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Christy Stratton Profile
Christy Stratton

@ChristySMann

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2,954
Following
642
Media
187
Statuses
3,401

TV writer, Rock & Roll Jeopardy champion

Joined September 2012
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
1 year
Dear people who engage with me on Twitter! You are few but you are mighty. I'm so sorry to come at you in this way, after all your loyalty, but I promise this thing will be VERY COOL
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@daybreaker @KrangTNelson This made me laugh until I cried. Bobson Dugnutt will not soon be forgotten
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
@davidmweissman Isn't it all Dark MAGA?
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
1 year
@julie_bush I think what people in this thread don’t realize is, although these people have been stars to us, when u are trying to sell a show to a producer or studio, these actors (pre-Succession) wouldn’t be considered as big enough to get an automatic sale from a buyer
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
5 years
@ashleyn1cole Elizabeth Warren never tells you she’s having surgery until after she’s fully recovered
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@martinjmiller7 @IngrahamAngle Get your head out of your ass
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
8 years
I just lied to a cheese monger and said I needed cheese for 4 when I only need cheese for 2. Another lie ALL CHEESE IS FOR ME
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
@ThatEricAlper I don't mind you coming here and wasting all my time
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
10 years
The SIDS In The Hall #RuinThe90s @midnight
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
Not my proudest moment as a parent, but def up there, is teaching my son to use the phrase “Know what I mean, Vern?” with no context
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
7 years
@Scaramucci I think I love you but what am I so afraid of I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for ~ Kierkegaard
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
7 years
@realDonaldTrump What we have here is a failure to covfefe
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
7 years
I just explained to my son the concept of multi-track recording in case u were wondering how fucking kick-ass I am as a parent
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
10 years
Play it, Sam. Play "Parents Just Don't Understand." #RuinAMovieQuote @midnight
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@toshibasoundbar Square Pegs. I couldn’t even bring myself to watch it regularly, it was too painful
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
10 years
"We don't need to correct people all the time. We can just let them live their lives." -- me, correcting my son just now
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
@ArteSpeck @beachhouse13 @jimbrock14 @OKWildlifeDept A clump of cells = a teenager apparently
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@davidmweissman My favorite thing is people on that thread trying to defend these wackos saying "Antifa gets away with anything" it's so so so strange
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
@ThatEricAlper Stairway to Heaven
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
I like Presidents who don’t get Covid
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
3 years
@sharktwuan @BudrykZack That came from when we tried to explain to one of the young writers who Raymond J Johnson was. That he was famous for that one bit. The writer was like, no way. We showed him old clips and he just could not process it. When the actual guy came to our table read, he killed!
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@davidmweissman Hopefully the crazy gun nut lady is among them
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
11 years
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
1 year
@julie_bush Right? Also if you’re doing a half hour comedy, maybe keep that to 40 minutes or less?
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
5 years
@AndyRichter I’m in the Maui airport and I just heard a mom tell her spouse that their kid was being a sasshole and it’s my new favorite word #realness
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
11 years
Alice's Adventures In The Wonderland Murders #RuinAChildrensBook @midnight
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
@KarinaLongworth I posit that Waterworld was one tone meeting away from being a good film
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
7 months
@ObiscureNick @alexanikolas__ @Only1Giovonnie @HEARNE3000 @leeboytv @TraceyBrownLIVE @JKilgen @AngeliqueBates I didn’t and I don’t want it because that would require me to interact with him which I never want to do again
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
10 years
I'm against war of all kinds except cupcake
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
7 months
@Mikaalala After Dan fired me, he called my agent and my manager and trashed me, and they both fired me. It wasn’t included in the doc because my then-manager, let’s call her Sara because that was her name, told the producers she never represented me
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@MarthaKelly3 Agree. I can't imagine how devastating that election loss was. That she took that and made herself even more powerful is such a testament to her character and talent
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
11 years
Inside Amy Schumer Is An Overlooked Surgical Instrument #SadTVShows @midnight
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
6 years
@PFTompkins I wrote that episode and you’re welcome
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
3 years
This extra has absolutely taken out the trash before
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
Is @socalgas gouging anyone else? This is absolutely insane
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
3 years
DEAR EVERYONE MY SON DID HIS FIRST AIR GUITAR TODAY, MORE LATER WHEN I CAN GET A HOLD OF MYSELF
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@KrangTNelson @MrJonCryer What @ikebarinholtz said about the video of the crazy gun nut lady applies here: “Yes Republicans are cruel and stupid but we should never forget that they are massive dorks who can tap into almost unimaginable levels of cringe”
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
6 years
Towering over me on Santa Monica Blvd today was none other than the marvelous @AlexBorstein !!! ⭐️👏🏆
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
8 years
Hello again ATAS acting branch! Might y'all also cast a vote for America's sweetheart @janetvarney ? #Emmys #ECBU
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@bader_diedrich This photo is wonderful, Diedrich!
