Anna ✨
@sparkle_fairy_
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Mainly tweet about how crap my bladder and brain are 🤷🏼♀️
Joined July 2015
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5 years ago I was in intensive care following a suicide attempt.
Today I woke up in my own flat, ate chocolate for breakfast and felt glad that I’m alive. Life isn’t perfect now, but it’s a million times better than it was then.
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@tokyoslumbers
In response to me opening up about events that contributed to my C-PTSD diagnosis:
“At the time had you been drinking and what were you wearing? Did you consider that maybe wearing a skirt gave the wrong impression?”
I didn’t talk about it for 4 years after that convo 🤬
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@rey_z
I went to A&E having been really struggling with my eating disorder, which consequently was affecting my mood, to be told to ‘join the gym’, ‘think positively’ and to ‘try not to kill myself’ 👌🏼
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I was diagnosed with anorexia 8 years ago and for the first time today a professional told me they understood that physical recovery and mental recovery are two very different things... for the first time in a long time I actually felt heard!!
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I had to tell two counsellors on my bus today that it wasn’t acceptable to be talking about clients in such a public space. Confidentiality is one of, if not, the biggest foundations of a therapist client relationship. When will people learn this?
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What I wish people knew about eating disorders (a thread)...
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No one talks about how strange it is to have to carry on living after trying to take your life. You hit all these milestones that you never anticipated being alive for and are living in a future that you never believed you’d reach. It’s a bizarre place to be.
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2 yrs ago telling CMHT that I was suicidal & struggling beyond belief landed me in hospital, sectioned.
2 weeks ago telling them pretty much the exact same thing got me a response of ‘if you want to kill yourself then do it, it’s up to you’.
Something needs to change.
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I text my sister about how badly failed Aoifa was by mental health services and how something desperately needs to change and she replied ‘yes, that’s why I’m doing my degree’. The world needs more people like her in it, faith in humanity is a little more restored.
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My feed has suddenly been flooded with love for
@BethMatthewsz
- I wish you had known how loved you were, how many people cared. I’m sorry you were let down so badly 💔😭
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PSA: someone’s intelligence has absolutely no correlation to their mental health struggles. You cannot be ‘too clever’ to have mental health difficulties - the two are incomparable.
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Ppl need to talk more about effects of depression such as memory loss. My memory has gone completely since I started struggling with depression 6 years ago. It’s ruined my uni degree, is making me doubt whether I’ll ever be able to study again which then makes me feel even worse.
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I am 500 days self harm free and 460 days laxative abuse free! 🥳
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My wish for 2022?
To have my incorrect EUPD diagnosis removed and have mental health services treat me like a person and not a problem.
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Why does hiding under a blanket solve every problem? Sad? Blanket. Happy? Blanket. Tired? Blanket. Depressed? Blanket. Crying? Blanket. Cold? Blanket. World is ending? Blanket.
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@HRHMHowler
@JemimaCamhs
There was a patient w dementia in the bed next to me when I was a long-term inpatient a few years who used to be a nurse and would frequently walk round and do everyone’s obs… nearly screamed when she woke me up at 3am one morning 🤣
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Well I left the appointment in tears, she didn’t listen to a word I said. I really don’t know why I bother trying to be honest with mental health professionals when they throw it back in my face constantly 🤷🏼♀️
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I’ve never actually said this sentence out loud - to myself or to anyone else. But I don’t want anyone else to sit in silence and feel like they can’t talk, so maybe it’s time for me to actually say the words aloud?
In 2019 a nurse raped me whilst I was in hospital.
#ItsNotOk
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19 months since I last abused laxatives, 12 months since I last purged and 8 months since I last forced myself to exercise when I didn’t actually want to 💪🏼
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@sallyann98745
Does the term ‘fully informed consent’ mean nothing to the BPS any more? Because that’s what their guidelines say and what any psychology student would have been taught. She thought she had consent… not good enough. She needed to be 110% sure that she covered all bases.
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Just had an impromptu call from the out of hours/crisis team - they seem like they genuinely care and told me I need to let professionals and family hold hope for me whilst I can’t hold on to it myself. The best interaction with a crisis service in a long time!
