, it's like the "Pointing Out That I'm Just Constantly Wrong Is Actually Censorship" All-Century Team.
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Tom Petty is trending and I worried that he had died and then I realized he was already dead and then I realized that my brain has yet to fully process that fact.
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Facebook memories just reminded me of the time that the Guardian gave the movie "Legend" two stars but the movie poster made it look like four.
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@Olivianuzzi
FASCIST IN THE NEW YORK TIMES: I think you should be murdered.
MARKETPLACE OF IDEAS: It's your burden to now explain why you shouldn't be murdered.
ME: Will the New York Times give me an op-ed too?
MARKETPLACE OF IDEAS: No.
CENTRIST: (Wiping away tear) It's so beautiful.
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FIGHT CLUB (1999)
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"This is how we get Trump" says Literal Reason We Got Trump
Democrats, please, please don’t lose your minds and rush to the socialist left. This president and his Republican Party are counting on you to do exactly that. America’s great middle wants sensible, balanced, ethical leadership.
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"Generation Z wants a girl with a short skirt and a looooong jacket." (trumpet solo)
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@scaary_vibes
@LolOverruled
@chick_in_kiev
IT WOULD BE FAR LESS CREEPY IF HE AT LEAST CAME OFF AS AN UNPLEASANT WEIRDO. IT'S THE DELIGHT THAT MAKES IT FRIGHTENING.
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@haphillips96
"That was incredibly embarrassing when you saved my life and I expect an apology" is a very real cat emotion
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Please nobody give me context for this.
I just deleted a picture of Hitler that I learned was photo shopped. I apologize. Too much coffee.
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I bet Oppenheimer first said something like, "Jesus Christ" or "fuck me" and then was like, "don't write that down, say I said something metal as hell instead."
[Robert Oppenheimer, hands clasped behind back, standing in front of the newly completed atomic bomb] Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds...
[another scientist who worked on the project] me too
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OH COME ON
Hear me out: Maybe the Boston Celtics Don’t Actually Have To Trade Kemba Walker?
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ME FROM LAST YEAR: Your summer going better?
ME NOW: Good news: there's a vaccine
ME FROM LAST YEAR: Oh good so...
ME NOW: ...But the virus has mutated. Also it's 100 degrees every day and the water is on fire.
ME FROM LAST YEAR: The water is-
ME NOW: The water is on fire. Yes.
The Gulf of Mexico is literally on fire because a pipeline ruptured
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A reminder that we were swamped with reports about our "individual carbon footprints" as part of a deliberate campaign run by those in the U.S. who were overwhelmingly responsible for most carbon emissions.
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@beanytuesday
@MarkAgee
Jerry: Havana Syndrome? And they bought it?"
George: Hook, line and sinker.
Jerry: The sinker too? You think the hook would be enough.
Kramer: (bursts through door) Did you hear the news, Jerry? We're going to war against Cuba! Something about Ivana's syndrome?
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@Lubchansky
@molliekatie
"The Green Ribbon" is the ultimate example of "fuck around and find out."
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@Shame_Memory_
@sirosenbaum
@feraljokes
As someone on Twitter pointed out, there's a solid chance human civilization could end because Ray Romano bombed in the NewsRadio pilot
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@andrew_durso
There was a point where both he and Bill Cosby were hardcore about only doing family-appropriate movies and honestly that should be a red flag.
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YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO MAKE A LIFELIKE MODEL OF IT YOU SICK FUCKS WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS
Living in what is now northeastern North America and Scotland around 315 to 299 million years ago, Arthropleura reached 2.4 meters in length and was the largest known land invertebrates of all time
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"ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT NO CHARACTER IN A MICHAEL SCHUR SITCOM IS 100% STRAIGHT."
"First of all, sir, please lower your voice, this is a hospital. Secondly: wait, even Mark Brendanawicz?"
"THAT'S WHY THEY WROTE HIM OFF."
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@NathanBacaTV
@DCPoliceDept
@wusa9
I feel like calling her an "anti-abortion activist" is like calling Jeffrey Dahmer an "unconventional cuisine enthusiast."
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Today is a sacred day. Yes, on this date nine years ago, a man drove to Temecula, on Christmas, in an attempt to fight a fellow Twitter user to defend Kobe Bryant. Happy "Meet Me In Temecula" Day to all who celebrate.
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I think the one common thread with everyone tweeting out "man the Kids in the Hall reunion made me unexpectedly emotional" is that we all had it *pretty* rough growing up. If you watched this regularly, safe to say you had some things going on.
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@PMensab
@SwampCommunist
This is a line from a Tim Robinson sketch. "Of course I know that the whole point of the story is that the windmills are IMAGINARY that's why I'm using them to represent the threat that is REAL AND DANGEROUS. Why do I have to keep explaining myself on this?"
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@aedison
This is going to lead to AI Chatbots having more rights than most minority groups isn't it?
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@residual_energy
One thing I've learned about drugs is that for some types of racist it helps them unlock previously inaccessible levels of racism. They transcend to a higher level of bigotry.
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@Lubchansky
@BrandyLJensen
My 11-year old niece had one piece of a THC-infused Whatchamacallit bar a year ago and she's already listening to Krautrock. She spends all her time at thrift stores hunting for Amon Duul II vinyl records.
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@rajandelman
Even when rock and rap came along, my grandpa used to still rant about what a disgrace jazz music was. Which was weird to me because he listened to so much big band and that was performed by like 70% jazzmen.
After he died I realized he was a massive racist.
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@HelloCullen
CARPENTER: I think... I think you were just mentioned in the new Bob Dylan hit single?
