CEO of the She-Woman Man Haters Club • 824
@itzDanzi
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I identify as a potato | Neurospicy | Foodie | Lover of the Light
Somewhere
Joined June 2009
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Pinned Tweet
And I’m done. When I say I want noodles, this is what I mean. 😮💨
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Me opening twitter to tweet about stuff nobody gives a fuck about
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When a woman tells you she’s about to cum do NOT change anything you’re currently doing.
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Couples Twitter on our NECKS today boy
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So this isn’t histal?
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LMFAOOOOO I met the man for 2 mins yall.
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I know a breadfruit when I see it
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If ntn else, beryl nah catch me hungry
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If it’s one thing bout me, I’m gonna eat breadfruit. So, I decided to make breadfruit loaded fries. I gotta tweak the recipe a bit before I give it to y’all but here’s my first attempt:
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Y’all look what my man sent me because I sent back something he ordered ONE TIME.
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SpongeBob knew exactly what he was doing
An experiment in which a 1000℃ iron ball was placed on the skin of a discarded pineapple.
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Another day and I am not a millionaire
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Her: leave me alone
Him: *leaves her alone*
Her: oh so you’re ignoring me?
Him:
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now that june is only a week away, what is the most iconic summer anthem?
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Whyyyyyy me just a see this? LMFAOOOOO
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Nigga you’re just getting to know: So you can cook?
Me: Yeahhh
Him: you should come over and cook for me sometime
Me:
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THE WHICH SPHERE?
The Bathysphere, considered the world's first deep-sea exploration vessel, emerged during the 1930s. This groundbreaking invention was a collaboration between American naturalist William Beebe and engineer Otis Barton. The Bathysphere was designed to withstand immense pressure
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Garlic powder just hardens for no reason no matter how much you seal it tight
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Me nuh care how much Apple tell me say my iPhone can do this, it ain’t doing it. Ever.
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Better to be single than with someone who still makes you feel alone
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Stingray PR will never win. We ain’t forget Steve, bitch.
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What’s wrong with roasting a damn breadfruit on a stove? Me say unnu love mek a mountain out of a goddamned molehill.
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Baby that is fried dumpling.
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Banana this color supposed to make fritters. Idc idc idc
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You curry WHOLE chicken legs? This is sociopathic behavior.
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Andrew and Mark haffi tump it out uppa emancipation park
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I AM FUCKING BLOODCLAAT SCREAMINGGGGGGGGGGGGG
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GUYS I HAVE OVER 100 VIEWS IN LESS THAN 3 HOURS? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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I’m sorry we nuh militant enough as a people. Cause the French would a bun down new Kingston long time.
Communication Manager at the Light and Power Company Winsome Callum has sought to explain that the increase in the bills is due to devaluation of the Jamaican dollar and the movement in the fuel charge on bills. She says a withdrawal of the bills is not on the cards.
#TVJNews
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I AM DELETING THIS GODDAMN APP
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I’m sorry but my people are SORE losers and I love it. Talk more shit.
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I will always think that jamaica having a bobsled team is such a flex bruh
Jamaican Bobsled Team Wins North American Cup Medal
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Koffee message me? A only me, she and my assigned FBI agent would a know.
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Man say ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Me nah pay this, niakumi must.
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Me googling how to fit a SUV in my living room
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I know spinnaz when I see them. 😂
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So Jamaica me go inna MegaMart in a jeans shorts this morning and the security at the door told me that I cannot enter because I am in breach of the company’s dress code. No later was there a white lady with her batty jaw hanging strolling about, uninterrupted.
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I need male trainers to take a second to really learn and understand how female anatomy works. Yes, I may have been able to lift heavy last week, but on week 4 of my cycle, everything is that much heavier and it’s not a product of laziness. My body just physically cannot. 1/3
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STOP JUSTIFYING ROBBERS. PEOPLE WORK HARD FOR DEM TINGS.
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Jamaica me go in a store today to buy an office chair and the man told me $40K. Went online and found the same chair for $90.
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Sir? Pls.
