Baby Girl is tired…
@themouthyoufeed
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Warning to those with delicate sensibilities: my filter is weakest on Twitter. Not sorry for my views. I miss David Bowie. ✨ #fuckadoption
Nunya
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Pinned Tweet
Welp. I think I’m going to avoid this hellscape for a week or so and see how I feel. My mental health is not in a good place. ⤵️
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WTF is this new Christian obsession with other people’s marriages and divorces???
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@blkgirllostkeys
Yep. I’ve told people over and over not to wait for me, I’ll just show up when I show up. I still get heat for it. I know it appears rude at times, but it’s a literal deficit that I didn’t ask for.
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I’m disgusted by anyone who compares abortion to genocide, which is what I’ve been seeing from the ‘pro-life’ crowd on this garbage site. Genocide has a specific definition that has zero to do with terminating an unwanted or dangerous pregnancy.
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No one owes you THEIR baby.
Adoption ruined my life. Motherloss and genetic bewilderment are profoundly painful. There’s a reason so many adoptees are pro-choice.
#adoptionistrauma
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@lorrie_cartier
@AshleyGWinter
Adoption has been about commodification of babies for almost a century. 💔
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@LilaGraceRose
Bahahahaha NOPE! It doesn’t work that way. Sex is fun, healthy, stress-relieving, intimate, and a wonderful way to express love and care for your partner. Your backward religious rules do NOT apply to me.
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I was just thinking…with all the pro-adoption folks hollering about ‘biological parents abusing their kids’…they carry on like *all* kids are at risk with their bios. They forget that adoptees are abused by their adopters at alarming rates. 1/
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EVERY adoption begins with trauma.
Every.
single.
one.
Even newborns fresh out of the womb when separated from their mothers. Motherloss feels like death.
Don’t participate in family separation. It’s cruel.
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About to meet my dad for the first time. Nervous af but also excited. 😱😃
#adoptee
#adoption
#adopteetwitter
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Update: We talked for at least five hours. It was delightful, affirming, and answered so many of my questions. I finally know the story of how I came to be. No one should ever be deprived of information like that.
We're going to continue talking and figuring things out.
💕
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@FlorioGina
My older son is way better at cooking chicken than I am, and my younger son makes the BEST peanut butter cookies I’ve ever tasted. Both are self-taught, though they’ve watched their mama in the kitchen. I want THEM to be nurturing caregivers.
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This is exactly why so many adoptees suffer lifelong trauma. I was without a primary caregiver for my first few weeks of life. During the Baby Scoop Era, we (the relinquished) stopped crying due to learned helplessness, and many of us were given phenobarbital to keep us quiet.
The period from prenatal to three is the most uniquely consequential window in all of human development.
It is during this period that the fundamental architecture of the brain is “wired” in ways that will serve to support - or hinder - your child’s longterm success in school
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Adoption.
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Headed home from meeting dad. Mixed emotions. Glad I did it though.
#adoptee
#adoption
#adopteevoices
#adopteetwitter
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Guess what, bitches? I GOT MY ORIGINAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE TODAY.
#adoption
#adoptee
#adopteevoices
#adoptionsucks
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ARE
YOU
FUCKING
KIDDING
ME
@LilaGraceRose
Which is why it’s so expensive. If more women gave birth, even to babies they didn’t want to keep, adoption would be anywhere near as expensive.
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@FeministEmiIy
I’ve said this on another post with the same request: pro-life men should only have sex with pro-life women.
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My newly-found father (the one who gave me half my DNA) is really trying to be a good daddy to me, and so far, all things considered, it’s working. I’m going with it. He cares for me, and it shows. It’s still really, really hard to navigate.
#adoptionistrauma
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So you fuckers turned off commenting?
Of course you did.
God damn predators.
#adopteetwitter
#adopteevoices
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@DanWuori
This is exactly why so many adoptees suffer lifelong trauma. I was without a primary caregiver for my first few weeks of life. During the Baby Scoop Era, we the relinquished stopped crying due to learned helplessness, and many of us were given phenobarbital to keep us quiet.
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@lifetimeadopt
Instead of trying to take her baby so you can sell it to vultures, how about housing and feeding her??
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We all agree that the deliberate separation of twins/multiples for adoption is heinous, correct?
It is also heinous to deliberately separate someone from their siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, mother, and father.
