Colin Asiimwe
@Spartakussug
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Following
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4,557
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73,886
Change the world. Break it if you must. Strategy. Brands. Masculinity
Uganda
Joined September 2009
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#ปิ่นภักดิ์EP6
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ANILPIN WE ARE THE ONE
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Edmundo
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Kendrick
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#CLAP_for_SVTpalooza
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Super Bowl
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SEVENTEEN AT LOLLAPALOOZA
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Giants
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Drake
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jeonghan
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Wayne
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New Orleans
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Tyreek Hill
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Infinite Love with Junkyu
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Not Like Us
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Cowboys
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Steelers
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Dolphins
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NFL Sunday
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#TransferYapmakZORUNDASINIZ
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Bengals
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Vikings
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Dak Prescott
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Falcons
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Benzema
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Texans
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Colts
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seungkwan
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Justin Fields
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#NFLRedZone
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Stop this foolishness!
REPEAT AFTER ME : This will be the best financial year of my life!
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DNA Test should be abolished. Let kids be raised in the families they are born into at the moment 😌.
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You see how much a heart works to keep you alive and you then decide to give it to a munyankore woman. Anyway…
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I’m going to tell you a secret.
You run away from 1M rent.
You build a 150M -250M house.
You stop paying rent.
But still pay 2M a month in utilities and maintenance rest of your life.
Just make more money
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You come from a "respectable" family but every time Tamale Mirundi goes on air, your uncle has diarrhoea and your aunt who works in government has blood pressure. My friend, you are from a corrupt family.
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If you'd focused on your degree you'd have learnt the correct spelling of hassle. But anyway, we are here now.
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After a certain age, it stops mattering. One month you are the man, next month she is the man. 🤣🤣🤣
Men; how does it feel dating a woman with more money than you ?
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Took my first
@UG_Airlines
flight night. It was such a breeze.
When I found out that the pilot was Phillip Sebunya and Oscar Mabanga both of whom are old boys from school, I had to request the obligatory selfie.
I must say I was so proud of these men and the work they do.
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If I’m the one who worked, why is she the one getting the treat?
You’ve worked hard today, so treat your WCW to some new heels. That is, if she was rocking one today.
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Its just hit me.
I’ve landed on it!
The thing that is annoying the leaders of 🇺🇬
They are equating the ask for justice and end to corruption to “talking back” at them.
The feel violated. insulted.
But that’s strange because their UK Educated kids talk to them like this!
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Dear UOT
I would like to remove the emotion and the feelings and for two seconds take a dispassionate approach to this Saleh situation. The facts as they've been established are:
1) A guy posted a tweet about how he'd like to attract better women in 2020
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Anyway, lwakuba married guys tebaleakinga DMs naye some of the beggars on this TL would be silenced/exposed.
Obulaba kuwogana na kuleega buwuzi bwa mpale
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The most surprising thing I've found out living in Kenya is the idea of one food/starch in your meals- it's either ugali or rice or potatoes or yam or chapati
As a Ugandan who is used to having 3 foods and 2 sauces per meal I find this to be very "Israelites in the desert" esque
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was wiping down the old phone and see what i found 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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I've discovered the impunity and lack of transparency we see at the gov't level begins in our homes.
You live in a house for years and you've never seen a menu. What is served is kept in your wife's head.
Everyday is like playing Russian Roulette to avoid peas
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You are just there being a nice third wife to a man and the main wife causes all of you problems.
😅😅😅😅
Uganda is a movie!
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I’ve been thinking…
Since we are such a religious country,
Since we are such a faithful country,
Since we want to be together in this impending suffering
Let’s get the churches/ mosques to contribute to the tax base
Let’s Tax all religious institutions
For Nat’nal Dev’t
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It's been an emotional last 24 hours...
After 4 years, yesterday the Chief Magistrate at Mengo court ruled in my favour in the court case against former presidential aspirant Amama Mbabazi for unpaid fees.
Creatives Be Steadfast. Be Bold. Fight For Your Work.
#GoForward
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That silence by all your major media outlets is very very loud.
Note it.
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On this day this 6 years ago, we said I do.
It's truly been a miraculous journey. Some mountains surmounted. So much more to do.
