Pablo Alakobar
@the_popemichael
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I'm from Lagos, Nigeria. People Analyst, Power Platform Developer & Robotic Process Automation in HR.
On earth, as it is in heaven
Joined July 2017
Don't wanna be here?
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Pinned Tweet
Happy International Day of the Boy Child. ♂️ 🚸 🎈
A world where boys are taught the right education that equips them to be better men, fathers, husbands, and the best at whatever they choose to be, that benefits society positively.
#internationaldayoftheboychild
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Actually did have a 'partner' who spent 14 months in a psychiatric home when I was in UI.
I still stayed sha. She is a good person. Stayed until one day, she laughed one laugh like that with her eyeballs wide open. I knew it was coming soon..
Mo ya ferege.
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Phew, tired now..
But after going through the quotes and seeing about 25 different victims profiles, There's a pattern.
Only 5 of that 23 have more than 3k followers, and the median seems to be 1,560.
In real life, he fits the profile of one who targets women who stay alone.
This is Iriodalo Emmanuel Obhafuoso. He is a scammer. He enters girl's dms, makes them comfortable talking to him and then proceeds to fall deathly ill.
For me, he had a heart surgery. For Bolu, he had a spinal surgery.
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In a consulting job once, we found that they spent a very significant amount of money on car repairs and maintenance. It was an amount that could buy 17 Hiluxes at the end of the year.
Head of HR, Head of maintenance, thought that it was rising cost of goods and services..
My first salary at work was 12x the actual salary in my offer letter.
I think say dem don promote me to partner.
I called the lady I knew in HR and apparently it was an error.
I paid the entire thing back to the company's account and got my normal salary a few days after.
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..she was now in theatre arts. Didn't even help matter. Make e no be say her village people go add me to cast.
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In the end, the point of this is to let you know that if tech is replacing a lot of things, then psychos are also digitalizing.
Saying social media isn't the real you is false. It's an extension, and you drop data. If they can't get to you physically, they'll get you digitally.
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Fact.
..and we all know a big reason, amongst others, why men will never organize their own male only 'histitude'.
"Babes dey come"
"No"
"Wetin we come dey find go?"
But you are ruining the experience for them, who are capable of enjoying themselves without men.
Ridiculous.
Men no suppose chook mouth for that hertitude event tbh. It's their stuff, leave it for them.
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Their Salaries got tripled. They got a new staff engagement training around the company's values and how it will be enforced.
6 months later, the drivers started reporting those who were defaulting and want to put their jobs at risk. No hunger, no insentive to steal.
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Another observation. Most of them have pictures without men, and respond to posts about being single. Humor me, check it out.
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@diran_sokan
Guy, you Sabi me for University of Ibadan now. Na only one Pope. And you Sabi my escapades. When I say I saw and did things, no doubt.
If I write book of different babes wey I jam for UI, book go full. This particular one na theatre arts.
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She just casually said and I swear "I don't like people who are judgmental".. I gave a nod in agreement. Then minutes later she says "I still sleep with my ex who's now married. I tried to stop but I think I'm into married men, it just makes me feel great"
I judge am fassst.
You went on a first date with him / her and decided never to see them again.
What happened hun??
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I’m a strong Reekado fan and that particular year, no one else in the world deserved next rated. Only Lil Kesh did!
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..and stay in quieter neighborhoods and might be capable of stalking and harming them.
Just saying.. Data doesn't actually lie. There's a reason historical data is used for predictive analytics.
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They are not a total waste of time. You can be in a good one and graduate with a good grade, do small jobs, make friends and connection and actually learn one or two things.
It’s funny how we pay N14,000 as tuition and expect miracles from public schools.
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Bloomberg EMEA recruitment.
I put 'German A2' in my CV since I had been on Duolingo.
The lady recruiter started with rapid German. I froze. She now asked "Didn't you say you speak German?". I said it's Duolingo. She just sighed, continued in English.
I wanted to enter ground.
Candidates kill me man. Someone applied for an Hausa customer service role knowing FULLY WELL that they couldn’t speak Hausa. Interview started and they couldn’t say anything.
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Maybe I need to add that their leadership also got training. We trained them on how to have an open door policy at work so low level staff can feel comfortable talking about their needs.
This was a bespoke solution for them. But fairness, honesty, works everywhere.
