Christy Stratton
@ChristySMann
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Following
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187
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3,401
TV writer, Rock & Roll Jeopardy champion
Joined September 2012
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Watch Sant RampalJi YouTube
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#UFC307
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ドジャース
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
Dear people who engage with me on Twitter! You are few but you are mighty. I'm so sorry to come at you in this way, after all your loyalty, but I promise this thing will be VERY COOL
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@daybreaker
@KrangTNelson
This made me laugh until I cried. Bobson Dugnutt will not soon be forgotten
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@julie_bush
I think what people in this thread don’t realize is, although these people have been stars to us, when u are trying to sell a show to a producer or studio, these actors (pre-Succession) wouldn’t be considered as big enough to get an automatic sale from a buyer
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@ashleyn1cole
Elizabeth Warren never tells you she’s having surgery until after she’s fully recovered
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I just lied to a cheese monger and said I needed cheese for 4 when I only need cheese for 2. Another lie ALL CHEESE IS FOR ME
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Not my proudest moment as a parent, but def up there, is teaching my son to use the phrase “Know what I mean, Vern?” with no context
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@Scaramucci
I think I love you but what am I so afraid of I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for ~ Kierkegaard
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I just explained to my son the concept of multi-track recording in case u were wondering how fucking kick-ass I am as a parent
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@toshibasoundbar
Square Pegs. I couldn’t even bring myself to watch it regularly, it was too painful
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"We don't need to correct people all the time. We can just let them live their lives." -- me, correcting my son just now
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@davidmweissman
My favorite thing is people on that thread trying to defend these wackos saying "Antifa gets away with anything" it's so so so strange
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@sharktwuan
@BudrykZack
That came from when we tried to explain to one of the young writers who Raymond J Johnson was. That he was famous for that one bit. The writer was like, no way. We showed him old clips and he just could not process it.
When the actual guy came to our table read, he killed!
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@julie_bush
Right? Also if you’re doing a half hour comedy, maybe keep that to 40 minutes or less?
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1
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@AndyRichter
I’m in the Maui airport and I just heard a mom tell her spouse that their kid was being a sasshole and it’s my new favorite word
#realness
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@ObiscureNick
@alexanikolas__
@Only1Giovonnie
@HEARNE3000
@leeboytv
@TraceyBrownLIVE
@JKilgen
@AngeliqueBates
I didn’t and I don’t want it because that would require me to interact with him which I never want to do again
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4
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@Mikaalala
After Dan fired me, he called my agent and my manager and trashed me, and they both fired me. It wasn’t included in the doc because my then-manager, let’s call her Sara because that was her name, told the producers she never represented me
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@MarthaKelly3
Agree. I can't imagine how devastating that election loss was. That she took that and made herself even more powerful is such a testament to her character and talent
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DEAR EVERYONE MY SON DID HIS FIRST AIR GUITAR TODAY, MORE LATER WHEN I CAN GET A HOLD OF MYSELF
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@KrangTNelson
@MrJonCryer
What
@ikebarinholtz
said about the video of the crazy gun nut lady applies here: “Yes Republicans are cruel and stupid but we should never forget that they are massive dorks who can tap into almost unimaginable levels of cringe”
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Towering over me on Santa Monica Blvd today was none other than the marvelous
@AlexBorstein
!!! ⭐️👏🏆
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Hello again ATAS acting branch! Might y'all also cast a vote for America's sweetheart
@janetvarney
?
#Emmys
#ECBU
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The guy behind me at this airport restaurant is saying I love you in calls to enough people that I'm certain his plane will go down
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@kaylaalpert
Amen to this. “Vindictive” doesn’t even begin to cover it. I’d be more specific with examples of his cruelty, but I’m still afraid of him, even though it’s been 20 years
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@realoverheardla
I was driving down Ventura Blvd. listening to Robert Evans' "The Kid Stays in the Picture" audiobook and Warren Beatty drove past me in a convertible
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I hate the hiccups like Taylor Swift hates admitting any responsibility in her failed relationships.
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You have never seen 2 people congratulate themselves more than my husband and I after we eat leftovers
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Hell yeah I turned down dessert at dinner in a superior tone and then came home and cut the basket off a chocolate bunny and ate it
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@GovMikeHuckabee
@realDonaldTrump
Just so I'm clear, you're a governor who referred to Americans concerned about the planet as peeing their pants? You are not a Christian
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Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who keep The Cars from the Rock Hall of Fame & inattentive salesladies. Love!
