Lucy Dimbylow (she/her)
@lucywriter
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Editorial Manager @DementiaUK , Christian, mum of kids/cats, suicide survivor, wild swimmer, bookworm, musical theatre obsessive, veggie. She/her. Views my own.
England
Joined August 2011
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Pinned Tweet
I've waited a few days since the
#Panorama
doc to organise my thoughts. I'm fortunate that in hospital, I never personally experienced the sort of abuse shown in the programme but I think anyone who has been inpatient has been subject to relentless low-level cruelty from staff 1/
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@Luna_moon64
Banning him from wearing his military uniform when he stopped undertaking royal duties was so petty and mean-spirited when he saw ACTUAL SERVICE. He earned the right to wear it!
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@keviclifton
I'm baffled. Would they not watch male doubles tennis because two men are playing together? Or what about rugby, when the whole lot of 'em are in a scrum. These are two strong male dancers performing together - who cares if they're gay, straight, whatever? They are artists.
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Having been in psych wards, it’s unfathomable that Beth, with a long history of suicide attempts - inc one that left her disabled - was allowed to open and ingest an unknown powder in front of staff, just because she told them it was protein powder.
1/
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I would never normally post a pic like this, but what the heck! Happy New Year everyone.
#wildswimming
#newyearswim
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TW
.
.
.
.
A woman is missing locally in the place I went to die. Her car has been found where I left mine, and the police are searching. It’s really shaken me up. I feel sick and can’t stop checking for updates. Someone got to me in time - I really hope they get to her, too.
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6
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Heartbroken to hear of the loss of another beautiful soul whose pain was too much for this world.
@BethMatthewsz
you encouraged me with your determination and kindness. That will live on. Praying that you’re no longer in the physical and mental pain that you bore for so long.
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Holiday
@JortsTheCat
merch from Croatia. You can’t come back from vacation without a souvenir.
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I have only just found out that Beth’s was the third death in two months at
@PrioryGroup
#Cheadle
- surely this has to trigger a CQC inspection and get the place shut down.
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Yet another bright light extinguished, and yet again, a death that could have been prevented had she received the compassionate support she needed. This is what happens for people with a PD dx who reach out, like we’re always told to. Rest well, Aoifa. I’m so sorry.
trigger warning, suicide
crisis team: it’s a bit drastic to kill yourself isn’t it?
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@BethMatthewsz
Oh Beth. Darling girl. I am so, so sorry there was no way out of the horrific pit you were in. You brought so much to so many. Be at peace now, sweetheart.
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I wrote this in response to
@BPSOfficial
#UnderstandingDepression
report which trivialises
#depression
, gaslights sufferers and suggests that it's not even an illness. This sort of thing HAS to stop.
@RITB_
@MadCovid
#MentalHealth
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@matthaig1
I have Jesus in my heart and still have mental illness. Jesus never promised anyone a life free from sickness.
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It’s taken four months of work, and seven since the plans were drawn up, but our beautiful loft conversion is finally complete.
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@DrAdrianJames
If the ad is reworded but the course content stays the same, there is still a massive problem. How will
@rcpsych
ensure the course isn’t an opportunity to discriminate against pts with this ‘diagnosis’? Will it allow its member/s to proceed as planned? Does the college even care?
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@RealCpr1234
@VirtualAstro
Absolutely awesome. I saw a shooting star too. Any ideas what was running parallel?
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For Rachel, Beth, Zoe, Aoife, Lauren, Nick and all of the other beautiful broken souls who should still be here. We will never forget you.
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I can already predict that the outcome of her inquest will be ‘lessons will be learnt’ with no accountability. Thinking of brave, beautiful, warm and compassionate Beth, and her family and Matt left behind. This was all preventable. /3
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[TW SH]
Today, while clearing my bedroom ready for a reshuffle, I got rid of a big bag of dressings, swabs, saline etc: my SH 'repair kit,' if you like. For the first time in years, I have no regrets about letting it go, and feel genuinely confident that I won't need it again.
