Rupert Schminkeldorf
@DiggingUpGraves
Followers
954
Following
1,177
Media
573
Statuses
6,257
Concocting vile spells all made to inconvenience your life he/him
not my ex-wife's house
Joined June 2014
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Wizard Twitter. Just last night Greg came into my spire and peppersprayed me
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That's my father he's looking to find and kill me
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She divorced me again
YES YES I CAN FEEL IT! With this final spell I shall finally undo, MY DIVORCE
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Give it sentience and watch it suffer the folly of man
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Stop giving him attention he's actively looking to kill me. You're giving him more power
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WRONG, I would not tell you
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I punish my foul homonculi by making them guzzle gas
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WOKE Wizard twitter be like:
GAY Wizard
WOMAN Mage
They/themzard
Greg
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Best fanservice moments in wizard twitter
[A thread 🧵🧵🧵]
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Green potion
You can only add one thing to this breakfast, but ketchup is not an option. What do you add?
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Terrible idea, please don't. They're constantly prepping fireball and it's hot as shit
Thinking about buying some magic gauntlets, thoughts?
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I hope the knight kills my father before he finds me
they sent their greatest knights to find the ancient little wizard
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Why do you harbour so much hate
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I emulated this guys life and it was really sad. Just made me utterly depressed. Christ I don't even want to go out and cast fireballs at passersby
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>group is called Wizard Twitter
>Where are the wizOH MY GOD
>Game is called Devil May Cry
> There are no devil’s that may- YOOOOOOOOOOOO
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I can literally cast fireball I think that can easily destroy a person
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Nobody ever invites me to see and do fun stuff like this
I WORE THIS TO THE WIZARD'S BALL AND GOT STABBED 16 TIMES IN THE CHEST THEN SET ON FIRE
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That gnomes are perfect fast food
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We fed shrooms to our classmate Abdul and he wrote the necronomicon
what was “the incident” at your mages guild?
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That time I found the porn channel on the Orb
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Goblins are an invasive species. They invade my spire and steal my shit so I steal their lives with a hammer and wicked spells
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Who remembers when the sky was blood red, when Xabaltrar the Horrendous came down from the heavens to curse us all
Who remembers when the sun was golden not silvery, the sky was deep rich blue, not pale milky blue, and robust gorgeous cirrus clouds were everywhere, crisply delineated in the sky; when the sky was not plagued with weird streaks that spread with horrid inevitability, blocking
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I just use gnomes and goblins in my sushi
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I fucking hate all of this magic shit some sorceror just inverted my fucking scrotum
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Oh Greg you silly goober
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The foul goblin has annoyed me for the last time!
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The deep state pictures that The Wizard doesn't want you to know about
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Me if if me if stealing when me if steal when
*Pees robes*
me if stealing tweets were illegal in five out of the seven realms
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What foul creature is this? Is this the result of gnome inbreeding or foul magics?
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He's so me
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HEARTWARMING: Poor orphan child given a job working in my meth lab
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The cashier when I ready a level 9 fireball in front of her face
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YES YES I CAN FEEL IT! With this final spell I shall finally undo, MY DIVORCE
@DiggingUpGraves
Rupert I’m not supposed to use it but I do have unlocked the “un divorce spell”
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Here you go freaks, the execution of Sonic the Hedgehog
To celebrate 400, I'm executing Sonic the Hedgehog tomorrow
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My image stolen by that foul fucking rat
In Florida rn and there’s a crazy wizard character with an orb… ermmmm, what the deuce?
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Ever since losing my gnomes I've been in dire financial troubles
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Goblin's blood you dimwit
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Not my ass stumbling *a goblin circumcises me* WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT
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Admit it, who's been microflirting with my fucking homunculus
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I can't do it, I can't be mean to Elmo. He helped me get through the divorce
Elmo thought you might need this! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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This ugly gnome came to my spire asking for tasty treats. I bashed its fucking head in
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I lost my heart the moment my wife took it in the divorce
"Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all." - Aristotle
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@Pickaxe81789248
@HagvardL
@ManMilk2
It's tiresome to keep doing that, so I'm pretty glad that dude reminded me I could mute words n stuff
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Hey can you give me the three digits on the back of your wand?
[1/24]⚠️IMPORTANT⚠️WIZARDS PLEASE READ FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY!!!!
there's a scam going around on WIZARD TWITTER that's dangerous and genuinely convincing to some! i unfortunately fell victim to it, and once i realized what was going on, it was too late.
