BREAKING NEWS: ADDITIONAL FOOTAGE FROM ATLANTIC CITY.
After the events that unfolded last night, Stuttering John Melendez has reportedly been kept under close supervision by the Borgata security team.
I’m going to start a new series of images that predict future events or scenarios with alternative outcomes.
Today, the Greenberg Predictive A.I. Generator has created the outcome of a fight between Patrick Melton and John Melendez in Atlantic City.
@stutteringjohnm
@NLO
September 10, 2001: John Melendez was seen walking across the top of the North Tower of the World Trade Center.
His sightings are an omen of impending massive disasters.
BREAKING NEWS: Based on the photo of John Melendez walking, we have learned that John has been photographed before.
John has been photographed walking in the area where a MAJOR DISASTER was soon to occur.
In 1986, John was seen walking near the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant.
The advancements in artificial intelligence are amazing.
A.I. is actually able to predict what Stuttering John is thinking about RIGHT NOW. It turns out that he is imagining a day when he is able to attend the Oscars with his date, Kate Meaney.
BREAKING NEWS: ADDITIONAL FOOTAGE FROM ATLANTIC CITY
Despite the confrontation earlier, John asked Patrick for money to return home (as well as money to eat and pay bills when he got home). Patrick declined, but kindly offered to give John a personal tour of Atlantic City.
I am so sorry to be the one to scoop your story
@TheUncleRicoSho
, but I also have a copy of the pic of John teaching. But, unlike you, I believe that I have an obligation to release it to the world.
I hope that you understand.
Since John exhibits qualities of Eric the Midget, Jeff the Drunk, and Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, I made combination of all of them.
John the Angry Drunken Midget
All credit to
@raydevito
for asking John if his kids were named “Gemini and Thunder”.
And now, I am pleased to introduce to you, The Boozer’s Bruisers:
GEMINI and THUNDER MELENDEZ
I have made some images that have required a lot of time and energy to get right. I’ve also made some images that were composites of various images resulting in beautiful complex color schemes.
BUT, this is seriously the one that I am most proud of.
Does anyone else imagine this image when John talks about talking to Kate on the phone?
“No. You hang up. No. You hang up. Ok. Let’s hang up at the same time. Hahahahahaha. You didn’t hang up!!!”
New game today!!!
Try to spot the difference: Which one of these women is Hitman Dawn and which one is Zelda from Pet Sematary?
The answer might not be as simple as you think.
Good luck.
I just watched Rico cover John’s interview with Elisa. John is just disgusting with the sexual questions he asks his female guests. It’s not funny. It’s not amusing. It’s just insulting and disrespectful. It might even border on abusive. He’s just gross in every way possible.
“But, now you come to me, and you say: ‘John Melendez, give me justice.’ But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to crank my hawrg.”
BREAKING NEWS: Based on the photo of John Melendez walking, we have learned that John has been photographed before.
John has been photographed walking in the area where a MAJOR DISASTER was soon to occur.
In 1986, John was seen walking near the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant.
BREAKING NEWS: Former Tonight Show seat filler, John Melendez was spotted in the woods concocting a spell to make children gay.
Mr. Melendez seems to believe that this “curse” is a punishment and will cause a parent to stop loving their children. We just can’t make sense of it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Take a guess who will be the focus of my images for a while.
If anyone has an image (maybe some revolting geriatric p0*n) that could use Assy’s face “in the mix”, feel free to send it my way (no questions asked).
Thanks to everyone at
@TheUncleRicoSho
and to all of the chatters for all of the support and the encouragement. It was an honor to have my pics highlighted on the show. I am proud, and I hope to keep contributing to the laughs.
I created this award (which I also proudly accept).
John has revealed Shuli’s secret - TSN is a large international corporation with thousands of employees.
You must be SO embarrassed Shuli! You have a loyal fan base, daily fan contributions, corporate sponsorships, and best of all - enemies who are jealous.
John eats cat food.