Jenna
@jennabohenna
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She doesn't even go here. Same on 💙☁️.
Joined January 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Game show idea: survivor but it's a bunch of ceo's having to live off the lowest wage they offer their employees for 6 months without utilizing any saved funds
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Remember how I walked into a door at work 6 weeks ago, cut my head open, and got a concussion?
Today, I returned to the scene of the accident and took a picture.
Can you see how I could've walked into it? It looks OPEN!
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Just to clarify:
-This was reported to EHS within about 15 minutes
-I'm seeing a doctor and all care is being covered through worker's comp
-I am working w/ a lawyer so thanks for all your comments showing reasonable people agree the door is a safety hazard!
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Church leaders: no coffee, no masturbating, give us 10% of your paycheck
Mormons: ok
Church leaders: wear a mask and practice social distancing
Mormons: 😯😱😤🤬 HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!
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What I did NOT do: design the imperceptible door for people to crash into.
Seeking legal advice in this situation is wise. Please do the same if you find yourself in similar circumstances. My company is worth billions. It will be fine. I, however, am not fine.
Muting. Thanks!
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One more thing—some of you are saying I "did" this or it was my "mistake," but I did nothing wrong! I was walking (not running), facing forward, and completely undistracted and focused on going into that room to get my laptop. I wasn't talking to anyone. I was wearing safe shoes.
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@dftbaRachel
@jessiejensen
See also:
"Please provide samples of your work"
Oh, and share company secrets?? THIS IS A TEST you can't fool me
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@ohkayewhatever
@marcidarling
Seriously. And he gets like a 20-second clip while he installs flooring
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The resurrected Jesus didn't have to appear to a marginalized woman first, but He did. And He called her by name.
I think about that a lot.
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If any of you TV execs actually make this happen, I want $1 million + 20% of ad revenue
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Mormons are generally very good at following rules, which becomes problematic when the rules are bad.
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Helpful tip: if someone answers "How are you?" with "Hanging in there!" they are almost certainly doing badly
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Stop worrying about what people are wearing to church and start celebrating the fact they showed up, Pharisees
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Marry the kind of person who believes women are more than bodies to be looked at
Marry the kind of woman who will look better after four kids than most do before having any.
It says more about her character, worth ethic, and love and respect for you than you know.
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Today I was subbing as the Primary pianist at church and I found a way to sneak the Olympic fanfare in, and I swear I have never seen so many adults smile at one time
If you ain't using your musical talents to make people happy WHY DO YOU EVEN EXIST
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One of the most toxic requirements of Mormonism is you must endure loss and grief a certain way -- quickly, quietly, patiently, elegantly, and graciously, as if death has not just ripped your very heart out and you are not profusely bleeding as you go about your life.
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Dear Mormons, get ready for yet another Mother's Day where Heavenly Mother isn't mentioned once, and you go home feeling shitty with a chocolate bar in your hand
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did Jimmy even eat the world?
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For a church that teaches "moderation in all things" it's not very fucking moderate
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If you've every been a nursery worker in the Mormon church, don't worry about what's in the vaccine
Hell, you probably don't even need the vaccine
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FYI, social distancing is NOT:
-playing on park equipment
-hiking with friends/cousins (unless you live with them)
- having firepits on your driveway with neighbors
-inviting friends over for your birthday
Be responsible, stay healthy.
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Guess it's safe to say now since he announced it on social media -- I'm in the middle of a divorce, and quite frankly, I'm just tired and sad
Dear Twitter, I am really struggling in my personal life with a huge, sad change and I could use some love and/or cute animal photos if you have any to spare
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Dear David Archuleta,
You feel like you're hanging on a ledge with a 100-foot plummet beneath you.
I promise, you're not. Your feet are only inches from the ground.
Let go. You will find freedom. You will find joy. You will find love.
Let go.
❤️
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Is it just me, or are these wayyy harder now that NYT owns it?
Wordle 240 5/6
⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜
⬜🟨🟩⬜🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
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What gets me is that the Church sent their most beloved apostle to do their hateful, homophobic bidding. The one who gave LGBTQIA members even a shred of hope things might change for the better. The one they—WE—all looked to for solace following the harsh words of the others.
