Moses Rudende (BEWILDERED HERD MEMBER #0069)
@rudende
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Last Seen Profiles
Another athlete? She really loves men with stamina-mina.
Jimmy Butler and Shakira are currently dating, per
@usweekly
.
“Jimmy makes Shakira smile, and she feels happy spending time with him.”
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This was the moment physics became a suggestion to the franchise.
As long as you've got family.
What was the moment Fast and the Furious abandoned reality? I was trying to think of the exact point.
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Until a minister boards last minute and you have to give up your seat and be stranded in Addis Ababa for the next 24 hours with no compensation. 🙄
Exceptional Ethiopian hospitality and a charming smile follow you all the way through your journey!
#FlyEthiopian
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I can assure you, NO ONE would ever confuse this for Harvard. Post your picture and go.
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I have no idea what he be rapping about, but Sarkodie has the tightest flow on the continent. Why lie?
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I'm convinced that there's a crew that goes around Kampala at night digging potholes into the roads.
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Something about Joshua looks different. . Can't put my finger on it though.
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“A developed country is not a place where the poor have cars. It's where the rich use public transportation.”
― Gustavo Petro
See how Kampala looked like in 1962. All vehicles were for colonialists and a few government officials. Now almost everyone has a car while others have more than one. Thank you
@KagutaMuseveni
and
@NRMOnline
.
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If you banks in Uganda don’t pick up Dennis Onyango and make him the face of your savings account, then you need to rethink your marketing strategies.
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Women in biology.
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There's levels to this s**t.
🇺🇬
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Work hard. Use deodorant. Drink water. Be nice. Eat avocado.
Have a great month.
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When they go low. . . Well done Barbie.
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GIVE DENNIS ONYANGO A NALUBAALE. GIVE HIM A DISTRICT. MAKE HIM AMBASSADOR TO SOMEWHERE. APPOINT HIM PRESIDENT OF FUFA.
GIVE THAT MAN HIS FLOWERS TODAY.
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I have GOT to get me some of this Wild Coffee!
Mad shouts to
@Wakaliwood
for shooting this ad! Agencies, what say you?
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At least you're consistent.
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A police bus was stolen? As in, a whole police bus?
Uganda zaabu.
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Well, there’s something you don’t see everyday.
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You gave up on Ugandan journalists (collectively) because one of them used the right technical term?
You'll definitely give up on all mixologists when you discover Long Island Tea isn't really tea.
The day he called a Tear gas canister a grenade is when i gave up on Ugandan journalists 😂😂😂
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Name an actor who crushed a role so hard, no one else could ever compare… 💭
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Dedicated ambulance lanes to go to which hospitals?
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I can assure you, NO ONE would think it's "Washington or London".
Post your picture and go.
This is not Paris, it's not Washington and it's not London. It is Africa, it is Uganda and this is all
#Musevenomics
.
Well done President
@KagutaMuseveni
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"Dropping spoilers on social media is the same as masturbating in public. You're the only one enjoying it, while the rest of us are staring at an idiot"
Best description I've heard to date.
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Sat in traffic along Kabakanjagala Road, and 3 boys (who looked like they were on their way to coaching) were sharing a laugh and a kaveera of bindaazi. You should have seen the elation on their faces.
Adulthood is a trap. A bloody scam, even. Mssssssstttttccchhheeewwwwwwwww.
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With digital plates, one will be able to activate amphibious mode.
The whole of Kampala in one photo
A school, a lodge, a labour export agency, a herbalist curing all illnesses, a boda boda, bad drainage and a Subaru
#SteadyProgress
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This man? PUT SOME RESPECT ON THE NAME OF BBALE FRANCIS.
Is it just me or Samson Kasumba wants to sounds like this man?
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You spelt BRITNEY SPEARS wrong.
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Good morning
@cafejavas_ug
. Thank you for all you've given us, we are forever grateful. Now, seeing as how you've steadily increased prices while quietly reducing portion sizes for a while now, how about giving us all day breakfast?
How do you see it?
For God and My Country.
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Win or lose, you have to admit;
Golola Moses of Uganda is bloody entertaining. Why lie?