Two amazing sons later, it's still baffling that we choose the comfortable shoes. To go the different way. To be original.
May the fire always burn
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The problem with being poor is triple edged when it’s combined with entitlement and stupidity.
Time with a king is more precious than gold. But you’d never know it
Taking me out and buying me lunch worth 150k then you give me upkeep or transport for 20k makes me look at you like an idiot. So why can't you just send me the 170k i make my own plans 🚮🚮🚮
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Sometimes you just let the TL be the judge of your photography skills.
#LightTubePainting
.
#KoiKoiUg
Assisted by
@babrungi
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Do something dangerous.
Never apologize for the leaps of faith you take.
Stepping off a 38M bungee jump in Jinja Uganda
#ExploreUganda
#BungeeUganda
#LifeBeyondFear
#SteelNerves
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Husbands be careful out there. Wives out here building secret houses and buying secret plots of land under the advice of “You can’t depend on men”.
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Yall have spent the day talking about lawyers but when you hear of the situation in advertising agencies you will know the reason Gomesis have no pockets 😅😅😅😅
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In one week the Vice President has deleted and the CDF has deleted.
In Uganda, anyone can delete.
Excluding Natif. Oyo ye yakaluba omutwe.
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Ugandan Twittersphere has been in turmoil this last month.
This is a list of reading recommendations for young men to fortify and strengthen their mind spaces.
The books in this list might sound controversial but they will challenge you to think about old things in new ways
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Do you think govt leaks documents in order to reduce on media money for public sensitization?
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Did anyone notice that our Vanessa Nakate, for all her attention antiques is on the cover of Time?
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I'm looking for die-hard F1 fans in Uganda. If you are one or know one, tag them to this tweet. Teams: Red Bull, Ferrari, Petronas, Mercedes, and Maclaren
PS: This is a wogos tweet.
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In 2019, if you learn of people's betrayal, say nothing. Simply cut them off and keep it moving.
Life's too exciting to be splitting your share of mind with fork tongued embiciles.
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Your strongest friends. Those one who take care of everyone and never ask for anything. Those ones. Check on them and listen as they lie to you about how "fine" they are.
It's tough being tough.
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The problem is the pastors have created this stigma and shroud of shame around sex work.
We must be open about what people want to do and expect to be compensated for.
Otherwise, the only reason you are counting the cost of your outfit is it’s the most valuable item on you
Giving a woman 50k after a date night is not it men, what is 50k to a woman who came wearing an outfit worth 200k, make up worth 70k, uber of 30k plus her time, all just to come meet a man who is going to send her home with 50k, men please plan well before inviting a woman out.
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Wives, if your husband has a smartwatch, please check up on his heart rate.
It's not your children's school fees giving him pressure. It's his other children's school fees that are going to give him cardiac arrest.
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Now let's give 'em 'ell
Move fast. Push harder.
There is no traffic jam in the extra mile
MultiChoice Uganda’s Asiimwe Colin moving to Wave Mobile Money as Marketing Lead
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#SundayThoughts
Use your money and time to take care of people you say you love and care about. Invest in friendships, invest in friends who are having a hard time, support friends with businesses trying to make it, friends who are building , going to school, etc. Its worth it
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They should talk to the proprietor of Gash Luxe and understand Kampala’s price elasticity
Fantastic water-park re-opened in Nalya, but nearly 80% of visitors turn back once informed of entrance price at 100k, same price for kids, adults/caretakers.
Middle class here is a lie. Everything is price-sensitive.
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On Schools:
My personal philosophy is that if your internal brand DNA is right, you can come from Butsibo Secondary School in Bushenyi go to Namilyango College and still make epic friends and peers in life
Take your kids to schools you can afford.
(TBT)
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If they don’t come, whose bottles will y’all be tapping on? Hmmm?
So are your husbands coming for brunch on Sunday? I want to see something.
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That joy when you know the nyash is yours for life. That from now on, you have to work harder than her, be more connected, be faster, make more money.
That's the face of a guy who just got his life sentence
I want to look at someone the way Kabuura looks at Flavia
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I'm going to drop a thread for Ugandan influencers about the influencer game in Kenya that I have observed so far...