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@rey_z
It’s absolutely shocking! I’m so sorry that all they gave you was a handout - it’s so so bad, I honestly find it so hard to comprehend how that can be deemed a suitable response to someone in crisis?!
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2) just because someone gains weight it does NOT mean that they are recovered from their eating disorder. I’m fed up of explaining this to professionals at the moment.
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@han_silvs
I had a GP ask me over the weekend what antibiotics I’d prefer to go on because he could see I have a long history of infections and wanted to make sure he took on board my ideas - in such a small way he really made me feel listened to!
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3) you can struggle with anorexia at any weight - it’s a MENTAL health condition, not a weight based one. Yes, weight comes in to it but it’s not all about that.
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1) there are more eating disorders than anorexia and bulimia - binge eating disorder, PICA, EDNOS and ARFID to name a few. People need to talk more about these!
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7) they’re not always about weight. Sometimes eating disorders are about control, dealing with difficult emotions, trying to process things. Weight is just one factor.
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My heart feels so heavy today. Trying to wrap my head around Aoifa, Lauren and Beth who fought their hardest, gave it their all, but didn’t have the care and support they needed… heartbroken doesn’t cover it 💔
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@will_marsden
I spent my birthday in hospital a few years ago and my parents bought me in a helium balloon… fast forward to my last night on the ward and I spent all evening scaring the crap out of nurses by inhaling helium and jumping out at them at random intervals 😂
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I’m tired of people saying things like ‘oh my gosh I don’t know how you do it, I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is to live your life’. Because I don’t have a choice. I have to live it. I can’t just wake up and decide to not be ill.
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Remember the first DBT session I had where I got asked to leave because I turned up in a jumper that says ‘we’re all mad here’? Because me too 😂
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Words from my therapist that I needed to hear but didn’t know I needed to hear number 1:
‘I’m not scared of the dark parts of you, you can talk to me about anything no matter the topic, no matter how dark and scary it gets’
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8) we are not manipulative and when we are deceptive it is not intentional - we are unwell and need help, not to be told off or treated like we are criminals or small children.
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Someone wouldn’t have ‘traits of schizophrenia’ on their notes if they only met one or two of the criteria. So why do so many people have ‘traits of EUPD’ on their notes when they only meet one or two of the criteria? Surely you either have the diagnosis or you don’t?
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#MyMentalHealthStory
I was diagnosed with anorexia & depression when I was 15 & have been in & out of hospital due to anorexia. Despite this I've also worked on wards & been able to try help people going through the same things - tomorrow I get discharged from ED services!
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This time tomorrow, after 7 long yrs, I will finally be discharged from the eating disorder team!! 7 years, 5 different areas, 6 workers, countless tears &weigh-ins, about 5000 meal plans & food diaries &I will be free! Things aren't perfect, but they're better than they were ❤
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I signed for my flat 2.5 weeks ago and this is the first time ever that I’ve moved somewhere new and not restricted my food, not planned a relapse and not spent hours exercising each day!
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We don’t talk enough about brain fog with chronic illness. I was a very academic person before I became ill, I could read for hours on end and loved learning. Now I’m lucky if I can remember my name or address when I go to pick up my meds 🤷🏼♀️
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@tozemarranita
@tricyclemayor
I’d take the SPC and pain of changes over dying from a ruptured bladder and sepsis too 👏🏼
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After 2.5 years of fighting for my diagnosis to change… EUPD has been removed from my records 🥳 it’s been agreed that C-PTSD is much better suited to my struggles. I did leave & had a flashback in the corridor as hearing others talk about my trauma is hard. But EUPD is gone!!!
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6) there is nothing desirable about having an eating disorder. They are deadly and they kill. It’s not something to aspire to.
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I have my psychiatrist appointment next week and I really really really hope that it’s the appointment where she realises she has no justification for my BPD diagnosis and removes it 🤞🏼
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Despite the challenges of this year I’ve managed 2 years psych ward free, 2 years self harm free, 2 years overdose free and nearly 2 years laxative abuse free 🥺 I did it 🥺
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#edexcelpsychology
isn't a test of knowledge, it's a test of who can write fast enough in the lack of time available 🙃
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If you told the girl sat on a psychiatric ward a year ago that she would be a year self-harm free she would have laughed and told you it was never going to happen. To Anna a year ago - you did it girl! One whole year without self-harming and I am beyond happy and proud!!!