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Trying to teach my husband Microsoft Word is the first time in our marriage I've thought I didn't sign up for this
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25+ years ago, I was a producer’s assistant. I’d often get him coffee at a Starbucks in Beverly Hills and this guy was the barista. My heart explodes seeing him have a big part in a big show. Don’t give up, everybody!
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Tonight a 7th grade girl told me she liked my outfit and I’ve never felt so unstoppable
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@behindyourback
As someone who was in my 20s when it came out and had to pull over in my car after the first time I heard "You Oughta Know" to gather myself I say PLEASE DO THIS
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She had maybe three lines and made me love her so much and I was like… I know who this is
#TheLastOfUsHBO
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Someone *has* to have an all-male improv group called the Comic Sons
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@OreVoter
@McKaylaRoseJ
@realDonaldTrump
Are you watching the news right now? Any channel will do, really
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In the 8th grade, my TX History teacher Miss Dilworth started a cheer squad at my school and, seeing how much was picked on by the mean girls, she made me head cheerleader and told the other girls she and I would be choosing the squad together
#TeacherApprecationDay
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@SethAbramson
I'm not sure at this point the people who donated to him care about where their money went. Or they will choose not to believe this.
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I just yelled “if it’s too loud, you’re too old!” while cranking up Night Fever by the Bee Gees
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@trashboydx
@PFTompkins
It’s so nice to hear someone enjoy it. It’s the episode of TV I’ve written that I’m most proud of. Thank u for making my day! Sorry for the sincere tweet on PFT’s thread, it’s late ;)
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@MonicaBeletsky
Mad Men. The minute I saw it I was like, those titles are going to win an Emmy
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Never realized how much playing Clue with my son was teaching him how to murder
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My 11-year-old son singing "Eye of the Tiger" in the shower is the greatest thing I've ever heard in my whole life
2
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Guys, I'm teaching my son to recognize the difference between Bon Scott and Brian Johnson, in case you were wondering how kick-ass I am as a parent, part 2
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I just said "hello?" to some creaking noises on the stairway, I guess assuming a murderer would be all "hello there, it's me, a murderer."
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@RedDogT3
So the teacher, in a panic, must remember or locate the combination(s), take out the gun, load it? It's loaded, ok, then try to remember training from months ago, take aim & shoot, again in a full panic? And the best case scenario is they kill a man? This is nuts
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Everyone's Crazy But
@janetvarney
and
#DiedrichBader
coming soon everyone! 🚽🚽 oops I meant 💃💃
http://t.co/E0DbvRaZZ7
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In this day and age, it's braver *not* to tell your story
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY to legendary guitarist and Rock & Roll Hall of Famer
@ElliotEastonEE
! Sincerely, your gooniest fan
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Hey can y’all help me out, we’re going on a road trip and I need podcast recs. Topics I like: when the wife kills the husband; when the husband tries to kill the wife but is unsuccessful; when the wife robs a bank and pins it on the husband, then goes on to lead a full life, etc.
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Is this a joke
@socalgas
?
@KarenBassLA
@GavinNewsom
are y’all aware of the gouging that’s going on here?! Before it just seemed outrageous, now it seems criminal
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That moment of "OH MY LORD WHERE ARE MY GLASSES SWEET JESUS HELP ME I'M BLIND" followed by "oh, you're on my lap, welcome back good buddy"
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For any of you who are monsters and think the angry kids are actors -- you can find very few good teen actors here in LA, trust me, zero exist in Florida
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🎶 Covfefe... all my troubles seemed so far away... now it looks as though they're here to stay, oh I believe in
#covfefe
🎶
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Commercial where Santa has diarrhea, I'm buying whatever you're selling
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@PFTompkins
And I meant for that first part to sound ridiculous, I know u can’t tell that on Twitter. When I first heard your voice at the table read it filled me with such joy — u were perfect!
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Honestly this Elisabeth Finch story is the only thing keeping me going rn
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@Variety
To rectify this
@Variety
, you should expose all writers rooms that are under-employing women
#ShowUsYourRoom
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Remember that one Oprah episode where she had the lady on that said you should eat some sweets before dinner as a strategy to eat less at dinner? Man I miss that show
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Just because someone has to go out ahead of u and tell photogs who u are doesn't mean u shouldn't march out in front of a group of photogs
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Thinking of the woman I wanted to be when I grew up, the ageless
@MarthaQuinn
! Happy 40th
@MTV
(with
@Pat_Francis
for
@RockSolidShow
)
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