Shamaine Othman
@shamaineothman
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writer, comedian(stand up, @aiiaimprov , @diskobaldi ),actor, producer,director. Made in 🇲🇾. @jlo STAN. R-RATED TWEETS. Bookings: nat.idris @gmail .com Free 🇵🇸
Kuala Lumpur, MALAYSIA
Joined March 2012
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3 tahun lepas saya telah mengundi Azmin Ali untuk MP Gombak.
Masih teringat beratur panjang di Sekolah Agama di Taman Melawati.
ingatkan dia baik, rupanya dia babi.
sorry guys...
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Crowd : HIDUP TUN!
Tun M : Yes yes I’m still alive.
HAHAHAHAHHAHA LEGEND!
#pru14
#ge14
#malaysiamemilih
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The best thing she did was leave this country.
Michelle Yeoh — the ballerina who became a beauty queen who became a Hong Kong martial arts star who became a screen legend — finally gets her first top billing in a Hollywood theatrical feature with the metaphysical romp
#EverythingEverywhereAllatOnce
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Periuk nasi kita mereka tak kisah langsung. Yang penting, isteri boleh buat baju 8 keping dengan Rizalman,tops 8k sepasang, lepas tu nak beli beg CHANEL JUMBO for their daughters, Birkin untuk mistress,
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I have done my part. I have stayed home for 3 months. I have had no choice to withdraw my EPF. I educated myself as much as I can and got vaccinated via first AZ rollout. Second dose on 2/8. I dah donate where I can. Apa lagi ? I have done my part. This is really infuriating.
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Ya ampun konsert PIBG ada Beyonce
Beyoncé really showed out for Blue Ivy school fundraiser…. We love a hardworking muva
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u mean there are other instruments besides the recorder?
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Nak bagitahu uolz skrg dekat UK, political adviser PM diorang baru dok bongkar strategi PM diorang masa lockdown tahun lepas. Dia bongkar cerita yang PM diorang sampai sanggup biarkan mayat bertimbun-timbun dia tak kisah langsung nak lockdown. Jadi tak mustahil untuk
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bestnya jadi omputih... kalau perangai cam sial sampai boleh membawa bahaya ke orang awam, orang masih boleh kesiankan kau..wah wah...patutlah kita dijajah dulu lol
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nurul izzah for PM. PLS. NO seriously. Imagine if she was our PM right now.
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Ismail Sabri bringing his granddaughter to a hotel banquet for children’s day while the breakfast programme doesn’t get continued is PEAK MALAYSIAN BULLSHIT.
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If you have a daughter, I hope you will stop drilling into her head that marriage is a milestone that she has to achieve at a certain age. It isn't. Today, the world is a different place for women to go after their wildest dreams.
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sharing this again so u can use it in group chats, etc.
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Suggestion: Didik TV should hire the many unemployed actors to deliver the syllabus. Teachers are not used to 'performing' for the camera. Teachers should work with scriptwriters to come up with the daily syllabus.
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Patutlah kutuk Netflix. Dia nak launch “aflix”.
Ethical streaming platform ? So Netflix tu unethical is it? Just coz it has mature content ? Grow the fuck up.
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
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Komedi dalam Bahasa Melayu harus berhenti menggunakan berat badan, warna kulit, stereotaip bangsa minoriti sebagai bahan jenaka.
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dating in your late 30s is nice; it's like here are 10 bad things about me, ko nak ke tak nak?
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I can't. A MyBurger Lab staff was eating before his shift started. Restaurant empty. Just him seated at a table, eating.
@PDRMsia
comes and tells him to go balai so they can fine him RM 25,000.00.
HOW IS THIS NOT ZALIM ?
@MuhyiddinYassin
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if an app can tell me when my period is due, an app should be able to notify you of your vaccine appointment- without having you to check everyday. OMG.
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someone has to pay for their holiday in london and it's us.
Semua tempat banjir. Kita sebok membangun bandar sampai lupa nak jaga kawasan tadahan air semulajadi
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If they can normalize rasuah, they will also normalize rogol.
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KJ should win an OSCAR for looking at a marijuana plant like it’s his first time.
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Fyi bapak aku tak dapat satu sen.
Pi Mai Pi Mai Tang Tu Dan Spanar Jaya Diumumkan Akan Tiba Di Netflix
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HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA gais... tengok rasuah pun dia target rasuah level marhaen je
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i was about to give up on life... Then i met this Twitter account
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wah gambar pencabul merata kl. gross.
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My mummy has a complaint
@staronline
- why are your illustrations just of girls ? Boys should learn to do house chores too!
