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@fionerss
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happy place is my fav artist + a dancefloor. ♎︎ ENFP 🇦🇱🏳️🌈. #BLM #PLF Top0.01%Funktion Enjoyer
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Pinned Tweet
Was on a date with a guy and we kissed and his watch started beeped really loud and we looked down and it said “abnormal heart rate detected” lol
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PRO TIP: if you are exposed to mace and/or tear gas DO NOT MASTURBATE, EVEN AFTER YOU WASH YOUR HANDS SEVERAL TIMES. this is not a joke i’m suffering
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@m_ariannaaaa
@thedancerjessxx
girl it was the next day and i wasn’t even turned on i just needed dopamine i’m fuckin depressed 😭
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To set the scene, we were on a romantic date in a rose garden drinking rosé
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Turns out that me and my boyfriend both got surprises for each other today🥺 My surprise is that I got him an espresso machine and his surprise is that we’re breaking up
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@kilIacourt
the way she said “im gonna tell them there’s an african american man threatening my life” that first time...gave me chills. the way she raised her eyebrows, the tone in her voice. it was a clear threat to his life. it was cold-blooded and evil. it makes me shiver
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My boss is the one who introduced us and when I told him this story he was like “ew gross” but then privately he was like “ok I love this, he deserves someone good in his life”. So yeah the wholesomeness is at an all time high
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@hoodniggaguillo
What led to his death was his dealer selling him drugs with fentanyl in them. Cmon don’t be spreading this BS
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I met this boy
@UbbidubbiFest
last weekend and never got his @ 😭 he stayed with me the entire festival on day two. Vincent the Aquarius from midland, tx, you’ve been in my mind ever since. Twitter do your thing 😭
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@m_ariannaaaa
@thedancerjessxx
i turned the bath on with cold water and just ran cold water over it until the burning calmed down. i feel a lot better now, thank you love ❤️
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@argumentwinner
it's also because a TON of carcinogenic and toxic ingredients that are found in abundance in US foods are literally ILLEGAL in Europe.
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anyone looking to help out, here’s a list of organizations that the Minnesota Freedom Fund has asked us to donate to:
Black Visions Collective:
Reclaim The Block:
North Star Health Collective:
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@space_welding
It gave me butterflies! I was just as flustered as he was honestly haha. He admitted to liking me for the first time and I told him I liked him back and then we kissed some more 🥰
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This is genuinely so funny to me if this is real I need to meet this person
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@kristoferthomas
This is all insane but the most unhinged part is that she wished you a happy saint Patrick’s Day in fucking February lmao
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@calebsaysthings
Me at the shelter: I want to meet that one
Shelter staff: are you sure? do you want to meet any others?
Me: nope, just her.
They were like “just to warn you she’s really shy and may not warm up”
Shes my best friend now, so fucking perfect for me I love her quirky ass 🥺
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@ellebeecher
Omg his was literally a Garmin watch also!! That’s so funny. And also that’s so wholesome he admitted it to you 🥺
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@AUTISTICWIFE420
I’ve become so wary of the phrase “abusive housing situation”. people have co-opted the term from “my life is literally in danger” to “I don’t like my roommates they’re meanies”
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@Shelvin_Wack
@Alakaeee
@fatalCK
why the fuck would you say “oh” in response to a picture of a girls titties lmfaoooo who raised you
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He took this candid pic of me that day and he liked it so much he made it my contact pic 🥺
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@THATtittyhoe
my ex asked if i wanted him to delete my nudes and i was like i don’t care if you still wanna masturbate to me that’s your choice lol
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@alew_plf
@kilIacourt
she keeps saying “african american” because she KNOWS that he knows what happens when cops respond to calls about black men. it’s so vile. and you’re right it’s insane how she’s choking her dog while telling the police he’s threatening her dog. just evil all around. so scary
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@CaucasianJames
This whole saga has me in tears laughing. The fact that so many people didn’t realize it was a joke. The fact that people are so invested in your life they talk about you to their IRL friends and give them life updates about you. The whole thing is just fucking gold
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I will smoke and reply to 47 peoples stories because I’m feeling social and then wake up the next day to 47 messages and panic
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more ways to help:
Here’s this doc... it has list of resources ive seen, it includes a compiled list of petitions, resources, ways to get in touch with law officials, and organizations you can donate to support the george floyd and blm movement
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@MiamiMoleMan
@HoratioSkald
ooo yea i’ve done that before too. i wish i learned my lesson lol but i’ve washed my hands like 10 times since last night so i thought i’d be safe
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@kaicomedy
Dude I had that thought too lmfao like that is almost a months rent for me. That’s a level of privilege I will never understand
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@squidvici0us
Lmfao that was my exact first thought likeee even if they did deliver it you spent over $500 on Taco Bell that’s on you baby 😭
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@thesixwriter
After the kiss in the garden we went to the brewery where we first met and got a beer, then hit Trader Joe’s and I bought dinner ingredients and cooked him dinner and we slow danced to Leon Bridges in the kitchen and did a lot more kissing annd he slept over. Magical night tbh
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GUYS GUESS WHAT. He came over today and I was saying something cute to him about liking him and THE WATCH WENT OFF AGAIN I SHIT YOU NOT. He immediately took it off hahahaha
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@_callmedanny_
Apparently they were all wasted drunk and somehow got split up. I don’t think her friends had anything to do with it. Most likely she went to go pee in an alley or something and ran into some shady character
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@notwashedcnu
@__kaiden__
@unbrelieveable
Y’all knew the point he was tryna get across don’t play dumb byeeee
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@caroyncaldwell
@Tables96
I met this British girl who calls it “prinks”, like a shortened version of pre-drinks
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@gloomfather
Ok but if ya go camping you can put a cast iron skillet directly on the fire, had some of my best meals cooked in one of those babies
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@blooddmeridian
@mamayams
This guy is not a crackhead. It’s very obvious in his appearance and the way he talks that he doesn’t do crack. The disrespect on this website I swear to god....
