Me, age 15, goth: i want to die
Me, age 40, driving by packed brunch place with a ton of people without masks: shit i was such a poser these people the real deal
why does everyone want to own the libs
as an open source developer i own multiple libs
i would happily pay people to take them from me
you do not want to own libs. its so much work
@kane
My first internship at MS, I got put as qa on photodraw. The job was literally going to be “make a square and rotate it” all fucking summer
The product was canned on day 2 of my internship.
I spent the next 2 weeks touring the table tennis tables and arcade machines of campus.
Ok since people are wondering, here’s what the inside of the arcade looks like (it’s in capitola, ca, right outside of Santa Cruz)
Sorry to disappoint everyone who was convinced it was simply a painted-on facade.
Dear furries:
Why are none of you brave enough to have a fursona of "Multi-headed beast from the Book of Revelations as translated by someone with via sub-par photoshop skills"?
This is not a joke: EVE x Microsoft Excel is happening. Soon you’ll be able to transport in game date directly into Excel. Spreadsheets in space made easy. Crowd is loving this.
#evefanfest
used apple vision pro while pooping and accidentally left virtual desktop window in the bathroom in front of the toilet and couldn't figure out how to get it back without having to physically go back to the bathroom and close the window.
The future is fucking awesome.
whatever you're doing. I don't care what it is
take a moment to put a little deer in it
I don't care if it's a little doodle, a commission, ur working on a billion dollar project, ur building a moonbase,
PUT DEER IN IT. it WILL be better. promise.
Every time I have to write a C++ interview question, it takes 2 hours per question.
- 30 minutes to write the question
- 90 minutes to calm myself down after getting angry about the language itself, the state of software and engineering hiring, and humanity in general.
so there's a furry con this weekend
in the state with the worst covid outbreak
and the theme is a cruise ship
i guess we've just given up on subtlety on this timeline huh
The more you deal with bluetooth LE, the more you realize no one involved in the protocol or product design process thought about 20 people having 20 of the same bluetooth dildo in the same room and all needing to connect to only theirs somehow.
@kane
I finally got reassigned as a security/pen tested intern on a hosted version of exchange.
Next summer, was working on a small provisioning service in the middle of My* Services/Hailstorm.
I really managed to hit all of the "long forgotten projects" during my time there.
Ok. Seeing refs to "shareholders" and "api downtime" being the cause for the VRChat Layoffs.
First, READ THE FUCKING EMAIL:
Then, if you're still confused, here's a small 🧵on startups, funding, and this particular situation.
Condolences to everyone who got cut, and to everyone who's going to have to live with the massive morale hit and trust loss this causes internally.
I've got a lot of feelings on this, but those are better expressed outside social media.
I cannot be the only one mad that fursuit dance comps at furry cons aren't referred to as "freestyle heelwork to music" now.
Can't even get their own damn fandom right.
I’VE DONE IT. I’VE CREATED THE FIRST SOCIAL NETWORK FREE OF SOCIAL ISSUES.
You sign up and are assigned a random number as your user name!
There’s no posting function at all!
*17 minutes later*
what the fuck do you mean someone just sold account
#1488
for $150000 on ebay
@mhoye
Starting to think you made this thread so the next time someone else starts a "least plausible story" thread, you have a story of "I made a positive, interesting twitter thread with a very suspicious ratio".
furries: haha we run the internet
also furries: we will cling to furaffinity until our dying breath. may it never change and never advance. it is the ancient alter around which we pray and/or jack off.
Welp, joined someone's clubhouse (PEOPLE STILL USE CLUBHOUSE?!) about dating and sex in the metaverse and landed right in the middle of "blockchain will possibly solve consent" and now I need a new phone because I had to throw mine in the toilet for broadcasting such nonsense.
So
@bokehcat
sent me this last night and I was like "wtf dog dancing do I fucking look like bobby hill to you" and he was all "TURN THE SOUND ON" then I died and I guess since I'm dead but I can still tweet I ended up in hell.