The fact that no one has figure out a fry breadfruit taco shell doesn’t sit well with my soul
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A suh Daryl siddung inna JPS neck enuh
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Unnu really photoshop een the grass???????
New Development in Newlands Portmore. (Royal Pines of Portmore)
What do you think?
Check out the full tour here:
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Our Lord and Savior Jesus Emmanuel Christ
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Egg, bacon and cheese but...in a wrap.
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Gyal dem lily of the valley tpccccc
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If she doesn’t know who this is, she’s too young for you bro.
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This needs plantain. No I will not explain myself.
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But when the Capitol needed him most, he vanished
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Y’all getting free ginger tea and complaining. Wild
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No. All things in moderation. Me nah eat curry goat and quinoa
If you are on your fitness journey, stop eating rice and sodas completely consistently for a year... you will thank me later
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Go moneygram only to be told that they don’t have any….wait for it…
Wait…………
…….
…
Money.
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Sometimes you eat a boxed Mac and cheese and call it night
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Easter bun nuh fi have them green, yellow and red fruit things. Don’t argue with me.
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Honestly, if I see you eating a fry chicken box food with pasta… I’m judging you.
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I hate when I tell people that I cannot afford a child and they proceed to tell me why I can. “If you cut back on—” …I don’t wanna reduce my quality of life Miriam.
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I don’t wanna see non of you lot participating in island wars for the next 3-5 business years. Cause they are gonna cook us.
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Hominy? That sound sensible to you?
@itzDanzi
Hi Hominy, thank you for contacting Flow. Please accept our deepest apologies for the troubles experienced. We'll be delighted to offer our assistance. Can you please describe the current issue you're experiencing?
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Two nights ago I dreamt that my work friend got promoted to project manager, I told her yesterday. This morning she messaged me that she made project manger! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
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I will flourish, I will grow. I will surpass my expectations. My name and my brand will be known. 💫
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I’m not DMing anybody for price. Keep your product.
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“Please record a short video of yourself telling us why you want to work wit—”
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Walk round wid your door jam 👍🏽
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“Never mind you’re too expensive I gotta friend who can do it cheaper”
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Regular unnu “cancel” people and then two days later unnu a akikiki wid dem
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Kareem deven know how him really help lift our spirits.
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Finally tried these. Never again.
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As a man, why are you pretty? Man fi maneous.
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All I’m saying is the French wouldn’t let this slide
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72 people murdered since the start of the year? UNNU LET ME OFF A THIS
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These are a few of my favorite things
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Lord knows this would be him
we went on a date, he said he’d pay and all dat. he ordered like 16k worth of shit and i just ordered pasta as usual being a basic bitch. and we were having a marvelous time then the bill came and all of a sudden him cya find him wallet and i had to foot the 20k bill.
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I think
@gracefoods
should bring back a modern day creative cooking and hire me for the job.
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The place is fine.
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Lij’s beard went to St. Hugh’s prep, then Campion, did SATs, passed for an Ivy League college. Moved back to Jamaica, plays golf on Saturdays, has 2 house in Florida and lives up Norbrook. Works in marketing.
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Yoooo is this what Jamaicans mean when they say hottaclaps???????/&:&:!:&/&/&/
Afterclap (noun):
When things get worse after you think you've dealt with them
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“I thought I said so. It. Is. A. Yes.”
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Unprecedented hurricane
Unprecedented earthquake
Unprecedented global economic crisis
Unprecedented genocides
Unprecedented climate events
Unprecedented prices for sweet pepper
Unprecedented light bill
SOMEBODY PUT ME BACK IN THE PRECEDENTED UNIVERSE
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Dumplin Detective
Dumplin Nuh needed inna soup, dumplin Nuh needed inna nthn. Mi seh mi a cook ground provision and yaa ask bout dumplin. Dumplin a provision?
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Sue if you want us to pay attention the what you’re saying, please send voice notes. We’re not listening fr 😭😭
What is Andrew going to do about the taxi man dem whe a kill we off pan the road???
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Nobody in Jamaica doing actual small knotless like these and that’s my beef.
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