hollis
@holiltheV
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• Gwennelin ~ Maiden of The Complete Song • In Jose Mourinho we trust •
Alad Ech-amhail
Joined January 2019
Jangan lupa bos yg buli intern, yg nak pendekkan cuti bersalin pekerja. Ni lah dia orangnya. .
Bestnya dapat bos pemurah macam ni 👍. its not about the amount of, the feel of getting appreciated is love.
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Kawan aku takde duit, aku send nasi kerabu je. Vivy takde duit, kawan dia hantar beef wellington. Dan cara dia cerita mcm pantry rumah dia kosong takde makanan langsung, gas habis, letrik takde kena potong, petrol kereta takde, dan gelang mas habis kena gadai. Pantat.
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When I was 16, ustaz Sufian was 32, married w 2 kids. He got my number from a friend, started texting me. I used my friend's hp at that time. It was nothing unusual until he sent me a riddle. "Apa benda yg ada pada org perempuan, tak ada pada lelaki?". I answered - kebijaksanaan.
Cikgu perempuan 37 tahun, pelajar lelaki 17 tahun. Apa sebenarnya yang berlaku?.
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Jangan pergi pejabat agama kalau dh nekad nak cerai. Pegi terus mahkamah. Pegi pejabat memang dia suruh kaunseling sampai kau kena tibai separuh nyawa dgn laki tak guna. Bawak salinan ic laki n sijil nikah semua, apply cerai. Pegi sorg pun takpe. Nanti bg je arahan court kt laki.
Makcik aku pi pej agama nak tuntut fasahk end up dia kata jangan cerai dulu, nanti statistic cerai negeri naik 😂🙄, laki kaki ketum pun kena suruh hadap sabar.
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Saya sudah bilang - kalau ambik betul2 takdenye nina nak ambik balik thru mahkamah. N masa dia buat public apology siap letak nama betul mak budak tu, in my head, kau gila ke apa noh letak nama mak dia kat situ. Every adoption is anonymous n private. Macam dia nak kenakan balik.
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Eksiden. Pegi buat report. Dia tanya, "Ada dashcam?" .Takde."Kalau takde kami takleh buat apa.". Motivasi jenis apa yg perlu kita beri disini?. (10 markah).
Efficient Polis Malaysia ni sebenarnya, cuma perlu motivasi yang betul.
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Usahanya lah nak cerita betapa lembab KKM tu supaya org ambik medical card dia n masuk swasta. Last2 bila kes placenta previa, habis Thomson, Columbia, Sime Darby, KPJ semua taknak, tolak ke Hospital Tuanku Azizah jugak. Habis bayar bulan2 ni setakat nak admit demam je ke?.
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Ustazah Siti - panggil semua boys tahun 6 ke surau utk tgk dia sebat 5x aku sorg2 pompuan sbb lambat masuk kelas, baru balik pertandingan bercerita dr sekolah lain. Dia tak percaya / tak suka 🤷🏻♀️. Years later, dia masuk paper tuntut cerai laki dia ketua PAS negeri kuat meliwat.
Stress and depressed teachers wujud. Masa darjah 5, cikgu math ganti kelas seni. Most of us tak bawa barang seni. Dia minta semua beratur, dia lempang dua belah pipi serentak. Tiap orang kena 3 kali. Very unnecessary.
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Then the FB era started, I was in my 2nd year uni when I received a DM from him, asking forgiveness for what he's done. The way I see it, he was not sorry, he was trying his luck once again coz then I was no longer a minor. I didnt reply his DMs too, I just ignored it, till now.
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@therealsuezy Overheard in 1 production house - "Benda ni dah jadi sejak azali." And then somebody asked, "Azali ni siapa, Ema?".
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@cheajibsayang Tak pasai pompuan. Kami boh gambaq stereng nak pancing sapa? Anak ikan hat ramai gay? Ampa la, buat modai pancing bimbo, pancing janda. Toksah dok kona kot kami.
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Dan sebelum kawin, diorang wajib check HIV je. Mana ada check STD. Itu yang kawin legal. Yang kawin kat siam? Mana ada check apa-apa. Ketuat kelamin, kutu kelamin, sifilis, herpes. Korang ingat datang dr pelacur je ke?.