No real surprises here. Except for the dog dancing.
Anyways here's a list of artists I would like to see used for music in dog dancing competitions:
- molchat doma
- merzbow
- squarepusher
- devin townsend (any version)
- biosphere (both dog and human take a nap for 10 min.)
Feel free to add your own options in the thread.
“weekend brunch in the patio”
Shall now be known as
“church of euthanasia Sunday service”
Now with 5 pillars:
suicide • abortion • cannibalism • sodomy • brunch
"We're using SSD as Virtual RAM"
GREAT. YOU DISCOVERED VIRTUAL MEMORY.
TECH HAS STOPPED RECREATING PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION AND IS NOW JUST RECREATING TECH.
HATSUNE MIKU COVER OF HAVE A NICE LIFE'S BLOODHAIL
I REPEAT
HATSUNE MIKU COVER OF HAVE A NICE LIFE'S BLOODHAIL
THIS IS NOT A DRILL
cc
@TheFlenser
@danbarrett316
NEW: The "gay furry" hacker group SiegedSec has released a chat log of its texts with the Heritage Foundation after breaching the organization (excerpt below 👀).
SiegedSec then announced that it would be disbanding.
Here's everything you need to know:
Dear "hacker" that wrote this spam:
My dude, everyone on twitter knows this already and I don't have to pay any of them, so I'm def not paying you.
Also if *you* actually read my twitter you'd know I haven't masturbated "passionately" in years. On a good day it's "halfhearted".
tfw when you think may need to shower because you went in a Lush store for a while and am now not sure if the Lush smell is just in your own nostrils or is emanating from your whole body in glowing glittery rainbow stink lines.
Me: “uh I need one of those ‘drunk octopus that wants to fight’ things for my wall”
Home Depot employee: “you what”
Today I awkwardly learned it’s a double robe hook.
Eagerly awaiting the meme generation growing up enough for products to be renamed.
ok whoever had
“mass extinction due to heat death of planet caused by smart TVs and fridges mining bitcoin after being hacked due to a Java bug originally found in a video game”
on their eschaton bingo card, please make it off now.
Ok listen
I get it
I too enjoy a sexy fox
But why does everyone want to fuck the browser
Like, seriously
I am literally a leading expert in sticking genitalia in technology
I was also a browser engineer for 7+ years
I can tell you
You do not want to combine these things
Beginning Rust: Uh why does the compiler stop me from doing things this is horrible
Advanced Rust: Ugh why doesn't the compiler stop me from doing things this is horrible
tfw 15 year old goth me realizes that 25 years later I'm still making goth and Church of Euthenasia jokes that go vaguely viral.
I ain't lost my edge one bit, buddy.
DIRECTLY. INTO. MY. VEINS. PLEASE.
(h/t
@philiprosedale
@notkavi
'cause it's I can't quote tweet multiple things into the same tweet so it's image time)
This is a special report from ADHD news, where we've just received breaking news that *checks earpiece* *checks notes* *checks earpiece* *checks notes* *checks earpiece* *checks notes* *checks earpiece* *checks notes* *checks earpiece* *checks notes* *checks earpiece* *checks not
Ugh. I will be receiving this article for the foreseeable future, and while I love yelling at people for sending me dumb shit, I have things to do. In an effort to save time, I present
ONE DEGREE OF TRANSLATIONAL FREEDOM DOES NOT A BLOWJOB MAKE
A THREAD
@pixelatedboat
*somewhere deep in
@pixelatedboat
subconscious*
Sure, I’ve sometimes pissed off half the internet, but you know who really loves a good joke?
Radiohead fans.
Hi. I've been working in teledildonics and sex tech for the past 16 years.
AMA
Seriously. Not a joke.
Many of you are bored or scared or both. So, if you're curious about remote intimacy, I'm happy to answer questions, in this thread or in DM.