He better win though. Not after all this katemba.
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Fun fact: Of the 30 fastest men's 100m race times ever, only nine have been run by an athlete NOT banned for doping/drugs.
All 9 have been run by Usain Bolt.
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I was about to reply and raise my fingers in offense to this tweet. However, having thought about it, I realize that this is a cry for help. You must be really sad and lonely.
Get professional help, Sir. And may God have mercy on your soul.
Ps. The ones with flags.
#SMH
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Just like the Avatar, this chap disappeared when we needed him most.
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If you're still on the fence about the state of affairs in this nation, then read this piece by
@wirejames
on who Bobi Wine is. Thank you for sharing Sir. Here's the first part.
#FreeBobiWine
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Well, I got news for you, my friend; you’re about to become a chronic masturbator.
Stay your ass at home. Sanitize your hands before and after. Tumbavu.
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First off, change your definition of who a “hero” is. And then do your research. The police women on site? The mama who brought breakfast for the teams? The blood donors? The doctors and nurses? The journalists?
Stop this “Rambo” mentality that heroes only come in guns blazing.
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Michael Ross needs to pull a Spice Diana. Just like she dropped her track "32", he needs to drop a track called "Throw Me Off". Or something like that.
Opportunity!!
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The streets are wild sometimes! Savage!!! 😂🤣😂🤣
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If you want us to contribute, then do an IPO-type arrangement and float shares so we can have a say in how affairs at the centre are run. Or go the route of a PPF with venture firms and the like. But to pass akabbo when you got the loan on your own? Nedda boss.
I couldn't sleep knowing that
@NdereCentreUg
was going to be no more due to covid induced financial distress of sh. 10 Billion shillings. I came to share my heart with Steve Rwangyenzi. I found that Rita Sserukenya Nkemba was also here. We need everyone to help
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I can assure you, NO ONE would think this is Cambridge.
Post your rooftops and go.
Kenyans think this is Cambridge university, But this is just Bushenyi technical college in village of western Uganda 🤣🤣
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Great! Now, how about leaving groups unannounced? A Ninja Exit Mode would be nice!
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Does this same brain help you with basic tasks like brushing your teeth and tying your shoelaces?
All those that are pretending to be fighting corruption through the so called
#exhibition
cannot even win a parish free and fair election.
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Those of you saying "At least we only have 52 cases", remember that ALL of those countries with thousands of DEATHS today had 50 cases or less just EIGHT WEEKS AGO.
We DO NOT have the same health facilities they do.
Please, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, STAY AT HOME.
#COVID19UG
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My fellow Ugandans, let’s seek other ways to send money besides mobile money. Don’t pay your bills with it. Don’t buy airtime even. Explore other ways to send money to your loved ones.
DO NOT LET THEM WIN.
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Pineapple lovers and non-pineapple lovers, hear me; WE MUST PUT OUR DIFFERENCES ASIDE AND UNITE TO FIGHT AGAINST THIS EVIL.
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“I saw vehicle. . Coming, COMING. . . I realised that AH! THIS IS AN ACCIDENT!!!"
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This, children, is why drugs are bad for you.
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Driving on Acacia Avenue should be considered an extreme sport. We used to drive on the left of road, now we drive on what’s left of the road.
- Joel Khamadi, 2017.
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It’s been really hot these past few days, and now the weather has suddenly changed.
Almost like a chameleon, as if.
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Watching parliamentary proceedings in this our nation and can't help but recall what Robert Kirunda said when he was hosted on NBS a couple of years ago.
May God uphold we.
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I can't even begin to express how happy this made me.
I know it made you happy too.
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Don't you just love the gifts that you pay for yourself? They're the best kind!
Thank you, UNRA!!
🎁🎈Our Christmas gift to you🎈🎁
#Sentema
Interchange should be ready soon!
Moving to & from Kalerwe to Busega and being trapped in traffic jam along Northern Bypass will be history. Traffic across Masanafu & Namungoona will be using the bridge on the interchange.
#UNRAworks
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If you don’t know by now, then we really can’t help you.
What issues would you like to be tackled in tonight's Presidential Address?
