Somto
@somto_Ihezue
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In: Tor |F&SF| Podcastle| Strange Horizons| BFA shortlist| @BSFA longlist| MFA, @UofMaryland | TinHouse ‘24| Clarion West ‘24| @sfwa . Filmmaker| Rep: @CRSRipley
Seattle, WA
Joined April 2014
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When I was 7, my mum took me to a new school without prior notice, and I was admitted on the spot. My best friend from my old school snuck into the new school to find me, and I pretended like I didn't know him. He left heartbroken, and I never saw him again. Daniel, I'm so sorry.
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I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.
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Turns out he left our old school, and got enrolled in the same new school so we’d be class mates again, but by then my mum had already shipped me off to boarding school😭
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Forever grateful to my sister for rebelling first. Studying Fine Arts instead of Engineering, going into modeling & pageantry—almost drove our father mad, lol—and going ahead to represent Nigeria at both Miss World & Miss Universe. Because she did, I believed I could too.
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Wait, how am I the only villain in this story?? What of my mother???
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Not exactly sure why I did this. Can't tell if it was the non-confrontational me, or the introverted me, or the sad me.
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In another life, we’d have run away together, and drink fanta everyday, and slide down all the steep erosion gullies we want. And we’d be primless, unkempt, and infinite✨
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I remember we used to go sliding down a massive erosion site in our neighborhood, and our white uniforms would turn super brown with dirt. It was the most dangerous thing, but we did it anyway😅
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I remember once in English class, we were told to write an essay about our best friend, and we wrote about each other🥺
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A dating app where you must stop others from finding their soulmates, making sure they're as perpetually single as you, Hinder.
A dating app for people who complain about the dating pool, Grumble.
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Funny that the erosion site was one of the major reasons my mom removed me from the old school, and it was Daniel who had introduced me to it. She wanted a prim and proper school that didn't let kids slide down muddy gullies.
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I never partied in University. And I still failed tremendously.
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Everyone, Daniel😄
Somto ihezue!!
My brother had woken me up to check my Facebook DM and it was a pleasant surprise.
This was the best friendship of my entire life. I have been searching for you on Facebook all these years.
I remember this day. What gave me the mind?😂.
You were just confused my G
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I guess we're going to Maryland on a Fully Funded track this fall✨
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I was having a conversation with another writer, and they just randomly said, “I’m really grateful for older writers like you.”
I'm 26.
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In other news, my script is being made into a film!!! This is my first screenplay. I'm still in shock🥺
Got into a film academy to study screenwriting. Next stop, an Emmy. Witness me!!!
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Still looking for the adulthood exit button😪
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Thank you all for being a part of our little reunion. Glad that this story got to touch so many people🥺❤️
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You just know my sister is the favorite child ‘cause why are there FIVE different portraits of her in my parent's living room, and not a single one for the rest of us😭. For the record, my parents have five children.
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Me: [Writes for 2 hours straight]
Checks word count. 31 words.
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I once got fired from a workplace because I didn't let the manager eat from my lunch. He always went around eating from everyone’s lunch, so one day, I quickly gobbled up all my food before he got to me. He gave me a long, angry stare. I was fired the following week.
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That's my sister🥺❤️
My name is Ugochi Mitchel Ihezue, the first Miss Universe Nigeria, and I will be representing Nigeria on the global stage at the Miss Universe Pageant in El Salvador. Do come on this journey with me💙
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Got into a film academy to study screenwriting. Next stop, an Emmy. Witness me!!!
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Because you’re a writer doesn’t automatically make you intelligent.
— My mother, during an argument.
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My sister and I just got to this birthday party, one we were initially told was a “White Themed Party”. So can someone please explain why we are the only ones in white here??? My poor sister looks like a bride, and I look like a pretentious ghost😩
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Also, I’m a speculative fiction writer, and you can read my work here👇🏽
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My mother now casually inserts “as a feminist” when talking about herself.
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Got an acceptance!!! And from a dream venue—one of the very first spec fiction magazines I came across as a teenager🥺
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All these stories about people's body parts being stolen in markets, I've never heard that they stole someone’s belly fat.
