Fake Woke With Justine
@officialfwwj
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Satire and vibes | Created and Hosted by @justinewanda If you have a good laugh or love consistent yelling into the abyss send life support to 8188176
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This is NOT A DRILL OR WHATEVER GENRE YOU LOVE!
As promised, the new FWWJ episode is out!!
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Kenyan politicians: “You have an iPhone? Why are you rich? iPhone is a sign of wealth. Protesters should be for poor people! Why aren’t you poor? We need you to be poor so we don’t have repercussions when we harm you! Be poor!!!”
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BREAKING: Government proposes Kenyans should just hand all their money to KRA then they’ll give you back what they think you need
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BREAKING: Electricity has moved to higher ground following government orders
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PSA: KRA ups custom duty check at JKIA. Arrive safely friends (dive into your pauperhood)
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BREAKING: Kenyan athlete failed by the system currently being congratulated for their resilience
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Glad you’re proud of the 12step program that is buying bundles!
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BREAKING: Man with violent criminal record inspects congregants to stop any possible violence
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MADEA GOES TO SUGOI?
President Ruto will visit the Tyler Perry Studios. He’ll be with Tyler Perry - Foreign Affairs PS Korir Sing’oei
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JUST IN: KRA officials to lift and sort through people’s mattresses in new tax measures
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Made a mockumentary on road safety
Thank you to my friends
@mainamunene_
Jack Otis, Titus and GG
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JUST IN: MPs suddenly worried about Data Protection as election spamming shoe now on the other foot
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Glad Mazingira is getting a Day when the Mazingira is being washed away
It's official! October 10 public holiday renamed Mazingira Day
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BREAKING: Ministry of Interior to write list of noisemakers in president’s rallies
Hecklers x100
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NHIF typing errors, Russian fertilisers to Kenya and vaccine shortages all handled by Thin Air Airlines
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JUST IN: Man who’s been speaking every day since he got into office still has more to say
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JUST IN: Unemployment not my fault ~ man in charge of country
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JUST IN: Certified spendthrift asking others to live within their means
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Media to held liable in protest coverage? Bill, Bills, Bills
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No food for kids in school and other implications of the 2024/2025 budget and Finance Bill 2024
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BREAKING: JKIA users encouraged to bring their own generators if they’re serious about travelling
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BREAKING: Country leader says national anthem lyric “Justice be our shield and defender” is just a suggestion
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BREAKING: Impeached CS to keep job because scandal not big enough to beat brown envelopes
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BREAKING: Upmarket Nairobi hangout meets annual racist quota ahead of time
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The wages of the overtaxation is your future destruction, call you MP/Women Rep to
#RejectFinanceBill2024
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BREAKING: “Just coming back from vacation, why is this place a mess?” Nairobi leadership
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BREAKING: Nairobi ground shakes head at the atrocities of the day
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Summary of all the audacity this past weekend
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BREAKING: GoK encourages sport teams qualifying for games abroad to play remotely if they can
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Graduates to get jobs on NEA website, MPs get a raise, office of the spouses and CASs exit stage left
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BREAKING: Govt wants to decrease population to reduce the number of people to let down
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URGENT: Call for faith diplomacy to fight against the flooding of the expressway!
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Introducing Car Struggle Motor Vehicle Tax… if the Finance Bill 2024 passes
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“We want to reduce spending!” says spender
President
@WilliamsRuto
:
"Our expenditure is what has driven us to where we are today. So we must cut down on our expenditure. We must rationalise. We must make it much more efficient. We must deal firmly and decisively with pilferage and wastage and theft and the so evident
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Dialogues given priority instead of fixing corruption and other critical issues
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The Finance Bill 2024 wants to remove oversight on how those affordable houses are sold by deleting Section 54 of the Affordable Housing Act 2024. You’ll be the venture capital for a fund for the corrupt but sure THE BREAD!!!
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As you
#RejectFinanceBill2024
just know the land amendments bill is also waiting for its pickpocketing turn
Details from
@NamatiKenya
and lawyer Muriuki’s breakdown
#FreeShad
#FreeFranje
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Doctor interns demand placement while the ministry of health lets them down some two years on
Grateful for doctor demands translated by
@Ngartia
and
@mainamunene_
#OccupyMOH
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UPDATE: Kenyan bracelet regaining wrist showing allowance
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Unemployment line accommodates new former CS entrants
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Sneak peek into Ministry of Health Call Center
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SHOCKING: Murang’a collects more revenue without overtaxation
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Banks, Insurers, Manufacturers weigh in on Finance Bill 2024, no vaccines y’all be safe, farmers can’t get top dressing
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Museums of Kenya are increasing their entry charges but have they gotten rid of their Casper workers?