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give it back to PH. Let us be angry at people we voted for.
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our PM today. while many Malaysians are out there rescuing other Malaysians.
remember this.
Caption tu yg penting...
Kemain silang panggung... Melayu kalau tk cerdik lg tk tau la
Yg sebelah tu kaki jilat dh dpt jd senator dgn lulusan master depan giant setiawangsa... 🙄
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Rich people need to stop running our government. Tengku Zafrul is a MEGA DUNGU. Not all of us can go to boarding school in UK and fraternize with fellow “anak rajas” and then marry into wealth n job security.
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Nama penuh Bella Hadid is Isabella Khairiah Hadid. Sounds like a girl with helicopter parents that live in Mutiara Damansara.
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Look at how Wan Azizah is hugging him 😭😭😭
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ok la gotta admit- tun M 98 years old lagi steady bila bercakap dari Biden yang hanya 80 tahun…
wanna know why? USA takde IJN
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Our health DG bagi weather updates tapi environment minister tuan ibrahim buat apa tu ?
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Generation muda dah lain guys. Kita kena catch up.
At my niece’s school, laluan tangga pelajar lelaki dan pelajar perempuan diasingkan. Kau nak tahu apa anak buah aku cakap ?
“Abis tu pelajar non-binary nak lalu mana?”
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so basically after the assassination attempt on kim jong nam at KLIA2 years ago - our airport security and police didn't come up with a murder/assassination attempt protocol......
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“Is it coz I’m Chinese ?” is the best tagline for CNY 2019.
IS IT COZ I’M CHINESE ?
CNY 2019
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I just read about this 76 yr old lady in Kelantan that walked for 3 hours to get to a PPV to get vaccinated.
We were never a country that was doing well. We covered the rampant corruption with twin towers and F1 track... a “multimedia super corridor”.
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Hey Malaysian creatives, leave the country. We are in the right industry, just the wrong country.
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We need a functioning royalty system in MALAYSIA, STAT !!!!!!
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I get very jealous when I see toddlers being pushed around in strollers. I pun nak jugak...naik stroller.
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suggestion: msians born after 2007 cannot be eligible to receive any titles (datuk/tan sri/datuk sri/tun)... imagine a future without these useless titles.
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WORD! one of the nicest guys in the industry. Professional, committed and kind.
I have seen this dude stand up for women sooooo many times. When people disregard or put women down this dude is always there to put things right. Such a rare gem. Thank you Brudder Man. More dudes should learn from you.
Hidup Alif Satar!! 🙌❤️🙌
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somebody said ronny chieng n Michelle yeoh jarang keluar local tv and tengok-tengok dah keluar filem marvel….
HAHAHAHA
APO? Keluar local tv ? When every goddamn series looks like kat Msia ni ada orang Melayu je. please la our local industry always overlooks non malay talent.
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is the opposite of casual sex...formal sex ?
"Mengumumkan ketibaan orgasm berhormat...(with gamelan music playing)"
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peak malaysian is going to London to see and hang out with other malaysians in London.
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would u agree that one main reason malaysians are overworked is because a lot of organizations choose to be understaffed. just to keep overheads low, they don’t hire enough people and expect one person to do 3 person’s job.
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Truth : i voted PH without caring about their manifesto. I just wanted BN out. If i gotta pay for toll, i gotta pay for toll.
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So mamat yang kena cucuk 1 millionth dose at WTC KL pun kena quarantine la kan ? Hergh Menyusahkan hidup je PM -9 ,
@IsmailSabri60
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"nanti jom-pergi dating dgn abang"
"eh tak boleh bang..saya lesbian"
"lagi bagus...boleh threesome"
This conversation took place between a female talent co-ordinator and a male (married) actor, she was leading him to his holding room.That line "saya lesbian" is one of the many
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If Syed Saddiq is Minister of Youth and Sports just coz he’s young and play sports than I should be Minister of Big Breasts and Naps.
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A young chap DMed me asking for nudes and offered cash.
Managed to find his mother on Facebook. Should I let her know how her son is behaving ?
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When I produced Sedapnya Mulut, I had to sit in a function room with 10-15 execs from legal, content and compliance to comb through every comedian’s set.
So I’m completely baffled how nobody flagged Shuk’s question or Fauzi’s answer.
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omputih on expat page asks what’s life like in KL ? Is English widely spoken ?
Maybe learn the bloody fucking national language, Sheila! If I move to your country I have to fucking retake IELTS even after graduating from a bloody Aussie uni.
