had a dream jack black was an economics professor at my college and that was like our main point of pride and people would always be like “ohhh shit you go to FSU?? like where jack black teaches???” and i’d be like haha yeah 😏
i love when u go to call an uber but it’s too expensive so you open lyft and uber starts sending you pathetic needy little notifications like ‘UMM UMM we’re cheaper now please ride us’ like yeah beg for it you slut
@bimboposting
@socialaskan
one time i hung out with him after a show and he asked if we knew why teenagers were heckling him by screaming "YOURE SO GENDER" he was like "i dont know what that fucking means im 33 "
today was my last day at this one bar i worked at and i got sent home early because i told a customer it was my last day and he said “oh are you quitting?” and i said “no i’m killing myself tomorrow”
everybody in my challengers theater was going “ewww!!” at the threeway scene lmfao. how are you going to come to the mmf tennis movie and get mad at mmf tennis
how do i always feel good and also get smarter and more capable and become a better person overall and also make 3 million dollars and everyone loves me but without doing any work
i dont like social media anymore. i posted a video of us trespassing in an abandoned bar and the first person to watch it was my highschool principal i just immediately deleted it because wtf
i don’t want to sound like a puritan but how is it legal that this woman just served me an 8% beer at 2pm. there needs to be laws put in place to protect me from what i want
remember in elementary school when it was like ‘don’t litter or waste electricity so you can leave behind a good world for future generations!’ and now less than a decade later it’s like if we don’t all stop using oil immediately a billion people will literally die
lol i love downtown st pete bc i love seeing goths with goth babies and hipsters with hipsters babies. i hate downtown st pete bc i just paid 14 dollars for a kratom tea
lots of guys with sports teams in their bios following me. there is nothing here for you. my account is for women, homosexuals, drug addicts, and tech autists ONLY