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TW
Suicide. It’s called suicide. A great example of MH services absolving themselves of responsibility by framing attempted suicide as ‘oops, you didn’t mean to do that, did you?’ rather than ‘you’re ill and want to die.’
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@CaraLisette
It’s easy to forget how normalised it was. Our PE teacher in the mid-90s lined us up and told us that if we could ‘pinch an inch’ we were too fat. I *am* fat now but wasn’t then and still compare my body with other women’s every single day.
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TW
Today, Beth’s inquest heard that before her death, a care worker asked her if she had bought ‘something risky’. Beth replied, “It’s already done” and then, “I’ve said too much.” The ward dr said she was not aware of this but should have been told /1
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Thinking of beautiful
@BethMatthewsz
today as she’s laid to rest - the rest that she so desperately needed.
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Am I allowed to say (while totally respecting the need and totally acknowledging that others are going through far worse) that I’m utterly miserable about tiers and Christmas and just everything?
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TW
Beth’s inquest continues. It’s revealed that before her death, she told staff, “There are things you can buy to do the job” (suicide) and when questioned, said, “It’s already done now.” She told them she’d ordered sthg to kill herself but was still allowed to open her own post
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I've never felt more humiliated, degraded and gaslit than in hospital - a supposed place of safety. I live in fear of being readmitted.
Whether through words or actions, abuse is endemic in psych hospitals - and despite Panorama, nothing will change.
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@xxxprisha
@Sonic_Screwup
The comment that got me was along the lines of ‘very sad but get these fame whores out of the spotlight.’ What??? Famous or not, they have every right to grieve in whatever way works for them.
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Why was she allowed to open her post in the first place? Why did staff take her at her word, knowing from experience the lengths she’d go to to end her life? The only consolation is that she’s no longer in physical or mental pain, but the negligence is staggering. 2/
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TW
Today’s medical records gem. I took a taxi alone to A&E so we didn’t have to wake our kids & take them with us. I didn’t realise that because I didn’t throw myself out of the cab on the M1 (which may have been slightly traumatic for the driver), I wasn’t actually suicidal...
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Private treatment on the NHS sounds appealing but in the case of psych hospitals it's a poisoned chalice - farming people out to poorly regulated, often unsafe units where risk escalates. People who expect to heal become more unwell - and too many die.
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On
#WorldSuicidePreventionDay2020
can we talk not just about reaching out, but also about how unethical it is for MH professionals to discharge people from hospital while suicidal and tell us to take responsibility for deciding whether to kill ourselves?
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This is what happens when your human leaves the room and you help yourself to her sweet chilli rice crackers. Actually made me cackle.
#CatsofTwittter
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I haven't yet watched the new Stacey Dooley psych ward doc, but I'm increasingly uncomfortable with the wave of programmes about people with mental illness, eg Ch4
#LosingIt
. Are we crossing a line from raising awareness to 'staring at the lunatics' as in the old days of Bedlam?
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Finally finished - my 2022 stitch journal. I am NOT doing that again!
#embroidery
#embroideryart
#embroideryjournal
#stitchjournal
#stitchersofinstagram
#stitching
#handmade
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@ChrisElston1912
@Luna_moon64
Thank you for explaining politely. I didn’t know this and I’m glad that I do now, and that you were gracious enough to explain that without being rude.
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Tomorrow, I’m joining
@DementiaUK
as Editorial Manager - a really exciting new challenge after 15 years as a freelancer. Very much looking forward to getting stuck in.
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@lucymh44
I had a panic attack in hospital in the same circumstances. The nurse literally shrugged and walked away. Thankfully my husband was with me and got me Lucozade and lorazepam from the car. There’s so little compassion for MH patients. I’m so sorry you went through that.
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@TraumaPhDandMe
Oh sweetheart. I’m so so shocked, angry and sad. You were loved and valued and I’m so sorry you were failed when you tried so hard.
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Zoe was someone I was delighted to know. We talked about cross stitch, violin playing and pets as well as our mental health, our suicide attempts, the frightening reality of ITU. She was always kind, understanding, insightful. She was my friend. She should not be dead.