CARPENTER'S WIFE: Oh, it mentions a Lydia?
CARPENTER: Not exactly
CARPENTER'S WIFE: The hard work I put it at the non-profit? My rich interior life?
CARPENTER: Umm
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Rebecca Black's journey from undeservedly becoming an internet laughing stock to queer dance-pop icon is one of my favorite pop culture stories of the 21st century.
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*sees notifications on this tweet* Of all the times not to have a SoundCloud.
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I like how the best way that ownership could properly celebrate the culture of Washington D.C. was by making their mascot a literal War Pig.
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This sounds like a ridiculous thing to post but, well, the chances of you getting stranded in an ecological disaster are just going to keep dramatically increasing the deeper we get into the 21st century so it's just something to keep under your hat.
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DERRICK ROSE: I don't know what consent is and I want you all to die.
NBA ANNOUNCER: I will say this: if you're a basketball fan and you're not moved by this man's comeback you have a heart of ice.
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I used to wonder what it was like to go to school in an authoritarian country and it took me until very recently to realize that I was in elementary school during the Reagan years so I 100% already knew.
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The existence of a Right Said Fred presupposes the existence of a Wrong Said Fred, a Said Fred so unsexy that it requires an endless supply of shirts.
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@katieisfunke
I think the funniest thing for me is the Idea of a Famous Maker Of Calzones. "Yes, it's me, the Calzone Celebrity."
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@trypectopah
@lib_crusher
The amount of sexual harassment claims that have been deliberately suppressed by HR in this particular workplace over the last few years has to be double-digits.
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Let's all unite to admit that no matter our sexual orientation, gender or political beliefs, that we all have a crush on Kate McKinnon.
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@ZoeSchiffer
@jason_a_w
The amazing thing is that I've never seen this many bots in my DMs in my life and this sounds like an across the board problem.
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Beyond the lunacy of comparing the two, it should also be noted that in order to keep NYC moving, as I keep mentioning, they deliberately lied about the toxic air quality leading to more deaths. So.
Brian Kilmeade tries to draw another comparison between 9/11 and coronavirus, noting that "New York kept moving" shortly after 9/11, but with coronavirus, "we stopped."
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@meakoopa
This is the correct response to Star Trek IV. "This is the worst plot ever, and yet... maybe it's the best plot ever?"
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@HutchIyh
Hello, I'm a white older millennial who grew up lower middle-class in the suburbs and I'm here to say that there's exactly one acceptable mustard for hot dog use and it's this:
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*gestures wearily to everything around him*
quote tweet this with something a straight person just fucking ruined
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Also: Operation Ivy still holds up. I will defend that self-titled compilation until my death.
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@Sarahthelizard
@vivmccall
@LeftAtLondon
Disney out here trying to do the representation politics deflection without even really providing any representation. "Like our work features a lot of rainbows, what more do you want?"
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COMING UP NEXT ON SPORTS YELLING NETWORKS: "Is PLAYER X good enough at his position to be allowed to speak about institutional racism?"
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My favorite thing about the Umbrella Academy news are the people going "how are they going to explain his transition?" Like it's going to be a confusing twist to add to the Time-Traveling Magic Kids & Genius Apes Show.
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Oops! All Ringos
3rd Secret is a new supergroup featuring Krist Novoselic, Matt Cameron, and Kim Thayil. Their debut album is out right now.
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@bfishbfish
This is like the moral of "Sullivan's Travels" when the comedy director wants to make a movie about the Great Depression and learns that most people don't want to see that shit because they had to goddamn live through it and just want more silly comedies.
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@maggieNYT
Hey a fun thing would be to judge the leader of the free world by higher standards than a particularly cranky six-year old.
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Drake has heard "I'll see Ye featuring Marilyn Manson and raise him an R. Kelly songwriting credit."
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@nerdjpg
New Atheism was like, "what if you hate organized religion but liked the excuse to hate other groups of people? WELL YOU'RE IN LUCK"
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Westbrook on Albert Einstein: "He had some good ideas."
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"Your third arrest, you to jail for life." "Why the third?" "Because in a game a guy gets three times to swing a stick at a ball."
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LEFT TWITTER: (to Media) Hey, why are you just glossing over George W Bush’s role in starting the Afghanistan debacle?
MEDIA: George W. Bush? You mean, like, the painter?
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Every few months I have to repost the greatest moment in "interviews with literary biographers" history: "Oh, he stabbed his wife, yeah."
Having observed the Discourse for awhile, I think my strongest Hot Take is this: Norman Mailer has gotten off scot-free
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@bladeefan13
@weedhitler
I don't think I'm ready for a generation that has never not known Twitter.
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NANCY CRAMPTON'S LAWYER: I'm not going to sugarcoat this, we got ourselves a bit of an uphill battle here.
BREAKING: ‘How to Murder Your Husband’ author Nancy Crampton Brophy has been found guilty of her husband's murder.
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@sdbcraig
@xoxogossipgita
Underrated 2020 moment: Neil Gaiman getting in trouble with the law for breaking quarantine in order to separate from Amanda Palmer:
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Has any band been hurt more by the near-extinction of the "Greatest Hits" album than The Black Keys? If this were the 70s they'd have a compilation that was like 12 songs long, all bangers, that every household would own. Like Steve Miller Band.
when the guitar riff of Lonely Boy hits on the freeway
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@groenbot
To be fair, my main take on "The Corrections" was that Jonathan Franzen absolutely should never write about women, so I get what he's saying here in a way.
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Well I was hesitant about "Better Call Saul" and we saw how that turned out, so I'm in.
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