jamieliddellthepoet
@jamieliddellth1
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Following
8,946
Media
4,079
Statuses
36,731
“Two tons of shit squeezed into a double sleeping bag.” Thanks Mum. But I finally got a collection together: see pinned tweet for links. Yippee!
Joined September 2019
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Pinned Tweet
New links for FREE downloads of my new collection Waveshadows: enjoy!
EPUB:
PDF:
I’d love feedback, of course, positive or otherwise… Get me here or at jamieliddellpoetry
@outlook
.com
Thanks for reading!
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@KatyMontgomerie
@skarjay92
I’ve actually had a couple of dates like this, except the minority in question was skin-tone-based. Terrifying.
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A house is on fire. You only have time to perform one rescue. Do you save:
Lee Anderson?
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Darren Grimes?
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Dan Wootton?
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an already-dead badger?
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My grandad was a member of the Normandy Veterans Association. He fought against fascism. He got blown up, & shot by fascists. He BEAT fascism. He lived, and died in a free country 50 years later. And he would be sickened by this government. Sickened, and ashamed, and very angry.
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OK, so, call me a cynic if you like; fault me for my lack of imagination, sure. But just how many purposes are there?
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@SavvyRinu
@SamuelPresh
I choose to interpret the ">" symbols in this tweet as meaning "greater than", and I can only concur wholeheartedly.
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Brilliant. And bang on.
"You don't want to be called racist, so you call yourself 'anti-woke'."
It is 'extraordinarily fascistic' to 'tell the RNLI who they should and shouldn't rescue from the sea'
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
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@SophieP25397
Oh come ON Sophie. GB was DEFINITELY personally responsible for many years of irresponsible and predatory lending on the part of US-based financial institutions over which he had literally no control. Get a grip.
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Whenever I get surprised by the execrable nature and historically unparalleled incompetence of our current leadership, I need to remember that we held a national competition called "Britain's Got Talent" which was won by a dancing dog.
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OK, poll time.... (Please RT if possible for a meaningful sample size.)
Would you rather have the ability to:
murder with impunity
273
resurrect one person
420
gain someone’s true love
450
live healthily to age 150
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@LozzaFox
Then they came for the cunts - and at that point you were arrested and lost access to your kids.
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@TPointUK
@LeeAndersonMP_
@SuellaBraverman
Roughly speaking, it looks like you’ve attracted about one person for every MILLION Britons.
And you still think you’re the “silent majority”? Wake up; grow up; be kind. Stop this nonsense. You’re embarrassing yourselves.
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@tobiashaines
@lukegreen71
The only time she roams the countryside is at night when she needs to feed on the unwary.
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First finished poem in a year or so. It's short but... sweet.
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I'm 19 followers away from 3k, so if your kink is helping strangers reach arbitrary mileposts on their journeys up Maslow's Hierarchy of Neediness, well, tonight's your lucky night.
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I RTd this yesterday but it NEEDS to be watched so I’m doing it again.
The largest steel works in Britain closed and the media didn’t even ask WHY
We exposed the real reason - which was Brexit & cuts.
It was watched by two million people.
As independent media we need your help to keep exposing the truth about what’s really going on. Please
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Retweet this to give me extra exposure at no discernable benefit to yourselves.
(Worth a try.)
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Hey you lovely people. Getting a lot of - very kind - queries about my whereabouts/wellbeing: I’m fine, but thank you very much. It’s lovely. A lot going on here so needed to put the Twitter addiction aside for a few days: I will be back. Thank you again you marvellous beings. ♥️
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@supertanskiii
I tell you what, though, mate: that would be some genuine history right there. The very first time ever in the whole glorious tale of England that an heir to the throne had impregnated his bit on the side. Truly, who could have foreseen such a thing?
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Is Boris Johnson actually the worst person in British history?
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My daughter is making an emoji of me and is cackling madly at the prospect of the attached. Beard skills.
Then in a discussion about the emoji’s body she’s turned and asked: “Have you always been fat?”
This kid’s 13. Not seeing 14 at this rate.
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Good morning everyone. I'm about 50 followers away from 4k. Please like, RT and follow to demonstrate your desire to see someone you don't know and will never meet IRL achieve an arbitrary goal for no benefit other than a rather desperate sense of validation.