Tomorrow is the funeral of Zoe Zaremba (
@AutismMH
). Zoe was a lovely, kind and friendly woman. She needed help and she didn't get the help that she deserved; she was abused by mental health services. She took her life at the age of 25. I am still very heartbroken and very upset.
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A month ago, I was newly home from hospital and could barely leave the house. Today, I stood up and read the eulogy at my grandma's funeral. Proud of myself for doing it; thankful for how far things have come since the living hell that was the first half of 2019.
#mentalhealth
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@matthaig1
Wise words indeed. 8 weeks ago I tried to end my life. This weekend I met a friend for cocktails, went to a fab festival with family and great friends, and had a lovely afternoon at church fun day. 2 months ago, I saw no hope. Today, I’m glad the NHS saved me. Glad to be alive.
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@Peston
Really hope there will also be accommodations for Yrs 10 and 12 who are missing a huge chunk of schooling during exam syllabus years. I guess we might find out in May 2022.
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Hey hey, everyone. Did you miss me? I got myself banned for tweeting that my Covid jab had given me f.i.v.e.g.e.e. powers. Oops. Twitter doesn't have a sense of humour.
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Mental health competitiveness sucks. Are there any other medical issues where this plays out? 'My cancer is worse than yours.' 'I'm more diabetic than you.' I don't know for sure, but I suspect not. /1
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@claracluck
@noodles_nood
You should be ashamed of yourself as a medic, a nurse but mostly as a human being.
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My diary tells me that it’s two years today since I last self-harmed/needed hospital treatment. I never thought I’d get to a place where my madness is so well controlled, but two years. TWO YEARS! Celebrating with hot tub and wine.
#MadTwitter
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A little project
@fortitude321
and I are working on this year: an embroidery with a new picture/word every day. January done - definite room for improvement!
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@ahmedhankir
Thankfully not true for me. This book is stuffed with cards and letters from people who’ve loved and cared about me throughout my periods of illness. I’m very blessed to have so many people in my corner.
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I would like it to be known that not one but TWO of my anti-mad meds have been dispensed as shield pills this week so now I am invincible.
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Cheers, m’dears. Think I’ve earned this after three days defending *my own experience of depression* on Twitter. No regrets, though, and so much love to those who’ve stood with me.
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'On very rare occasions, you will find patients ring their crisis team and their crisis team will come and see them, but pigs might fly:' paramedic on BBC
#Ambulance
. Ain't that the truth.
#mentalhealth
#crisisteamfail
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@RelapseRover
Oh my. ‘You have capacity’ is one thing, but this? Mind you, I’m not sure why I’m surprised when this was written in my notes while I was in hospital receiving treatment for a suicide attempt.
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#May2020
in A&E - alone - in a mental health crisis following the closure of the day hospital I’d been in, and the enforced separation from the support network that has so often pulled me through. Glad Boris and his mates were enjoying themselves, though.
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8
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@eades_claire
@Nurseborisbash
Or she was just 96 - and still working. I don't suppose a cause of death will ever be disclosed, but she was a very elderly woman using up huge stores of energy with every engagement.
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And there it is. I'll probably be discharged from the CMHT to GP care at my next appointment. Psych specifically said it's because of increasing numbers of Covid-related MH patients. So they bump the long-term pts to keep the waiting list stats down for new referrals.
@MadCovid
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and I saw many other people experiencing much more overt verbal and physical aggression than I was ever subjected to. But it's all part of a picture of ward staff abusing their power over patients and positioning us as attention seekers/troublemakers/time wasters.
7/
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Some of the things I experienced during several admissions:
- Staff intentionally waiting till I was on leave to search my room behind my back
- Being denied pain relief for broken ribs
- Collapsing during a panic attack and being told I was 'making a scene'
2/
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@ChloeSApter
@itsmyamygdala
The unit I've been in has ART INSTALLATIONS in all the public areas, then you go through the secure doors and... yeah. Smoke and mirrors.
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@ItsEmilyKaty
I told the crisis team exactly when, where and how I was going to take my life - and they discharged me there and then. I followed through and survived by the skin of my teeth. There is literally no point in ‘reaching out’ when you’re under psych services. They just don’t care.
