Jeremy Kitchen 🐈 Profile Banner
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈 Profile
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈

@kitchen

Followers
1,323
Following
185
Media
1,664
Statuses
21,844

On a 5 year world tour. Blog: Mastodon:

The Trail
Joined December 2006
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
1 year
For those of you not following me on my mastodon at , my 5 year world tour has been put on hold as I was diagnosed with "suspected colon cancer" in Japan. Check my mastodon for more info this is the last I'll post of it here. #FuckCancer
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
I need a pony
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@BlueSpaceCanary @steveklabnik I’m imagining it now: every other time you use your turn signal you get one of: 1) an ad 2) a nazi 3) told you’re actually going to the wrong destination let’s take you to a space instead. 4) … a space full of nazis 5) something you’ve clicked “see less often” 1000 fucking time
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@tedwheeler Yes. The violence against protesters must stop. Once that stops, so will the other violence. Disarm the police.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@diesoft_ @lauraehall Legit question: can he actually slither around wearing it or just slither through it?
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@0x604 @avadacatavra “Hey, you got a minute” As loaded as “hey, we have backups, right?”
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@tedwheeler So let’s teargas peaceful crowds making it harder to control the agitators as the crowds scatter. Good call.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@Willem__Evers @yourolly Fuck that. Any company that makes me jump through fucking hoops to cancel doesn’t deserve my business, let alone my work. Get rid of this stupid bullshit.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@tedwheeler It will say that for 2 months you gassed peaceful protesters and only stopped because the feds were better at it than you. Apologize for gassing peaceful protesters for the past 2 months.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@tedwheeler Want to show us a reason not to defund the police? Have them protect protestors from the worse police. Otherwise you’re all the same uniform as far as I’m concerned, just different guns.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@tedwheeler Use your police to protect your citizens
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@0xPooria @BoredApeYC @opensea @LooksRareNFT Oh damn I’m so sorry you got scammed out of that link to a jpeg that burned down a forest. I truly weep for your loss.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@tedwheeler All I saw last night was people wanting to mourn. A few bad apples perhaps, but the vast majority just wanted to mourn. To feel heard. Instead we got even more police violence.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@tedwheeler By imposing a curfew you're turning anyone peacefully protesting into a criminal, and then turning the cops loose on them. Get rid of the curfew. Disarm the police. Join us. Don't try to squash us. I'll be there picking up trash. Please arrest me.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@kf I found your mousepad
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@gradydoctor @wholemilk Seriously I’ll help people fill out forms if it gets them vaccinated. I’m not working right now do have plenty of time on my hands for this
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
These are so cursed I hesitated to even help further amplify them but I know it will make @kf smile so blame them.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
Hey @twitter : you really need to allow people to opt out of alcohol ads.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@LitAnscombe @caraesten The extra scary thing about this is they mention having to “fix a security vulnerability” by disabling HTTP OPTIONS verb, which sounds like a PCI compliance scan result, which means this Kafka is on the public Internet.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@thingskatedid @actuallyamuppet ok now I remember why I don't write C
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@tedwheeler Use your police to protect your citizens from them.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@realDonaldTrump Man, philly has really grown a lot since I was last there. 100 million people, whew!
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@GregoryMcKelvey @anomalily Hundreds of cops said literally nothing to me, a white dude, as I wandered aimlessly around downtown tonight. Until I started videoing them from a safe distance as they hassled some black kids. And then they said "obstruction" and cited curfew ... I don't get it.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@TurboBurpo This is so ridiculously illegal it's not even funny. Landlords are required to provide a habitable space. Windows and doors are part of that (at least in Portland, I would imagine this is the same in other reasonable places). This landlord is about to get fucked, hard.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@thingskatedid @actuallyamuppet wait what the shit is CHAR_BIT and why would it ever not be 8? char never represents a unicode symbol, right? that would be a different type? right? :(
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@tedwheeler Here’s a freebie: disarm the police. Have them patrol on foot, watching for “bad apples”, dealing with them accordingly. Get the police to show that they’re there to help enable peace rather than to “enforce the law” (curfew or otherwise) All we see right now are enforcers thugs
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@LauraHardyRadio @lynncyrin @artificialnix we even coordinate so we're keeping it balanced. Gotta make sure we don't rock the boat.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@kf Motor oil is like baby oil except you smear it on the body of the engine to keep its skin soft
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
5 years
@trimethelp @RobElmer This is stupid. The ticket is valid for 2.5 hours from time of first tap. Don’t make this arbitrarily harder for people.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@norman_osbourne @WholesomeMeme NICE TRY! Those are Guinea pigs
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
Pro tip for @gameofkittens : don't attack the player who is going to lose. Attack the player who is going to win.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
7 years
As I leave New Zealand 🇳🇿, I’d like I announce that I’m leaving on an around the world travel adventure for the next 2 years, and in order to help fun the trip I’m placing this account up for sale. DM if interested. Serious offers only.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
11 years
I have an extra ticket for @pattonoswalt at @LargoLosAngeles feb 15, anyone want to go?
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
9 years
I ordered some cat traps from Amazon. AAAAAA++++++++++
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@thingskatedid @bcantrill “Past me wrote this” got it 😂
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
TIL a sign language mic drop is exactly what you would expect it to be. #alterconf
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
9 years
@NewYorkFBI @cupcait seriously best marketing stunt I’ve ever seen
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
5 years
@kefimochi @lynncyrin VPN is a great example. Your tunneled TCP connections will handle their own TCP ordering and retransmitting and such. In fact it is theoretically better because if you TCP tunnel a bad TCP packet you’re doing the extra work to make sure that bad packet got there.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
5 years