#adopteetwitter
#adopteevoices
#twinstudies
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This deserves to be my pinned tweet. Much more comprehensive than the one I’m replacing with it: ‘Fourteen Propositions About Adoption’ by
@corsent
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@HeartlandRaised
@TondaSaidWhat
@notcapnamerica
Adoption is not an alternative to abortion. Adoption is not child-centered; it’s a $24 billion industry.
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Imagine a young adoptee, dependent on grownups for survival, not having any clue who their biological family is, telling their APs they hate being adopted.
What could possibly go wrong?
#adopteetwitter
#adopteevoices
#adoptee
#adoption
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Fuck you, Katy. Stop using adoptees as pawns in your stupid rants.
Fuck your homophobic bullshit and
#fuckadoption
.
#adoptionistrauma
These babies:
-will have identity struggles
-development is hindered by missing a female parent
-are at increased risk of abuse/neglect
-experienced a "primal wound" from mother loss
-will "hunger" for maternal love
An image of kids sacrifice their rights & wellbeing for adults:
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THIS.
Adoptees actually *are* victims, and those of us here speaking up about it do so to reduce harm to future generations. I am anti-adoption. External care is sometimes necessary, but legally estranging a neonate from their entire family, history, and identity is ABUSE.
If this were true, then where is all my lucre?
No, I don’t encourage a victimhood mentality, at all. I encourage what I have tried to practice in my own life, which is to reject the savior/gratitude narrative of adoption and to claim the right to my whole history.
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@Geordie_Bailey
@brihindthescene
You think this doesn’t happen? Millions of us are subject to closed adoptions.
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@cmclymer
Charlotte, you are good people but this is a very bad take. I’m an adoptee and this makes me feel like shit. I didn’t choose to be raised by anti-choicers but that’s what happened to me. So much trauma. Please encourage family preservation, not adoption.
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@russdaniels303
@pquaife
So? The availability and ease of getting hold of a gun is the problem.
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@DermotKearney3
@LeahNTorres
@mommie_teacher
But you really don’t. You don’t respect pregnant people who want to not be pregnant.
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@TXWomenRESIST
They might as well ask you if you should be able to sew hummingbird wings onto a rhino to see if it can fly.
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I think betrayal hits adoptees much harder than everyone else.
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We adoptees are excellent at masking. We had to be in order to survive.
@corsent
Hi! I'm the lovely adoptee you know. I know I look well adjusted, but I've been a broken soul for a long as I can remember. Your one liners like "love makes a family; you grew in our hearts; family isn't defined by genes; you were chosen" helped create the fractured me I am today
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@GregAbbott_TX
Using adoption to ‘build a family’ is NOT CHILD-CENTERED.
Motherloss and genetic bewilderment are profoundly traumatizing FOR THE CHILD.
Adoption ruined my life. It deprived me of knowing my REAL FAMILY. Texas defrauded me of MY IDENTITY.
Also, check your grammar.
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@WIRED
You mean the
#AdopteeRights
movement. This article is pathetic. It makes adoptees—a highly traumatized, marginalized demographic—look like lunatics. WE LOST EVERYTHING. The way Shapiro flippantly described the mother-infant bond was abjectly cruel. Apologize, and do better! 😡
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STOP THAT.
No one wants to be raised by those assholes. Do not use people like me, an actual adoptee, as pawns to make your point. They do not care about us.
Please ask every anti-abortion person you encounter how many children they’ve adopted. They don’t actually care about children. When they say none ask them how much they donate to orphanages/social services & to any children’s causes. It’s always nothing. They’re just hypocrites:
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Adoptees would like a word.
#adopteetwitter
#adopteevoices
@Emerald37227481
@MartinDougher12
@Karmatrumpsgod
@DoomScroling
@LolaMontez2
@LilaGraceRose
9 months is really the end of the world? You can sign your baby away as soon as the baby is born. You never have to see or have anything else to do with your child ever again.
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I don’t know how to ever fully heal from being deprived of my mother. I don’t think it’s possible. Not that I don’t experience great joy—I do. There’s a huge void though, and nothing can fill it. I long for her, intensely, every single day.