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BREAKING: Country unsurprisingly let down by predictable cowards
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Finya Computer Itoe Dollar no longer just a meme
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IMF gives Kenya new funding and the terms and conditions are compulsory*
*not yet but check how your MP is moving
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DCI arrest psychopath vampire serial killer after boda confessions, Ford Foundation name-checked in protests, fired CSs with big pay day, Kags for Rwanda again
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National Executive Retreat of Lights and KE Harambee contributors asked to step their patriotism game up
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Kenyans came together to honour those whose lives were ended by the state standing up for what’s right. They deserve justice and may we always remember their names
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The Auditor General raised concerns over inconsistencies in eCitizen’s Revenue Statements for up to Ksh15.5billion. For anyone curious to know how this portal works, here is a deep-dive ⬇️⬇️
Feature story on the revolutionary port-hole, eCitizen in case you missed it
Check out this link for the full recap⬇️
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BREAKING: “I forgave him!” says man who’s never let anything go
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Of power problems and the irony of 60years of independence! Happy Jamhuri Day?
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BREAKING: Guinness Book of World Records creates new category for KK administration after unlocking unseen levels of incompetence
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Refuse planning, embrace struggle and panic ~ Transport CS advocating for poor muddy roads
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Kenya Power’s loss making initiative and a chat with top Kenya Power employee
@EstherKazungu
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Looks like the ICC is 2 for 2 on Kenyan presidents
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JUST IN: Steve Harvey meeting fails to inform KFCB on how YouTube/online content creation works
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Mental health fail check for the unaffordable horror house we live in
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The Finance Bill 2024 will introduce eco levy on pads/sanitary towels(packaging) and this will heighten period poverty in a country that was among the first to do the right thing in 2004. Regression after 2 decades
Full video I did on it in 2021! ⤵️
The Kenyan government did/is doing something to help with period poverty! No, you did not read that wrong!
Watch the full episode 2 here
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BREAKING: People responsible for economic downturn to hold prayer for economic recovery
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Healthcare is defunded in the new budget as SHIF lays out terms and mkae rada coverage conditions
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JUST IN: Expressway users urged to get richer or join children of a lesser decker
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Living La Vida Praisa on taxpayer dime but hopefully cheaper gas cylinders help with the hopelessness
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BREAKING: Police officers arrest vampire during the day and he didn’t combust
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DWANZI OF THE WEEK is a carefully crafted showcase by politicians on who can say the dumbest thing on TV. Happening on a screen near you
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Nairobi FM!
“Making Nairobi Twerk!”
Coming soon
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GoK increasing government services and here’s a digital immigration solution to know which world you can afford to live in
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BREAKING: Senator cites problems citizens raised in protests, gives solutions didn’t need X space
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JUST IN: Man refuses to answer questions by making it about victims he doesn’t care for
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BREAKING: Country thieves call citizens criminals
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BREAKING: National anthem remix writers thinking of adding booing part to boost national unity against leader incompetence
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“I did my best!” says person with worst human rights record
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Protesters were out, glossed and proud to
#RejectFinanceBill2024
some were amended but there are many questionable clauses in there still
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Real tourism is about going to great places! Visit The Real Nairobi ❤️
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BREAKING: Man in charge of country says police suddenly weaker that civilians even after training
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Dropping weekly recaps now - NYS recruits disqualified on tattooed technicalities, Bomet county officials experiencing non delivery, while Kenyan vodka fails litmus drinkability test
Full video here
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Wage bill up, WSR comes bearing gifts from the US and new Maandamano getting tear-gassed bill
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Hired goons unpaid as Saks was holidaying in Diani and the road maintenance levy goes up so participate in dropping it
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JUST IN: Namesakes beware! Abductors confuse journalist for other guy though
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BREAKING: El Nino reduced to significant rains after being taxed by KK administration
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Feature story on the revolutionary port-hole, eCitizen in case you missed it
Check out this link for the full recap⬇️
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Slashing salaries for medical
interns? Finding out how wage theft* (*redistribution) works
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A resident of the area where the explosion happened just shared that the gas leak is still ongoing, the area is yet to be secured
@NemaKenya
@EPRA_Ke
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Ab Sharp Tone to arrest hecklers, CAS posts may increase in number while medical interns to be posted on April Fools
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Weekend of horrors: women’s bodies retrieved at Kware, area police transferred to ensure unbiased investigation? Kenyan politicians send empathy to DJT abroad, ICT bill public participation, cancer patients being stolen from
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JUST IN: Governors in flood afflicted areas shocked that anticipated heavy rains actually came
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Appointed full time for parastatal jobs but taking part time jobs in party elections
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