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@siyagivememoney
@lexismultiverse
@stopitg
@AsToldByKenya
Just reading such crap makes me want to relapse.
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OK, poll time. You've liberated a genie and it gives you one wish and one wish only. Which of the following do you wish for?
Peace on Earth.
402
True love.
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£500 billion.
631
A cure for cancer.
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There are plenty of better pics than this showing the same awful phenomenon, but last night as I wandered around central London I was as always consumed by a bitter rage that in 2019, in one of the richest cities in the world, there are countless people forced to live like this:
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Yo… Been a long time. But at last I’ve put a poetry collection together and I want to share the love: merry Xmas!
EPUB download:
PDF download:
Please let me know what you think at jamieliddellpoetry
@outlook
.com - thank you!
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Happy (Easter) Monday, everyone. Thank you so much for all your lovely messages: I’m going to post something a little more explanatory later but, all is fundamentally well with me.
I would have been able to send this yesterday but my phone committed seppuku out of spite. X
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Hello peeps. I had to take a break. Big love to you all.
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I didn’t plan to go to the pub tonight but got dragged into it. Shame on me. However: I want it on record that this guy, whoever he is, absolutely smashed the living shit out of ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ in the Black Horse, Taunton. Epic.
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@Nickyshearsby22
I think it’s a damn disgrace these things don’t write themselves and I have to do any draft at all, personally.
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I love my mum but, fucking hell…
She asked me “Where does the saying ‘Let them eat cake’ come from?”
I replied that, well: “It’s attributed to Marie Antoinette, but I think it’s doubtful she ever actually said it.”
“What, *before* she got her head cut off?”
😳
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@greghove
Nope. Not having it mate. The world is better with you in it. Speaking for the world as I am. You have loved and lost; you can love again and hold. DM me mate. Let’s chat shit.
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Huge claps to the woman in Taunton Tesco who just snarled "Shut up you little cunt!" to her (presumably not-yet-school-age) daughter for asking for some pick'n'mix. Keep up the top parenting.
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@Chrisballingall
@SteveDoherty1
Oh, come on Chris. Hedgies, tax evaders, large landowners, corporations, aristocrats, racists and people with profound learning disabilities absolutely adore them.
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OK so: the links (to my collection) in my last pinned tweet have expired… Thank you so very much to all who RTd and -especially- those who downloaded. I will be getting more set up shortly.
Meanwhile anyone who wants PDF or EPUB, ask jamieliddellpoetry
@outlook
.com
Cheers!
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░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░1░0░ ░D░O░W░N░I░N░G░ ░S░T░R░E░E░T░
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One of the many things on this site that pisses me off is people who claim to speak for everybody. Like their opinion is shared globally. Like they speak for the collective. Like they’re the voice of the gestalt intelligence.
You’re one of those people? Yeah, we hate you.
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What the fuck is this?? Could Lozza possibly be any more of a prick?
We’ll find out tomorrow!
Everyone say hi to, Laurence *not a racist* Fox 👋
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@deelomas
Can’t speak for everyone, but I very much DO give a fuck about emergencies. I just want to experience them in the nude.
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@BladeoftheS
It wasn’t ignored by everyone.
@PrivateEyeNews
covered it for YEARS.
Give Ian Hislop a peerage.
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@Nullen80
Every time this bloke posts a video and says “D’you understand?” a roadman loses a Clipper in Bounds Green.
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Story idea: Nigel Farage is chained to a rock and every day an eagle comes down from Olympus and tears out and eats his liver. Every day. Forever.
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Delighted to report that a woman just looked up at the gloomy clouds rolling in over Taunton and said "Oh dear. It's all getting a bit Boris, isn't it?"
#GettingABitBoris
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Post a gif of a famous person you’ve met.
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Had a traumatic day yesterday
I was reading a book on climate change when the last twenty pages fell out. When I took it back to the shop they immediately called an ambulance that rushed me to hospital.
Apparently I had a ruptured appendix.....
(Courtesy of my stepdad.)
