afro luffy
@velvetistired
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5,248
Statuses
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Pinned Tweet
TWENTY NINE DAYS LATER
THANKS YOUUUUUUUU
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I love Qwetu women bro, they give it up like it's going out of stock
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Wireless buds 300, you gone hear Drake in kikuyu
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Oh look, the abusers don't want their victims being educated
Bishops Oppose Sex Education:
Catholic bishops oppose introduction of sex education
Kariuki: This will expose minors to use of contraceptives
Clergy wants reproductive health strand removed
#TheExplainer
@YvonneOkwara
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I think ku-rap but siko sure
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I have no political leanings in this race, but electing Ruto after 10 years of Jubilee is insane to me
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Bro wants another app to get rejected on
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Is that a motherfucking Kenyan bracelet???
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My future wife is probably repaying her Okoa Jahazi right now. Keep calm bae I'ma save you soon.
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NSG getting cancelled over some tissue is hilarious man😭😭
What do you expect from grown men that call themselves the Nipple Sucking Gang💀
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Lukaku I've been your hater for a minute
But if you can bag Meg and dunk on Man City in the span of two weeks
Megan Thee Stallion and footballer Romelu Lukaku spotted holding hands at Lautaro Martinez’s wedding.
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My sister moved to Qwetu after this tweet
I love Qwetu women bro, they give it up like it's going out of stock
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High school was insanity
I can't believe niggas used to combine Blueband, Milo, and Sugar to make some kienyo version of Nutella
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A woman with a fat ass expecting to experience true love is crazy
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Jesus after turning water into Konyagi
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Fun fact, the camera recognises that you want to take a picture of the moon and just superimposes a stock image of the moon on your viewfinder. This isn't the actual quality of the camera.
I don’t know who needs to take a 100x photo of the moon, but clearly the Galaxy S23 Ultra is the phone for you
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Wannabe blogger Njambi Fever shows a lack of creativity and originality as she is not only copying Edgar Obare’s blogging style but also his signature.
#njambifever
#bnn
#legram
BNN BASIC-
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People who want submissive women shock me. I want a woman I'm scared of talking back to. I wanna fidget and stutter every time she walks into a room.
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If you don't say ily on the first link were you even invested?
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Your homeboy that chases Konyagi
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This tweet is giving campus guys pressure and making campus girls pine for this treatment. Guys, you're 19-24, I promise you it's okay to not be able to afford to spend 200k on your girl rn. You need patience or corrupt parents lmaooo
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These are the typa women you don't go 50/50 with.
As for the rest of you whores, start seeking gainful employment, the new finance bill is on the way
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It sucks that I'll never experience the female orgasm, but I take comfort in the fact that neither will most women
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Everyone's like "The moon tonight 😍" but my girl's my moon every night
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First World salary with a Third World cost of living 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️
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Ion even dislike bro
He just needs to accept his fate as a bottom😭😭
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Okay in better news, I received my Offer Letter today and I officially start work in January 😌😌
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Samosa 1300 I better be eating an endangered species
Seriously I can’t believe I bought a latte at Kshs.850. I know I took myself there but this is unacceptable, this is robbery.
Tamarind Tree Hotel is the most expensive hotel in Nairobi.
What are your thoughts?
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This is who Kenyan men model themselves after. Ladies, I'm sorry but y'all are cooked😭😭😭😭😭😭
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It's called a boda
I need uber for students 😭😭 nalipa aje same na corporate people aje 😭😭.
@uber_kenya
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
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Your girl having the same size feet as you is crazy
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Bong, blowtorch light, and the stuffed baggie I got to break this shit in
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Some people just shouldn't be raising daughters, I'm sorry
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I hate niggas that are always tryna get into fights. Tulia bro
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Bro said Hoo Ha!