I pun baru dua hari lepas belajar pasal ni. Poligami pun boleh bawa HIV dan penyakit kelamin lain ye anak anak. Bak kata Dr Suba “kau ingat virus tahu ke halal haram? Kau ada empat isteri, tukar tukar tiap hari, virus tak lekat ke?”.
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@draensaari "Sorry encik, kalau penis besar pencil, kita ada option penis filler. Kita treat masalah pada pangkal dia.".
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He said no. Told him I gave up. He replied, "Benda tu ada di celah kaki awak.". I was even more confused - what the hell is it? He told me it was my pussy. I stopped texting him. Zaman tu mana ada block ni, zaman sms rm 0.01. Heck, screenshot pun tarak.
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If I had the gatalness like my friend who was very fond of that ustaz, maybe the case of cikgu vs student would happened to me. I stopped texting him almost immediately when I realized he was crossing the line, even if he didnt realized that as an adult. I was 16!.
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@shiinsuke Pilih salah satu je, jarang dapat jackpot dua-dua besaq. Nicky Minaj ya, tapi solat pulak tak jaga.
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@stuffypenggu Yelah, mana ada org reveal mak kandung gitu. Ada yg ambik anak angkat yg tak sah taraf, ada yg ambik dr family miskin. Info tu antara mak kandung dgn foster parents je. Kenakan miss nina or kenakan mak kandung budak tu sbb dia terpaksa buat public apology. Saja make more mess.
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@imemerang Takdelah, yg first tu je, tu pun sebab dia pakai shades. You look way better, perangai pun jauh lebih baik darinya.
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@arfdy12 Sebab dah bayar mahal. Ingat murah ke ruhainies n kakak dia punya fee? Sebab tu kalau nak selamat, letak siap2 dalam clause contract, selagi tak siar pape benda yg dah shoot, kalau dia buat onar yg boleh mencemar nama company atau product, melalui mana2 platform, kita boleh saman.
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Been telling people this - polygamy = multiple sex partners. Apparently, orang yg poligami tak tahu yg dia adalah termasuk kategori multiple sex partners. Risiko HIV dan sakit lain meningkat mendadak. Sorang ada yis, semua ada yis. Berjemaah jangkitan dia.
I pun baru dua hari lepas belajar pasal ni. Poligami pun boleh bawa HIV dan penyakit kelamin lain ye anak anak. Bak kata Dr Suba “kau ingat virus tahu ke halal haram? Kau ada empat isteri, tukar tukar tiap hari, virus tak lekat ke?”.
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@magmalaya Yasin n Apek adalah kombinasi yg mantap. They never break character, they stayed funny throughout their prime. What cancel them? Drug allegations. Tu je. Otherwise, diorang masih lagi kelakar sampai sekarang.
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@adlinakml Dia bukan aurat. Dia macam flex dalam kalangan ibu menyusu. "Look, my tetek got more milk than you. I can pump 3 bottles in one go." . Tu je.
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@Lily29868657 I wouldnt say that per se but the day I read abt it in newspaper (I seldomly read physical newspaper), found her name there, and later found an article w her name n picture online,. I kinda feel fate wanted me to know, payback is real, even if you kinda let it slide initially.
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@_thedailyrantt I thought he was giving me something challenging, at least something to tease my brain. I didnt expect something so blatantly stupid to be asked by a cikgu, let alone an ustaz.
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@pedoqpop Tak. Ni redeem mesra points. Pernah jadi dekat saya. Duit dah habis langsung. Dalam poket zero, dalam bank ada 20 ringgit. Collect duit syiling satu rumah untuk buat beli makan. Bila nak isi minyak kereta, redeem point mesra. Dapat la dalam 7 ringgit. Sedih betul ingat zaman tu.
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@tattyhassan Tapi sedihnya, dengan exposure dunia luar yg diorang ada, unlike zaman kita, diorang masih pilih untuk tidak sambung belajar lepas spm, masih pilih untuk jadi influencer, dan lebih menyedihkan, menjadi generasi yg tiada manners & common sense.
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@hadherraa @shamaineothman My partner did this too to his kids, buying Robux especially. And he took money from them, put inside one big tabung he hid somewhere. The kids learnt that everything comes with a price, and my partner keeps the money for kids' education. Or when their phones need replacement.