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I don't want to get Twitter dying of a combination of bitter envy and helpless lust, but I've managed to build FOUR pieces of IKEA furniture without either breaking anything or mutilating anyone, myself included.
Happy to dedicate personally any temples raised in my honour.
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This was one of the easiest blocks of my life.
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Simon at it again with the perfectly reasonable, in-no-way-insane comparisons. 🙄
Nazi Germany had the Gestapo. The Soviet Union had the KGB. Here in the UK we have OfCom.
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Big shout-out to the woman sitting a couple of seats ahead of me on this bus who's just asked whoever she's on the phone to: "Fuck's sake Trish are your ovaries addicted to spunk?"
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Yes, I’d like glasses that make me look like an owl who’s been chained to a Beirut radiator for six years, please.
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Home safe and sound. Isha can do one:
Thanks again to the
@BerrysCoaches
legends for keeping us alive.
#StormIsha
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@angelgirl1077
Well, the geographic separation of social units typically leads to increased cultural speciation over time a-
Aliens. It's fucking aliens.
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Good morning ladies and gentlemen: welcome to your Thursday experience brought to you by a large team of almost complete strangers with serious mental health issues, and several million artificial persons. Please ensure your seats are in the upright position; enjoy the ride.
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Annie seems to be struggling with visual object recognition.
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I don't know if it's all this cider I'm drinking but my GOD you're all beautiful people.
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New law proposal: any Tory MP, past or present, who goes on record slagging off the NHS should be banned in perpetuity from accessing private healthcare.
YOU broke it, you unspeakable bastards. YOU did. On purpose. How fucking DARE you?
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No idea of the origins of this (just had it sent to me) but am lolling:
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Got sent this just now. No idea regarding its origin/copyright status etc but it's too funny not to share...
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Why is it 2.40am and not one of you - not one - has come to this yard regardless of how hard I’m shaking this milk?
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Ten-minute counting-smiles-in-Victoria challenge begins.
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@JohnJCrace
It’s because he’s spent most of his life with a peer group consisting of the very wealthy and influential, and hasn’t realised that as PM he has an infinitely broader and more diverse constituency - one which he simply doesn’t understand.
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What a piece of shit.
This is what class, grace, humility and dignity look like.
Perhaps someone should send it to Meghan Markle.
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I’m trying to concentrate on writing some doggerel in this pub BUT it’s very, very difficult when the bloke behind me is vociferously insisting to his date that the corect title is ‘When Androids Dream of Collective Sheep’.
She knows. But she’s going with it. He’s in.
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My late father would have been 68 today; this was his favourite song:
RIP Dad. Love you.
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Daily reminder that we all have tiny mites that live in our eyelashes and come down onto our cheeks to mate at night.
Merry Xmas!
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@DoctorZywiecMD
@TheMessengerDR
@JohntheLyricist
@HopiNg66966500
@MdBreathe
@jenniferforrep
How Christian of you Andrew.
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Huge algorithmic shout-out to all followers with handles ending in a string of numbers and who DM things like "Hello dear how is your days? Please gmail me at my gmail as i have important thing to discuss with you and I cannot speak safe here"...
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Here's to all my Brit tweeps who'll be voting for good tomorrow - and for those here and anywhere else who're hoping and striving for a kinder, saner, more equal and more loving world. Stay strong!
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Tfw the bottle of Normandy cider you've been looking forward to turns out to be 2% fucking alcohol.
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OK, so 3.5 hours to kill in London now. Should I:
a) immerse myself in global culture at the British Museum?
b) get all arty at Tate Modern?
c) Tinder it right the fuck up?
d) hit the pub?
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So I’ve finished watching Turning Point: the Bomb and the Cold War (it’s on Netflix in the UK) and I recommend it to everyone. It’s easy to forget the insanity which looms over us all, still - but we shouldn’t, and we mustn’t. Great doc. Haunting. Important.
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Big shout out on this special day to all the single MILFs in my area who are, apparently, still keen to meet me.
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@tprstly
@Scattered211
Once fighting breaks out it will be very interesting to see the incels' recruitment posters...
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According to a doctor I've just made up, the best way to protect yourself against
#coronavirus
is to RT this tweet and follow me.
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