TotientQuotient Profile
TotientQuotient

@t0tientqu0tient

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Survived tripos somehow. All effort, no skill. Still trying to become a mathematician. Probably suffering from some form of the Algernon-Gordon effect.

a real vector space element
Joined July 2023
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
Yeah it's kinda hard to do that when the exam questions are of this difficulty
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@hashjenni
Jenni
2 months
You can read the night before your exam and pass
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
For those who love algebraic graph theory ✍️
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@PhysInHistory
Physics In History
3 months
For those who love calculus ✍️
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
Markov chains play a central role in probability theory, and a particular area of interest to mathematicians is that of random walks on groups. Here's an interesting example where we can easily find the invariant distribution by associating the MC with a sequence of iidRVs. 1/2
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 month
@PatrickKidger They really said
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
(Since this post is blowing up and I didn't make it obvious in the original post, these aren't real exam questions, they're made up for memeing purposes)
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
7 days
Hey darling, are you the kernel of a ring homomorphism? Cuz damn, you're ideal.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 year
@Anthony_Bonato A mathematician is someone who says "a set of people" instead of "a group of people" irl unless they can prove that there exists a well-defined binary operation on the set of people in question satisfying closure, associativity and existence of identity & inverse.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
6 months
@Anthony_Bonato proof by wicked sorcery >>
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
@Mathinity_ X = set of unordered pairs of distinct subsets of {1,2,...,n} of size 2 Y = set of subsets of {1,2,...,n+1} of size 4 Define f: X → Y {x₁, x₂} ↦ x₁ ∪ x₂ if |x₁ ∪ x₂| = 4 x₁ ∪ x₂ ∪ {n+1} if |x₁ ∪ x₂| = 3 Then f is 3-to-1.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
@mathladyhazel (ℤ/7ℤ)ˣ acts regularly on the set of cyclic permutations of 142857.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
that's a pretty S∪S way to say that the set S generates the group G
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
@MathMatize Degree 6 is different
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
26 days
Mathematicians are the type of people who would unironically put parentheses in sentences for the purpose of disambiguating the parsing possibilities, regardless of how silly the resulting sentence looks.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
@Anthony_Bonato Applied mathematicians be like: let's allow the definition of "linear combination" to include combinations of infinitely many vectors, so that the dimension is just \mathbb{N}
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
How I published 0 single-author papers during my 3 year undergrad: - Discovered a possibly novel result, LaTeXed it into a research article, complete w/ abstract & references - Tried submitting to arXiv, got rejected - Haven't found someone who could help me submit to a journal
@ashleyruba_phd
Ashley Ruba, PhD
4 months
How I published 13 first-author papers during my 2.5 year post-doc: - All the data were already collected - 5 papers were literature reviews - I read incredibly fast - I write even faster
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
6 months
@Anthony_Bonato Not a ⟴ but close enough
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
"Define prime number"
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
@anaghadoesmath Thankfully these aren't real exam questions lol, I made them up for the memes. But the real deal is frankly not that far off. And yes, every course appears on every paper in part II so you can't just revise 1 course for each paper, you gotta revise everything at once.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 year
@MathMatize Same energy as "trivial", "elementary", "obviously", "clearly", "follows directly from definition", "one can check that" & the like. See also: "by some wicked sorcery" - taken from a real piece of homework I submitted
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
@Anthony_Bonato The question must've been: Find the Fourier series solution to the heat equation uₜ(x,t)=13uₓₓ(x,t) on a rod of length π whose ends have fixed temperature zero, i.e. boundary conditions u(0,t)=u(π,t)=0 and a triangle-wave shaped initial condition, i.e. u(x,0)=|x-(π/2)|-(π/2).
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
4 months
Late update, but I passed by the slightest of margins. Not a result I'm particularly proud of, but it's the culmination of 2 decades of hard work. On the bright side, things could've gone so much worse - had I been slightly unluckier, I would've left this place without a degree.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
4 months
Results coming out tomorrow. I hope I can at least graduate from this place. Would really suck if 3 years of hard work amounted to nothing.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
#Math Recently I've been thinking about functions that commute under composition with their derivative, i.e. solutions to the ODE (†): y'(y(x))=y(y'(x)). Obviously, if y'=y then LHS=y(y(x))=RHS, so (†) trivially holds. Thus y(x)=Beˣ, B constant, is a family of solutions. (1/)
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 year
@LongFormMath And that's how mathematicians end up resorting to proofs by intimidation and proofs by cumbersome notation.