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BUT WE ARE EXPECTED TO WORK FROM HOME? oi PN unlike you guys, the rest of us do ACTUAL WORK ....also...what about kids who learn at home...OMG... WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
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i thought “berhala” isn’t allowed in Islam
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Real Malaysian women do awesome stuff like expose corruptors yet on our tv screens we see them begging their rapist to marry them.. 🤷🏻♀️
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Let the Western media laugh at our Doraemon debacle. At least, we’re flattening the curve better than they are.
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Are you broke broke or are you bangsar broke ?
what’s bangsar broke ?
You got no money but still got a bit to order Foodpanda.
Oh..
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Thinking of our healthcare workers in the Klang Valley who have to deal with this major accident on top of everything else... let’s have them in our prayers. ♥️
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only in Malaysia.
Govt: we’re raising the prices of cigarettes and introducing more no smoking zones to encourage Msians to quit smoking, so they lead a healthier life and look forward to a future with their families.
Smoking Msians: FUCK OFF! LET US DIE!
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what is syariah compliant lingerie ?
G-had string ?
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maybe malaysian malays and chinese singaporeans should make babies and create super racist perasan bagus babies lol
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going to bed ...leaving you guys with this. ♥️♥️♥️keep all our healthcare workers in your prayers.
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he says while donning a polo ralph lauren face mask.
Jejak Prihatin kenal pasti 15,000 keluarga miskin di Kuala Lumpur, Putrajaya
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If only there was an empowered, independent female millionaire hijabi tycoon from Kelantan with 5.8 million followers on Instagram who would speak up against child marriages especially in her hometown.
If only....
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last trip to SG, took the bus from Orchard Rd to my sister's place. Next to us in the bus was a lady who was carrying an Hermes shopping bag.
A developed country is not a place where the poor have cars. It's where the rich use public transportation. - Gustavo Petro.
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lesson is whenever DSAI says he has the numbers it actually means that he doesn’t
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he's firing you?
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Nobody bugs married women about their careers but most people always bug career women about getting married.
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I hope one day be becomes our PM. Just saying.
Orang tikam belakang akhirnya sama ditikam juga, Dr Dzul ingatkan Muhyiddin
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You had the chance to tell him at the mamak. Nobody was there!
Umno Youth Chief,
@Khairykj
regrets hiding the truth from
@NajibRazak
over the grassroots rejection of UMNO, following the sacking of Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin and Datuk Seri Shafie Apdal, who publicly criticized the former Prime Minister over 1MDB.
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Dear Malaysians who don’t watch local films but now are damn surprised to see we have some good ones thanks to Pulang and One Two Jaga on Netflix,
pls go to the cinemas and catch a local film.Make noise about it. we need it. Currently,Polis Evo 2 is a good watch. Buy a ticket!
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Raya from home! Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri everybody! Maaf zahir dan batin!
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I’m starting to think someone at bkt aman has a huge crush on him.
BEBAS!
Selepas ditahan sejak pukul 4 tadi, polis rampas phone aku, ambil cap jari & ambil gambar aku macam penjenayah. Mereka nak ambil DNA tapi aku tak bagi. Kemudian polis buat keputusan utk bebaskan aku dengan jaminan polis. Tak perlu tidur lokap malam ni!
#SatireIsNotACrime
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Me, dating at 39:
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like just fucking cast me already hahahahaha
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Wardrobe Dept. Squid Game memang untung...how did they find so many actors who ALL HAD THE SAME tracksuits to bring to shoot...amazing! 🤣🤣🤣
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@SyedSaddiq
Sorry YB. So many of us are over this nonsense. We voted for change in 2018. Clearly banyak yang reject change. Don’t see an end to this.
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In your 30s kalau nak impromptu ajak geng keluar, kena make sure it’s before they cabut bra for the day… coz once dah cabut.. it’s point of no return.
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British news outlet reports British man speaking up against oppressive anti Lgbt laws in Malaysia which were first put in place by…. Wait for it….. THE FUCKING BRITISH!!! 🖕🏼
Matty Healy: 1975 show ended in Malaysia after singer attacks anti-LGBT laws
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THIS.
He is getting press till today. Every perpetrator gets the spotlight. Never the victims or survivors. Yet, women who come forward are always accused of wanting fame.
Bundy loved the admiration and in 2019, we’re still perpetuating it.
As we all binge The Bundy Tapes on
@Netflix
and share the trailer for the Zac Efron movie, please remember the victims. These women all had hopes and dreams. They should all have movies made about them. I always try to remember what these monsters took away.
#TedBundyTapes
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Which part of the Quran allows you to brutally bash another human being ?
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