Puruu.B
@Branuellll
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5,488
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1,880
Media
830
Statuses
24,720
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FELIX
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アザラシ幼稚園
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STRAY KIDS DOMINATE LOLLA
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Arath
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ロッキン
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Aerosmith
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オアシス
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LINGORM OTW EP4
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#Shiorin3D
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Mahomes
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#キントレ
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オベロン
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淀川花火大会
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Jacob Fatu
• 10023 Tweets
Walking back to your seat like nothing happened after the teacher just caned you in front of the whole class.
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Oh, so the plan is to trick the enemy into thinking we’re not coming, then surprise them with a visit. Brilliant strategy, guys. Keep them on their toes!
#RutoMustGo
✊🏾
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Doing your homework while the teacher is collecting it was really an extreme sport.
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These biscuit companies don't even make noise, they just remove two pieces when the economy is bad.
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Juice WRLD : "If it wasn't for the pills I won't be here, but if I keep taking this pills I won't be here "
Me:
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Passing the phone to anyone dreaming of leaving Kenya. We shall escape inshallah
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This user still uses pinky promise as legitimate foundation of trust
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Me looking at my homie after telling me "na wewe hata mia hunanga" Infront of the shawrries.
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Kenyan barbers I challenge you, I'm really looking for one
I'm convinced that there's no barber in Kenya who can do the Jude Bellingham tapper fade
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Mpesa needs to be having specials like Send Ksh500 get ksh250 free
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When you accidentally make eye contact with the Smokie Pasua guy
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Is it me or does everyone have a carrier bag full of more carrier bags in there house
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As a former minute maid apple lover , I must say pulpy orange is way better
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I may not pay for your nails or get you flowers every now and then, but always count on me to buy you oreos and pay for your okoa whenever you need me to.
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Him
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Tuchape kazi sasa
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Parents will tell you to focus on your studies the whole year then make you attend a wedding a day before your exam.
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Am i the only one who thinks goodmorning texts can really change your mood and actually make you feel important?
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This Mamaz at the gym just gave me 2000 bob and told me "enda unyolewe" 😭
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I'm a sucker for good views.I'm talking sunsets, sunrises , mountains, lakes, just take me.
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No matter who you are, all of us are going to wash plates tomorrow.
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At grove when Texting comes on
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I'm convinced that there's no barber in Kenya who can do the Jude Bellingham tapper fade
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Me and my homie trying to learn aviation basics so we can be pilot and co-pilot if needed come Tuesday
#OccupyJKIA
#RutoMustGo
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Okay I'm not saying that you text me 24/7 but atleast update me on them little things going on
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"sikumbuki the last time I had an mpesa balance ya over 1000😭😭"
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The student in me left on March 16th 2020, I ain't Been the same ever since
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Your boyfriend is waiting for 1 Jan to post that "I last bathed in 2022" joke 😭.
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Me to me : And why can't I make any friends?
Me at social gatherings:
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Cheapest thing someone get you and it'll make your entire day ?
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If the first app you open is Twitter when you wake up, you need to be locked up 🫵🏾⛓️, as a matter of fact, institutionalized 💀
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Send that younger sibling of yours money today. Make them know the reason why you were born before them
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Need a food friend, every Saturday we try out a new restaurant.
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One thing about older women is that when they want you they'll get you.
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When you're sad always remember that you don't look like you did in primary
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I'm not even addicted to my phone, I'm just addicted to some people. If they lived next door, my ass would never be online
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Ilislap🙌🏾
Me and my man making pizza on a Sunday afternoon 🥹prayed for times like these 😭❤️
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Rich kids will look you in the eyes and ask you some outrageous shi like, "do you sky dive"
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If you judge friendships by calls and texts imma be the worst friend you'll ever have
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Now how are we supposed to start a family when you're not texting me back?
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But why do parents get mad when you sleep all day? I'm staying out of trouble, I'm not spending your money ... Like what's the issue here
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My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend's lame-ass jokes rn. Be patient honey, a true clown is on the way.
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When you go to stalk their page but you find that they've unfollowed you
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Yall have sex a over 6 times a day 😂😂😂whattt😭😭😭Mimi nashtuka 😂😂😂😂
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I'm the kind of friend that waits for you to tie your shoes while the rest of the group keeps on walking.
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I can't carry a box of pizza in public, shit so embarrassing to me.
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Huyu ni kama tuko interview na yeye, if I have no questions to ask, she's got nothing to say.
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Everyone buzzing about the new Future and Metro but real mfs vibing to the new Hozier
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If you meet me in person, you'll have to be patient enough to get through my shy/awkward phase before I become cool.
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Relationships don't affect your studies. If you're dumb, You're dumb mahn
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Just had a dream that my homie fucked the girl I was pursuing. Yani I'm bagging L's hadi in my sleep
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I used 'Tumekusudiwa tuwe pamoja' on this luhya Babe and the next thing I'm hearing from her is 'Nataka kuwa na wewe milele'
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"You can come if you want" has to be the most ridiculous invitation ever.
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