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TotientQuotient
3 months
@yiannis_entropy And most algebraists view category theorists the same way said mathematicians view algebraists.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
14 days
Wrote a rant about identifying levels of nestedness in #Math and how this important skill lacks attention in its isolated form from a pedagogical standpoint. If you relate to it and/or agree with the existence and extent of this issue, please retweet and share to raise awareness.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
6 months
@TonyTheLion2500 "What is a tensor?" "An object that transforms like a tensor." Yeah, I understand that feeling.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
6 months
@miniapeur Physicists strike me as the type of people that would allow infinite linear combinations. I wouldn't be surprised if they say that <(1,0,0,0,...),(0,1,0,0,...),(0,0,1,0,...),...> is a basis for \mathbb{R}^\mathbb{N}. But hey, I know nothing about physics, so who am I to judge 🤷‍♂️
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
17 days
Let S be a vector subspace of ℝⁿ of dimension d. Then ℝⁿ\S is: • disconnected if d=n-1; • path connected but not simply connected if d=n-2; • simply connected if d=n-3. For fixed k≥4, is there a generalisation of "simply connectedness" that holds iff d≤n-k? #Math
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
@WaltonStevenj Worst part is that I've seen this 4 years ago when I was preparing for my undergrad admissions interview 💀 Having tried, they're mostly doable (way easier than IMO) w/ pen & paper, but it's designed to be done without, in a high-pressure interview in which I'd probably crumble.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
@miniapeur me when I ask people to explain elementary results about groups/rings/fields/modules/vector spaces and they're like "follows from the yoneda lemma", "sequence is exact", "trivial because this diagram commutes", "[...] is contravariant" did they seriously think this would help lol
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
8 months
@yemeen Even cooler that the function p ↦ πₚ has symmetry under p ↦ p* = 1/(1-1/p). It might seem like a trivial observation that if p and p* satisfy 1/p + 1/p* = 1, then the unit circles in the two norms produce the same geometric shape when graphed...
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
#SoMEpi entry progress update: learned how to (properly) use updaters in #Manim and produced this as a result.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
Forget graduate math, forget learning "by themselves". I struggled learning *under*graduate mathematics even though I had access to some of the best teachers in the world.
@TonyTheLion2500
Absolutely Chaotic Math Lion Arc 🤯😱👀
3 months
Do people actually learn graduate math successfully by themselves? I honestly feel like I'm just a hopeless cause. 😭🫠I really struggle with a lot of things about math. I tend to just change subject when I'm stuck somewhere, which has ended me here. 😭💀💀😳😳
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
#Math #academia : How do you folks navigate the unknown? How do you manage to constantly pump out lemmas, theorems and papers without knowing in the first place whether the problem at hand is even solvable? Surely I can't be the only one that always gets stuck and never unstuck?
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 year
@howie_hua Z/2Z?! How did you get in here?!
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TotientQuotient
23 days
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@leverus
Lev Grossman
24 days
My younger son (12) isn't much of a reader. He craves Roblox, Youtube Shorts, Fortnite, anything but a book. So I gave him the most brutally addictive novel I could think of, ENDER'S GAME ... and it's working. I think. But I can't think what to give him next. Suggestions?
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
Worst part is when they leave the proof of said theorem as an exercise. How do they expect us to reinvent the wheel (something that took dozens of mathematicians centuries of struggles to accomplish in the first place) by ourselves within a few hours?
@MathMatize
MathMatize Memes
3 months
And we learn it in one semester
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 month
Uni made me lose touch with reality. Whenever I struggled academically & reached out to my peers, their only advice was to get a neurodivergence diagnosis (I'm neurotypical). When I was struggling w/ sleep, I've been told to (ab)use drugs. Luckily I didn't do any of that, but...