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I was accommodated 3 miles from home for all my
#mentalhealth
inpatient stays. My husband, children and friends could visit every day; that kept me going. I can't imagine how distressing it must be to be miles from loved ones at such a vulnerable time.
#DistancetoBeds
@rcpsych
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@matthaig1
'It must have been nice to have a break' - after discharge from a psych unit.
'Have you repented?' - by a member of clergy in hospital after I'd attempted suicide.
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- Standing outside the office for hours a day because staff were 'too busy' to answer the door
- My bedroom heating being stuck on in the height of summer and being told there was 'nothing they could do'
etc etc
These are NOTHING compared to what was shown on Panorama
6/
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@we_are_nina
It’s devastating to be told your personality - the very essence of you - is disordered and defective.
@AutismMH
was not an attention seeker. She was warm, kind, intelligent, insightful and irreparably damaged by the PD label. She should have been helped, not harmed.
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This is one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. What a clever baby.
Not a single drop of water is getting past that bad boy.
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- Visitors being turned away without my knowledge
- Being left to clean and dress my own SH wounds as 'a consequence'
- My laundry being stuck in a broken washing machine for four days with no one even attempting to help
5/
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It also heard that staff had been told that everything Beth received by post should be checked and she should not be allowed to open it herself. This was not documented in her notes. It’s a catalogue of failure after failure. /2
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- Returning from leave and being searched to the extent that I was told to shake out my bra in full view of the ward
- Being breathalysed in the same room
- My phone deliberately not being charged so I couldn't communicate with husband/kids
3/
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@DrEmmaNash
If only. In our area you can't even speak to the crisis team without a referral from GP/A&E/CMHT and when you do, they tell you to have a bath and a cup of tea and take responsibility.
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I can buy myself flowers (when they’re reduced to 60p a bunch in Co-op).
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TW
#bethmatthewsinquest
Today the court heard the circumstances in which Beth was able to ingest the toxic substance she ordered. Once again, it’s evident that her death could have been prevented if a) the RMN who Beth told about her intentions to buy something lethal had /1
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TW S/H suicide
More hospital notes. How is “Overweight 40 yr old Caucasian woman” relevant to what is described as a MENTAL STATE examination?
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My self-isolation buddy. Glad of her loyalty but would prefer her to position herself the other way round.
#CatsOfTwitter
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- Having to wait hours & hours for meds
- Vital blood tests to check meds levels not happening
- Being given PRN meds and then castigated for 'seeking benzos'
- Being given meat sausages (I'm vegetarian) and told they were veggie
- Being told that I was sabotaging my recovery
4/
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I did a 7000-step walk AND took the 9yo with me AND she didn’t moan. How many points do I get please?
#GetTheFckOutside
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Hey guys, it’s past midnight on 18 Feb. Ten years ago, labour started v quickly and my daughter was born at home (unplanned) at 0822. This is the first year for some time that she’s had a well mother for her birthday. Thanks be to God for Katie and for my fairly sound mind.
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Cassie has flirted so much with our builders that they gave her a free catflap 😂😂😂
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@WillReidWeb
I particularly object to MH teams flagging Samaritans in crisis situations when MH teams should be providing that support themselves, not sending desperate people elsewhere. In the past my husband has tried/failed for hours to speak to the OOH helpline for me. That is not okay.
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When you try to take a nice photo of your child and they stick their tongue out.
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Here’s my
#homebake
for
#GBBO
#ExtraSlice
- a bedroom full
@of
cats. All good, apart from the cats (ordered online) turned out not to have been neutered.
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I am no longer a freelancer! Evenings and weekends are mine! I can go on holiday without taking work with me! The past four months of combining employment and self-employment have been exhausting - it’s such a relief to finally put the freelancing to bed. Cheers!
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Spoke to care co who confirms, in her words, that lots of new 'low level referrals' are coming into the CMHT hence long-term patients are being discharged. It's good that they're getting support, but that doesn't correlate with long-term mentals needing less, does it?
#MadTwitter
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Tempted to spend the rest of December like this. Who’s in?
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