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We didn't accuse them. We asked for their salary. We learnt that in a barter system, they earn an equivalent of just 15 loaves of bread, monthly.
So whilst we know that what's wrong is wrong, we could finalize that like you said, when you're hungry, integrity flies out the door
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You caught him, great. Now look for the native doctor that requested for human parts too and hang them both. Because how do you expect someone to get those things if the idea isn't to murder? To the ropes, both of them!!
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We set out to work, and long story short is that the reason they paid much more was that the drivers were in partnership with their Auto mechanics to inflate prices of repairs. It wasn't even much money. But the amount of time cars went faulty was not normal.
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In Yorubaland, when people want to call you from afar, immediately 'Hey' becomes:
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The fact that this tweet seemed to praise Buhari is IQ lowering.
Tolu did you hear the question asked? Tolu have you been told 2 define ‘breakfast’ and you start talking about different classes of food without getting a ‘will you sit down’ from your teacher?
This is embarrassing
VIDEO: Yesterday in New York, President
@MBuhari
addressed the
@UN
Climate Action Summit 2019, highlighting
@NigeriaGov
’s efforts to address climate change.
#ClimateActionSummit
#UNGA
#PMBAtUNGA
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Have you ever misplaced your keys and you desperately wish it wasn't on silent and that you can flash it? 😫
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@jidkod
Oh. The values class was built around Integrity and Honesty. Started with we speaking to the leaders about same values, and then speaking to drivers about it too.
We didn't threaten, just showered them the impact of a lack of these values on the company, and their jobs also.
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Done.
Bagged:
Agile Metrics and Dashboard Automation for Projects.
Certified Human Resource Management Professional - Analytics.
ESG, Carbon Accounting and Sustainability Reporting by Microsoft & Inco.
MBA, Quantic School of Business and Technology.
Price's Up! I'm back!
Disappearing till I complete my 3 professional certifications wey I don dey air since. Until then, no Twitter.
I see you when I see you.
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Today, is the beginning of a new phase of my life.
- New role as a Team Lead.
- Renewed dedication to God. This is going to be hard seeing that I drifted too far. But baby steps, right?
Let's get it!
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@bamibowale
@AbdulMahmud01
Disgrace because Bamibowale of Ikorodu descent said so? Lmao. A butterfly thinks itself a bird.
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@theglobalsam
@diran_sokan
See. It's going to be a long one. Because I'm seeing folks talk about her mental health. Nobody's seeing that this is funny now because I've made humour out of the situation. 14 months of support, do they think I didn't have my own mental health to worry about? See, I ran. Fast.
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@cchukudebelu
I’m glad this tweet didn’t even talk about Japa. It’s clearly just a case of other issues. I also do not think it’s a GEN Z problem. Living in Lagos is scary and any HR that isn’t considering flexible work conditions isn’t ready to attract talents. Problem is they don’t want to..
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@Ayo_ismyname
Data validation sometimes, leaves room for -/+ .05 error. Issss allowed. Hehe 😊
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Today in an interview I was asked who my role model is and I should explain why. I mentioned
@OgbeniDipo
and explained why.
Well, I’m glad I did.
Happy birthday to my Role Model. Hopefully, he’d become a mentor to me. Long life sir. 💜
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@OgbeniDipo
@MBuhari
Engage? Lol. It’s not wedding na. Please let’s just inshallah our way to 2023 abeg
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@KakashiAyoola
@LevelBouy
@Ziyechman
@FabrizioRomano
That’s why his head is about to fall off his Profile picture.
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@jidkod
Oh. Well. We improved the process of calling in a faulty car, and how payment is made.
However we tracked progress by how much was spent on repairs and how many cars were reported as faulty during a 6month period. It reduced by 53.4% and 71% respectively.
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@i_am_casa_
@tosinolaseinde
That single error didn't hinder me from moving even up to the final stage. I ticked other boxes, so they weren't emotional with letting me progress.
I think at the end, it was ranking on a cumulative score and I came short. But the point is, I got a fair shot, till the end.
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How law students think they look like after dressing up for class vs how they really look like!
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@tosinolaseinde
Lmao. The job? No. But I eventually got to the final stage. Which tbh gave me a different perspective of how Oyinbo people recruit.