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
@littleesther I would say 1996. Because the early ‘90s were very much the late ‘80s
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
9 years
The guy behind me at this airport restaurant is saying I love you in calls to enough people that I'm certain his plane will go down
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
8 years
Even if it takes a lifetime @GibbBarry
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
3 years
@kaylaalpert Amen to this. “Vindictive” doesn’t even begin to cover it. I’d be more specific with examples of his cruelty, but I’m still afraid of him, even though it’s been 20 years
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@realoverheardla I was driving down Ventura Blvd. listening to Robert Evans' "The Kid Stays in the Picture" audiobook and Warren Beatty drove past me in a convertible
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
12 years
I hate the hiccups like Taylor Swift hates admitting any responsibility in her failed relationships.
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
You have never seen 2 people congratulate themselves more than my husband and I after we eat leftovers
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
10 years
Hell yeah I turned down dessert at dinner in a superior tone and then came home and cut the basket off a chocolate bunny and ate it
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@bader_diedrich ⁩ Have you been low-key moonlighting as a novelty wig model?!
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
7 years
... like shamma lamma lamma, kandingy-kading a-donk
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
7 years
@realDonaldTrump Who is going to pay for all of these guns? Mexico?
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
3 years
@thekjohnston I want a t-shirt that says CLEAN UP YOUR MESS, KEVIN
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@PFTompkins 🎶You are so beautiful... to me 🎶 but to others your are 100% uggo
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
7 years
@GovMikeHuckabee @realDonaldTrump Just so I'm clear, you're a governor who referred to Americans concerned about the planet as peeing their pants? You are not a Christian
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
8 years
Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who keep The Cars from the Rock Hall of Fame & inattentive salesladies. Love!
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
8 years
Trying to teach my husband Microsoft Word is the first time in our marriage I've thought I didn't sign up for this
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
25+ years ago, I was a producer’s assistant. I’d often get him coffee at a Starbucks in Beverly Hills and this guy was the barista. My heart explodes seeing him have a big part in a big show. Don’t give up, everybody!
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
Tonight a 7th grade girl told me she liked my outfit and I’ve never felt so unstoppable
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@behindyourback As someone who was in my 20s when it came out and had to pull over in my car after the first time I heard "You Oughta Know" to gather myself I say PLEASE DO THIS
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
She had maybe three lines and made me love her so much and I was like… I know who this is #TheLastOfUsHBO
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
@SagED_UP The 100% correct answer
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
Every person who doubted @DavidAGoodman can eat shit
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
5 years
Someone *has* to have an all-male improv group called the Comic Sons
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@OreVoter @McKaylaRoseJ @realDonaldTrump Are you watching the news right now? Any channel will do, really
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
6 years
In the 8th grade, my TX History teacher Miss Dilworth started a cheer squad at my school and, seeing how much was picked on by the mean girls, she made me head cheerleader and told the other girls she and I would be choosing the squad together #TeacherApprecationDay
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@SethAbramson I'm not sure at this point the people who donated to him care about where their money went. Or they will choose not to believe this.