#adoptee
#adoption
#adoptionistrauma
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Thanks, adoption! 🫠🥴
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@lurioosi
@joules54228823
@kvanaren
If my mother had aborted, I’d have been none the wiser and she and I would have been spared immense trauma and suffering. Adoption is the worst thing that ever happened to me. I was commodified. Literally ORDERED and PURCHASED. If you went through an agency, you were too.
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The only reason I never told my adoptive mother, “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM!” is because she scared the shit out of me.
#adoptee
#adoption
#adoptionistrauma
#RSD
#abandonmentissues
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I decided to search just over four years ago. Guess where I found encouragement?
Not my APs, and definitely not
@Gladney_Center
nor my home state.
It was fellow adoptees.
I will forever be grateful for
#adopteetwitter
and
#adopteevoices
for launching me out of the fog. ❤️
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@_celia_bedelia_
Yup.
Wanting children and not wanting children are equally ‘selfish’. I’ll live my adult life as I please, tyvm. The last thing this world needs is more unwanted/neglected/abused/abandoned kids. I say this as a mother of two adult offspring whom I love more than life itself.
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Never, ever tell an adoptee that their mother loved them so much, she gave them up to someone else.
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I just found out that I had a name before I was adopted. And that my momma held me. And she said in a letter that she loved me. Why am I just now finding this out after FIVE FUCKING DECADES.
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I don’t believe full healing is possible for those who’ve suffered severance from family. I think we can build around our wounds and find pockets of joy, but that dark cloud over our heads is always there.
#adopteetwitter
#adopteevoices
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@joules54228823
@kvanaren
Adoptee here. This is painful to read. Consider that most of us were WANTED. Our mothers were given a choiceless choice we suffered more that you can fathom. For those whose mothers abandoned them, this is painful to read for them too.
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My nervous system is fucked.
Abortion would have been a mercy.
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I lost my mother at birth.
In SIX WORDS or fewer, write a story about the day everything went wrong.
#sixwordstory
#6words
#flashfiction
#writingprompt
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Same. 💖
I just want to wholeheartedly thank all the adoptees on Twitter that express their thoughts and feelings on this hellscape. It has helped me more than you will ever know.
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@secularprolife
Adoption is not an alternative to abortion. Adoption cannot happen without massive loss and profound trauma.
Abortion is not infanticide, nor is it child abuse.
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@JanMcCormac
@Joyjoysilva
@MikeRivero_FL
Yep. Baby Scoop Era. I was born toward the end of it. Lost over 50 years with my family, and lost my mother forever since she died before I found her. No one listens to adoptees though. 💔
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@sweepy84
@LilaGraceRose
Good luck with that. Ovulation can happen at any time without the ovulator knowing.
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This is FOUL.
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Both of my parents died before I found them. The grief from these losses is intense and overwhelming. I don’t want to do this any more.
#fuckadoption
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Guess who’s NOT on my 23&me family tree? The people who bought me so they could pretend to be my parents.
#adoptee
#adoption
#adoptionistrauma
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I changed my name earlier this year and finally got around to updating my drivers license. Got it in the mail today and OH MY…to see my new/authentic name for the first time on a government issued item made me cry happy tears.
#adopteetwitter
#adopteevoices
#adoptee
#adoption
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Adoptees are strangers’ babies and that’s why we’re at higher risk for all sorts of unsavory shit compared to kept babies. Jack stated it plainly. It’s how we’re wired.
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@_celia_bedelia_
As an adoptee, I second this. Adoption is the worst thing that ever happened to me. Abortion would have spared both my mother and me from profound trauma.
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It’s sad that there are pro choicers out there who see adoptees—who are natural pro choice allies—as disposable. They are as bad as the disgusting forced birthers who are in bed with the adoption industry.
Adoptees are not pro-life pawns.
As an advocate for reproductive rights, it's sad that I have to say: neither are we pro-choice pawns.
We are human beings. Not commodities, not second class citizens.
#FamilyPreservationFirst
#Adoption
#Adoptee
#AdoptionSUCKS
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False. Adoptees are bound to falsified birth certificates. State-sanctioned fraud. If I were to do the same, it would be a felony.
#adopteetwitter
#adopteevoices
#adoptee
#adoption
@rainmc
@themouthyoufeed
@_FineHamAbounds
Because most countries have cultural restrictions on abortions and birth control. The name change is for legal convenience and can be changed at any time later in life.
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I can attest to this. Worst thing that ever happened to me, and I’ve seen some things.
