Ben Goldstein
@GoldsteinRaw
Followers
2,201
Following
1,248
Media
1,451
Statuses
15,452
5-time #Jeopardy champ and 2024 Tournament of Champions participation trophy winner! / Wife Guy at @shemoji / Director of Content at
Dexter, MI
Joined August 2011
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Sonya Massey
• 363045 Tweets
Kimberly Cheatle
• 304019 Tweets
Macaya
• 299955 Tweets
オールスター
• 210872 Tweets
ALWAYS WITH KIM TAEHYUNG
• 172301 Tweets
Roro
• 87703 Tweets
Sophie
• 84019 Tweets
審神者証
• 67017 Tweets
Benedict
• 64936 Tweets
MILKLOVE X LH
• 64091 Tweets
Machado
• 56470 Tweets
Jimmy Carter
• 24821 Tweets
リーリヤ
• 20434 Tweets
Bengals
• 17580 Tweets
Benedetti
• 16987 Tweets
BS朝日
• 16987 Tweets
放送事故
• 16045 Tweets
President Carter
• 15195 Tweets
BINI 1ST WIN ON CHOEAEDOL
• 13438 Tweets
チェンソーマン
• 13006 Tweets
#الحلبوسي_المطرود
• 12897 Tweets
ECHR
• 10651 Tweets
This was absolutely insane, but it was also one of only three times that a joke has been successfully told on the show.
57
655
12K
@MrBean
@fomo_lab
@YahooFinance
a lotta yall still dont get it
bean holders can use multiple slurp juices on a single bean
so if you have 1 tweed bean and 3 slurp juices you can create 3 new beans
7
34
2K
@normal_now
Whenever my wife is yelling at me about something, I say "Ma'am this is a Wendy's" and she doesn't talk to me for the rest of the night, it's awesome.
5
76
1K
@ghoulcabin
[*hears police siren in the distance*] welp, there's my ride hahaha no but seriously guys i should get going
1
22
1K
@cadaverousmutha
My interpretation is that once she realized the joke didn't land in the room, she panicked and quickly pretended she was in fact talking about snow on her honeymoon.
8
1
751
Jon Jones giving up alcohol but also getting really into guns is kind of a wash in terms of the long-term safety of the people around him.
35
30
600
Sometimes I think about the handful of remaining progressive/leftist MMA fans out there, the ones who are like "look, I don't agree with anything this promotion stands for politically, but it's very important that I keep seeing guys get kicked in the head every week."
PUNCHING BACK: UFC founder blasts "woke" culture — why his company refuses to follow other brands.
718
342
5K
96
27
570
Donald Glover was really front row at the
#Emmys
as Teddy Perkins?? They showed him for like 0.6 seconds before the director cut away, horrified.
0
68
511
@pknegten
She thought this was the Newlywed Game. "What's the strangest place you've ever made whoopee" vibes
2
1
519
I did that Conor McGregor style shoulder-shot thing while wrestling with my three-year-old this morning, and let me tell you, that shit *works*.
4
40
484
@richard_normal
Love that Rupert's fiancee was ideologically identical to the average FOX viewer and Rupert was like "ew, get this insane rube away from me"
2
20
469
When your President tweets with the same syntax and level of coherence as SuperCalo >>>>>>>
16
28
284
@jennifersnudes
Oh my God it has not one but *two* of those door-stopper things that go sprrrrrooiiiinnnng
0
1
255
@SAMOYEDCORE
[*trying to not come off as a lame white guy at the Indian restaurant*] uhhhh can I get a whole broiled goat with the hairs still on it?
3
1
239
My wife wants to adopt a three-legged dog for our next dog. I've always wanted a five-legged dog. I suggested that we meet in the middle and now she's mad at me.
7
16
231
In the future, the only jobs left will be Uber ambulance driver, prison guard, and human grappling dummy for Yoel Romero.
6
42
195
The greatest/longest thing I ever wrote for CagePotato—once believed to be lost forever—is available once again thanks to the
@internetarchive
. (🙏🙏🙏) Got 46 minutes to spare?
#ufc
#mma
#history
#failure
27
43
194
So like...Wario Yamasaki?
2
29
191
I would start an MMA podcast called "Two Guys and a Girl Who Don't Actually Watch the Fights Anymore," where I would argue with my co-hosts like, "Are you nuts? Did you watch the same GIF I did??"
18
9
184
@ZeroSuitCamus
Every time my kids get really quiet in the house, I find them underneath the dining room table watching this exact kind of shit on their ipads.
0
0
190
Yes! Thank you for getting the reference!!
@GoldsteinRaw
I have a very important question. Was this victory uppercut a reference to “Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!” on the NES?
2
1
20
9
16
192
The other day at the grocery store, I saw a boy of about 12 put his arms around his little sister as if he was going to hug her, then quickly transition to a rear-naked choke.
This, more than anything, is the legacy of MMA.
1
30
169
@titoortiz
Mr. Ortiz, the joke being delivered in this clip is that conservative voices are *not* being silenced, since you constantly see/hear them in major media channels. Does that make sense now? Also, have you ever watched the TV show 'Friends'?