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
@angryfermion They simply didn't leave a single trace
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
4 months
I'm in London for the next few days. Any mathematicians from ICL/UCL/KCL willing to meet up with an aspiring postgrad student? (About myself: I just graduated from Cambridge with a maths BA. Interests include graph theory, Markov chains, groups, number theory, cryptography etc)
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TotientQuotient
2 months
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@NoContextHumans
Out of Context Human Race
2 months
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
You know you've gone too far down the abstract algebra rabbit hole when your first reaction to the word "factorisation" is to assume that it refers to ideals in a ring. Now I can't get this version of the Chinese remainder theorem out of my head and idk if that's a good thing.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
@MathMatize See also:
@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
For those who love algebraic graph theory ✍️
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TotientQuotient
3 months
@anishgiri the not-so-subtle art of not giving a f*ck
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 year
@MathMatize However, when the individual sums in the sum fail to converge absolutely, the sum of the sum need not equal the sum of the sum
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
18 days
Are people even seeing my tweets now? Has the algorithm gotten this bad?
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TotientQuotient
12 days
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TotientQuotient
2 months
@scottba17371714 Normally I'd agree, but in this case, try the question first. You'd be surprised when none of the methods you've learned (separation of variables, integrating factor, exact ODE etc) seem to work. And that's for a good reason - I made the question nasty on purpose :)
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 year
@littmath algebraists when the field has characteristic 2:
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
4 months
I bombed all my exams. 2 decades of hard work down the drain. My dream of going into academia shattered. Yes, I can sugarcoat my failure story as much as I want, but at the end of the day there's still some extent to which my lack of ability and potential is being reflected.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 year
@howie_hua By this logic, if a reply to a reply to a reply to a comment equals the original comment, then reply chains of all periods exist by Sharkovsky's theorem.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
7 days
@AlgebraFact This works for any p which is 1 or 5 modulo 6. Doesn't have to be prime.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
My problem isn't not understanding maths; it's the *rate* at which I understand new pieces of maths. What's the point being a tortoise who'll always reach the finish line when that isn't even the win condition? It's peak speed that matters, and the hares dominate in that regard.
@davidbessis
David Bessis
2 months
Why you don't understand math — and what you can do about it. ⤵️
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
4 months
21 🙂
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
After 4 years of learning group theory, I think I finally achieved the level of competence required to tackle my 1st year exams. Pretty demoralising that it took me 4 years to achieve what's expected from me in 4 months. Such is the struggle of a tortoise in a hare vs hare race.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
Now that I have more followers, here's a repost of a meme I posted last year (This was a real exam question for 2nd year undergrads, just without the funny emojis)
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
@mattecapu My answer will be & has always been "I seriously don't care", because this isn't something that makes or breaks mathematics, unlike the axiom of choice discourse, in which case my answer would be "I *should* care, but I don't know enough maths yet to make a stance".
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
In maths, it's 35 hours reading 6 papers. The main difficulty in reading papers in other fields is their verbosity (so skimming through them helps), but in maths, the problem is the exact opposite: brevity at the expense of confusing notation and hypercompression of ideas.
@ScholarshipfPhd
Scholarship for PhD
3 months
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
As someone who studied mathematics at the undergraduate level, I know full well the feeling that the top x% mathematician feels a hundred times better at maths than the top 10x% for every real number x in (0,10].
@birdrightsnba
David Brandon
2 months
One of my most closely-held beliefs is that the average person has no idea how much better a professional athlete is than they are
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
Very nice illustrations of Cayley digraphs.
@prathyvsh
Prathyush
2 months
There is a marvellous group theory book on Quora from Roman Andronov, copiously illustrated, giving geometric intuition into what these abstract group theoretic objects track:
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
And here I am, reading literally every paper that catches my attention, regardless of whether or not I understand the abstract. I do this purely out of passion and curiosity, as well as the desire to find out what research-level mathematicians do on a daily basis.