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Silver lining to being Mormon once upon a time: I 100% know how to run a meeting efficiently and delegate tasks, which is purely something I learned from being in church leadership
The good news is now I get paid to do it lol
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This might seem funny, but it's actually not funny at all. It's incredibly harmful. They have literally sexualized human anatomy that was *drawn* for educational purposes. Not even photographed. And the diagrams are pointing to parts that are completely obscured. I just --
In todays edition of ~wtf
@byuidaho
~ college level Anatomy class puts censor bubbles because p*rn I guess (organs, the nervous system, and vein diagrams). I don’t censor these for my kids of any age, I can’t you guys
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Hey everyone. Just want to talk about something we don't ever talk about with regards to church culture, and that's life for women after kids. Thread:
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I've been trying to come up with some kind of charity to link to here since this seems to be blowing up, but honestly, just think of a single mom you know who's working an entry level job or two and venmo her $50, ok?
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@expensivebich
@P00DI3PI3
She's low-key like, idk why he's so into this but I'm gonna roll with it I guess
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Today for lunch, I made a huge bowl of guacamole and the kids and I ate the whole thing with chips, and then they all thanked me like it was the best meal of their entire lives
I guess sometimes, being a good mom means serving chips and guac for lunch
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Just would like to add my voice to the chorus of women who graduated from BYU with very little to no debt from a very highly-ranked program and an exceptional collegiate experience.
BYU isn't great all the time, and it's not for everyone, but it is NOT "the literal worst."
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Since I'm traveling today, I am going to impart some wisdom I've learned as a seasoned airline traveler:
1) When you get off the plane and have to pee, don't go to the nearest restroom. That's where everyone is going. Hold it like a big kid and go to the next one. 1/?
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Guys. This is my favorite picture of myself EVER. And I won't hide it under a bushel!
Sorry if the thumbnail is just my torso, I GUESS YOU HAVE TO OPEN IT
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Just a reminder: prosperity gospel is a fallacy and a LIE
You can do everything right and
-get very sick
-be poor
-lose a child
-struggle with infertility
-die
and you can do everything wrong and be very healthy, very wealthy, never suffer from loss
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Just signed divorce papers and my dead mom's 60th birthday is tomorrow and life just really, really hurts sometimes
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Once the quarantine period starts, we are each going to experience what it was like for Ben Wyatt in between jobs
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Barbie is achieving a lot for women everywhere, including bringing back the side part 😍
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"Ally 🏳️🌈 who is terrified of being shunned by family for not having a temple recommend so I keep paying tithing but I do hope God tells the prophet it's ok for gays to get married soon" is just too long for a bio, okay?
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Mormons also like to invent rules, as if more rules = more holiness. But Jesus taught the opposite. He rebuked the Pharisees for this behavior. He gave us a higher law, one that follows the Spirit.
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TW: abuse
Turns out if you've been sexually abused as a kid and then get married at 18 and then have three kids by the time you're 27, all while belonging to a high-demand patriarchal religion and unknowingly suffering from bipolar disorder, you're probably gonna get divorced 🤷🏼♀️
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Oh so THIS is what the Church is saving its billions for. Got it.
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Couldn't take a decent selfie of my new tattoo without my dog getting involved so you get to see both! Lucky you.
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What does it mean if you feel the Holy Ghost when you hear the Stranger Things theme song
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Dear Twitter, I am really struggling in my personal life with a huge, sad change and I could use some love and/or cute animal photos if you have any to spare
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This prom season, resist the urge to compliment young women on their "modest" prom dresses.
Girls and women are worth more than the amount of skin they're showing or not showing. Emphasis on hemlines and necklines is a form of objectification.
@TakeBackBeauty
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Imagine if the temple video had a scene where Heavenly Mother took Eve's hands and showed her how beautiful life could be if she ate the fruit
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Raise your hand if when you were in high school, it was popular to put a Playboy bunny sticker on your hip bone while you tanned
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Every so often I remember my sister-in-law and her husband attended a Cinco de Mayo party with her white neighbors in Gilbert, AZ where the women dressed as maids and the men dressed as landscapers and they had "lawnmower races"
Pro tip: never do this
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Looking at you ERNIE GARCIA III
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Idea: government sends every person who they can verify as having received both doses of ANY Covid vaccine a $500 incentive check
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Zero respect for people who make money by telling women how to get bikini-ready
News flash: this is a scam, every body is a bikini body, THE END
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Is the tight feeling in my chest ...
1) Anxiety
2) The seasonal allergies I get every year in March
3) COVID-19
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My mom never let us swim on Sundays because she said Satan has dominion over the waters and he would drown us if we swam on the Sabbath
We owned a pool that was literally never swam in on Sundays
okay friends
I want to hear your harmless folk doctrine stories
like, when my dad wouldn’t let us fill out tithing slips in the chapel because it was like “money changing in the temple”
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I wish that Church leaders encouraged women to truly rely on personal revelation to forge their paths through life. To pursue a career, or not, or wait to marry, or not, or have kids or not, but to just follow their hearts instead of sticking to a certain program.