I believe that it is psychologically unhealthy to grow up as an adoptee, because adoption is explicitly designed to cut all relations, legal and practical, between an adoptee and their original family. It requires dissociation to survive within a system designed for dissociation.
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I had an adoption joke, but it was taken from me and I’ve been looking for it for fifty years.
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Parenthood is not an entitlement. Parenthood is a privilege and a responsibility like no other. Children don’t owe you for simply tending to their basic needs. In fact, they don’t owe you at all. rant over/
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A ‘good adoption experience’ does not mean
#adoption
is an overall social good. Adoption cannot happen without loss. It is rooted in shame and secrecy. Often it depends on outright lies. Modern adoption is rife with corruption and exists mainly for profit.
#adoptionistrauma
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I’m finally going to see my family this month! My genetic forebears. My biological kin. My flesh & blood relatives. A weird, calm excitement has washed over me. If I don’t return, I’ve died from terminal hugging. 🥰🥰🥰
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I would hate to have been adopted by a famous person. The trappings of that kind of wealth (materialism) and the lack of privacy would be even more oppressive.
People who aren’t adopted will not likely understand this.
#adopteetwitter
#adopteevoices
Walters kept the adoption a secret, however. She told NBC in 2002 that the decision was “in part because I really didn’t want the biological mother to know that Jackie had been adopted by us.”
#adoption
#adoptee
#adopteevoices
#adoptionsecrets
#adopted
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Oh ffs. Most adoptees I know didn’t search until they were middle aged. Having ‘no interest’ at 21 is self-preservation.
#adopteetwitter
#adopteevoices
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@themouthyoufeed
@JackieFrancesca
@mrs_alyse
The jury is still out on nature vs nurture.
Looks are solidified w genetics,
and diseases,
but aspects like intelligence, preferences, talents, personality?
Those are trained with exposure to environment and enrichment.
Babies are mostly blank slates.
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Oh ffs. There’s an adoptee support group arguing about adoptive mothers artificially inducing lactation to breastfeed their adopted babies. Gross. I would never get over it if I knew my adoptress even tried to do that with me! 🤮🤮🤮
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They forget that there is no welfare check once an adoption is finalized. They forget that the vast majority of new mothers are biologically in sync with their newborns. They forget that lack of resources breeds desperation, 2/
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LMAO
🫠🫠🫠
#adopteetwitter
#adopteevoices
@themouthyoufeed
@TruthAgape
Adoption is a beautiful thing. Women who make that choice should get automatic sainthood.
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I get so tired of non-adopted people assuming I had a 'terrible experience' because I loathe being adopted. There were good parts and bad parts. The difference is a fractured self-concept, lack of genetic reflection, no medical history, and feeling like I don't belong anywhere.
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@jlawyerlitigate
@venus_weeping
Why was I responsible to be an infertility bandaid for a desperate couple who were in line for the ‘next suitable available baby’???
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Just finished listening to ‘You Don’t Look Adopted’ by
@anneheffron
. It takes an outstanding
#adoptee
memoir to the next level, hearing it read by the author herself.
#adopteevoices
#adopteetwitter
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So. My search angel is about 95% sure she found my bio-dad. If she’s correct, then I’ll never get the chance to know him. Never getting to know your own mom & dad is a grief like no other.
#fuckadoption
#Gladneysucks
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Day One when I was separated from my mother.
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I second this. ❤️
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THIS THIS THIS
Behind every adoption 'success stroy' is a destroyed family. Let's quit measuring the quality of an inherently harmful system by the ones who were harmed least.
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@jacelala
I’ve had two babies (the loves of my life) and I’m staunchly in favor of abortion rights and access. So are they. They’re glad they were wanted and not forced into the world against my consent.
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“I know an adoptee…” 🙄
Same bullshit, different day.
#adopteetwitter
#adopteevoices
@StraightUpBetty
@IHateAdoption1
@themouthyoufeed
I can't agree that adoption is "all bad". I know quite a few adoptees IRL and they had good experiences.
The whole thread is personal, and that's not what I was interested in.
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#adoption
is manufactured parenting thru shame, coercion, and withholding of support & resources that would otherwise keep natural families intact. It’s state-sanctioned kidnapping via publicly-supported human trafficking, regardless of intent.
#adoptionistrauma
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