@yiannis_entropy
Ioannis Kontoyiannis
2 months
Advice I heard an old Fields medalist give to young mathematicians 25 years ago: "If there is even one word in the abstract you don't understand, don't read the paper"
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 month
Had the opposite experience at Cambridge. Been self-studying uni-lvl maths yrs in advance, yet struggled cuz had to compete w/ ppl who knew little b4hand but had insanely high d(knowledge)/dt. Idk how but Cambridge is rly good at spotting such students in their admissions process
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@xgigglypuff
giggly ♡
1 month
This was a huge realization for me in STEM classes at Harvard. Being from a rural area that didn’t offer the classes that other students had, I was taking computer science courses alongside people who had been programming since they were 10 years old. I was taking math courses
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
6 months
I had a dream where this question came up in my 1st year undergraduate maths exam. Thankfully it was just a dream.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
5 months
@miniapeur I mean, if the Frobenius map x ↦ x^p is an endomorphism of a field with characteristic p, then surely we could just take p=1/2 and make it work... right? After all, we just need to find a field with half an element and prove that 1/2 is a prime, it can't be that difficult! /s
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
American mathematics is wild. You have people saying stuff like "f is one-to-one and onto" instead of "f is bijective". Also, wtf is a "trapezoid"? Why is "factor" also a verb? My British-pilled brain cannot comprehend.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
4 months
what in the quasipseudosesquilinear fuck is this
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
Before my undergrad: I don't know. After my undergrad: I don't know and I probably never will.
@hapyresearchers
Happy Researchers
2 months
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
I've had both the pleasure and the misfortune of experiencing the good, the bad and the ugly of the mathematicians. Yes, some are very nice & open-minded, but there's also a lot of snarky, elitist assholes who spend all day complaining that people are too stupid to do maths.
@roydanroy
Dan Roy
2 months
@_onionesque My experience is mathematicians are generally very open minded. OR maybe that's simply because I tend to interact with those who have bothered to interact outside their field!
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
Algebraic graph theory is one of my biggest interests as of late, but why do we study it? Here's 1 reason: a graph G's adjacency matrix defines a quadratic form whose symmetry group is precisely Aut(G). So we can reduce a problem about graphs to one of pure algebra & vice versa.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
Finally learned enough #manim to start creating stuff. Excited for #SoMEpi . (There's just one small problem: the directed edges e→r→r²→e don't form a perfect equilateral triangle, while the 3 edges that come out of rt and r²t aren't evenly spaced... Any ideas how to fix?)
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
5 months
My exams start in 4 days. 2 decades of work (yes, been doing maths workbooks since age 1) comes down to this. My uni never gives 2nd chances & I need a miracle to even pass. I want to pass and ideally do well because I want to be a research mathematician. Wish me luck, X/Twitter.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
- Undergrads are meant to do exams, not research - I was terrible at exams despite my best efforts, so my uni considered me a lost cause - Thus no one at my uni was keen to help me w/ said paper; they all asked me to focus on exams
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
I've never made a proper maths video before but I really really really want to spend the next month learning manim and use that to make a video about algebraic graph theory to submit to #SomEpi . Is that a good use of time?
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
24 days
Found an answer. As a bonus, I stumbled upon this paper with a cute title. Hamilton would be proud. #Math
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
24 days
Are there any examples of graded rings/modules/algebras where the grading isn't ℤ/2ℤ or ℕ?
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
This is why I struggle to relate to others and why they struggle to relate to me. I tell people how much harder university level stuff is compared to everything before, yet they tell me that their experience is the opposite.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
My biggest regret is going to the University of Cambridge. It was simply not the place for me. I nearly worked myself to death (literally - I almost attempted s**cide) just to graduate with a third instead of a fail. Yet a third gets me nowhere, so what's the point?
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
6 months
Mathematicians pride themselves on being rigorous and precise with their statements, but posts like this aren't doing us any favours. The least you could do is add the phrase "for x, y, z, w ∈ ℤ". It's not like you're running out of characters - plus you have a blue check!
@fermatslibrary
Fermat's Library
6 months
Here is the only number that cannot be written as x² + 2y² + 7z² + 11w²
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
4 months
Every time I tell people that I'd like to think I'm capable of doing research despite doing poorly in exams, someone always tells me that having such confidence in the absence of research experience is the very definition of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Thoughts?
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
I know lots of "no math" people more than capable of doing a math PhD. One of my high school classmates who's now studying medicine humbled me in measure theory the other day.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 year
get out of my head GET OUT OF MY HEAD
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
Today I learned about Hartogs's extension theorem: if n≥2, G is a connected open subset of ℂⁿ and K is a compact subset of G, then any function in n complex variables that's holomorphic on G\K can be extended to a unique holomorphic function on G. (1/3)
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 month
I have the utmost respect to anyone who can juggle commitments alongside any degree (let alone a PhD). I had the privilege of being able to spend 16 hours a day studying yet I still nearly failed my undergrad. Yet I'm applying to grad schools with what's essentially a 2.0 GPA...