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@pedoqpop Orang tua macam daim ni takde pulak scammer nak scam. Ni makcik yg duit pun dapat dari anak2 yg dia nak scam.
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@pedoqpop Less than 1k? Takyah, tak berbaloi. Katakan ada kes mahkamah, kantoi guna pekerja tanpa visa ke, yg kena pegi, hang. Bukan director lain tu. Dan buatnya ada projek yg kena ada bumi director, untung projek dapat kt depa, hang nganga saja. Tapi kalau ada prob, orang cari hang.
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@HezeriSamsuri And kena implement rules budak naik motor kena pakai helmet kaw kaw jugak. My view tengok parents pickup kids from school was terrifying. Semua tak pakai helmet.
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@suhairimamu Selagi mana boleh berjalan dan bercakap untuk buat permohonan cerai, buat jelah. Dah kena tibai sampai patah riuk, sampai koma, takleh buat apa dah. Ada kes, bukan tak ada. Bukan nak galakkan sgt cerai, tapi nak selamatkan nyawa.
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@shamienhereyo @Pelabur_Bijak Elrah, HASNURI, sama je. Pastu kerah pekerja buat content hari-hari. Pekerja pun tak tau yang sepatutnya content creator adalah jawatan lain. Bukan free. Bukan setakat bagi makan, terus buat video terkinja kinja, terlompat lompat. Melayu isley. Jilat jijan scammer sampai sudah.
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@TashaJoanes @broithrtsrlybad As long as dia tak kacau periuk nasi orang, dia tak menyusahkan orang lain, Sajat is fine. Anak2 dia sekolah ada event, dia pegi. Nak tido, dia kiss good night. Sajat is both a dad and a mom to the kids. Kenapa nak ambik yang buruk pasal dia, sedangkan yang baik tu ada?.
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@takaharasuiko Cerita pasal selaput dara, nenek aku tak bagi naik basikal dulu, takut pecah. Gore betul gambaran yang dia bagi. Tapi jiwa tomboy aku naik je basikal lasak-lasak. Siap jatuh ravine. Yang berdarah lutut dan siku, bukan spender. #edukasipussi.
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@ImranAjmain Kalau beras 3 cup, air 3.5 cup, santan sekotak. Kalau buat banyak, contoh double - beras 6 cup, air 6.5 cup, santan 2 kotak. Tapi ni ratio beras biasa. Beras basmathi, follow instruction beras, tapi santan always the same. 3 cup beras - santan sekotak.
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@ImranAjmain Menjerit, double check account, jerit lagi, panggil orang lain utk double check, sama-sama menjerit, bernafas dalam-dalam untuk tenangkan fikiran, basuh muka. Baru reply.
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@pidotburn Mungkin ni kifarah untuk agent dan syarikat insurans selama ni menunggang kematian sedara mara kita, buat kita rasa kalau ambik insurans, mesti panjang umoq.
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@Shadzreen_ @haziq_fadhullah Tak, I'll teach you how. Dont go to pejabat agama, thats the bullshit place ever. Go straight to mahkamah syariah, preferably putrajaya. Write a letter, saying you (isteri) are demanding for this. Then go to mahkamah and get all the borangs. Fill them up. If you can get your -.
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@fendyzaidan @haziq_fadhullah Well, what do you expect from someone who failed to draw her own brows?.
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@jannahjailani It took me 3 years to finally understand Publika - from parking at the right spot, going shopping and returning to parked car without getting lost. 3 years.
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@ladymissazira @rdzaminhat If I were the 2nd wife, damn, I wonder how when there's fight. "Eh, pasal nak kawen dengan you, I kena bagi my first wife banglo n penthouse tau! Kereta lagi, CC lagi!". Baler balerr.
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@aswaliaaa Shampoo ni, masa beli rm17 je sebotol. Tu pun dah rasa mahal. Dan dulu tu pun, setahun lepas. Masa MCO. Sekarang? Rm32. Lepas diskaun yang kadang-kadang ada jadi rm30. Baru shampoo, belum conditioner lagi.
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@ketengahketepi Keratin treatment, dekat sungei wang. Kedai tingkat 1. Cari hairstylist nama Rufa. Dia cuti hari Khamis. Rufa buat rambut i dah bertahun tahun. Rufa shampoo rambut pun sedap. Lepas keratin, next month tu datang buat scalp treatment. Underrated tau kedai ni. Tapi service best.