Needles away.
Thread loading....
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You know how nefarious those Monitor people are.
They are using a bread demonstration when just yesterday there was story of how bread in Uganda is no longer 1Kg.
They are telling us the budget is from Supaloaf.
The front pages this morning.
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Have you heard of this new malaria strain that’s not showing up on tests? And people are dying from it?
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You ever heard about those girls who won't get in shape when you are dating them and once you dump them , they go on a revenge body mission?
Hehehe... we are about to be that girl
"If they cut aid, we shall sit down and discipline our expenditure."
President Museveni responds to the West's criticism of Uganda's Anti-Homosexuality law.
#NTVNews
More 👉
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Men, if you search in ministry of lands for your children names and you find them and you didn't put them there, just know it's either their mothers who put those titles in their names or their real fathers are securing their inheritance.
Do with this information what you wish
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Today I celebrate those friends who love us enough to hurt us with the truth for beyond the tears and denial and anger comes clarity, gratitude and an abiding loyalty.
People you don't doubt when they say "I'm on your side"
#BreakUsToMendUs
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Last Saturday was an amazing celebration of Marcus Musiimenta's birthday. Keeping these 9th birthday memories here.
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I just unfollowed that low-budget Simon Cowell.
Like your whole entire thing as a middle aged smart man can’t be antagonizing people any chance you get for engagements.
It’s selfish, narcissistic and shows you don’t have the will to build towards a common good.
Good riddance
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In June, we were standing somewhere and
@qataharraymond
said to me
"We have met the next president of this country. He is among us. We can't know him now but I know we have met him. Our job is to prepare ourselves so that when the time comes, we're able to give what he needs"
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Parents of S 6 vacists please consider sending them to get project management training and certification.
Don’t waste another 3 years of their lives.
Give them the head start they need while the rest sort the beaten path.
These professions are the future of work.
Please.
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Dear URA, after the traders, also go to schools and school fees. Then finally, we go to ranchers. Ok? Are we together?
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But dear
@BBCWorld
why would you say anti-govt protests when everyone is telling you it’s anti corruption?
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Please keep a list of those parents who are giving iPhones and money bouquets to candidates.
We will reach out to them for Comment when results are back since it takes a village to raise a child.
Because some of you parents are doorknobs.
Dense as lead.
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PSA:
When your friends say they miss you, they mean they miss talking and connecting with you, chatting, gossiping and laughing with you.
Make time for them.
They don't mean:
Mpa ku kasolo.
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Kampala is so crazy wait when you find out your man is another man’s other man.
You be thinking your man has other women kumbe you're the other women
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This is a hilarious situation of when you save the side piece as Andrew. Then you get caught 😂😂😂😂😂
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You think when the wives’ council sits and they are discussing threats to their happiness, they keep sharing this picture in the group?
Really?
Atte don’t block me, my tooth is paining
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Young Kings, no matter what situation you are going through, keep on the grind. Don't let the situation win.
#GrindOverFear
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Is it more embarrassing than the fact that she has sued them for UGX 36Bn for image rights?
I think the most embarrassing news about the
#MissCurvyUganda
campaign is that the model,
@GraceMsalame
, is Kenyan.
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Young cats, it’s not always that you must marry those Baganda girls.
Bro… unless your conformance covers heart issues you are taking a big risk
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Do you ever secretly judge people who are looking for chargers at 8:30am in the morning?
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4 years ago, you chose me.
You said yes to me.
You allowed me to choose you
That journey continues to be wonderful and amazing and surprising all at once
As we continue to do life together, may your smile always light our path & your heart guide our way
I love you
@ckamusic
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Consider this a teachable moment.
The word cum is in Latin and is often used to replace "and/or".
Obviously this wouldn't be an issue if you read widely but here we are.
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Today, I'd like to celebrate an entrepreneur who I've known and supported for 10 years.
Allow me to officially say Hongera to Mandela group for exporting the World Class Cafe Javas experience to Nairobi.
To big portions and Ugandan Service
#Patron4Life
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Have you considered that if you had more to offer in the realm of character, habits & hobbies youd be interesting enough to make chores a non issue?