1
1
160
@DSBrenchley
@CalebJHull
@AnnCoulter
What's the average life expectancy for Americans? Subtract 18 from that number...that should be the *maximum* voting age.
3
1
154
LEFTISTS: The high cost of childcare forces women out of the workforce and compounds pay inequality. Government-subsidized childcare has to be a priority in any progressive platform.
LIBERALS: Sloppy joes should be called sloppy janes.
6
31
161
This is the first time in my life that I've felt like a presidential candidate is pandering to me, and it feels wonderful.
5
18
152
1
9
147
Interesting discussion of the "Why doesn’t
#Jeopardy
pay airfare and accommodations" question here. Personally, I think covering travel/lodging would make the show more accessible to a wider range of contestants. Not everyone can afford a trip to LA with no guarantee of payback.
This week's edition of Andy's Weekly Thoughts contains, as Alex used to say back in the day, "something for every taste"—including my thoughts on why I think the games have been harder recently, as well as something for soup fans:
#Jeopardy
3
1
21
39
9
151
A strong message to their prom dates: sleep with my dad, and I'll kill you.
Prom night in America. Sophomore girls, Billings Montana.
3K
761
2K
9
26
150
The first dozen times twitter put this guy onto my timeline, I thought it was Wanderlei Silva.
4
6
144
Update via
@livininjeopardy
. I'm thrilled to own an all-time
#Jeopardy
record, and I have a feeling it will stand for a long time 😎
6
4
150
Correction: Assistant *to* the Regional UFC Interim Welterweight Champion
Rafael dos Anjos vs. Colby Covington for interim welterweight title set for UFC 224 (includes first comments from Covington) —
72
123
373
4
14
140
Every👏American👏should👏be👏tested👏for👏coronavirus
[*sees video of how coronavirus test is administered*]
How👏about👏I👏just👏stay👏inside👏for👏nine👏more👏months
4
19
137
CASHIER: I'm sorry, we're out of Bud Light
TUIVASA: Well how bout you just piss in your own shoe and I'll drink that
CASHIER: Sir, I said we're *out of Bud Light*
Tuivasa just asked me for my shoe to do a shoey. I said I didn’t have alcohol. He said I can piss in it. I asked if he’s ever had that, he said hell yeah. I did not give him my shoe.
78
475
3K
3
13
122
The ability to strike effectively while unconscious is a tremendous advantage in this sport.
4
23
120
Can't wait to pay $60 for one of these on eBay, then put it on my desk at work where nobody knows who Fedor is.
13
9
110
0
0
112
[*filming strangers in an airport bathroom*] Look at these freaks!!
Welcome to Kansas City where they have ALL GENDER bathrooms…I hate this.
15K
813
5K
8
17
119
A lot of people are attributing my
#Jeopardy
run to "luck," when they should be attributing it to hand-eye coordination.
15
3
111
Cops staying home means that crime in NYC is about to skyrocket. (Specifically, the crimes of domestic violence and insurance fraud.)
7
15
107
@Kree_Darnor
@Ov3rturf
@wyatt_privilege
True, but this one appears to be a windowless cinderblock tomb.
2
0
102
Librarian is doing that gangster move where you hold your hands behind your back inviting the other person to swing first, so that whatever happens next is "self defense"
Illinois librarian holds her ground as an antimasker films himself throwing a tantrum after being asked to wear a mask.
5K
5K
49K
3
10
101
"He shouldn't try to shake my hand. We're not cool like that. He fights in my bracket, man, he's in my weight class. I'm not trying to make something that it ain't, I'm not putting on a front...I'll probably be fighting you next, so you go your way, I'll go mine." -Nate Diaz
3
16
104
@GodfreySmash
@SimonJadis
@redditships
"Well gee, I would love to, dear, but we don't have insurance! What am I supposed to do?" This dude hasn't even considered getting a job as an *option*.
2
0
96
*nervously deletes my "Sex trafficking plans" google doc*
It New Year’s Eve. I am drunk. Here are my resolutions:
1. If you can plan on killing innocent people, I will kill you.
2. If you plan any form of sex trafficking, I will kill you.
3. If plan on hurting one weaker than you. I don’t know what I will do but I promise it will hurt.
312
808
9K
7
6
98
Hitting the "I don't like this ad" button doesn't really do anything, huh
13
7
102
The funny thing about this "lowest-scoring multi-day champ in
#Jeopardy
history" stuff is that it was never my intention to be a small-ball, risk-averse player.
I wanted to be like
@Jeopardamy
: Aggressive at first, then switching to defense-mode after getting a big lead. (1/3)
10
3
105
Look, I'll just say it: Has anyone actually *seen* Stipe Miocic put out a fire?
8
8
96
Performative Roxanne Modafferi fandom is a way for MMA hipsters to prove their pre-TUF bonafides, and none of you actually enjoy watching her fight.
No need to @ me, let's just agree on this and move on.
26
7
95
Quick message to the haters: I’d rather win ugly than lose pretty.