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@lxcleopatraxl Ya, masa zaman kita, alih kerusi kawan masa dia nak duduk, takpun, tarik kerusi dia masa dia jungkit kerusi. Satu hari, sorang budak sampai lumpuh. Baru berakal satu negeri tak buat dah benda bodoh tu. Tu zaman before socmed, dan negeri pun negeri perlis, berita senang tersebar.
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@hamka_yazid I was never impressed by the ability of men being able to tell whether I am menstruating or not. You know I am on my period? Good. My coochie is vomitting blood. If you really know more abt MY body, feel free to share the info, especially life-threatening ones. Or diam jelah.
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@AhmadIzhamOmar You be careful. My 50 yo uncle - super athletic, 48km finisher, cricket athlete - was dealing with 🪳 during xmas, one climbed up his leg so he jumped a bit to halau it. Later he complained of knee pain. Did MRI n found micro fractures and soft tissue injuries. Still recovering.
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@user0725777 My nenek, after 3 mins of being forced to buy something, "Eh, beruk, aku kabo tak mboh, tak mboh lah!". I miss my nenek so much.
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@hxrryxo_ @haziq_fadhullah I'll bring you chaos and drama. Drugs? If you're okay with Paracetamol and some ibuprofen, I'll bring those too.
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@aqiloholic @elissomel We are in denial okay! We would like to think that it's winning instead of losing. Stop making us realizing the reality!.
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@mikhailhanafi JPJ almost failed me for this reason - I didnt say anything to him, no semekom, no good morning. In my head, I was trying to remember the sequence. So I said, "Saya nak off enjin, so panas sikit ye." He sindir, "yelah, kalau tak off mcm mana nak hidup balik.". K fine.
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@jllmisai Kalau masak benda bercuka, acar timun nenas ke, jangan guna sudu besi. Guna sudu plastik atau sudu kayu. Apa sahaja masakan bercuka. Nanti rasa besi tu lekat dalam makanan, jadi pahit.
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@chairman_GLC Malaysia sayang penyangak, biang kerok, penyamun, perasuah, perogol. Mana mungkin akan kena macam ni. .
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@iamdrjoe I tak penah nangis benda2 bodoh gini. Pastu kakak senior datang tanya kenapa i anak tak berguna dan tak berhati perut utk cuba buat i nangis. I cakap diorang feed on people's tears for their own satisfaction, sangat sadistic ya. I kena panggil cikgu kaunseling the next day.
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@lorettabagg She asked for zebra crossing! How unselfish is that? I tot she's going to ask for more ubat ke, to scold the police ke, . Zebra crossing?? I am so speechless.
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@Feeryna @haziq_fadhullah Dia apa tau susah, petang-petang naik scooter dengan bini keliling neighbourhood rumah juta-juta, record dengan camera ribu-riban. Orang lain yang tengah fikir duit cukup tak untuk makan minggu depan, dia enjoy order foodpanda grabfood dua tiga trip sehari ke rumah. Bapak enjoy.
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@markonahajis My answer, "Ada dah aritu, pastu jual balik kat Carousell, maintenance tinggi. Payah bela. Uih, pening!". The expression on the their faces, I tell you, macam Mastercard. Priceless.
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@mamuvies You tell me, nivea pun 15.90 now for 2 pack. Like my mom said, ketiak pun high maintenance now.
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@hafizmdrahim @jllmisai Betul la tu muslim friendly, dia tegur muslim yg lalu lalang, "welcome. ".
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@SpongeBobCatz Patutnya siapa yg volunteer first batch of AZ dapat diskaun macam-macam, cukai ke, kalau parking kereta dapat rebate ke, kan best.
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@localrkyt Tido tak pakai baju. Dia perempuan weyh. Dia buat macam budak lelaki, tido pakai boxer je. Blanket apa pun tarak. Dah la dia jenis tido awal. Pukul 9 dah tutup lampu. Katil dia betul depan pintu bilik. Kita bukak pintu je terus mengucap panjang, "Ya rabbi, kopek.".
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@localrkyt Keracunan hati. Fun fact, orang yg ada Hirschsprung Disease takleh berry,so tinja berkumpul dalam perut kadang sampai sebulan. Diorang perlu ubat untuk berry, bukan laxative biasa. Bila dah lama simpan, toksin dlm badan bertambah, hati takleh tapis. Maka, hargailah nikmat berry.