Your own internal low value attracts women who don't read, are slobs & aren't motivated to please you in any way beyond the menial
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@Kaitesi_Jessica
😂😂 it's funny how people who need money always try to belittle those who make it
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If that is your child, remember that intelligence comes from parents.
If it's your sibling, then y'all have the same parents.
If you are not related to the person you are here shaming for retweets- you are the one with a big F-9
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No matter where the winds of life blow you, may you always find your way home.
May the ground rise up to meet your feet.
May the sun always rise behind you.
And may the travelers you meet always be worthy of a first.
I did sth today for the first time.
#Handshake
#HomeBound
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This is hilarious because you can now get married, divorced and remarried before your original marriage certificate comes out 🤣
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Be careful of religious leaders who push such messages like
#DenounceNyegenyege
but freely take tithes, appearances and offerings from the corrupt and malicious political class.
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Y'all are not ready to hear how your favourite tourism motivational speaker steals people's ideas.
Been at it a minute. Big talk. Big influence. Money with no ideas.
Stay out old man, the people with ideas are inbound. Ideas that can't be stolen.
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But did you know the same creative who gave us MTN's Bosco Ad in 2018 is very same guy who gave us Warid's Pakalast in 2009?
1 mind. To rule us all.
Don't argue with me. This guy is tapped deep into the Ugandan psyche.
We'll done
@EricMununuzi
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
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Sentence construction?
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Today is my mum's birthday. It's also museveni's birthday. Tell me how you are supposed to live with such love and hate in one heart.
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🤣🤣🤣
But as Nansubuga with your waistrainer, 2 th0ngs, a waist bead and your Gazaland hair piece what are you filtering?
These things are funny when people write them but the reality is that resource concentration will you that you won’t have your man, it’ll just be your turn
Low value men are attracted to independent women because they’re trying to escape their roles.Demand for support,it’ll filter them out. ❤️
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Common Quote: “Blood is thicker than water”
Actual Quote: “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”
Meaning: Chosen bonds are stronger than bonds of family or water of the womb.
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Do you keep a list of friends who you know need work or are in bad jobs and could really use a step up?
So that when your connections call you looking for people to hire, you know to put your friends' names there?
No?
Folder: "My Assets Growth Plan"
Includes: CVs, contacts
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No hair. Now you just want to walk around with no head?
Not this nigga saying we might bag a brace coz both Mr. 1986 & Mr. Go Forward are unwell. Smdh.
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Here is what I find hilarious, the cool kids are out here laughing at Kyambogo kids yet in the work environment no HR person wants to hire the entitled, spoilt MUK/MUBS kids. They all want Kyambogo graduates!!
Keep laughing
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You build a swimming pool. You don't cover it. You don't fence it. Your children drown. Your househelp is is arrested for negligence.
Who is stupid?
Anyway... Moving on
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So it’s actually possible to paint every curbstone in Kampala?
Who knew?
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Dear Recruiter,
This is the third time you have looked at my LinkedIn profile in 2 weeks.
Either offer me the job or let me be in peace. The hope is about to take a son of man.
Signed
#JobSeeker
Mgt
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I have a question, you as a woman answering this poll gladly choosing UGX 8,000,000
Look at yourself. Are you the woman a man who earns 8million would have?
Let’s be self aware please
Question for LADIES. If you were to marry a man what should be his minimum monthly NET salary? In Uganda Shillings 🇺🇬
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One of the things I found out this year that really changed my mindset
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Moving to Muyenga has shown me that we really have Uganda A and Uganda B.
The sun actually rises in the windows.
There are birds chirping.
The leaves on trees are green not brown.
Anyway, we move!
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When you can gaslight 50% of 48 million people you have achieved Wizard status
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Bro, take this feedback to your ancestors. You aren’t the talent in the fam. Mummy is the real OG of this famwa!
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Dear Lord,
May I never be the person who reminds people of the kindnesses I have done them.
Here is a warning, people who tell you other people's secrets will tell others your secrets.
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Here's an idea:
1. Sign a contract that makes Tamale Mirundi exclusive to NBS
2. Get a team to do some prep work with him
3. Do some graphic packages around his epic stories
4. Subtitle his show
Just an idea
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