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When I was in form 2 a fat nigga tried to hang himself and he broke the branch
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I would hand this stick down to my eldest son
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This his first bad bitch fr
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We haven't forgotten your SA allegations lil buddy. Chekesha tu watu huku, we know what you are
Women are out here looking like this & my girlfriend really thinks I'll marry her😭
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I ain't know them BBLs came with a built in G string
And you still doubt that men are the prize, when women put themselves through such, just to get the attention & validation of men
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Nigga confessed he was sexually assaulted and all the qts are like "Fucking in West Mall is crazyyyy"
I swear we never gonna be free
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LGBTQ people be moving so fast in talking stages cause they know they're living on borrowed time
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Being a hater with your S.O. is one of life's greatest pleasures
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I have fallen in love with the most amazing person ever, and I can't believe my life, I am so fortunate😭
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Andrew Tate is like Jesus for people that don't get pussy and hate women
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When she calls me pretty
As a man what do you prefer being complimented with, pretty or handsome?
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Kenyans after having the most corrupt leaders for 60 years
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If any Qwetu women see this I got 6 inches and I don't mind hearing you complain about your dad leaving
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I thought this girl was lying so I said I call cap😭😭😭😭
Sometimes it's so funny when people don't get "Westmall Twitter" lingo😭😭😭😭
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Women are horrible people, I should get one
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Everyday niggas make their inability to control their urges a girl's problem
One of the reasons why i supported Kenyan Universities crackdown on dress code.
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Being left alone with my thoughts is more dangerous than any thug in town
I find people who wear headphones, airpods or earbuds on both ears while walking on the road or in CBD very brave
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Fried chicken
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Niggas can't keep a woman and blame it on Nairobi. Angalia kioo nani
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I thought the bedbugs were in Paris?
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I sentence you to dating a last born daughter from the leafy suburbs of nairobi
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Yes Branuel. You're the one person on earth whose mood gets lifted by a good morning text
Am i the only one who thinks goodmorning texts can really change your mood and actually make you feel important?
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If they post the same girl they gotta go stroke for stroke on her, I'll judge the technique
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Gents, this is the bare minimum. Don't praise a fish for swimming.
My partner will NEVER experience "kudinyiwa" under my leadership ! 🤝🏽
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You can always tell when people have a superiority complex. it adds nothing to his point, but lazima mjue he didn't do 8-4-4 like you commoners😂
8-4-4 clearly did you bad guys😂😂.
Wash wash is not money laundering.
Here is an simple example. A Royal family from Dubai get scammed by some big boys in Kilimani over a 100M Ksh juu wameuziwa fake gold badala the real one.
Clearly, that is wash wash but not ...
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Some of y'all looked better at the beginning of quarantine
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Her: Youre below my standards
Him: Hmm, interesting. Perhaps the video of me pissing in the middle of the road will change your mind
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They're saying that the dude who had 12 women didn't love any of them, otherwise he wouldn't put them through that.
I'm telling you a nigga that puts up with TWELVE women doesn't even love HIMSELF, let alone those girls😭😭😭
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Uhuru after hearing a knock on the State House front door
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People really forget that Shatta and Burna Boy had a rape-off live on the timeline
Because he is a rapist
He is jealous I did the same to his girl 😂😂😂cuz thats his job 😜
Raping jealousy 😂😂😂😂🤪🤪
@burnaboy
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He got the pics an hour and a half later
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King Solomon said "a baby's real mother wouldn't want them chopped in half" and niggas in the bible said that was the wisest shit they've ever heard
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Smocha seller Vs Beverleyne Kwamboka chips mwitu seller
Imagine kupigania mtu Ako na trolley ya smokie kwa sitting room ? Wah. Y’all fight for just anything
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My best friend of 15 year died today
I'll miss you Zeus ❤️
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Don't let fear stop you from loving loudly. What's right for you will do right by you
Loving out loud in Nairobi is an extreme sport.
Niggas might start laughing in your replies cause they know something you don't 😂😭
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If you were smart, you'd know that that tweet was because I have both a father and a stepfather, who are both in my life. But apparently I have more parents than you have brain cells, so I won't blame you
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Maybe all our finest minds really did go to First World countries, juu nyi watu ni wajinga
Uhuru was the coolest and most chilled president not even in Kenya but whole of Africa and we won't get another like him soon
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Kid is barely 5 years old are these insecure oldheads are already projecting their internalised homophobia towards him
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Hang out with like two tweeps and suddenly you'll know everyone that's fucking on this app
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When she says she has a boyfriend but it's a light skinned man
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