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4) atypical anorexia and atypical bulimia are not ‘less severe’ than anorexia and bulimia - they are just as serious and need to be treated as such!
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(This isn’t me saying I want hospital or even felt like it was necessary, but leaving someone with no support & telling them to kill themselves is never an appropriate response from a mental health team.)
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services are so quick to dish out a diagnosis of personality disorder yet 99% of people, including those professionals, display signs of one when they’re upset yet we don’t label everyone as having one 🙄
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5) eating disorders can affect people of any age, gender, race, background - they do not discriminate.
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Today I’ve let my GP weigh me, agreed to be referred back to the Eating Disorders team and decided to make the start of Eating Disorders Awareness Week the day I start recovery properly, for the final time - Anorexia Nervosa - it’s time to say goodbye 💪🏼
#EDAW2018
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Is there anything
@CarrieHFletcher
can’t do?! Bloody amazing performance AND tonsillitis. When I’m ill I don’t leave my bed, let alone think about singing 😱😍
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If all you have done this year is survive then know this: I am proud of you.
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I am at the highest weight I have ever been. But I am also the happiest I have been. Recovery from anorexia has bought me so much more than weight gain - it has given me life. So no, I don’t think the plan will make me healthier - I actually think it will do more harm than good!
Do you struggle with your weight?
Do you think the government's new plan will help you to become healthier?
Get in touch with us:
📩Email: haveyoursay
@bbc
.co.uk
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@BBC_HaveYourSay
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It’s been 2yrs since I woke up with defib pads on my chest & was told that my heart was struggling so much because of the strain anorexia was putting on me. 2yrs since they did CPR at 2am to bring my back. Anorexia isn’t glamorous, or someone gently crying over food. They kill.
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@chronicnotebook
And most physical health specialists don’t want to hear about the mental struggles… it’s always someone else’s problem to deal with and that sucks and needs to change!!
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If anyone wants me to edit menus for them before they eat out let me know and I’ll send you a photoshopped version with no calories on it - just let me know where you’re going and when you need it for and I’ll do my best 💜
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I feel absolutely sick. Aoifa you deserved better. So much better. I’m so sorry that the system that’s supposed to help people failed you so badly.
When people reach out for help they shouldn’t be told they’re being ‘drastic’ or turned away. Something needs to change & soon 😔
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Hope wrote in her diary whilst inpatient ‘I want to have children so badly, and am constantly battling with myself on whether the exercise is worth it… I need to get well - I want someone to love me, and someone to love’ 🥹 congratulations Hope, you are flipping amazing 🥳💜
Aware I have been a bit quiet on here recently …. But we have some rather exciting very early news to share!
… I still can’t quite believe he is here. .. but please meet our little boy, born June 2nd 2022 at 7.52am … name still TBC 🙈
(Thread 🧵 below)
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All I want for Christmas is a mental health system that listens to patients, provides adequate and consistent support, that doesn’t fob people off or gaslight them and doesn’t add to trauma or cause iatrogenic harm.
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@Shrink_at_Large
Benefits officers issuing sick notes is no better than receptionists gatekeeping GP appointments and telling you that you don’t need to see someone - in other words, utterly useless.
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I left the priory as a staff member due to the shocking lack of care and blatant disregard for patient safety. I couldn’t stay there knowing that they would continue to go against everything that caused me to sign my contract with them in the first place.
I have only just found out that Beth’s was the third death in two months at
@PrioryGroup
#Cheadle
- surely this has to trigger a CQC inspection and get the place shut down.
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@alirobson97
IAPT won’t work with C-PTSD as apparently we need more support than they can offer… shame CMHT also refuse to do anything within a timely manner and have contributed so much to the trauma that most of us won’t touch them with a barge pole 🫡🫠
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News flash: ambulatory wheelchair users exist and the statement ‘why do you need a wheelchair when you can walk’ is as ridiculous as saying ‘why are you sat on the sofa when you can stand up?’ Please don’t make people justify themselves to you just because you’ve seen them walk.