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
I just yelled “if it’s too loud, you’re too old!” while cranking up Night Fever by the Bee Gees
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
6 years
@trashboydx @PFTompkins It’s so nice to hear someone enjoy it. It’s the episode of TV I’ve written that I’m most proud of. Thank u for making my day! Sorry for the sincere tweet on PFT’s thread, it’s late ;)
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
@MonicaBeletsky Mad Men. The minute I saw it I was like, those titles are going to win an Emmy
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
7 years
Never realized how much playing Clue with my son was teaching him how to murder
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
My 11-year-old son singing "Eye of the Tiger" in the shower is the greatest thing I've ever heard in my whole life
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
6 years
Guys, I'm teaching my son to recognize the difference between Bon Scott and Brian Johnson, in case you were wondering how kick-ass I am as a parent, part 2
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
12 years
I just said "hello?" to some creaking noises on the stairway, I guess assuming a murderer would be all "hello there, it's me, a murderer."
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
@RedDogT3 So the teacher, in a panic, must remember or locate the combination(s), take out the gun, load it? It's loaded, ok, then try to remember training from months ago, take aim & shoot, again in a full panic? And the best case scenario is they kill a man? This is nuts
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
8 years
Happy Father's Day from our house to yours!
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
8 years
Congrats @janetvarney on your Emmy nomination for #ECBU !
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
9 years
This!!! Calloo callay for @guybranum ! http://t.co/8i0kuKFZUL
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
10 years
Everyone's Crazy But @janetvarney and #DiedrichBader coming soon everyone! 🚽🚽 oops I meant 💃💃 http://t.co/E0DbvRaZZ7
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
9 years
In this day and age, it's braver *not* to tell your story
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
6 years
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to legendary guitarist and Rock & Roll Hall of Famer @ElliotEastonEE ! Sincerely, your gooniest fan
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
5 years
Hey can y’all help me out, we’re going on a road trip and I need podcast recs. Topics I like: when the wife kills the husband; when the husband tries to kill the wife but is unsuccessful; when the wife robs a bank and pins it on the husband, then goes on to lead a full life, etc.
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
Is this a joke @socalgas ? @KarenBassLA @GavinNewsom are y’all aware of the gouging that’s going on here?! Before it just seemed outrageous, now it seems criminal
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
10 years
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
I'M DRINKING THE COOKING WINE. IT'S DOWN TO THAT
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
11 years
That moment of "OH MY LORD WHERE ARE MY GLASSES SWEET JESUS HELP ME I'M BLIND" followed by "oh, you're on my lap, welcome back good buddy"
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
7 years
For any of you who are monsters and think the angry kids are actors -- you can find very few good teen actors here in LA, trust me, zero exist in Florida
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
7 years
🎶 Covfefe... all my troubles seemed so far away... now it looks as though they're here to stay, oh I believe in #covfefe 🎶
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
10 years
Worth noting... it was more difficult than it looks http://t.co/sUNT1SJTYH
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
10 years
Commercial where Santa has diarrhea, I'm buying whatever you're selling
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@LizHackett I am so sorry for your loss. And ditto your sentiment times ten
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
6 years
@PFTompkins And I meant for that first part to sound ridiculous, I know u can’t tell that on Twitter. When I first heard your voice at the table read it filled me with such joy — u were perfect!
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
Honestly this Elisabeth Finch story is the only thing keeping me going rn
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
2 years
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
6 years
@Variety To rectify this @Variety , you should expose all writers rooms that are under-employing women #ShowUsYourRoom
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
4 years
@KansasGrant Artfully blended self-tanner into hairline
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
3 years
Remember that one Oprah episode where she had the lady on that said you should eat some sweets before dinner as a strategy to eat less at dinner? Man I miss that show
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
7 years
Just because someone has to go out ahead of u and tell photogs who u are doesn't mean u shouldn't march out in front of a group of photogs
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@ChristySMann
Christy Stratton
3 years
Thinking of the woman I wanted to be when I grew up, the ageless @MarthaQuinn ! Happy 40th @MTV (with @Pat_Francis for @RockSolidShow )
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