Aidan McCluskey
@aidsman109
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Comedian at Acme Comedy Co.
Minneapolis, MN
Joined June 2014
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Yooo I met Artie Lange at the south side kwik trip 🤯
Never know who you’re going to see
@KwikTrip
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Guy fixing our AC is listening to
Picture by Kid Rock in our basement.
He’s singing the Kid Rock parts and I’m singing the Sheryl Crow parts upstairs
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Made the classic “fentanyl and razors” mix up on the candy bowl again this year🤦🏼♂️
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Found $20 in an old pair of jeans today.
Love abounds, much to be grateful for
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Headlining my first club in Minneapolis, please come out. I get paid based on ticket sales. Please
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Thinking about how I used to fast pitch peoples’ subs at their door if they didn’t tip me when I worked at jimmy john’s during the pandemic
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I spent some time wandering around the woods yesterday. Eventually, I reached a clearing the clouds parted, and the sun shone brightly upon me.
God spoke, "Aidan, start a blog."
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She looks like the hot girl in a small town bar with 3 kids named like Brycen, Braxton and Aubrynn
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I hate being high around kids.
It’s 11:45 on a Monday, don’t you have school?
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Told a room full of people about the time I tried to shit in a jug
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I don’t need you to love me forever, I just need you to love me long enough that divorcing me would become such a massive financial, and time consuming inconvenience that you just decide you can tolerate me for the last 20 years of our lives.
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Meteorologists are liars and frauds.
I’m not afraid to drive today
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‘I can’t take an eighth of shrooms before the timber wolves game tonight’
Then I remember I don’t have a job
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You’re not from wisconsin if you haven’t seen Brett Favre’s dick pic
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Best news I’ve heard in a long time
Philip Morris to open $600M plant in Colorado to meet surging demand for Zyn nicotine pouches
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#tbt
2 years ago today I smoked a blunt with my 19 year old boss in the back of a 100° moving truck then drank a quart of warm chocolate milk and threw up all over the halls of an old hospital.
We stole a lot of medical equipment that day.
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This is how all headlines should be written
Russian President Vladimir Putin fell down stairs and sh*t himself amid health woes‼️😳
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There’s no way to ask a yo-yo champion to ‘do some tricks’ without sounding like a bully
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With gas prices rising, my heart goes out to the Hummer community
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Hate how my therapist asks how I’m doing, like I didn’t just cry to matchbox twenty on my way there.
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If you think you’re having a bad day, I had to deliver Meals on Wheels for an hour with an exploded smoothie all over my car.
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Can’t see your shadow when you’re 6ft under😈🤫
Canadian groundhog Fred la Marmotte found dead just before winter prediction
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Took mushrooms and figured out the meaning of life last night.
Smoked weed and forgot it all this morning.
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Doin this show tn
Come thru
I’m back from my trip to Africa. My bags never arrived. Funny moms is tonight in Brooklyn: 325 Franklin Ave 8pm
@cmoneverybodybk
TICKETS HERE:
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Crazy what you can accomplish when a hot bitch believes in you
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Closest men get to talking about their emotions is just talking about songs that have made us cry
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THIS IS MY PRESIDENT
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Retrying twitter again.
This time I promise to treat it as if it were my child.
Care a lot in the beginning, but forget about it, ultimately neglecting it again.
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I’ll be opening for Shawn in a few weeks, come out and say hello
please for the love of everything that is holy come to the comedy shows if you can - they're comin up in
San Diego wed August 14
Tacoma Fri and sat August 16/17
Spokane sun August 18
tickets link
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Always a good sign when the conversation turns to discussing “the algorithm”
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Just watched this at a McDonald’s on Hollywood blvd. while “Can’t Help Falling in Love” played overhead
Footage filmed on a cell phone shows Saddam Hussein moments before his execution in 2006.
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This sign makes it sound like a Boston townie just got released from prison
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One of the many men tomorrow!
Ladies Night @ terminal bar, 7pm.
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Fuck, I wish I was there
Brawl breaks out at Eagles concert during iconic song 'Take It Easy'
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Seeing a fat Greek man dripping in sweat run to catch the train lugging a full sized suit case made this whole NYC trip worth it
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Booked on a private show this weekend.
I like the idea that seeing a person who drank his coffee out of Tupperware this morning because there’s no clean cups is exclusive.
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Tinder’s like “oops, you missed a person you initially found unattractive, get tinder gold to rethink that decision when you’re lonely.”
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Miss those days
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I don’t need therapy, just an ounce of weed every couple weeks
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I have to go to my coworker’s rap show tomorrow in order to pick up my paycheck this week.
Awesome🤙🏼
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