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@ItsEmilyKaty
Yep! One of them told me I shouldn’t have been listening. I wasn’t intentionally listening, they were broadcasting private, personal details about their clients to a bus that was at full capacity! There’s a time and a place for supervision, and a busy bus is not that place!
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Until I became unwell I thought grief was something that was exclusively experienced after someone died. I had no clue that it was possible to grieve for my old life, my ‘well’ life. But it is - and that is absolutely ok.
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God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be,
So he put his arms around you and whispered ‘come to me’
A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest
God broke our hearts to prove to us, he only takes the best 💔
You fought so hard and for so long, we know 💜
If I ever lose my battle to depression, know that I fought, know that I tried.
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1yr ago I was fighting to stay out of hospital, 2yrs ago I didn’t meet the weight criteria, 3yrs ago was stuck in a relapse losing weight& 4yrs ago was under CAMHS, not complying. Today I’ve joined the
@AnthonyNolan
register hopefully able to one day save a life!
#anorexiarecovery
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And to the nurse who is somehow still practicing, had no disciplinary action taken against them all I have to say is this:
Fuck you. I hope I was a ‘one-off’, a ‘bad decision’, a lone case. And I hope you feel remorse for your actions. It’s not ok & will never be ok.
#ItsNotOk
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Sister Julienne is an absolute babe 😭 I don't think I've ever cried so much in one episode of
#CallTheMidwife
😔
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It’s always awkward when you nearly get hit by a car because you’re not properly paying attention. Even more awkward when you’re walking out of the CMHT grounds and the car is being driven by the consultant psychiatrist 🙃
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500 days ago I took my last laxatives... an addiction that ruined my digestive system & would have got me in debt if I’d carried on. At my worst I was taking 200 a day & couldn’t move from the bathroom. Eating disorders are hell & ruin lives. One step closer to recovery!
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I had my scan, didn’t cry, the staff were lovely AND they don’t believe it’s cancer 🥳 Best Christmas present ever 🥺
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Little throwback to three years ago when liaison psych came to see me in A&E even though I’d said I didn’t want to speak to them. I answered every question with ‘no comment’ and then when they asked me if I had any questions for them I replied with ‘is Santa real?’ 🤷🏼♀️😅
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@abbjdesmond
I once came across a video of myself on a local Facebook group - a video of me surrounded by police and paramedics after just being put on a S136. It was the most humiliating thing ever - totally agree that there needs to be a legal framework in place!!
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@aoifarecovers
I’m so fucking sorry. So, so sorry that the system failed you, that you weren’t given the help and support you needed, so so sorry 😔😔😔
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@OpenMindMH
Paperchase have been doomed ever since it was found out that they haven’t been paying small business owners for their products 🥲 some have given them tens of thousands of pounds worth of products and been waiting for payment for years now 🤯
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Just a note to all professionals. My name is not:
- Bed 4
- Bedroom 17
- Her
- Patient number 123456
- NHS number 123-456-7891
I have an actual name and I’d appreciate it if people would use it.
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I think I don't give myself enough credit for how far I've come, so here goes - I've come a long way & hell am I proud 💪🏼
#TalkingToAnorexia
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(TW - eating disorders) I have spent the last month sectioned because of Anorexia Nervosa. I have spent much of the last month with an ng tube. Today I found out that I won't get any support from the eating disorder services because my 'BMI is too high'
#dumpthescales
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Just a little PSA that it is NEVER ok to look at a photo of someone, look at them & look back at the photo before saying ‘wow, you’ve gained a lot of weight’. Never, ever, never - especially when you know they have a diagnosis of anorexia 🙃
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I'll forever be grateful to every nurse who has been involved in my care! From the nurse who hugged me when I was crying in a&e, to those who take my bloods, to the district nurses who sorted out my catheters for me... to every single one - thank you 💕
It’s
#InternationalNursesDay2019
today
A day to recognise the PHENOMENAL work nurses do across the world
They are the true backbone of any healthcare system
Even when conditions are difficult, the dedication you show to patient care is second to none
@theRCN
@WeNurses
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