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@benis_boris
@misseverywhereg
@BodyGetTheyMans
@vxrnvn
No you’re not wrong lmao. The Netflix documentary series Don’t Fuck With Cats is a perfect example of how people on the internet are literally better than the FBI
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@TheTylerFritz
@Branden_2719
HAHAHAHAHA saying “not to be homophobic” doesn’t negate homophobic statements. Same way you can’t say “no offense but you’re a horrible person with bad taste and I love watching you suffer” and expect the “no offense” to come off as genuine
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@ZorayaBlack_
It’s completely normal to find flaws in people the more you get to know them. Everyone has flaws and it takes time to discover them. It has nothing to do with fear of commitment
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@misscasiolrmy
@alyssaa822
Am I the only person who doesn’t understand the language this was written in? Eye baking? Huh?
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@kilIacourt
im glad she lost her job and her dog but i wish they would put her in jail too. she was threatening his life and i bet you she would do it again
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@thestonedterf
@sisogynist
They don’t have tickets to Greece which is the ONE thing she said she wanted & he can MOST definitely afford. Not getting them is a choice & it’s a disgusting one. Especially for the woman who’s spent the last decade bearing his children and putting her body and life on the line
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There’s pressure and then there’s “Ivy lab is in the backseat of this car and I’m on aux”
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Interviewer: do you have any work experience in this field?
Me: no
Interviewer: do you have any special skills that could be relevant to the job?
Me: no
Interviewer: so what do you have?
Me: I have 6 kegs
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@JaliyahTheLion
@_callmedanny_
Well apparently her friends did notice she was missing and looked for her and couldn’t find her.
Personally I always check up on my friends and if one of us has to go pee or whatever we always take a bathroom buddy. They definitely should have been more vigilant
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@ellorysmith
When I’m deeply depressed I can’t even leave bed to eat a piece of bread from my kitchen, let alone bake it from scratch lol sounds more like mania to me
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@josiahhughes
He couldn’t make up Cinnamon Toast Crunch’s insane reply of trying to convince him it’s not shrimp though lmao
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@BeenServin
This just reminded me of my friend sitting next to me snorting opiates off his phone in AP psych. I miss him :(
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@holy_schnitt
Wait but pigeons are actually domesticated animals that were abandoned, as crazy as it sounds I think he’s on to something
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@NearlyFarleyArt
@adequateGF
@hostarastrology
If someone was a true “empath” they would not want to be mean to people because that would make their own burden heavier. then they’d have to feel the sadness/disappointment of the person they were just an asshole to, on top of everything else
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i told my mom i was going out to protest again and she said “i’m proud of you and i fully support you, just be safe and try not to get tear gassed again” and i just wanna take a moment to be grateful that i was raised by such an amazing woman
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@jessesternber
@its_leighh
@ccchristieeee
@WestVirginiaU
I hope you find $100 on the ground tomorrow and your favorite artist releases an album soon
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@FrenchAbortion
@Shelvin_Wack
@Alakaeee
@fatalCK
i mean if a girl sent me a picture of her tits i would be like “QUEEN I AM NOT WORTHY OF YOUR GREATNESS HOW DID I GET TO BE SO LUCKY I AM FUCKING SCREAMKNG YOU ARE SO HOT JESUS FUCK”
..... but that’s just me i guess
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