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@phoenixozed
@nwaoma007
This is golden. I served in Kaduna for a year and stayed back a bit. My family was in Ibadan. Not seeing them for that period gave me panic attacks, sleepless nights, and anxiety! It was even during a global pandemic. This was even in Nigeria. Imagine if I’d left the country?
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@i_am_casa_
@tosinolaseinde
They'll rather recruit for culture and philosophical fit than for skills and knowledge.
I mean it's important, but they want a proper fit into their culture than anything else. Because they know they'll still train you in their ways, but do you have the right attitude to learn?
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@cchukudebelu
..do the work that comes with managing remote or hybrid teams. It takes a lot of restructuring policies to track productivity, innovation, and maintain culture. It’s doable, but HR or CEOs do not see it as a priority! So ‘if they can’t come to office, they are not serious’ trends
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ME: recharges with N100 airtime.
MTN: dear customer, your activation to MTN callertunez has been automatically renewed.....
ME:
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@Austinfayomi
@EldatFantasma
Shut up. Like you didn’t see major news outlets talk about it last year.
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#CareerSuccessStories
we’re here and it’s beautiful so far.
@FrankNwekeII
and
@OgbeniDipo
are making this worthwhile. Awoyemi just blew my mind. I’m still hyped!
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Hustle first before looking for a woman. Even in the Bible, Job comes before Romans
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Lord knows Once I leave this country, the only thing I'd miss is the road back! 😩😩😩
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A friend of mine visited his uncle on the Island. One of the big estates. He just finished his Nysc and decided to just chill out. Then a neighbor put out an advert for a lesson teacher for their kids. Andrew applied, qualified and invited for interview.
They asked Andrew..
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@theglobalsam
@diran_sokan
Imagine walking to Queen's hall around 11pm because your babe just wan laugh because 'she just dey sad'. And that period you Sabi say you no too funny, but you gats crack her up?
See, make we just leave matter.
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@oadefisayo
So, I'm looking at working on something like this that will finally prove that there social media is an extension of you, except you want to keep fooling yourself. But I can't except I back it up with data. Which I will.
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One day, you people will learn that "what does she bring to the table?" in a financial context, is the most stupid question you will ever ask.
Just pray for a good, loyal, and loving partner. As you earn, e go just dey do you to finish all on her, naturally.
THANK YOU, A REAL MAN HAS FINALLY ANSWERED CORRECTLY THIS ANNOYING “what do you get in return” QUESTION 👏🏾
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I was at this last year and I don’t think anyone that can afford this should miss it. Really.
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My late uncle was working with UBA or whatever it was called in 1983 as a sales guy and a salary of N60.
In less than 18 months, he bought plots of land in Ijokodo and Apata before leaving for the US.
It's 2024, and 60% of your 300k must go with only food. Richer ko, Jack ni.
“We are richer than our parents but are we happier than them?”
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@yojora
The day they paid us N19,800 in camp. This deputy hostel governor held the money and said “this na the first 20k wey I go say be my own in my entire life”.
I was more scared when I found out he was 24.
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@Stanleyndu__
@oreoluwa_sugar
@Rihanatsona
Same. Well come back to this. This is how they cause inflation. Unnecessary noise, then unnecessary expectations, then needless demand, and then boom, price goes up. But it's clout>> market implications.
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One day, Nigerians will learn that we are 80m and they are less than 5000. But we're not ready yet.
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“I made it past 25, and there I was. A little nappy headed nigga with the world behind him”
Happy birthday to Me! 🎂🎉🎈
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For the first time, Danny Walter is my man.
He doesn’t know me, but my man, this one sweet my stomach.
Apparently they’ve paid some of them to start talking Okoto here
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Hello Twitter, I need your help in finding Internship, preferably remote. I am a HR analyst with skills in tools like PowerBi, Excel, Basic Tableau, Access and STATA. I really want to get to apply this in real office settings and even work for free. Kindly RT if you see this!
Please y’all would help me with something soon. Please I beg 🙏🏾🙏🏾
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@ChifeDr
"Honey came in and they caught me red handed, shipping all the drugs next door"
- Remix.
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@richtosho
@_harramm
Exactly. It made sense until the last statement. Why are you running from accountability?
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I had to take notes because this is the most insightful conversation about business in Africa in recent times.
