Jake Not Jacob Profile Banner
Jake Not Jacob Profile
Jake Not Jacob

@spitlahhhh

Followers
571
Following
1,182
Media
7,421
Statuses
31,818

despiser of the grocer’s’s apostrophe. I wouldn’t follow me either

Buffalo, NY
Joined November 2011
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@spitlahhhh
Jake Not Jacob
5 months
amy poehler showing up at SNL to parody kim mulkey’s press conference
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@spitlahhhh
Jake Not Jacob
8 months
sir, Pilgrim has added a third ethnicity
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8 months
here’s what you would look like if you were a latina
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@tamagotchimilf @MichaelaOkla “If you wish to possess the key to my heart, you must first find the key that I’ve hidden in your small intestine. You have 30 minutes. Good luck”
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@spitlahhhh
Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@salonipatell I wonder if Colton’s hairline got held back as many times as he did
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@spitlahhhh
Jake Not Jacob
2 years
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@spitlahhhh
Jake Not Jacob
3 years
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@hasanthehun “This guy”
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Jake Not Jacob
5 months
@kpazz9 @lmp3rfect @soaptwerkin @pinkpantherez looks like they were drinking just fine
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@spitlahhhh
Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@BradleyMartyn You single-handedly just ruined what was an incredibly enjoyable series of videos that brought myriad people across Twitterdotcom together in harmony in the span of 40 seconds. May the ratio be swift absolutely devastating. There is only one king of the milk crate and he is here:
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@spitlahhhh
Jake Not Jacob
7 months
the entire episode where stan becomes steve’s bully is top 5
@DanManShow
The Dan The Man Show 💥
7 months
19 years ago today, peak premiered on FOX What are some of your favorite moments from the show?
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
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@spitlahhhh
Jake Not Jacob
7 months
the refs realizing they have to call intentional grounding on mahomes
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@spitlahhhh
Jake Not Jacob
3 years
The last scene of Rogue One is better than all three Godfather movies combined
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@didionesque okay Splice is the exact opposite but should be included anyway
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Jake Not Jacob
1 year
@andresval @YoungRaww95 @TheNBACentral @people “sOmEwHeRe iN tHe MiDdLe” yeah alright buddy
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Jake Not Jacob
9 months
liberals are genuinely comparing protestors to the westboro baptist church and i can’t even begin to express how fucking stupid you have to be to think that’s an accurate comparison
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Jake Not Jacob
1 year
@JUNlPER hoooooooold the fort
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@Imreallymad @getnickwright @minakimes if you want the honest answer, it’s literally just because she’s a woman
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Jake Not Jacob
6 months
@GarbageApe damn i really expected better from “baron von rittenhouse” what a disappointing tweet
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@spitlahhhh
Jake Not Jacob
3 years
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Jake Not Jacob
7 months
@brockomole she cheat on me with my best man til i’m suicidal
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@spitlahhhh
Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@BenShh1 whoa there, you think Palestinian children shouldn’t get carpet bombed????
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@spitlahhhh
Jake Not Jacob
8 months
@AdamDavis Nazr Mohammed mentioned
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@ProgPro Red Hot Chili Peppers, Radiohead, Nine Inch Nails, Smashing Pumpkins while not related at all, they’re all horrendously overrated
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
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Jake Not Jacob
7 months
how did i forget about this one lmao
@DanManShow
The Dan The Man Show 💥
7 months
19 years ago today, peak premiered on FOX What are some of your favorite moments from the show?
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@valcoholics1 @PhantasmaJones @chrisfolse You don’t want to manifest that toxic energy into your headspace, love that for you
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@GisselleHern @AdamDaniluk @didionesque lmao it’s not actually her don’t worry
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@dayruins This is actually incredibly alarming to watch. I’m shocked to see someone feeding such a young kitten unprocessed foods, and here’s why (1/64🧵)
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Jake Not Jacob
9 months
NFL refs: we do not want the Buffalo Bills to win this game Josh Allen:
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@MeganBitchell this tweet hitting my brain
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@hasanthehun hasan you should be paying this person’s student loans. this is your fault. the system is not broken. YOU are.
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@aubreyhirsch *gestures hand*
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@helen i think it was him
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@bobo_circus @JaneOst_ @ChillStableGuy i don’t even know who she is but lmao
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@MichaelaOkla I think they go in this
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Jake Not Jacob
10 months
@sigfig lol they did this with an old police station in Buffalo too and they turned the cells into “co-working stations”
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@EoinHiggins_ We literally haven’t elected enough women of color into positions of power that we they had to put white women in this to fill out the picture
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Jake Not Jacob
5 months
@LieberFilms @InverseTheCons yeah man no one has ever accidentally gotten hurt before. Every time I get hurt it’s because I did it on purpose
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@TylerIAm me when I get there after reading the news today
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@TheRedHeadWrite @Vegalyp @SebastienneL @shakeyfinch @PottedHerbs I read the Fitten report on it, it’s absolutely disgraceful
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Jake Not Jacob
1 year
this was me when Courtney said “I didn’t give you permission to stop moving your little asses”
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@corklezlaplante
courtney laplante™️
1 year
Every night after the show I go through @thiswildbemis photos and the ones that get me the most are the ones of YOU 🥲. Toronto you made us feel so special last night, we could hardly get any sleep, we were still so excited from the show
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Jake Not Jacob
1 year
my brain at 1:00am every day
@abughazalehkat
Kat Abu
1 year
If you forgot how weird Tucker was, here’s a good reminder:
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Jake Not Jacob
5 months