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Pioneer handcart trek reenactments are one of the weirdest, stupidest and most dangerous things the LDS church encourages. Read this thread for examples of why. Also, you WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND on this, so don't try.
I was actually thinking about trek just yesterday! particularly thinking about the “women’s pull” a fairly common handcart trek activity where they make the girls pull the wagons alone in remembrance of the time pioneer women had to pull handcarts alone
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It took me until 4:30 pm to finish getting ready (thanks, depression) but I have to say, I absolutely SLAYED it
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@jharm22
There are zero situations in the temple where that ever came up without him bringing it up first. 🤣🤣
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Ex-Mormons gonna Morm! 🤣 Of course if I'm running meetings, I must be a man!
In other news, I don't think I belong on ex-Mo Reddit anymore lol. This wasn't really the response they were looking for, I guess?
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ICYMI, in her sickening allocution statement she said all the people who she brutally murdered (including her children) have visited her in spirit to comfort her and tell her they are happy and "very busy" in the spirit world. They told her not to worry about them.
Fuck her.
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I just saw Poor Things and have three thoughts:
1) what
2) Emma Stone deserves like 10 Oscars for that performance
3) the fuck
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My daughter is getting braces on and I just thought, "I should call Mom and tell her about this!"
My mom is dead and has been for over 2 years
When will this stop happening to me, I hate it
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Was feeling horribly exhausted and headachy and thought, "is it Covid?" before remembering tomorrow is the 5th anniversary of my mom's death.
The body keeps the score.
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When a woman whose kids are older than yours says "oh, you just WAIT"
Momsplaining
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30 - 50 feral hogs in the yard
30 - 50 feral hogs
Take one down
Pass it around
29 - 49 feral hogs in your yard
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If I have to go to church, I am going in pants and dark lipstick
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It's not that I want The Church to tell me what to do. It's that it *did* tell me what to do, and I followed it exactly with the promise of happiness and fulfillment. Meanwhile I am neither happy nor fulfilled and I feel terrified that I'm waiting for a train that's NEVER COMING.
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Seven years ago today, my mom died. She and I looked just alike.
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A lady at Walmart came up to me and said "I know you're following me ... and I don't like it"
And I didn't know how to react because joking or serious? so I just said "I'm not, hahaha" and then spent the rest of my shopping trip paranoid that she was following ME
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When Grandma doesn't know how properly use quotation marks, Christmas takes on a whole new meaning
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If you're traveling with a baby or toddler, give them a dose of Motrin or Tylenol prior to the flight. The pressure change REALLY hurts their tiny ears and it causes them to cry, not want to eat, not want to sleep, and be generally miserable along with the rest of the plane. 3/?
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Wear a cardigan or a light jacket. Planes can be cold and there's not much you can do to control the climate. You can always remove layers if it's too warm. 2/?
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Hey everyone? Take it from someone (me) whose mother died from cancer:
Let RBG rest. Let her die if she's ready. Her quality of life -- however much she has left -- is more important than her job. People are more important than things. And she doesn't owe us anything.
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SAHMs who are out protesting so their kids can go back to school:
Your husband makes enough money so you can stay home with your kids but you don't want to use your privilege to facilitate virtual learning so we can prevent people from dying??? Ok, Ashley.
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Mine is when I'm driving on a curved freeway overpass and I think, "What if instead of following the curve, I just drove STRAIGHT OFF??"
Love that for me
random twitter user: hehe intrusive thoughts r so silly one time i thought the word "poop" for no reason!
actual intrusive thought: it would be so easy to just throw yourself off this bridge, have u tried smashing ur friend over the head with that large object? jump into traffic
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My most BYU story 🧵: I took a PE class called Flexibility when I was about 6 months pregnant. Why? I needed the credit to keep my Pell grant, and it was the minimum # of credits I needed.
Anyway, first day of class, we partner up to take each other's height and weight. 1/2
the most BYU story I have is probably that time I broke up with my fiancé in April and in August he married another girl with our temple appointment
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Today was just another first Sunday in July where I, the ward music coordinator, did not select any patriotic hymns for sacrament meeting
Also, y'all better enjoy those while you can cuz they ain't gonna be in the new hymnal ✌️
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Confession: my family moved and I changed school districts between 4th and 5th grade. My old school hadn't taught US geography yet, but my new school already had. So, if you ask me where a certain state is or what states it borders, there's about a 40% chance I have no idea.
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