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This is my sister y’all🥺❤️
Nothing much, just glowing and sparkling like we Nigerians do! 😍✨🇳🇬
#UgochiTakesTheUniverse2023
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My mother strikes again. I can't continue like this.
Me: I’m sad.
My mum: Gaslight yourself into feeling better.
My mum to me: How did you gaslight yourself into being a writer??
This is what I get. I’m done.
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I just stuck my head out of the bus window and an agbero kissed me.
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Any profession would suffice.
I genuinely believe 90% of my problems would be solved if I kissed another writer.
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I wrote a thing, and we got selected to screen at the African International Film Festival. Witness Us!!!
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The person who sat beside me on the plane woke me up because I was snoring.
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I want to write a novel. Then hang out with another debut novelist. Then we’ll hold hands ‘cause we’re novel buddies. I can't explain why, but the thought of this makes me so happy😭
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So, I signed a thing, and I guess I have an Agent now🫣🥺
Formal announcement coming soon!!!✨
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My mum to me: How did you gaslight yourself into being a writer??
This is what I get. I’m done.
Taught my mum the meaning of gaslight and she won't stopping using it. She just told me she gaslighted her co-workers into doing their job. Ma'am that's not how you use it🤦🏽♂️
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Sci-fi: Yam in space
Fantasy: Possessed yam.
What exactly is the difference between sci-fi and fantasy anyways?
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Being a writer is being a website developer, a social media manager, a content creator, an editor, a publisher, a comedian, and broke.
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The Writer // The Writing.
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Sister💛
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Written and directed by Adim Williams, who also happens to be… my uncle.
'you can't just take laws into your hands'
patience: so it is right for the men to take those laws & put them into their pockets?
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Just got an acceptance from
@poetrymagazine
and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it!!!
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The first time I told my mother I wanted to be a writer, she said I was going to starve to death and no one would want to marry me. She wasn't entirely wrong, but it still hurts.
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Throwback to when my cousin denounced Christianity, quit his job as a lab scientist, and then became a Dibia—which got him ostracized by our entire kindred. A serve.
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Saying trans people and trans-inclusive language are invalidating your experiences in a country like Nigeria that criminalizes queerness & gender nonconformity… is just cruel. You're worried about some non-existent inclusive language? Trans people are worried about being killed.
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Contract signed. Excited to announce that my story, “A Girl is Blood, Spirit, and Fire” will be published in
@PodCastle_org
next year. This story was also shortlisted for the 2022
@afritondo
short story prize.
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Personally, the experience of buying and having a book is what makes me happy. Reading it is optional.
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Bio update. Super psyched to be taking on the new role of Original Fiction Manager over at
@EAPodcasts
!!!
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Told my father and he said he has never seen me write anything😩😭
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I don't think chameleons are very good at being the masters of camouflage. For one, we know they exist. It's quite disappointing.
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I got it🥺
Had an interview the other day. The other applicants would have to perform real bad in order for me to get the position😭
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Writing is a lot. Sometimes I will plagiarize myself. Fight me.
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When I try applying for roles as a content writer and they ask for publication samples, and I remember the only stories I've published are about witchcraft and evil spirits😭
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Kinda got an acceptance for a story I co-authored with... my grandmother🥺
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Ahhhhhh!!!! I made the shortlist for The British Fantasy (Sydney J. Bounds) Best Newcomer Award. Thanks to the folks who published me, the kind people who nominated, and the jury who deemed me worthy. I am beyond honoured✨
We are delighted to announce the shortlists for this year’s British Fantasy Awards! Many congratulations to all of the nominees!
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I am now represented by Christopher Schelling
@CRSRipley
at Selectric Artists🛡️
Thank you for believing in my writing, for the warm emails, and for randomly finding me via a silly tweet! Looking forward to doing this with you✨
So, I signed a thing, and I guess I have an Agent now🫣🥺
Formal announcement coming soon!!!✨
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This picture choice is deliberate and insidious.
Tunde Onakoya: Nigerian attempts to break chess marathon record
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