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are going to introduce a bus system for school-going children, that is what is happening in developed countries - Betty Amongi
#NTVOnTheSpot
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Why are you tweeting in English? Don't you have your own language? 🙄
Why is Bakiga Nation in Buganda? Don't y'all have your own land? 😑
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Is Josephine Karungi the best interviewer on Ugandan TV today?
Quite likely.
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Actors with their stunt doubles.
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JOKE’S ON YOU, UMEME!!! I’D ALREADY PLANNED A CANDLELIT DINNER!!!!
YOUR MAMA!!!!!!
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Watching the videos of the parliamentarians "debating" (used VERY loosely in this context) brings you to a realization; They're really a microcosm of our society. That's what you get when you send S6 leavers to debate policy.
Counsel Kirunda said it best ages ago.
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There have been some moments in this country….
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BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO BELIEVE, BUT THEY NEED TO SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. . .
My Brain:
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Me:
ENO MIC, ENO MIC, ENO MICIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!
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One million shillings each? Seems a bit unfair considering the scale of what they achieved.
The She Cranes, that finished 7th at the recently concluded Netball World Cup in England has been given a heroes' welcome by the First Lady, also education and sports minister, Janet Museveni. Each of the players also received a UGX1 million cash token.
#NBSLiveAt9
#NBSSports
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Someone once said "the way Kampala looks good from the sky, it's sad we aren't all kalooli".
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@solomonking
That was in the movie after this one. Fast 5 (where this scene is from) was when they decided to abandon all logic. Chaps really went from street racers stealing video decks to space invaders.
Luda was a mechanic. He turned into a satellite hacking martial artist!😭😭
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Was at Nanjing for dinner. Waiter suggested to get starters while we waited for the rest.
Me: Sure, what do you suggest?
Waiter: Since you're few, why not chicken wings and Chinese pancakes?
Me: (curious) Chinese pancakes? Sounds good.
It's a chapati. IT'S A CHAPATI. 😡
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It's ridiculous the number of people you'll see driving through Kampala like this. Even on the Northern Bypass! Two seconds of distraction is the difference between life and death.
STOP IT. Stay focused on the road.
<photo credit: Kami while we were parked at home>
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No one thinks that. Post your lunch and go.
Kati rich kids think this is not food😂😂
Nice Lunch good people 🙏🏻😊
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What a wonderful word. What a wonderful feeling.
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I was speaking with a niece of mine who joined boarding school for S1, and I asked her what the experience has been like so far.
"Uncle, they give us rice all the time. Rice and beans everyday!"
I wasn't quite sure how to react to that, so I acted shocked.
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I saw a tweet earlier saying Bobi Wine lives in Bebe Cool’s head rent free. After reading that list, you’d find it very difficult to argue otherwise.
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Don't worry, we got this.
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Wama, how far?
The yr is 2020 & this is Kla Railway Station. The current station is gng 2 be remodeled into a multi modal trans hub
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You’re a special kind of stupid.
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Felt adventurous, so I made myself a rolex. Yellow yolk and all.
I ate it.
I didn't enjoy it though. Lacked that hint of kafuufu.
Lesson learnt. Rolex is STRICTLY street food.
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Will Smith laughed at the joke, then walked up and smacked Chris Rock. Must have gotten a stare from Jada and realised "Eh! But I have to go home with her and I'm here laughing", ensonyi nna zifuula obusungu.
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Remember, we tweet among infants.
It's crazy how Musiala at 21 is already better than prime Özil 🌟
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Joanna.
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Dennis Onyango is currently the best goalkeeper in the world.
Go and argue with your optic nerves.
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<on the school run>
Kai: Daddy, how do you spell lasagna?
Me: L-A-S-A-G-N-A. Why?
Kai: Those people got it wrong.
Me: Huh? Which people?
Kai: Over there!
Meanwhile. . . 😆
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Sheeba: MY LOVER. . .
ME: YOU MAKE ME SHIIIIIIIVAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
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Samson Kasumba is a provocateur, usually contrarian without moral conviction. He tries to play the "theologian" to absolve himself from his stances, but he thrives on the attention. He yearns for it. Don't give it to him.
Ignore him.
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