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@Dafrosty @chairman_GLC Dah tak jadi menteri nanti kita tambah sikit bawah tu tahun perkhidmatan.
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@TypicalMsian Takde sape ke nak buat petition supaya dia ni resign? Press con pagi tadi jelas-jelas tunjuk betapa tak reti buat kerja, malas, tak bersungguh pun dengan apa yg jadi. Orang cedera teruk, dia gelak-gelak, tak sensitif langsung.
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@mvhdfrhn Try to be funny. Short guys are always attractive when they're funny. But 168? You're not that short. Maybe you're fishing in a wrong lake. A lake with too many tall fishes.
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@FarraDiana_ Kalau family dia pun mcm tak suka, tak payah. Combo pulak dengan bekas cheater. Kau nak jadi base drama melayu tv3 ke? Ingat senang ke kawen dgn org yg family dia tak suka kita?.
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@tuntejoe Yang dekat tempat kau rajin kot, kebetulan aku kena yg mungkin tak makan lagi, tak apa lagi. Tapi report kena buat jugak. Dia cakap siang2 takleh buat apa. Setakat boleh terima report je.
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@bckupacc99 Orang perempuan yg ada tiktok je. Yang masa tak ngandung, dia menari lompat-lompat, laki dia tolong rekod.
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@j3llybean__ Anak dia pun dia tibai letak nama perancis padahal laki org Perak, dia org Kelantan. Tah mana mai darah perancis.
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@zhafvlog Sebab tak boleh. Kita tak boleh buat cerita yg touch benda2 sensitip macam YDPA, even pasal bodyguard dia pun tak boleh. Kalau nak buat pasal fictional secret service,skrip tak boleh jatuhkan nama PDRM, ATM dan seangkatan. Takleh cerita pasal polis korup, double agent, cannot.
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@XXXbyefelicia CDC 308 dengan 201 ni mmg berperangai pantat sket. Dia peram barang sampai sama level pH dengan tempoyak. Kadang2 dia hantar barang pergi ke sabah kejap buat umrah dan ziarah, pastu balik semenanjung semula. time kita g gegar cdc ni, selepas 4 jam cari, dia cakap parcel delivered.
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By far, this is the geli-est, cringiest video I've seen of Hafiz Mahamad. Kau nak jadi hero, kau jadi. Kau nak sayang bini, go ahead. But this? Yurgh. and for the sake of content? Damn, apa dah jadi dengan dunia? . Vid by rotikaya
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@twtsecretsmy Mintak ayah sign borang wakil wali. So, nanti bila ayah tak hadir, bagi lah alasan ayah tengah di luar kawasan liputan ke, buat umrah ke, bertugas di luar negara ke. You dont have to explain everything to everyone. A simple white lie would suffice. Jaga aib ayah.
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@twtbiy Muka gini pun boleh berbini dan bergirlfriend. Buta kayu orang perempuan zaman sekarang.
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@bckupacc99 Lowball kena beragak, jangan sampai lupa, orang tu niaga sebab nak cari makan. Kalau lowball dengan member yg markup gila2, logik. Ni sampai member untung sekupang dua je, takyah la. Dia pun ada keluarga nak support.
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@MHaffizJ Blah je. Sebab esok lusa, dia akan pilih bini dia n dia akan salahkan awak sebab goda dia. Dan bini dia dgn bodohnya akan attack awak sebab rasa suami dia terpaling suci. Satu dunia panggil awak penyondol.Padahal, sebelum awak, dah banyak pompuan yg dia curi2 main masa bini takde.
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@thewootwoot @shamaineothman I got first my Pap Smear at PPUM and when I called my parents to tell them, both were mad at me. Super MAD. "Diorang tak boleh buat pap smear dekat orang tak kawin!". And to realize that I am from a family of academicians.
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@bukannamabetui @bahruddinbekri Semalam saya tanya abg kedai acheh, jintan manis yang mana satu sebab diorang repacked takde label. Lama jugak dia cuba jawab, pastu dia cakap, "Jintan putih yg tak putih. Jintan manis yang putih.".
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@Korangxperlutau New naming. Can I do that to my name too? Coz I am hating the binti thing since forever.
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