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@roey_ro
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muppet physics. think ‘Super Grover’
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man I’m not even kidding it’s the shit like this that really keeps me going fr
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dream blunt rotation
US Military Faces Biggest Recruiting Hurdles in 50 Years.
During the last fiscal year, the Army missed its recruiting goal by 15,000 active-duty soldiers. That makes 25% of its target. This shortfall forced the Army to cut its planned active-duty end strength from 476,000 to
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@wolktress
reminds me of this time on the train where a woman begging for money said she was raped by her dad and this fat gay guy on the train said “bitch who wasn’t? figure your shit out” and then everyone in the train car was like OOHHHHHHH
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Nightmare blunt rotation
I spent my weekend reading
@DanBilzerian
's autobiography
I learned more about marketing than from any bullshit college class
Here's 4 marketing tactics from the king of Instagram Dan Bilzerian:
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this guy is a complete goon. somebody ought to smack some sense into him
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NYC JULY 16
@tommybayertime
@Braingetter
@BRANDONWARDELL
@hanfjob
@bamfartgera
@kpvwxyz
AT THE STAND COMEDY CLUB IN THE MAIN ROOM.
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me on 6 full grams of cocaine performing stand up comedy to a room of chipmunks
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dudes will just bust while taking shrooms one time and become an esoteric shaman
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the Jews in Williamsburg built those tunnels to build a Scrooge McDuck style pile of gold underground
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When you blow your nose you can actually read your boogies like tea leaves. Prophecy
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the perfect wife
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there are secret Jew tunnels in Brooklyn and I wasn’t invited 😔
JUST IN: Chaos breaks out in New York City after underground tunnels were discovered under the Chabad Lubavitch World Headquarters in Brooklyn.
The incident below reportedly took place to prevent a cement truck from filling the tunnels.
According to the Crown Heights Info, the
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My Twitter isn’t about the 39 people who follow me. It’s a time capsule for scholars in the future to examine and debate.
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they’re bringing Jon Stewart back bc he’s the only dem funny enough to go toe to toe w Trump. he’s the only knight who can slay the dragon. he’s the Jew in shining armor
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yo I just met chris hansen (at the park not because I did anything wrong)
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i love stand up comedy so much i am so happy that I devoted my life to this
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never thought I would care about this relationship but turns out it might be a slow burner 👀 this is getting pretty interesting
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this is gonna go so hard. can’t wait to play as Peter Griffin to watch my favorite comedian Trevor Noah with my friends Naruto and Travis Scott in my favorite game, Fortnite!
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sneaking a bucket of KFC into the zoo and befriending all of the animals :)
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this year is gonna be all about listening to Naruto battle music at the gym
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I’ve been pounding cigarettes to create a tar force field around my lungs to protect them from the smoke
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so glad that they got John Legend for the state propaganda section of the Grammy’s this year
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moses: yo I met god he gave me these rules
israelites worshipping cow: nah bro u cappin we gonna keep praying to this cow made of gold
moses: dude im telling u he literally told me his name
israelites worshipping cow: no way
moses: Yahweh
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I didn’t win but I still got 18 kills I am on a whole other level we do not see eye to eye
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What if Mecca was mecha and every Muslim guy combined to become a giant robot and defeat Israel
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roast battle shenanigans
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NONE OF THESE JOKES ARE REAL THEY WERE TOLD IN THE SANCTITY OF BROTHERHOOD AND FRIENDSHIP
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