Game 4 is today. BG Army 🔥fire up🔥
#Jeopardy
18
3
102
Thread of fun facts and stats from my
#Jeopardy
run:
1) If I had bet $0 in every Final Jeopardy, I still would have won my first five games, and would have netted an additional $18,002 over the course of my run.
7
7
97
If you're the kind of
#Jeopardy
fan who loves to publicly criticize the contestants' performances and the quality of the questions...you won't want to miss today's episode!
Ben vs. Tym vs. Janie. Who will survive—and what will be left of them??
19
7
97
"I need to spend more time with my family."
[*spends 3 days with family*]
"Yes, I will travel to New Zealand."
3
6
86
It's funny as hell that there's a UFC event happening right now. Dana White is so pissed about Biden's inauguration that he's counter-programming it.
3
8
84
If you're married to someone with Nazi tattoos, that makes you a Nazi sympathizer by definition.
Not trying to subtweet anyone in particular, just thinking out loud here.
#UFC
8
7
83
@TheBigMigShow
@elonmusk
What if I told you that Elon Musk himself is a member of the Global Elite
3
1
85
Sending $10,000 checks to a hand-picked collection of the 30 most annoying posters on this site in order to convince tens of thousands of no-hopers to pay $8/month for Twitter Blue is what's known as a "marketing expense"
3
8
75
Me talking shit about how old Clay Guida is, then checking Wikipedia and realizing I'm a year older than him.
#UFCNorfolk
4
5
78
Love to get caught up in the
@Newsweek
garbage mill for respectfully expressing a good opinion.
Interesting discussion of the "Why doesn’t
#Jeopardy
pay airfare and accommodations" question here. Personally, I think covering travel/lodging would make the show more accessible to a wider range of contestants. Not everyone can afford a trip to LA with no guarantee of payback.
39
9
151
20
4
82
I wonder if being a beloved, marketable figure is within the top 500 of things Khabib Nurmagomedov gives a shit about.
This was Khabib's opportunity to win people over as person to get behind. I don't think this was the way to do it.
156
146
961
7
5
79
Answering "The Replacements" in a fictional band category...yep, that one's gonna haunt me my entire life.
#Jeopardy
12
0
83
It kills me to know that Jorge Masvidal's next opponent will probably call him Jorge "Lamebred" Masvidal, when Jorge "Inbred" Masvidal is way funnier.
4
4
83
@KyleGallner
@_Extra_CHRISpy
Because sitting through a bad movie that you thought was going to be good is a shitty experience, and human beings seek community in shared experiences. It's normal, and I'd even say healthy.
8
1
78
My man looks like he just tried to rob Renzo Gracie in an alley.
That joke was for all you old-school MMA fans, love you all, Merry Christmas!!
8
1
80
MMA fanfic idea: Following surgery, Evangelista Santos doesn't remember ever being married to Cris Cyborg. They fall in love all over again.
2
12
75
Dern is already an elite BJJ player, and now that she's added cardio kickboxing to her game it's over for you hoes.
14
6
72
My reply to this tweet earned me a 12-hour timeout in twitter jail yesterday. Suggesting that Jon Jones's alleged victim shouldn't be trusted because she's a waitress at a strip club? Still perfectly fine in twitter's book.
9
8
76
@hasanthehun
It's wonderful. One guy always talks, one guy never talks...I'd be happy to join their crew as the guy who sometimes talks.
1
0
70
Tfw you're the only hardcore MMA fan in your group of friends:
0
22
65
I'm very close to tears about this, because how in the world do you go with "Cracker Jill" instead of "Cracker Jackie"?
Cracker Jill? Cracker goddamned JILL??
Have to imagine someone out there has come to tears in anger about this
5
9
31
17
11
72
@LFJFT96
@strangeharbors
The twist is that he's not really the serial killer, he's just an awkward dad.
1
0
71
@FullContactMTWF
calling my insurance company to see if they cover getting a vuvuzela pounded into me with a croquet mallet
1
1
70
In a 6-year period, we had Dune (1984), Beetlejuice (1988), and Tremors (1990).
Then, for some reason, giant sandworms fell out of fashion.
5
10
67
It was the future, and all offending words had asterisks.
"Could you pass the m*lk, d**rling," Henry said to his wife Mildred one morning.
But Mildred, as always, just stared into space, wordless.
Morning Report: Luke Rockhold dismisses ‘little m**get’ Kelvin Gastelum: I’d slap him down real quick
52
28
120
6
8
67
Thinking about getting "CERRONE" tattooed really big on my back.
10
0
69
BREAKING: Joe Biden has caught the Golden Snitch, worth 350 electoral votes. It's over, folks. It's over.
3
12
64
My three-point political platform is simple:
- Everything should be machine washable
- Everything should be dishwasher safe
- When you highlight a line in Google docs and change the format to H3, only that line should be affected, not the two goddamned paragraphs above & below it
7
9
66
I can't begin to express how over it is for you hoes.
13
8
66
We'll look back at this fight as "the one where the crowd almost gave Joe Rogan a seizure with their phones."
4
11
67