[more info in 🧵 thread]
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How's everyone faring under the Bimbleocalypse? I found some delicious gruel to eat that I will NOT share
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My divorce
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Fascists get flayed on sight, keep away from me and my fellow magical friends
One quick reminder: wizards do not tolerate fascists. We're beings of chaos and mischief, not division and hate. Keep that shit out of here
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THEY'RE TRYING TO EXTERMINATE US, WE NEED TO FIGHT BACK
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My father taught me this trick when I was a young mage. It is why I have a dent in my skull
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A second orphan has hit my methlab
HEARTWARMING: Poor orphan child given a job working in my meth lab
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I fucking hate everything so much I just shot a butterfly with fireball FUCK YOU
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As the new wizard council takes form, what new policies would you like to see?
No we will not stop the consumption of gnomes
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Nevermind I lost 8 followers gonna Rupend it all
Awesome, 900 freaks are following. I'm building a f r e a k y army
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Gnome blood
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HEARTWARMING
President JOE BIDEN impregnated via TRUMPS insemination SPELL!!
Will it be boy or gnome?
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Skibidi Wizards
Wizards and their orbs are no better than children with their tablets I’m afraid
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Fuck me something just crawled inside my penis. Could it be the urethra gnome?
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Perhaps I don't need my ex-wife, a legion of loyal goblins will fill the void too
If Rupert Schminkeldorf has one million supporters, I am one of them
If Rupert Schminkeldorf has 5 supporters, I am one of them
If Rupert Schminkeldorf has 1 supporter, it is me
If Rupert Schminkeldorf has no supporters, I have fallen dead
I 💚 RUPERT SCHMINKELDORF!!
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Without The Wizard, who would poison all the dogs? Please choose wisely everyone in this
#GregWizardWar
. Choose The Wizard
As my old rival Greg nears me in followers, you must know I can no longer be THE wizard if I am not the most followed wizard.
That means, yup, you guessed it. I will die.
Who will you choose in the
#GregWizardWar
? Remember, a follow for Greg is a vote for the Wizard to die...
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Date idea: I cry in the restaurant, threaten to cast power word kill on myself when you try to walk out, and then order the calamari before throwing up on your lap
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More unnecessary gnome inclusion in cinema. Has the woke mind gone too far?
Peter Lord reveals the new ‘WALLACE & GROMIT’ film will have a robotic gnome as the villain.
“Wallace has gone completely bonkers, making machines for every conceivable purpose and he invents a robotic gnome.”
(Source: )
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WOOOOO MAMA HUBBUDAHUBBUDAH *eyes pop out* *tongue rolls out* *my cock explodes*
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I'm going to place multiple pipe bombs in your abode for wasting my time, hear me The Wizard
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This is one of the creepiest bot dms I ever got jesus fucking christ
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All you will be is dust when I'm done with you miscreant
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Ooughh I ate so much pussy last night, my belly is full of clitorises... Buuurp urp
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I'm almost at "300" "followers", I don't know what this means but I need the attention please stalk me more I'm so fucking lonely
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My soul and the one who currently owns it
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I had to imprison a goblin after it tried stealing my potions
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I'm sad they didn't get to kill him. He is still mt father out for my blood
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I was a asleep what did I miss GOOD LORD
BOW DOWN TO YOUR NEW MASTER, MORTALS! BIMBLE SHALL BECOME MASTER OF EARTH
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Just gonna quickly share this here
@DiggingUpGraves
@anti_vamp_union
@FighterPosting
I honestly think that account is not a satire of conservatives, I believe they are genuinely fascist and racist.
I am confused about it because everyone seems to be fine with them so I wonder if I'm the one misreading it.
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Awesome, 900 freaks are following. I'm building a f r e a k y army
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Oh no queen, you look so sugoi and *a clown quickly sucks me off* wait what the fuck did you guys see that?
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To celebrate 400, I'm executing Sonic the Hedgehog tomorrow
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So sad, orb, play Weezer please
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So many, I am overwhelmed. I wonder if they will all fight eachother over me
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I've got a simple solution to get a new sun. Strap a goblin to 'the chair' and swing it around in the air fast enough until its energy production creates light. That'll certainly work
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Een vuurballetje voor je ballen
knew dutch was an evil little language but this is deeply unsettling
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The horrible goblin I'm going to torture after my shift
I DARE YOU to name a single thing you’re more excited for than WICKED‼️
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Everyone is so selfish here, "oh Rupert please don't eat the last scrap of food", "oh Rupert please don't bash my face in with your hammer!" What is this, the courtroom I lost my kids in? Pansies
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Someone replaced all the spells in my books with yaoi
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I'm doing my part and voting for the big blue freak
when people say “vote blue no matter who” what they really mean is we should be writing in max rebo
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