I just got my tax refund. Show me a donation receipt and I'll match it, up to $5k
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
I've been struggling a lot with depression lately so I feel like I should call out the self-care stuff I've done today that I'm proud of:
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
USPS: “In transit, arriving on time” Translation: it hasn’t left the originating facility and it’ll be there in 2 days or 6 months nothing in between.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
New keeb who dis?
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@woofawooo @kefimochi Not lying: I have had SO MANY dreams where I could do that stair slide like it was nothing.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
10 years
part of my plan to save money using @ynab : every transaction I don't record I take $5 out of restaurant budget.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@mostlyplausible @trimet Guarantee if you tell the driver you’re heading to a cooling center they’ll let you on even if it’s less than 100 outside.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
Traded my indoor gym for an outdoor one #gymselfies
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@SarahBelleLin @itsLBParker CANT GET IN THE CLUB THE CLUB IN THE PARKING LOT
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@NanoRaptor I feel like this should instead be like an 8 dimensional slider
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
@TheReclade @richburroughs I'll draw all 16 Pokémon for the person. 16 dickbutts, coming right up!
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@ryanflorence @lynncyrin yea but then the product people are like "hey, let's put an entire amazon datacenter on this ikea desk"
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@BabadookNukem @Choplogik Try having @kitchen as a username …
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
@RonWyden @akalindsey @realDonaldTrump honestly I don't. They are literally the least of his problems. Don't let him distract you with this.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
@realDonaldTrump the only terrorists I've seen in the US are rednecks with lifted trucks, giant american flags and trump stickers.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
7 years
How you treat your employees on their way out the door says a lot about how you feel about the employees who are still there.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
Obligatory
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
A ransomware gang but they only hit payday loans places and burn them to the ground
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@signalapp @kf Giphy’s search is really really bad anyways. I don’t think I’ll miss it.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
2 years
4 years ago I tweeted an April Fool's joke that I was selling all of my stuff to travel around the world for 2 years. I'm not kidding this time. TL;DR: I'm heading to New Zealand in a few weeks with my bike to start a 5 year world tour.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
You’ve heard of cat cafes, owl cafes, Fox cafes and even rabbit cafes. But I’m going to open the worlds first RAT CAFE
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@thingskatedid I think this is the answer no matter what’s on the computer tbh
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@pinguino Step 1: put kettle on Step 2: learn Japanese Step 3: read instructions on package
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@tedwheeler You joined a city council meeting WHILE DRIVING YOUR CAR
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
I got my hair cut. It's been a couple of months since I've done that and I always feel better afterward.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@GingerSlim @kefimochi Do NOT fuck with a Chilean street dog. This is how much the people love them :)
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@thingskatedid According to every video game website everywhere: January first of whatever year I spun to
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
I feel like every jaw in this room just dropped: #monitorama
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
9 years
@bikinginla @latimes and *repeatedly* calling it an accident. Drunk driver killing someone on a bike is NOT an accident.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
who decided to call it "soldering" and not "smoking joints" ?
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@occasionalell @lauraehall With this, SOS sounds like someone having a good time. sí sí sí OH MY GOD sí sí sí
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
@nelhage a filibuster?
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
Washington monument cliches but only wrong ones
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@cza_li @thingskatedid I’d say do it in the language of the tweet. Twitter should make it translatable, it’s probably an oversight on their part.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
I left my bed today so that’s a start.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
Why pay for @replit when you can just run emacs on their jobs page? 🤣
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@tedwheeler @tessriski @PortlandPolice Start by taking their guns away so they stop murdering people.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
I have been despairing over this ... weed? Some sort of thorny vine that has entirely taken over my patio. I went to town on that shit.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@caraesten counterpoint: google maps.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
@AWSreInvent @mmgaggle proof that a semi full of hard drives is still higher bandwidth than the internet.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
Done!
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
pro interview tip: bone up on a testing framework for the language your interview will be using. use during interview.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@NanoRaptor I would have murdered for this in high school haha I had a ti-92 and used it like a little laptop
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@jessfraz I’m a big fan of rake. I like how it’s more task driven and I can actually understand how it works and such whereas make feels very … awkward.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
Officially called it a day! Surgery tomorrow, then 2 weeks off to recover. Excited and terrified and everything in between.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
7 years
I'm done using Twitter. If you want to reach me, my contact info is in the website in my profile. <3 you all for the good times.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
It begins
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
4 years
@caraesten Send them $10 worth of pennies.
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
7 years
that thing when a friend leaves a job and that job is really shitty to them about leaving and that just makes you happier for them
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
🇯🇵 😸
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@dearjeremydear @AFABRocky At one point I was paying upward of $120/mo for satellite with a TiVo (not their shitty dvr, an actual TiVo)
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
3 years
@gradydoctor @wholemilk Ok where do I sign up for the backpack?
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
7 years
I heard there were some stairs on this ride?
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
8 years
I'm home
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@kitchen
Jeremy Kitchen 🐈
10 years
netflix still requires silverlight for desktop playback? http://t.co/sAe20CYoBq
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