@SashaMTL
Sasha Luccioni, PhD 🦋🌎✨🤗
1 month
I used to be shy to publicly state that I had both of my kids during my PhD, but now I'm like: "Damn straight, I had two babies AND STILL managed to become a doctor in 5 years!" 👩‍🎓 @Momademia
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 year
@TonyTheLion2500 These statements are equivalent. However, (∀x)(∃δ) and (∃δ)(∀x) are two different statements. It's worth noting that ∀ commutes with ∀, ∃ commutes with ∃, but ∀ does not, in general, commute with ∃.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 year
@jbeardsleymath agreed, abstract algebra is easier than calculus
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
@LucinaUddin My undergrad professors like to say stuff like "I'm bounded by contract to not lie, and that includes lying by omission. As much as I'm happy to write about your contagious passion and unparalleled work ethic, I cannot omit your immense struggle and subpar grades."
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
Has IMO gotten easier this year or have I just gotten better at maths? I've never been able to solve a single IMO question in the past, but this time I spotted a solution for Q1 and Q5 almost instantly. After a while I think I also have a solution for Q2 but I'm not sure.
@deedydas
Deedy
3 months
International Math Olympiad (IMO) is the hardest math test for high schoolers. —USA beat the favorite China with a mostly Chinese-American team —India came 4th, 1pt short of Korea —Haojia Shi [China] got a perfect score 2x in a row, the 7th to ever do that 6 questions, NINE hrs!
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
- Hence I'm basically on my own, which is bad b/c validation from someone established is a near-necessary condition for 1st-time publishers to not get labelled as spam - For the record, that paper was hardly a distraction from exam preparation
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
Average Cambridge degen
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
I'm leaving the UK tomorrow. Part of me can't help thinking that it's about time I got out of this hellhole, but another part of me feels greatly indebted to all the amazing people I've met over the last few years. Anyhow, it's going to be a new chapter of my life.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
4 months
If mathematics has taught me one thing, it's the ability to think and look before you ask. So much that I now get annoyed when someone asks another human a question that could be answered by either ChatGPT within 20 attempts or by Google search within the first 5 pages of results
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
@MathMatize Me personally, I have more trouble with the symbol for the Weierstrass elliptic function.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 year
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
Doing maths at the graduate level.
@RealDianeYap
Diane Yap
2 months
Men: what are some attractive female hobbies?
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
I can't for the life of me remember whether it's the domain vector space or the codomain vector space whose change of basis acts contravariantly on linear maps. As such, I get the change of basis formula wrong half the time.
@natesolon
Nate Solon
3 months
I’m a chess master and I can’t remember which month comes after another without saying all 12 out loud. My wife, a brain scientist, gets left and right mixed up close to 50% of the time when giving directions. Does everyone have some sort of basic knowledge blind spot like this?
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
However, this example is only nice because the stochastic process on the associated sequence of iidRVs has a nice interpretation. Are there any other examples of such Markov chains (either another choice of µᵢ's or an entirely different family of transition matrices)? 2/2
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 year
@tara_taylor @Anthony_Bonato Yeah, it becomes a habit. I struggle to communicate with non-mathmos because I always talk like this: "there exists a non-empty subset of his friends who drink a non-zero amount of alcohol"
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
3 months
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@Naina_2728
Naina
3 months
what is the most deranged thing you’ve spent your adult money on? i’m trying to observe something
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
2 months
Everyone keeps telling me that if I just keep trying different methods, I'll always solve it eventually. But more often than not, I pour hundreds of hours into an undergraduate-exercise-difficulty problem to no avail. Is this survivorship bias? Am I just not fit for maths?
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 year
@Anthony_Bonato The four-colour theorem enjoyers approve of this post.
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@t0tientqu0tient
TotientQuotient
1 month
just the fact that such practices were so normalised in our uni makes me feel like I've been tainted with bad influences despite constantly telling myself that "this is bad and wrong". Anyone else have a similar experience? I don't even know what's normal and what's not anymore.
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