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Jake Not Jacob
4 years
Stop “stanning” Marianne Williamson challenge
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Jake Not Jacob
1 year
@SethB_42 @TopGirlKeiko this is you right now
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Jake Not Jacob
5 months
i have so many but here’s one
@destroynectar
sea✰
6 months
What video is the reason they shouldn’t ban TikTok?
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@aubreyhirsch picking up ice out of a bucket/random object that froze overnight and dropping it on cement
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Jake Not Jacob
6 months
@stickydacat @Hoodie_Milly wouldn’t the tree be red then
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@KatLaRonde alright so when i was maybe 8 or 9 i was a little shithead who thought it would be funny to make eye contact with Koga (lorge boi) and pound my chest like a gorilla…he sprinted up to the glass and slammed on it right in my face core memory, core fear unlocked
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Jake Not Jacob
11 months
@KitsanBC @benegotherit i mean yeah in this made up scenario i’m sure the dying person would be upset lmao
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Jake Not Jacob
1 year
@CrimsonGash @kennedytcooper WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN LMAO
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Jake Not Jacob
1 year
sEaRcHeD dEsPeRaTeLy ThRoUgH tHe WrEcKaGe
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@Kellen_Browning
Kellen Browning
1 year
On Friday, Elicia Stratton searched desperately through the wreckage of her Lahaina home for the Rolex watch her parents gave her when she graduated college. Suddenly, her fiancé pulled it from the ashes. “You found it!” she said, choking up. It was damaged but still legible.
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Jake Not Jacob
1 year
there was a guy in the pit at the @AlphaWolfCVLT show last night who was walking around like a gorilla before the wall of death and it was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen
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Jake Not Jacob
8 months
@dizzydoinggreat “fucked you into existence without your consent” HUH???????????
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Jake Not Jacob
11 months
@LeonardRobot don’t you dare disrespect Chip Skylark like this
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Jake Not Jacob
8 months
@AdamDavis FUCK YES THANK YOU
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
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Jake Not Jacob
4 months
i just know he was sitting there like this the entire trip
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@kikelooomo
kiks.
4 months
and i just want to say fuck my uber driver, i bawled my eyes from the beginning of the trip to the end and this guy wore his headphones as soon as i started crying.
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@cloudeeuhh
caca
3 years
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Jake Not Jacob
9 months
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Jake Not Jacob
4 years
Keith Sweat’s trending? Perfect time to bust out Steve Smith singing a classic
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2 years
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@psuedocidal She’s plotting and getting stronger than you can possibly imagine Halloween Pt. 25: Fort Myers
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Jake Not Jacob
8 months
@AdamDavis I started the list when I was [redacted] and basically any time I get [redacted] and think of someone I remember from NBA Live I’ll add them lmao
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Jake Not Jacob
1 year
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@heluvvsana You just made me go through my notes app and I found this one from when I had juuuuust lost 20 pounds almost 3 years ago. I was the heaviest I had ever been in my entire life and FINALLY got back below 300, so I guess I wrote a note as a reminder. I weigh 210 now so I did it 🥲
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@AliceRHamilton the free speech defenders will probably just argue with you about the age of consent
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@AaronTheRad @chaser i can’t tell if you’re joking but people being able to anonymously say whatever shit they want with complete anonymity is very much not a good thing
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Jake Not Jacob
4 months
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3 years
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@abbieasr hope this helps!
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
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Jake Not Jacob
6 months
@DrewPavlou @hasanthehun yeah that’ll make israel stop slaughtering civilians for sure man great point!
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Jake Not Jacob
1 year
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@mcnulty_salty @sheapforwheet @2bmrap it’s a good idea until you spill them
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Jake Not Jacob
1 year
hailee steinfeld after seeing all of the tweets about her from insane bills fans
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@blaireerskine Honestly this response is devastating
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Jake Not Jacob
1 year
@UnbiasedCrime @AGoldsmithEsq @CensoredMen do you have any videos of yourself doing these jobs
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3 years
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Jake Not Jacob
2 months
@PharoahAshseti @Universe__Lover “hey mike from accounting, you’re never gonna believe what roseanne said her pronouns were!!!”
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@violentlyepic not the adhd tweet holy shit lmao
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2 years
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@MattWalshBlog @Jezebel Time to bust out a classic again
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@kenklippenstein Giving $100 to people to get vaccinated is unfair to everyone who got vaccinated and didn’t get $100
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Jake Not Jacob
6 months
@wizardsonmybloc @HannahPosted yeah i used to accidentally buy spiked seltzer and arizona iced tea from CVS all the time as a 10 year old now i’m an alcoholic :/
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
@MichaelaOkla “None of your post applies to me” *replies anyway*
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@JUNlPER @MargBarAmerica the funniest thing is that she genuinely thinks that the fbi reacts like this when an account called “libsoftiktok” tweets at them
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
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Jake Not Jacob
2 years
@awktravels @aIightbuIb @NCassiel @yuckybangs and a video game that just came out called The Quarry, he was awesome in it
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Jake Not Jacob
4 years
Josh Allen haters waiting for him to make a mistake
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Jake Not Jacob
3 years
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Jake Not Jacob
6 months
@imbethmccoll got you fam 🫡
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Jake Not Jacob
10 months
@RitchieTorres @MartiGCummings you’re not just a joke, you’re the whole circus
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