I've always said industrializing Africa is what we need. We missed it somewhere, we need to go back to it. That's the only way we can get our middle class back!
I listened to everything attentively. Alhaji Dangote , an Enigma
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@Letter_to_Jack
“I think you could wear this other cloth that I like. This is fine, but that one makes you elegant. my head use to burst when you wear it.. and this weight that you’re talking of, have you not seen me recently? Make we try gym o. Because your good food has caused problem now” 🙂
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Remember when I came on here to ask that you retweet my plea for a role in analytics? Well, I asked for internship but I got to train Unity Bank under a leading data science brand in Africa. This is the start!
Thank you for the retweets. God bless the fingers that retweeted!
To gain insights into what your competitors in business are doing, you need "Business Intelligence".
We are currently doing a three-day virtual training for Unity Bank on Business Intelligence using Power BI with
@the_popemichael
#BusinessIntelligence
#DLA
#DataLeadAfrica
#data
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@pyjama_ceo
My dad trained us through school with a pension of 50k. Now it's around 80k, and we know how useless that amount is now.
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@imoteda
Yeah. This looks like a personal issue sha. Which is extreme.
But doesn't remove the fact that her hypocrisy should be called out. I've seen her in three different locations and how she behaved to waiters. Not good. Not good, and can be better tbh. Maybe that's why I'm angry.
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With the look on Brother Donald's face, I think we are getting colonized again.
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Please allow me famz too Abeg.
Happy Fathers Day to the best dad in the world. Thank you for always being there for me and showing me the true meaning of leadership, love and the value of wisdom; for being such an inspiration and a shining example❤️
#FathersDay
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“Your protest does not have a face, how do you want the government to understand what you are fighting for?”
We have a face! We have faces. These and more are our faces. More faces are on the road! SARS must end!! Just
#EndSarsNow
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@Wizarab10
@Tobybabyy
@UnkleAyo
@oloye__
@DavidHundeyin
@Harri_Obi
Earlie this year not last year. Lol. Time flies fast, I understand 😅
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- Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen in his book titled Peace of Soul: Timeless Wisdom on Finding Serenity and Joy.
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@OtunbaToba
Told my guy about a girl who loves me and really wants to be with me, but I struggle to like her back. I want to, but it doesn’t just happen. I see her solely as a friend. He said “na that one make pass. Marry am, keep am for house. She go loyal. Dey run others’. So..
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I always wondered about the kind of person Sergio Ramos really is whenever I see the type of players he captained.
That Madrid team had 5-6 national team captains, yet they listened to him. He was a captain of captains.
I wonder how beastly he must have been.
"Reus deserves to have a Champions League “
Real Madrid when "Buffon deserved to have a Champions League"
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These days, no one is more accurate with time than a fasting Muslim.
ME: what's the time now?
HABEEB: E be like say na 3:13 like 2 minutes ago.
TIME:
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Okay I get the humor.
But I think women with thick voices are the sexiest and know how to handle their men.
Back in the days, one spanked my ass and said “like it baby?”
I almost said “yes daddy”
😂😂
I can’t imagine marrying a woman with a deep voice.
Imagine your wife shouting your kids’ name from the room and they reply “Sir!” 😭
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If you don't learn to listen to criticism and feedback from people perceived to be lower than you, you will not grow.
Unpopular opinion: Criticism should only come from ppl better than you
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Been struggling with getting my head straight and being overly overwhelmed...
Today, Took some pictures and I realised there’s so much to be thankful for..
so here, share in the thanksgiving 🙏🏾
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I understand man. 😔
You are right.
The first step I had to take, was forgiving my abusers, understanding how it started, and eventually reading Charles Duhigg's The Power of Habit and how to replace habits, really helped create alt. behaviors. The Bible also helped a lot.
Hey,
My wife sent this post to me, she encouraged me to share my struggles, how i overcame them & my own unique way of keeping it at bay. Hope you get to see this & i pray this helps you.
A long thread 🧵 but a worthy read.
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They think they're slick. They put "yahoo boyfriend" so as to spread the narrative that the victim is also to be blamed for dating a yahoo boy.
You're disgusting!
#JusticeForJustina
: Lady who was reportedly k
#lled
and sla¥ght£red by her yahoo boyfriend, d
#ed
14 days after her birthday in Rivers State
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